tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83722524275724281942024-02-18T21:05:19.338-05:00Cara Mama™Mama mia! Life with two middle school-aged kids is tough! But beautiful shining moments between the times of frustrations make it absolutely worth it!caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.comBlogger689125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-57720559425836597102020-09-15T22:17:00.000-04:002020-09-15T22:17:13.496-04:00Learning I Have Hypertension<p>This past winter, I discovered I have developed high blood pressure. This came as a surprise for me, since I generally had always had blood pressure on the lower side of normal and since I don't really have the <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/bloodpressure/risk_factors.htm" target="_blank">risk factors</a> except for age and family history. </p><p>For totally unrelated reasons, I had been taking a medicine for about two years that can be used to treat high blood pressure, and I went off of the medicine this past fall. Then, at a random gynecologist appointment, a nurse took my blood pressure at the beginning of the appointment and said, "That can't be right..." She went to my other arm and took it again. But that didn't help. </p><p>My blood pressure was reading 164/110. </p><p>When the doctor came in, she said that it wasn't rush-me-to-the-hospital high (although, I now realize it was close to that) and that this was just one point of data on one day. I needed to gather more data points and see my primary care physician. </p><p>We got a blood pressure monitor for home so I could take my blood pressure at different times and gather more data points. Which I did, and I was averaging 159 over 103. <a href="https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/high-blood-pressure/understanding-blood-pressure-readings" target="_blank">Really not good</a>. In fact, that put me quite firmly in Stage 2 of Hypertension.</p><p>I made an appointment with my doctor and brought in my data points. I talked with her about how I went off of this other medicine, and she explained that going off the medicine couldn't <i>cause</i> high blood pressure, however it could have been masking what otherwise would have been a steady rise in blood pressure. That is why my numbers were suddenly so high after going off of the medicine. </p><p>So my primary care physician told me to see a cardiologist as soon as I could, and handed me a prescription which she said to start taking IMMEDIATELY.</p><p>As soon as I started on the medicine, my blood pressure lowered to average 131 over 84. I started being more careful of what I ate, and I continued my regular exercising. And I made an appointment with a cardiologist.</p><p>The cardiologist said that she thinks the hypertension is because of my family history and that I'm "at an age" when this can kick in. Sigh... 40s... </p><p>She believes it is just "garden variety" hypertension that I can control with the low dose of medicine I had started, diet, and exercise. Luckily, I don't have any damage to my heart because we caught it early enough. She told me to take my blood pressure twice a day and use an app to track it. </p><p>And she handed me a printout with her recommended diet and forbidden foods (so many forbidden foods!!!), although she let me know that I had a little more leeway than say a person recovering from a heart attack. She said to lower my sodium intake and eat potassium-rich foods. </p><p>And then, of course, I did research to figure out what I could eat and to find recipes. I highly recommend the DASH (Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension) diet/eating plan, and I heavily leaned on the <a href="https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health-topics/dash-eating-plan" target="_blank">NHLBI website</a> and even printed out copies of the information linked in the Getting Started with Dash Eating Plan section for myself and my dad (from whom I get the family history of hypertension).</p><p>So I've reduced my intake of sodium, sugar, red meat, non-whole grain carbs, and overall calories. I am pretty much eating vegetables, beans, some whole wheat grains, plain yogurt with fruit, fish, and chicken for every meal. Basically, I cook my own meals while Londo makes dinner for him and the kids, because there is no chance the kids are going to eat a plate of veggies and beans. And I still can enjoy some chips or candy on a rare occasion. </p><p>On the bright side, I lost 20 pounds since I started this diet and my blood pressure is back in the normal range. And I discovered that I love beans! </p>Cara Miahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18446592277063553890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-6423330910031943532020-09-02T21:15:00.003-04:002020-09-02T21:15:35.523-04:00Virtual Lunches with School Friends<p>Today was Day 3 of virtual school. I'm happy to say