Friday, January 30, 2009

It's A...


Of course we would have been happy either way. I am very close with my sister, and the idea of having sisters is very appealing to me (although I'm also close with my brother, it's just not the same relationship). But it's a nice idea to have a boy and a girl. One of each.

Because, I'm pretty sure I'm done! We won't do any permanent (or semi-permanent) for another four or five years, just in case we do change our minds. I have always thought I wanted three kids... at least before I had any. In another four or five years, I may think I can handle it again. So we'll wait and see, but for now, I'm done!

I will soon post a draft I've been writing about the hardships of pregnancy (to me). I'm sure I've stated before that I don't really enjoy being pregnant. As Londo puts it, it's a means to an end. The point for us was never to be pregnant or even to have a baby. The point was to have a child, to have children.

But in this post let me tell you all a few of the good, exciting things about being pregnant. Because there are good things, even things I enjoy.

Two weeks ago (from today exactly), I felt the baby move for the first time (that I was sure of). I was sitting at my desk at work, feeling uncomfortable due to having chili for lunch, and then I suddenly felt this pushing out of my stomach from the inside. I thought, "That was weird... wait a minute! I know what that was! The baby moved!" I really enjoy feeling the baby move inside me. It's totally something out of Alien, but it's still my baby moving around. And only I know about it, unless I tell someone else (which I often do!).

And last weekend, while snugged in a hotel bed, Londo felt the baby move while his hand was on my stomach. So that's pretty cool. Now he'll be able to enjoy our little boy moving around also.

Another good thing is the 20-week ultrasound. Not only did we get to find out that the baby is a boy, but we got to see the ridges of his spine, the hemispheres of his brain, his arms and hands, his legs and feet and even toes, his heart, his kidneys, his stomach, and his face. It was a regular ultrasound, but Londo and I are pretty good at seeing what is there in the black and white image. This little boy had his hands up to his face and was even sucking his thumb! We got a couple of amazing pictures of that, and they were so perfect, they look like something out of a movie. He also spread his legs wide and gave the perfect view of his boy parts, so there is no doubt he's a boy.

The best part about this whole pregnancy thing (to me) is that I know I'm growing a life inside me. Sure I joke and call it a parasite, but I know it's my and Londo's child. Our son. And he is growing and thriving. Even if I feel like crap, he seems to be doing fine. And that is the most amazing thing. It's my super hero power--I can grow life inside me!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Our (Sort of) "Babymoon"

Before the Pumpkin was born, I had heard of people taking "babymoons," which were supposed to be like honeymoons except for before a baby comes. Londo and I didn't see the need for this prior to the Pumpkin. After all, we'd had over 9 years together before the Pumpkin was born. I'm very happy to say that we had kept the romance alive all those years, even during the 2 plus years of trying to conceive and the fertility treatments. In addition, after our miscarriage and prior to restarting the fertility treatments (with which we got pregnant with the Pumpkin), we took a Carribean cruise together because we needed to get away and have a vacation together. So there was really no need for a "babymoon."

This time, however, things are different. Londo and I are constantly exhausted from the months-long sleep regressions that the Pumpkin goes through. We are really busy with work, and (here's an understatement) winter is not my best time of year. We have too much to do, and not enough time together. Top it all off with another baby on its way, and we needed an adult getaway!!!

So this last weekend, we went to Atlantic City with another couple who are good friends of ours, and another couple drove over to hang out and stayed Saturday night. I will admit that we knew going away it wouldn't be a true "babymoon" in the sense of a romantic getaway for two. But we left the Pumpkin (and dog) with my parents, and we spent time with other adults and each other. Londo got to play poker, and I got to go to the spa and get a much needed massage.

And the best part of all? Londo and I got to sleep in a bed together just the two of us (no toddler, dog or cat!!!) and cuddle and be close and sleep through the night!

It wasn't a perfect "babymoon" or even romantic weekend. I was still pregnant and tired and achy, and Londo was still destressing and spending guy time with his buddies. But neither of us even brought a computer or work with us. We didn't have to chase any toddler or deal with nighttime fussiness. We spent a weekend with just adults. It was really what we needed before this next baby comes!

And we're going to a wedding down in Atlanta in April, just the two of us! We are leaving the Pumpkin with my MIL and FIL. I will be really pregnant at that point, so we'll see how much fun I can be. But it will be April and I'll have more energy. And it will be another adult getaway before our lives become even more chaotic.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Question of the Week - Different Personalities

Update below

First, I'm so excited to announce that one of Londo's and my friends IRL has had her baby about two weeks ago! (I know I'm super late announcing, but I've just not had a good memory lately.) After a difficult pregnancy, which included an extended hospital bedrest, she had Alexandra ("Lexie") at almost 31 weeks. She says Lexie is doing well in the NICU, and I hope she is able to go home with her parents soon.


I'm having so much trouble writing lately. The thing about my SAD that is one of the hardest for me to deal with is that I really lose my creativity and decision-making abilities. There is all sorts of things going on that I would like to write down, but I can't seem to get it out. Both because I don't feel creative enough and because I can't decide what to write or how to write it. Instead, I just don't write more or write only when I force myself (like now).

February is going to be tough for me. March will not be easy. By April, I will start feeling like myself again. But until then, I feel like I have someone else's personality come over me. I've half-joked with Londo that if I took a personality test in the summer and another in the winter, I would have two completely different sets of answers and corresponding personalities.

I've taken Myers-Briggs a few times, many years ago, but I think it pretty accurately reflects my core personality. I'm an ENFP, with the "E" close to the middle. I really believe that in the winter I'm much more introverted than in the summer.

This week's question of the week is:
How would you classify your personality? And does anything cause it to change?

In general, I classify myself as outgoing, friendly, creative, caring, empathetic, smart and fun (notice that modest is not on this list). With the low energy levels I get in the winter, many of those traits are seriously muted. But I don't think my core personality truly changes... much.

What about you? Tell me about yourself...

Paola makes an excellent point... I didn't put in my negative qualities, of which I may have a few. I'm stubborn, moody and often speak too freely and abruptly. Luckily for my husband, these traits also seem muted during the winter, except the moodiness.