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Showing posts from May 23, 2010

Deals and Timing for My Spirited Girl

Two things about my daughter that I always try to keep in mind when she's not doing what she's supposed to or I want her to do and/or I'm getting frustrated with her:
1. She takes in EVERYTHING, even if she doesn't respond right away.
2. She does NOT like to be backed into a metaphorical corner or feeling like she's being forced to do something.

Having read and really identified with the Raising Your Spirited Child book, I paid special attention to the section about negotiations or getting to "yes" (I can't recall right now if that term was in this book or another, but I do know that the idea of it was in this book). You see, with my child you cannot expect that she will do what you tell her to do just because you told her to do it. I don't care who you are or what method you try in order to force her to do it. If she doesn't want to do something, she will. not. do. it!

Instead, I've spent a lot of time coming up on ways to get my girl on bo…

Question of the Week - Who Ya Gonna Call?

The other week, I read this really interesting article about how hearing mom's voice can reduce the stress hormone (cortisol) and increase the bonding hormone (oxytocin), which is usually brought out by touch (this isn't the article I originally read, but it is a really good write-up about the research). The study was done on 61 girls, agest 7 to 12, who performed in a stressful situation. One group of girls got physical contact with their moms, another talked to their moms over the phone and the final group watched a neutral movie. At the end a set period of time, they tested the girls' cortisol levels and oxytocin levels. (There was a bit more too it, but that is the gist.)

The girls who had physical contact had the most quickly reduced levels of cortisol and a significant increase in oxytocin. The girls who talked to their moms over the phone had the same amount of cortisol, although it reduced more slowly, and the same increase in oxytocin. The girls who didn't hav…