that it seems to be going well so far. Whew! </p><p>My kids are both in middle school now, so they have similar schedules, which are generally like this: </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Mondays - Live virtual classes for periods 1 - 4</li><li>Tuesdays - Live virtual classes for periods 5 - 8</li><li>Wednesdays - Independent study all day, with optional check-ins for every period</li><li>Thursdays - Live virtual classes for periods 1 - 4</li><li>Fridays - Live virtual classes for periods 5 - 8</li></ul><div><br /></div><div>As it is the first week of school, everyone is still adjusting. And the truth is, the mental adjustment is probably the hardest part at this point. My kids have been grumpy and moody. No more hanging out all morning, playing video games for lengthy amounts of time, watching TV, not getting dresses... No more summer break!</div><div><br /></div><div>We all know the best part about going back to school is seeing your friends. This year, they don't even get to really do that, at least in person. So they have to give up the freedoms they get during summer break, adjust to this new way of "going" to school virtually, start doing school work, and they don't even get to chat with friends in hallways, classes, and the cafeteria! </div><div><br /></div><div>Yesterday, the Pookie's best friend's mom messaged me and two other moms about letting this group of friends together for a virtual lunch today. Since Wednesday is for independent study and they weren't on video meetings/classes all day, it was the perfect day to let them get online together to eat lunch and play around. What a great idea! We all agreed and finalized the plan this morning. </div><div><br /></div><div>The boys had a great time! At one point, one of the other moms messaged the rest of us saying she just heard the best laugh from her son! We all agreed that it went well, and we plan to let them do it every Wednesday. They may not be in a cafeteria together, but they can at least get on a video call and have lunch and a good time playing around together. </div><div><br /></div><div>When the Pumpkin heard that her brother was doing a lunch with friends, she asked if she could, also. She has been communicating with her friends pretty regularly--probably even daily, either through messaging or video calls. But this was different, because it is really about finding a way to replace the cafeteria school lunchtimes. Of course I said she could, and her friends were able to also. And of course they had a great time. I told her she should do it every Wednesday. </div><div><br /></div><div>So what if they are technically getting more screen time by being on laptops/phones with video calls. So what if they are eating their sandwiches while sitting on the floors of their rooms and not in chairs at a table. So what if one of our dogs ate the sandwich crusts when one of the kids left the bedroom door open after lunch. They are getting a workable substitution for an important part of the school experience. </div><div><br /></div><div>Side benefit: They make their own lunches, so I don't have to pack lunchboxes and make sure they remember them, nor do do I need to clean them out after spending hours in backpacks and lockers!</div><p></p>Cara Miahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18446592277063553890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-1854789517550758372020-08-30T21:52:00.002-04:002020-09-02T21:16:32.240-04:00Ready for Virtual School<p>Tomorrow is the first day of school for the 2020-2021 school year. My school district originally developed plans for both a hybrid approach of in-person and virtual learning, but mid- to late-summer the numbers were still not looking good and there were too many concerns and unknowns, so they decided to plan for everyone to be virtual at least for the first semester. In either case, we were going to keep the kids home to go to school virtually. </p><p>In order to set up the kids for this, Londo and I talked with them to figure out where they feel most comfortable "going to school" virtually and have set them up with the technology, materials, and space we think they will need. We are planning to support them and the teachers, try to help them stay organized and on task, and guide them with technology and work. </p><p>The Pumpkin is starting 8th grade. She worked with me to come up with a compromise so she could work at the dining room table in way that doesn't completely take over the household space. She is staying at one end of the table, using a mat to protect the table, keeping her supplies in an organizer box, and putting papers in clear filing trays. I even set her up a white board/bulletin board propped next to her. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUT_OGJEaMOZXOArJnqfXLTcuIkGHHvIIW8jh_rDLCLbu7gEpPrLHyZUMY_HcRBG3DZKUYSScVIarAJNLp0mzVjitDeUnch3ldvpKd2dd1KHljNQsuBUpPVRz0LjbFsOP13Hm3Qefg9ugN/s2048/Cdesk-blurred.