Saturday, May 24, 2008

Cara Bambina - Good Girl at the Zoo

Cara bambina,

Thank you for being so good at the zoo today. You got to meet other babies, kids and parents and see all sorts of animals. You did get a little half hour nap on the way down to the zoo, but you missed your real nap because we were just too busy being at the zoo. But you were a really good girl the whole time!

The zoo itself was chaotic, being Memorial Day weekend and all, but even through the crowds and chaos, you did pretty well. And you let Mama and Daddy have a good time meeting and talking with the other parents and kids.

Grazie,
Mama

Today was the DC Area Meet Up, which was great! I will do a real write up about it in a few days, but I'm exhausted and brain dead, so I will have to do it later. Thank you to all who came. Sorry it was so crazy at the zoo and that parking was such a mess. Next time, and there will be a next time, I'm thinking maybe we do just a mommy (and possibly daddy) get together for dinner or lunch and drinks. Something where we can sit down and actually talk to each other!

Friday, May 23, 2008

It's Not All Bad

Thanks everyone for your support. It really helps so much to just hear the sympathy and understanding (including an awesomely funny phone message from limboland la la!). This is a phase, and we will get through it, both at work and at home.

I am inspired by Cloud of Wandering Scientist (see last paragraph of this post). I am going to try to concentrate on the good and wonderful things that the Pumpkin is doing, as well as the things about work that I'm enjoying. So here are some good things that are going in my life.

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When the Pumpkin reaches for my glasses (which I wear only when my contacts aren't in), she now get a serious look on her face and says sharply "don", which is of course her imitating me saying "don't". Apparently I say that often when she reaches for my glasses. She obviously does not understand what that word means, because she still reaches for the glasses, tears them off my face and then says "eye" as she tries to poke her finger into my eyeball. (How does she know to do this everytime my hands are occupied with something else?)

Instead of getting mad at her coming close to breaking my glasses as she pulls on them, I find her serious face and sharp "don" extremely funny and I burst out laughing every time. Ah well. It's probably time for new glasses anyway.

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Londo is now taking one night a week to put the Pumpkin to bed. We made this agreement a while ago, but I think it's been hard for me to let go of this responsibility. For my sanity, I need to take the break at least one night a week, so I've just got to let go and let him do it. He gave her a bottle to bed last night, and I was able to actually spend that time doing something fun for me.

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Want to know what that something fun was? Yesterday, I finally bought the shelves I talked about a long time ago. I got the drawer base, the cabinet and the cubbies in honey. Last night, I moved the chair from the corner out of the room, set down the drawer base in the corner, and then I put together the cabinet and put it on top of the base. And then... I put away all of the Pumpkin's toys!!! And they all fit in just those, so I can use the cubbies for my cookbooks and other books! Now, instead of the toys overflowing in a corner of the room and a chair in another corner that was just a dumping place for jackets and crap, I've got a beautiful drawer and cabinet that store the Pumpkin's toys in the family room. I'm so happy about that.

And the new couch arrives on Tuesday! As for the other items for the room, I've had to redesign a bit based on the new financial situation. Will try and take pics next week after the couch is in and explain the set up I decided on.

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Did I mention how much I'm looking forward to the get together at the zoo this weekend?

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Having the nanny full time at our house has been working out really well. She is wonderful, and having her at our house has really eased my stress in the mornings. If I'm not ready by the time she gets to our house at 8:00, I can hand over the Pumpkin and finish getting ready on my own.

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A good friend and her daughter (who is a couple months older than the Pumpkin) is very likely going to come to the beach with us on vacation! We own the time share with my parents, so it will be my mom and dad there too. Family, friends, the beach and outlet shopping. Could it get any better???

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I got an award at work. It comes with money. I can now shop the outlets at the beach without feeling guilty. :-)

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I finished my May read for the TBR Challenge: Animals in Translation: Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior, By Temple Grandin and Catherine Johnson. It was really good, and I'm hoping to write up my review this weekend.

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The Pumpkin loves to "put things in." So she is picking up stuff from the floor or the alphabet magnets off the fridge and putting them into buckets. Now that I have a good place for her toys, I plan on transitioning her to "put things away." After that, it's only a short jump to dusting and mopping, right?

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So I've got that going for me, which is nice...

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Point Break

I'm really close to my breaking point. Things are just so stressful right now. Between to major deadlines at work (and the many little ones that lead up to those) and the lack of sleep (quality and quantity) at home, I'm close to the edge of what I can handle. I hate admitting that, but there it is.

Part of why I hate admitting it is because I really don't want advice from people about how I should lighten my load at work, how to get the baby to sleep or that I need to take a vacation. I know all of these things already. It's just not that easy. Although I could use some sympathy and empathy and understanding.

