Thursday, November 27, 2008

These Green Beans Never Get Old

I'm writing this post as part of Tranny Head's Great Green Beans Giveaway. Tranny Head has come up with the euphemism of green beans for, well, sex and sexual acts (as best I can tell). She has challenged other bloggers to write about sex on this Thanksgiving--and she even wrote a post about it herself. Since I'm very thankful for the hot sex I have with Londo and since I do love a challenge, I'm spilling the green beans about my sex life! (Londo, I hope you aren't reading this. If you are, please don't kill me!)

Please note that I'm just not creative enough to use the term green beans to cover what I want to talk about, so I'm just going to come out and say what I mean. I think that Tranny Head, who is a person who calls it like she sees it, will be okay with that. Also, if you aren't reading Tranny Head at Law school sucks and so do lawyers, you should. She's extremely funny!


I started dating Londo 11 years ago this November (or December, depending on who you ask*). It's been less that 11 years since we starting having sex, but more than 10 years. So, we've been having sex together, with only each other, for over 10 years. That's a long time to be intimate in that way with just one other person... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

First of all, we've always had great sex. Really fantastic, actually. We seem to be very compatible in the bedroom in all ways. But in all these years, the sex has never gotten boring. It's never routine or old or bland. In over 10 years!

It boils down to the fact that we both know EXACTLY what gets the other person's blood burning. After all our years together, we know just the right move to make or way to kiss or whatever to send chills right down the other person's spine and send them over the edge. We know all the likes and dislikes of the other person, and we both want to please the other person even more than we want to please ourselves (which is a great combination, because we are both winners every time).

When I read or watch TV and see new couples having their first kiss or learning each others' bodies, I'm not jealous. In fact, I think, "I'm SO glad I don't have to go through that." I've heard other people talk about the thrill of discovery and the excitement of the new-ness. I'm sure it's wonderful for many people. But not me. I get thrills and excitement from my husband the minute he touches me and kisses me, because he knows exactly what I like, including how to read my ever changing moods.

Finally, I also believe that the comfort we have with each other is so freeing. I'm never nervous about how I look, because I know how sexy he finds me. If I'm not comfortable or not in the mood, I can just say that without feeling embarrassed. I'm never worried about suggesting something new, because he is open to new ideas. And yes, even after 10 years, there are new things. Not many, but a few. Hehe.

Even though the sex is fantastic, we have gone through periods with little to no sex (ahem*pregnancyandpostbaby*ahem). And that's okay too. We are completely committed to each other and care about how the other feels, so if I can't or if we are simply too tired, we don't feel guilty or bad. We are just understanding of where the other person is. And we know we will have great sex again, just not right then.

All that to say, sex with my husband simply hasn't gotten old. I don't think it ever will either. Green beans don't age well, like cheese or wine, which is why a metaphor wouldn't have worked in my post. But unlike 10-year-old green beans, the sex I have with Londo is as great as it was 10 years ago... probably even better!

*Londo and I have an 11 year disagreement about the date, but I still maintain that if I thought we were just going out as friends and we didn't even kiss, then it does not count as our first real date!

Happy Thanksgiving! And Happy Blogiversary to Me!

Thanksgiving a year ago, I wrote my first post on the Cara Mama blog (which was also my first blog post ever). So in theory, today is my one year blogiversary! Except that last year, Thanksgiving was apparently on November 22. I can't believe I missed the actual anniversary, but I really think of it as Thanksgiving. So we will just pretend I didn't miss it and that it is today, m'kay?

I am so thankful for the blogosphere, specifically the parenting blogs. I'm thankful for the whole community of wonderful moms and dads out there who share the wonders and the hardships of raising children, being parents and struggling with relationships of all sorts. I'm thankful for the ability to share my own, and for my real life and internet friends who read, comment, and chat with me about life. I'm very thankful for my beautiful daughter, wonderful husband, sweet dog and cat, and my family and in laws. I am very blessed.

Stop back later tonight when I will spill the green beans about my sex life, for which I'm extremely thankful! I'm writing that post as part of Tranny Head's Great Green Beans Giveaway--hey, any excuse to brag!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

DC Area Cookie Swap?

Apparently the Burgh Bloggers did a cookie swap. I am not above blantently stealing that idea from them. Do the DC Area bloggers/commenters/readers want to get together and do a Cookie Swap? We could meet up at my house, bring lots of cookies and hang out. With or without kids and spouses? Let me know, cause if we do, it probably has to be in the first half of December so we all have our cookies in time for the holidays!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Vacation Highlights

Besides the lovely weather, there were a lot of great things about my vacation. Most of them (maybe all) directly related to my adventurous and active toddler. Here are a few:

- We were on the second floor of the hotel and took the elevator up and down multiple times a day. The Pumpkin called it the "elegator," which I truly hope she did not confuse with alligators. I do not want her to walk into their open mouths! Also, she loved to push the buttons for the elegator, and she was really good about only pushing the one we pointed to.