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUT_OGJEaMOZXOArJnqfXLTcuIkGHHvIIW8jh_rDLCLbu7gEpPrLHyZUMY_HcRBG3DZKUYSScVIarAJNLp0mzVjitDeUnch3ldvpKd2dd1KHljNQsuBUpPVRz0LjbFsOP13Hm3Qefg9ugN/w410-h307/Cdesk-blurred.jpg" width="410" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>The Pookie is starting 6th grade--starting middle school! He likes working at the desk in his room, and we've cleared off space and put what he needs handy on the desk and in the drawers. He also have an organizer to write down assignments, a binder and folders for papers, and his desk has a bulletin board with his schedule pinned to it.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9v87-MVwTPtP_MLLiNYz7sqVNXNxa9_7l_pyOO8DlR6mYUtXYiOdc5KehHGFr5EXDwIFlfHK_M0TiZlugYmWrTpRbh56nhMUxJOgaBbiLq44iUCFYKNoqqSFF5HJ1r35g7roIqTZKhN13/s2048/Mdesk-blurred.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1525" data-original-width="2048" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9v87-MVwTPtP_MLLiNYz7sqVNXNxa9_7l_pyOO8DlR6mYUtXYiOdc5KehHGFr5EXDwIFlfHK_M0TiZlugYmWrTpRbh56nhMUxJOgaBbiLq44iUCFYKNoqqSFF5HJ1r35g7roIqTZKhN13/w410-h306/Mdesk-blurred.jpg" width="410" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>I'm really proud of my county for making the decision and creating plans to provide virtual learning for all kids. They developed a plan they shared not only with the school board but also with the public. Many parents weighed in, and they listened. The school board approved the plans only last week, which is cutting it pretty close, but everyone was prepared to move forward with the plan. </p><p>Londo and I were relieved when we heard the virtual option would be offered if they went with a hybrid approach (we are even happier that they are going fully virtually). With the hybrid model, we would keep the kids home anyway by selecting fully virtual so those who really need to be in person could have more space there. We are fortunate that we are working from home, have good internet, and are able to support the kids. In addition, we want to keep the kids home unless/until there is some drastic change for the better. And I don't mean improved numbers or smaller classes so there can be more social distancing. I mean a vaccine or accurate and quick tests or, I don't even know what else.</p><p>My problem with the assumptions people are making about kids and this virus is that there are STILL too many unknowns AND that the virus keeps mutating. So it's not like we know that kids won't get it, won't be that affected, or won't carry it to others. It's that we simply DO NOT KNOW what will happen if we put a bunch of kids together in a school, in classes that change every 45 minutes, in narrow hallways, in places to eat lunch, in the doorways and corridors that everyone uses at the same times all day long. </p><p>Except we do, don't we? Don't we at least have an idea of what will happen? Haven't we seen some examples from <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/04/world/middleeast/coronavirus-israel-schools-reopen.html" target="_blank">other countries</a> and in <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2020/08/30/health/us-coronavirus-sunday/index.html" target="_blank">colleges in the US</a> that have already brought kids onto campus? We know that <a href="https://www.sharp.com/health-news/how-covid-19-affects-kids.cfm" target="_blank">kids can get and transmit the virus</a>, we are learning that they may quite <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/williamhaseltine/2020/07/31/new-evidence-suggests-young-children-spread-covid-19-more-efficiently-than-adults/#230be4219fdc" target="_blank">effective at spreading the virus</a>, and we know that <a href="https://labblog.uofmhealth.org/rounds/rare-covid-related-inflammatory-disease-affecting-children" target="_blank">some children can get severely sick from the virus</a>. Personally, I do not expect kids to be able to maintain <a href="https://www.boston.com/news/coronavirus/2020/08/09/9-people-test-positive-for-coronavirus-at-georgia-school-where-photos-of-packed-hallways-went-viral" target="_blank">social distancing in school hallways</a>, I just assume that kids (especially the youngest ones) <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/to-convince-kids-to-wear-masks-adults-are-getting-creative-kids-are-getting--annoyed/2020/05/30/6f7afaaa-a020-11ea-81bb-c2f70f01034b_story.html" target="_blank">won't want to wear masks</a>, and I am not at all surprised when <a href="https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2020/08/21/colleges-point-fingers-students-partying-spreading-covid-19" target="_blank">college kids go to parties and social gatherings</a>. </p><p>Therefore, it's up to us parents, administrators, government, and other adults to be the adults. It is up to us to keep the kids safe, to make decisions based on the well-being of all of those in