My IT work is cyclical, so this it is completely normal for me to be crazy busy at this point in the cycle. It's just that this time there are two deadlines, both on May 30th. So I'm going home for dinner, then putting the baby to bed, which has lately been taking 1.5 to sometimes 2 hours or more, then I continue to work until pretty late at night. So then when the baby wakes up a few hours later and it's my "shift" with the baby, I'm exhausted. We co-sleep in the nursery until morning, and once I got that pattern back and gave up the expectation that I'd be going back to sleep in my own bed*, this has gone much better.

I took the past two nights off from working. But last night, she got up about 2:10, and I went in to cosleep. Then, she woke up at 4:45, bright and cheery and ready for the day.

I am exhausted. I'm frustrated. I'm crying a lot more than is good for me. And I'm so angry. The anger just boils under the surface, and that's not good for anyone. What am I angry at? Life, I guess. Suffice to say, none of this has been good for my relationship with my husband on top of it all. Luckily, we are both trying to cut each other a lot of slack and get through this as best we can as a team.

The good thing I can say is that at least I don't have PPD on top of it all. Since I had it before, I know for sure that this isn't it. This is just stress and exhaustion, which is still no fun.

At this point, I'm just really looking forward to this weekend's meet up. And we are going on vacation to the beach May 31st, the day after my big deadlines. These are the highlights that I keep in mind when I feel that crack going up the side of me, getting closer and closer to breaking me in two.

*The Pumpkin does not do well in our bed, which keeps both Londo and I up, so it's been easier to just go sleep in the twin bed in her room. It actually works really well for Londo or I to co-sleep in there. Although still not good quality sleep for us, the Pumpkin is able to sleep pretty well.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

DC Area Meet Up THIS WEEKEND!!!

Updated with hair information in caps, by request.

Okay, is everybody as excited as I am for this weekend? I mean, I haven't been to the zoo in two months, so I'm really looking forward to seeing the avian house again...

JUST KIDDING! The zoo is nice and all, but I can't wait to meet all you fine people who are coming out from behind your computers to meet in person. And the weather is supposed to be pretty good: "Saturday: Sunny. Highs in the mid 70s."

So let's finalize the plan.

Schedule for May 24th Zoo Meet Up:
-11:00 Meet outside of the National Zoo Store in the Visitors Center between the Conneticut Ave entrance and the Lot A entrance.
-12:30 - 1:30 Lunch in the Mane Restaurant

How to know it's us:
-I'll be the short girl with long (HALFWAY DOWN MY BACK, BROWN) hair wearing a pink Redskins hat (and probably a pink zip-up over a black T-shirt--cause I'm cute and match like that). My 6'4" hubby will probably be with me, and we'll have a black and red stroller (the Pumpkin may or may not be in it). Also, it is likely my little girl will be in a sling or backpack on me.
-Also look for a group of people and kids with name tags.

Who will be there:
-Becoming Mommy
-liz
-DC Ranger
-chaser
-Sharina
-Anonymous (from original DC Area Meet Up post)
-meggiemoo
-wealhtheow
-hedra of Hands Full of Rocks
-Colleen of Wine Please
-Becky
-caramama of Cara Mama

Anything else? Questions? Comments? More people who want to join?

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Happy Birthday, Hubby!

Happy Birthday, to my husband, my soulmate, my everything. I know things have been stressful between your work, my work and our lack of sleep, but I hope you have a wonderful birthday.

I've been thinking back over the last 10 of your birthdays that I've gotten to share with you. Remember that first one in college when we got all decked out and I took you out to dinner at The Summit? How about the year that Star Wars Episode 1 came out on your birthday and we saw a midnight showing? I'm especially proud of the surprise party I threw you for your 30th birthday. And last year, the first one with your daughter.

I love you so much and am so thankful of all the birthdays that we've spent together.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Question of the Week - TV Mom/Dad

Let's get right to it... This week's question of the week is:

Which TV Mom or Dad are you?

I'd like to think I'm Clair Huxtable of The Cosby Show, but I don't have enough kids or experience to claim that yet. She is my role model, though, and has been since I watched the show every Thursday night growing up. She was a thoughtful and caring mom, and a successful working woman who was married to a very involved and loving husband. Hmmm... Maybe I am like Clair!

I think I might also be like Elyse Keaton from Family Ties, because of my hippy tendencies... But let's face it. Right now, with this lack of sleep, I'm feeling most like Lois on Malcolm in the Middle. hehe.

How about you?

(Can't think of one? Try checking out this site for moms and this one for dads.)