tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post6652713524052650898..comments2023-08-29T11:48:24.933-04:00Comments on Cara Mama™: When You've Had a Runnercaramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-45668786435101176102011-07-22T09:14:00.863-04:002011-07-22T09:14:00.863-04:00You are not alone! Though again we adapt to our ow...You are not alone! Though again we adapt to our own children. Matthew always has to hold hands crossing the street or in parking lots. But in most other situations he has a large degree of freedom. This is because he has always proven to be trustworthy. He runs to end of the street and waits. Despite being strong willed and defiant in many areas he has been caution and listened about safety, his sister on the other hand thinks if he can do it she can, head first :) <br />For me when I let him run and when I don't comes down to trusting the other cars. If I feel like he is safe from other cars run, but in places where I know I can't trust the cars... hand holding!sheSaidC2https://www.blogger.com/profile/04054588577501686379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-51645422512026115822011-07-16T14:39:06.076-04:002011-07-16T14:39:06.076-04:00Oh, yes. Very difficult is having one who is 4 an...Oh, yes. Very difficult is having one who is 4 and trustworthy and one who is 2 and a runner. Then there is the combination of big brother having more freedom because of both age and personality. When I started with the boys (I'm the nanny) big brother ran from me once or twice and that was the end of the outing for the day. If he ran we went straight home. Period. He is a child who needs to know the limits and will push to see if you will hold them, but once he knows you have boundaries he can be depended upon safely. He also has a healthy dose of caution in his personality. Little brother will walk straight into traffic with no fear. For him gates are there to be opened, doors exist to unlock, and boundaries are optional. We are starting the freeze game, but I anticipate a long road.Samanthahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15162199606970856005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-7784010930581832862011-07-14T20:58:33.238-04:002011-07-14T20:58:33.238-04:00I did wonder about the distance at first, but comp...I did wonder about the distance at first, but completely understood once you explained. <br /><br />Dorothy, for all her challenges, is really good in parking lots and streets. It took one incident of her almost getting hit to scare her of cars, and now she reminds me that she needs to hold my hand. She loves to run, but for some reason, listens to me when we are out and about. Now if she would only do that at IN the house!<br /><br />I think the big difference between Dorothy and Pumpkin in this circumstance is how they experience the world. Dorothy is hyper aware and (over)reacts quickly. Pumpkin is also hyper aware, but takes her time in responding to the stimulus around her. Would you say that is accurate?MommyEmnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-19457317667313217722011-07-13T17:18:54.538-04:002011-07-13T17:18:54.538-04:00@hush - Yeah, you get it.
@Katie - Ah, the testin...@hush - Yeah, you get it.<br /><br />@Katie - Ah, the testing limits. It's always so fun. And good point about carrying the kiddo. If the Pumpkin (and now the Pookie) doesn't want to hold an adult's hand, we will carry them. Kicking and screaming if necessary.<br /><br />@Dr. Confused - I love your comment! Thanks for providing the flip side of this issue. It really does boil down to adapting to your particular children, doesn't it? That and not judging other parents since their children might have very different traits!<br /><br />@mom2boy - Invincible would be tough. And urban streets are definitely different from the low-traffic, suburban neighborhood street I live on.<br /><br />@Bisbink - Glad to know I'm not alone! Plus it's a great excuse to get to hold his hand, right?<br /><br />@Cloud - Great point about being tall enough to register in a rear view mirror! Sometimes people back out of parking spots so fast!<br /><br />@Ruta - Fascinating look into why you guys have different reactions to this. No doubt how we were raised, where and what the rules were, play an important part into all sorts of aspects of raising our own kids.<br /><br />@Becoming Mommy - Having had a Runner, I will never ever make fun of "kid leashes." And we are the same way with having some random seeming rules, which have all been created for a reason.<br /><br />@Meghan - I got the idea of saying "freeze" from an episode of Supernanny. A woman had three kids, and one would run off and she couldn't chase him because she had the baby in the stroller. The Supernanny told them to use a word (stop) that meant he had to stop exactly when said no matter what. If he doesn't, he lost the priveledge of walking on his own. So we implemented the same, and if she doesn't stop when we say "freeze," she doesn't get to run, has to hold our hand, has to be carried or has to keep a hand on the stroller or shopping cart. After consistently applying it (and spending a while with her super glued to my side, she finally started listening and freezing. But sometimes she still forgets!caramamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-32597932611077798672011-07-13T15:53:27.709-04:002011-07-13T15:53:27.709-04:00Worry not, I hold my (almost) 4-year-old daughter&...Worry not, I hold my (almost) 4-year-old daughter's hand in the same situations. Or she has to hold on to the stroller or shopping cart. She's not a Runner, but she pays zero attention to cars. Better safe than sorry!<br />My 2-year-old son, however, is a menace! The very definition of a Runner. And he won't stop when I call anything! "Freeze", "Stop", "Red light!"... and he's crazy fast. So I basically keep him superglued to my side.Meghannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-52851493068025321722011-07-13T14:31:43.412-04:002011-07-13T14:31:43.412-04:00You are not alone. We make Sasha hold our hand in...You are not alone. We make Sasha hold our hand in the street at all times. He ran off into the street as recently as 6 months ago.