our community, and to admit that we don't know how this virus will affect kids, mutate, or cause long-term problems. </p><p>I do not want my kids to be guinea pigs in a potentially devastating experiment. I do not want to chance them in unknown situations with potentially lasting and/or lethal repercussions. I do not want anyone to! </p><p>I feel like we have the technology and capabilities for our kids to learn safely, even if it is not an ideal situation. And even if we don't have the best year of education, even if our kids fall behind a little due to the current crisis situation, I believe kids are resilient and will bounce back from this. But only if they are healthy enough to do so. Only if they don't have to live with feelings of guilt for spreading a virus that kids family and friends, even if they don't get sick. </p><p>We all want things to be back to "normal" and the kids to go back into schools. But wanting something to be doesn't make it so. We should all be planning for the worst, even while we hope for the best. We should all be coming up with inventive plans to deal with the NEW normal. We all need to adjust, adapt, innovate, and maybe even evolve--it's what humans do, in every generation, to survive in new circumstances. </p><p>So tomorrow, we try school in a new way, with innovation and hopefully a lot of patience. </p>Cara Miahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18446592277063553890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-64118977752529096812020-08-27T20:59:00.001-04:002020-08-27T21:00:43.472-04:00Candy Camp Was Delicious<p>For the past few summers, one of my best friends and her family would meet for a week at the beach. This year, for obvious reasons, we did not get together for a vacation at the beach. I still wanted to get together in some format, some way to see each other and get the kids together daily for a week virtually.</p><p>So I came up with... Candy Camp! </p><p>I had hoped my friend would be able to work with me in creating it as an activity we could do together, but she didn't end up having the capacity. Her youngest daughter wanted to participate (the older one is a teen and has pretty much spent her summer shut in her room), but my friend agreed to it as an idea and okayed the week I wanted to have it. </p><p>My kids were excited to do it, and I bought candy molds for chocolate bars and a kit for creating gummy candies. I planned out the themes for each day and the daily schedule, and I created a online packet with slides that walked the kids through morning activities and pages for afternoon independent work. I set up a Google Meet conference call, and we had kickoff meetings each morning and a wrap-up meeting most afternoons. </p><p>The themes for each day were: </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Monday - Design your candy</li><li>Tuesday - Market research</li><li>Wednesday - Make your candy!</li><li>Thursday - Plan your packaging and advertising</li><li>Friday - Present your candy and describe your commercial</li></ul><div><br /></div><div>We had so much fun! My kids really liked it, and my daughter even said, while going through the first day's packet, that this was like a real camp! </div><div><br /></div><div>And my kids were so creative! They designed very inventive candies, came up with names and logos, drew the packaging and ads, and developed how they wanted to commercials to go. Here are the candies: </div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYibdeqkkTbeHZ8lTITHarpNgn2pIGWq_RyzdwbZhllp5blfEKtGeqnFRfnOjpB_97W3JMMxvIVixrRlFHaeamGi1BVCP3YinTwqgPDjE04KM-OJQcGvldCfIL0Wyl8E2quFwTQ4S3uYKq/s3890/IMG_20200821_165955904.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><img border="0" data-original-height="2227" data-original-width="3890" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYibdeqkkTbeHZ8lTITHarpNgn2pIGWq_RyzdwbZhllp5blfEKtGeqnFRfnOjpB_97W3JMMxvIVixrRlFHaeamGi1BVCP3YinTwqgPDjE04KM-OJQcGvldCfIL0Wyl8E2quFwTQ4S3uYKq/w410-h234/IMG_20200821_165955904.jpg" width="410" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><ul style="text-align: left;"><ul><li><span style="font-size: x-small;">Far left: Pookie's candy was muffin-shaped fudge with caramel inside and M&Ms on top.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-small;">Far right: Pumpkin's candy was a gummy bar with a dollop of jelly inside and covered with a milk chocolate and white chocolate drizzled on top.