Friday, April 3, 2009

Leaving the Pumpkin Behind

Londo and I are in Atlanta, GA. We've come down for one of Londo's best friend's wedding, and Londo is the best man. I've bought a couple maternity dresses for the rehearsal dinner and the wedding (they are really cute!), we have a house sitter, we planned a two-day drive down staying overnight at the inlaws, and we have let the Pumpkin stay with the inlaws.

On the one hand, this is a really nice getaway for Londo and me. I love weddings, I love hotels, and I really love Georgia. Most of all, I love spending time and going on trips with my husband. We are having a lot of great time together. It's nice to reconnect and have one-on-one time, especially before the boy comes and our lives are twice as hectic, with our time together going down to less than zero.

But on the other hand, I miss my little girl soooooooo much! We left my sweet little Pumpkin in good, loving hands yesterday morning. We will pick her up on Sunday. It's one thing when I leave and Londo stays behind. It's even another when we left her at my parents house and went away for a short couple of days. But it's different to drive her 5 hours to my inlaws, stay the night with her, then leave her the next morning. Leave her behind without my husband. Leave her at my inlaws who do not have the house childproof, let alone Pumpkin-proofed! Leave her behind in a place that she's only been a handful of times, even though she's really had a great time there every visit. Even though she's seen a lot of her grandparents, uncle, aunt and nephew. She really does love spending time with them.

It's always hard to leave her. I suppose it always will be. I don't know why I feel like this time is even harder--although the reasons I listed above are probably part of it. My mom is actually more cautious than I am, and she worries about everything. I know exactly how she will care for my child, because she raised me and watched my daughter for the first year of her life. My inlaws are wonderful, but there are more unknowns for me.

To top it all off, the look she gave me as I was leaving my inlaws... It was unlike any look I've gotten from her before. It was heartbreaking! I'm not even sure how to describe it. It was as if she couldn't believe we were really leaving her. It was as if she was crushed that we were walking out the door and really going to be gone for a few days, as we had told her and talked to her about. So forlorn. Lip trembling. A stab to my heart!

We've talked to the inlaws a few times since leaving, and of course she is doing great. She's having a lot of fun, eating well, not napping (which is becoming the norm lately), sleeping well and cuddling up with her relatives. I know she's fine. But it's still hard to leave her.

However, it is really nice to spend time alone with my husband. I'm trying to focus on that, which isn't hard most of the time.

7 comments:

Cloud said...

The Pumpkin is doing fine, of course. Some time I should send you the video my parents took literally 5 minutes after Hubby and I left to wails of despair for a weekend away. She was giggling and screeching with joy and doing a little jig with two toys in her hands.

Don't worry about the childproofing. Your girl is more aware of the rules than you realize. I'm always amazed by how well our Pumpkin does when she is in a non-childproofed place. Your in-laws will watch her carefully.

And think how nice it will be to get her hugs and kisses when you pick her up!

Heather said...

It's so nice for you and Londo to get a little one on one time especially since life is about to get a lot more hectic! I can't even imagine how hard leaving Pumpkin was for you. I've never even spent a night apart from Courtney (sad,huh)!

Shellie said...

Oh boy do I get those polar emotional flip flops!

paola said...

I spent a night away from my two last year (Zoe was 15 months old, Noah 3.5) and the moment I walked in the door, Noah greeted me with hugs and kisses, Zoe ignored me completely. I was really hurt. I couldn't wait to see her and she carried on doing what she had been doing. I suspect this behaviour was conscious, if not intentional. I'm sure Pumpkin will be thrilled to see you though. 2 year olds understand a hellova lot more than 15 month olds.

Enjoy the wedding.

Anonymous said...

Aww. We haven't done this yet for longer than a day (I've left for a weekend but not both of us) but I'm sure we'll do it eventually.

It's probably good to truly be relieved of mommy duties for a little while. Hope you are enjoying your trip!

Don Mills Diva said...

I hope you had a fantastic time!

KG said...

I hope you enjoyed/are enjoying your time with your hubby. I've only left my kid once and it was miserable for me. He? Didn't seem to mind too much. Oh well.

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