<br />He was also a runner and was the reason we ran out and bought several 'kid leashes' when he became a good walker (one for each car and one for the childcare). <br />I have rules about where and when he can run some parents think are stupid (to include no running in socks) but have each been created for a reason.Becoming Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16196365719272632077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-11639552138896486242011-07-13T12:58:02.224-04:002011-07-13T12:58:02.224-04:00My daughter is 5 and, while not having the early g...My daughter is 5 and, while not having the early gross motor skills, has some runner-like tendencies. One of the biggest points of friction between me and my husband lately is the hand-holding issue...I think that every time she hits asphalt, DD should be holding an adult hand. He is slower to grab her hand in a parking lot or across the street...drives me bonkers! After stewing about it and me snapping at him, we finally had a discussion about why it was such a big deal to me and not to him. <br /><br />Turns out, for us it's a city thing. I was raised in NYC, he was reared in rural TX and suburban NC. I had the fear of god put in me about running off, crossing the street by myself (esp at that age), etc. He had alot of freedom early, and it just doesn't occur to him to snag her hand with any sense of urgency. He's resolved to be more vigilant, while I've resolved to assess the risk a little more realistically (while screaming inside, of course :)<br /><br />Gosh, I apparently have something to say about this topic! :)Rutahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06564887139842031309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-14082360896442656262011-07-13T11:14:34.214-04:002011-07-13T11:14:34.214-04:00My 4 year old has to hold an adult's hand to c...My 4 year old has to hold an adult's hand to cross the street or walk across a parking lot. I figure that keeps her close to someone who is tall enough to register in the rear view mirror of anyone backing out, etc.<br /><br />She wasn't as much of a runner as your Pumpkin. We were lucky in that regard, I guess!Cloudhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09317847285050447789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-42037021305573506702011-07-13T09:02:20.426-04:002011-07-13T09:02:20.426-04:00I am right there with you on this topic. We alway...I am right there with you on this topic. We always hold the Main Man's hand when crossing any roads or in any parking lot. It's always better to be safe than sorry.Bisbinknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-67478863174319113862011-07-13T06:04:22.466-04:002011-07-13T06:04:22.466-04:00I don't think Tate was a Runner but he thinks ...I don't think Tate was a Runner but he thinks he's invincible - maybe from not enough running but I hardly think being smooshed by a car is a good life lesson so, yeah, I hold his hand when we cross a street or in a parking lot. He can walk by himself on sidewalks (unless there is heavy pedestrian traffic) but we continually talk about sidewalk safety. We are urban not suburban so sidewalks have real traffic, stop light intersections, etc. Although in reality he's more likely to be begging to be carried than running off. <br />Anyway, he's not even four yet and I think it's perfectly reasonable that I make him hold hands with me in certain circumstances. And god, no, I don't let him out of my sight when we are out in public. Him disappearing is top on my list of Horrible Things.mom2boyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00784436196685595115noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-25169582708848243582011-07-13T04:28:37.352-04:002011-07-13T04:28:37.352-04:00This is fascinating, because our family is so diff...This is fascinating, because our family is so different from yours on this issue. But I think you have it pegged exactly right: we adapt to our particular children.<br /><br />We let our 3 1/2 year old wander quite far from us in certain situations. The other day in the park (no roads, no water, just grass and paths as far as one could see) she was far enough that strangers looked around for her parents and didn't leave her until I waved at them. In other situations, I mentally measure the distance from her to the nearest road, and from me to her, and as long as I feel I can overtake her before she gets there, I am happy for her to wander. We don't hold hands on sidewalks (she hates holding hands) unless it is absolutely clogged with people. Her father has recently started letting her cross the road without holding hands, as long as she stops on the curb and checks for traffic first, and then stays close to him. We don't drive, so don't spend much time in parking lots, but there I do insist on holding hands, as parking lots can have quite unpredictable traffic patterns.<br /><br />But here's the thing: in this particular domain, she is absolutely trustworthy. I let her run ahead of me on the sidewalk with the understanding that she will stop on the curb, and she has never failed to live up to that agreement. Even at 18 months she never tried to run from the sidewalk to the road. At that age she would occasionally run out the exits of parks and whatnot, at which point I would catch her, but she didn't seem interested in going towards the road.<br /><br />The one thing about this is that I occasionally feel judged by strangers on this. They see a kid a couple hundred feet away from a parent and they feel like they have to stop and deal with her, when I know she's fine and I have an eye on her. Or they see a three-year-old careening wildly along the sidewalk towards a road, and feel obliged to stop her, even though I know she will stop exactly where we have agreed. I can understand the instinct: THEY don't know my kid; they don't know how easy she is on this one, and they're watching out for the general safety of kids, which is great. But then when they figure out which one is the parent, they look at me like I'm crazy. Which maybe I am.<br /><br />Anyway, sorry about the long comment which is really just there to agree with you.Dr. Confusednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-79967547227947200532011-07-12T23:20:04.712-04:002011-07-12T23:20:04.712-04:00L isn't precisely a runner in the sense that P...L isn't precisely a runner in the sense that Pumpkin is, but she will take off, testing our limits without regard for her surroundings, if not checked. So she must hold our hand (or be carried) on asphalt.<br /><br />E seems like she's gonna be a runner/climber/cause of many, many gray hairs. ;)Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00608429155677312762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-14896921418327637722011-07-12T22:33:03.963-04:002011-07-12T22:33:03.963-04:00I've had a Runner, so I Get It Completely!
&...I've had a Runner, so I Get It Completely! <br /><br />"Having had a runner, I have been irrevocably changed. It has become ingrained to worry about my child near a road or in a store or near a steep hill with a busy road..." AMEN, sister!hushhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05532820460835325762noreply@blogger.com