</span></li><li><span style="font-size: x-small;">Middle two: My candy (a white chocolate and milk chocolate version) had chocolate on top and bottom and a middle layer of peanut butter combined with marshmallow fluff and Rice Krispies</span></li></ul></ul></div><div>We learned some things while doing this camp, too. In addition to market research and branding, there were many teachable moments. For example, our candy making went from Wednesday into Thursday because making candy is a difficult process. We had to make three batches of fudge before we got the right consistency to get the caramel inside and set correctly. We had to figure out how to get jelly into the gummy candy, and we had to scrape off the first try at the chocolate shell because it wouldn't set. </div><div><br /></div><div>As I said to my kids late on Wednesday, "Making candy isn't easy! If it was, everyone would do it." </div><div><br /></div><div>It was also such a great way to see my friend and her daughter every day and feel like we were really doing something with them. Her daughter really enjoyed it, too, and she came up with an adorable, creative candy, name, and ad. I was quite impressed. </div><div><br /></div><div>So it was fun, informative, a great creative outlet, a good bonding experience from a distance, and absolutely delicious! If you ever have the chance to design and make your own candy, I highly recommend it. Just don't make too much, or your next camp will need to be figuring out how to let out your waistband!</div>caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-8284786235500179162020-08-26T21:39:00.001-04:002020-08-26T21:42:20.121-04:00While I've Been... NowhereI don't know about everyone else out there in the world, but I suspect most people are feeling completely stir-crazy... the way I'm feeling. I was doing fine for many months. But now we are about to start the sixth month of being shut in and limiting, well, everything. <div><br /></div><div>You see, last winter I learned I have hypertension, which puts me in a higher-risk category for COVID-19. And this spring I learned that when it comes to pandemics, I'm on the extremely wary side of the caution spectrum. Also, I've worked too long supporting the health market/industry/government and with too many epidemiologists to not be flat out terrified of this novel virus. </div><div><br /></div><div>So our household is locked down as much as possible. None of us meet people for social-distanced walks or lunches in a park. We don't chance any gatherings, do any shopping, or eat anywhere but home. Londo has done almost all of the required trips out, and we follow a strict process for anything that comes into the house. </div><div><br /></div><div>In general, we've managed pretty well. However, I realized recently that I've reached my limit in being fine staying in. I now truly have gotten stir crazy and frustrated. I feel isolated. I long to spend physical time with family and friends. I deeply miss activities in places I will not go these days. </div><div><br /></div><div>It occurred to me the last time I felt trapped at home, isolated, and lonely for other humans was when I had babies... and that is why I started this blog in the first place! So it seems like a good time to try to start writing again. </div><div><br /></div><div>I will start with what I have done during these pandemic months, and what I've learned from doing them. In the past five months, I have: </div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Stayed home with my husband, two kids, and two dogs.<br />I have learned... it's a good thing I like the people I live with! We all truly like each other and enjoy the time we spend together. Except the dogs--they don't really like each other or get along.</li><li>Learned to cook curries!<br />I have learned... there are easy recipes that make cooking Indian food not as hard as I thought it would be. And apparently I LOVE chickpea and sweet potato curry!</li><li>Been working out regularly, including doing the Insanity workout again, and 'm currently in the second to last week (I've done the workout in previous years two other times). <br />I have learned... even at 44, I can be in really good shape, and I still love crazy hard workouts. </li><li>Spent a week with the kids at my parents' beach house (near the beach, not right at it, and we did not actually go to the beach).<br />I have learned... a change of indoor scenery is really nice, even if you don't go out anywhere. I need to do that again soon.</li><li>Supported the kids through virtual camps (they each had three virtual camps).<br />I have learned... although they didn't enjoy all of the camps, they did have fun and learned things. And it was good for them to be able to do things other than watch TV. This has been the summer of TV for them. </li><li>Created a camp I called Candy Camp for my kids and my best friend's youngest to do remotely. <br />I have learned... I can create pretty professional distance/remote camp, and it is really fun to make up your own candy and help your kids realize their delicious designs. </li><li>Had many virtual lunches, happy hours, teas, and chats.<br />I have learned... I'm perfectly fine doing these things virtually in place of being in person. While not the same, it works for me as a substitute.</li><li>Gone to the doctors' office, lab for blood work, pharmacy, grocery store (once), comic book store (once), and Goodwill's donation drive-thru (once).