- I'm happy to report that so far the Pumpkin is a happy beach girl. This would be the third trip to the beach in her life, and each time has gone well. This time was especially good, because she is old enough to really enjoy it. She digs in the sand, she laughs as the surf hits her feet, she tries to go into the water farther (holding my hand at all times near the water), she picks up handfuls of wet sand and looks for shells, and she sits in the water left behind by the receeding tide and plays with her buckets and shovels. Also, she got a kick out of stomping in the water when I sang "If you're happy and you know it stomp your feet."

- The place where we stayed was really a resort area. This meant that things were expensive, but they were also very nice. (Thank goodness for the Hilton points my parents had saved up!) The Pumpkin did well at the couple of nice restaurants we went to, and I enjoyed some good meals.

- The plane rides went really well. I'm really glad that she did so well. Minimum fussing and no real screaming. All the tricks everyone told me really helped.

- I discovered that sometimes, when the Pumpkin can't reach my hair (like in her carseat on the plane), she will settle for the hair of a My Little Pony. But if my hair is at all an option, she still wants it during every bottle, when falling asleep and when she needs comfort. My hair is getting really sensitive to all the tugging and twisting. I'm hoping she will start going for the My Little Pony more and more.

- We are now on cold bottles and lying down in bed to fall alseep with the bottle for both naps and bedtime. These were just easier on vacation, and really it's time to start transitioning. I don't think Londo was ready for it, but I feel like it's probably past time and she seems to be handling it well.

- My parents got to spent a lot of quality time with the Pumpkin and really see how much personality she has now! Also, she is talking even more than she was the previous week, with new concepts and whole sentences. My parents are amazed and really enjoyed her.

I'm sure there are more, but that's all I've got for now. It really was a great vacation. It's hard to come back, but at least it's a short week.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Question of the Week - Doing It All For My Baby

I'm back from Florida, and I had an excellent time. It's hard to believe that I was sitting on the beach just three days ago enjoying the sun, sand and surf. Now, I have to bundle in my thick coat, scarf and gloves to be outside. Sigh...

Not only was Florida beautiful and (mostly*) warm, but I got to spend a lot of bonding time with my daughter. A lot of time. My parents did help me out and give me quite a few breaks, but it's just not the same as having my partner with me to share the childcare. Don't get me wrong, my parents were really great. They were flexible, helpful, patient, fun and entertaining. But for the entire week, I gave her all her bottles, changed all her diapers, put her down for every nap and every bedtime, coslept with her every night (most nights from 11:30 on, and she tossed and turned and kicked and flailed all night), gave her every bath, fed her every meal and ensured her well-being and routine (as much as possible while on vacation). My super active toddler is a handful.

I knew the deal when I insisted I bring her with me even though Londo couldn't come and offered to keep her home with him to give me a real vacation from everything. I was prepared to take on all the childcare. I am not complaining. In fact, it was really neat to be the go-to parent for everything. We really did bond and have a great time together. I can even see the enjoyment of being a stay at home parent, because it is fun and really nice to spend so much time with the kiddo.

This week's question of the week is a two-parter because I didn't do one last week:

What is the hardest part to you of being the sole parent for a period of time? And what is your favorite part of being the sole parent for a period of time?

To me, the hardest part is--I'm trying to find the right words for this--the constant expenditure of energy. By that I mean that there is no long period of break, not even overnight. Especially overnight. I was so tired from the restless nights sleeping with my child who doesn't stop moving even at night that I took a nap on the couch when she napped and did not stay up late any night. This meant that I did not get any long period of time to just be by myself without her. Apparently, I'm more introverted than I suspected, because my energy was constantly drained without the time to recharge alone. Luckily, being in sunny Florida helped my energy a lot, and so did the naps.

My favorite part is the way she looks to me for everything she needs, whether it be a change in diaper (she will not sit or move when she poops in her diaper until she is changed) or comfort from a fall. Sure, she would ask for my parents and sometimes want them over me, but when it came down to a real need, it was "Mommy. Mommy. Mommy." And that was nice and sweet and a really great bonding experience. At least for the week, because if it continued longer... Well, see the previous paragraph about time to recharge. ;-)

How about you? Have you had to be the sole parent for a period of time? Love it? Hate it? Why?

*We did have a cold front for the first part of the week, where it did get down to 65 degrees and really very windy! Meanwhile, up in the DC area, it was in the low 30s and there were snow flurries. So I'm not complaining about the 65 degrees...