<br />I have learned... I can shop for most things online and do most appointments virtually. </li><li>Gotten new kitchen appliances!<br />I have learned... they make stove ranges with double ovens!!! And that people can really be great and supportive over the phone while you make big purchases. </li><li>Interviewed, accepted, and started a new job.<br />I have learned... It is possible to leave a company and start with a new one all virtually. </li><li>Worked from home full time.<br />I have learned... I'm really glad I redid my office/guest room last winter! Working from home is so much better if you have everything set up in a way that is conducive to the way you work and in an environment that makes you happy. </li></ul><div>Huh. I really have done a lot. There is a lot more I can do, also. Including writing again. </div></div>caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-5024370647375965322017-05-03T13:05:00.001-04:002017-05-03T13:35:49.816-04:00The Beginnings of a Ski BuddyAfter lunch, my daughter and I went back up the "magic carpets" to the top of the bunny slopes. She wanted to keep skiing! With me!<br />
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I went down diagonally and waited for her, like the instructor had. She came right down after me. We did this a few more times, and then the Pumpkin asked if we could go together. She said that is what she wanted--us to ski together. At the same time. (Like ski buddies!)<br />
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And so we did. I kept on the lower side of her, just in case. But she was doing great. <br />
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When we got to the end of a diagonal, we would stop facing the way we had come and slowly inch our skis around till we were facing the other way. But then, my daughter started turning at the end of the run so she was facing the other way once she stopped, ready to go on the next run. <br />
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I was very impressed, as she did this without me giving any instructions. I pointed it out to her. She said, "I just thought it would be easier to end facing the way we'd go next." Indeed it is! And I told her she had just naturally taken the next step in downhill skiing! <br />
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We made it to the bottom of the hill, with her getting better each run, and gaining in confidence. At the bottom, she looked at me with excitement and asked if we had time to go again. And we did! So we did! <br />
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My daughter and I skied down that bunny hill together! She was feeling so good about her skiing that she pointed out she was skiing faster than I was! I gave her a look and asked if she realized that I was going slower than her on purpose, and with chagrin she admitted she hadn't realized. I pointed out that although it had been a while since I skied, I was actually quite good and was only using the snowplow/pizza wedge method to stay with her. I think that gave her some insight into what would come next, and how much more she can learn, as she continues to learn to ski. Besides, I couldn't let her think she had already surpassed my skill in skiing! Confidence is good, but let's not overdo it!<br />
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When we reached the bottom, our time was up. We had had a fantastic time, and when we went into the lodge, she told my dad that it was "EPIC!" Epic! Hurray! <br />
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We are both looking forward to going skiing again, and my brother said he would love to go with us any time we were going. I foresee a lot of fun trips in our future! Unfortunately, this winter was so mild, we didn't have the opportunity to go again this winter. But I'm already starting to plan for next year... caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-86458050533240647592017-03-31T10:59:00.000-04:002017-05-03T13:36:13.777-04:00We Take to the SlopesIn January, I planned a ski weekend for my family with my brother, his twins and my parents. (My sister and her kids couldn't make it.) I'm very lucky that we have family who has a house by a ski resort within a few hours of where we live, so we had a free place to stay. My brother and I priced out how much the skis, lift tickets and classes would be for us all, and we went for it!<br />
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I first learned to ski when we were on a trip to New Hampshire when I was probably 8 or 9. I remember... bundling up in my furry gray and white coat... how difficult it was to move around in skis... the lesson I took with my sister... how lost I felt when I slipped off the J-bar behind the trees when no one else was around... and the exhilaration of sliding down the hill while in control of my movements and speed! I loved it! After that, we went skiing pretty much every year at one of the ski resorts close to where we lived. <br />
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Londo used to ski, but he didn't grow up skiing like I did. Then, he hurt his knee pretty bad the last time he went skiing,--which was why it was the <em>last time</em> he went skiing. Londo really enjoyed skiing prior to that, and he supported taking the kids to learn to ski. In fact, he would have gone on the bunny slopes with us, except he got really sick with a cold and couldn't be outside and/or active. But he did come up for the weekend and stayed at the lodge with my parents while my brother and I took the four kids out to the slopes. <br />
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The Pumpkin was VERY excited to learn to ski. She was almost 10, and I felt she was ready to ski. When I first mentioned it a couple of months earlier, she immediately said she wanted to learn. The Pookie was not so sure. He is two years younger (7 and a half), and these days he gets anxious about learning new things or trying things outside his normal routines. But I showed them both a video of some little kid doing the pizza wedge (I grew up calling it the snowplow) down a bunny hill, and that got him interested. He thought it looked pretty easy and maybe even a little fun. He agreed to try it.<br />
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My brother's kids were only kind of interested, but they don't always want to try new things either. However, the twins are about to turn 11, and my brother wanted to make sure they at least attempted to learn at this age. He loves to ski as much as I do, so he wanted to share it with them. In order to preempt any arguments about it, he outright bribed them. He offered them each $10 if they at least tried the lesson. <br />
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We rented all our gear (with Londo being our hero and running across the entire resort to get us goggles even though he was sick); however we had to wait a while for the next class to begin. So my brother and I showed the kids how to put the skis on and take them off. We showed them how to move around on the flattish ground, but it is not nearly as easy as it looks! Still, the Pumpkin seemed to pick it up pretty quickly, and the Pookie fell a bit but seemed okay. My brother's son fell down constantly, but he got back up every time and kept trying. I was rather impressed with that grit! My brother's daughter struggled to move herself on the skis. I think she was getting pretty frustrated. <br />
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My brother and I took the beginners lesson with the kids (which turned out to be SUCH a good idea). When it started, the instructor had us take off our skis and go up the "magic carpets" to the top of the bunny slope. <br />
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When we got to the top, I learned that my brother's daughter had opted out. My brother made sure she understood that she would get $10 if she did the lesson, but she was uncomfortable and did not want to continue. (Luckily, the resort let him return her skis later for full reimbursement.) His son then asked if he would get the $10 even if he fell during the lesson, to which my brother said of course! So his daughter went into the lodge with Londo and my parents, and his son continued on with us.<br />
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The instructor was great, showing us how to move without our skis actually on. Then we tried with one ski on, then the other, and then both. The Pumpkin seems to pick up on it pretty well, and the Pookie struggled a bit but was making progress. My nephew was still falling a lot, but he continued to get back up and try again! <br />
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Then we started moving downhill. The instructor would go across the hill and a little ways down. Then she would signal the next person to come down, and then the next. Sometimes, she would come back up and help a person down (most of the class were kids, and it was everyone's first time, except my brother and me ). I watched as my daughter went down, doing pretty well for her first time! Then I went down... boy, it had been a long time since I've skied! Last time was before kids, so over 10 years ago! <br />
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And then I looked up to see my son hesitant to come down. I had been helping him quite a bit at the top of the hill, and I realized too late that I should not have come down before him. The instructor went up to help him, but I felt my heart in my throat when I watched him. He was nervous. He was not steady. Here was my boy up the hill on skis while I watched from below. He held on to the instructor's pole, which she held out horizontally, and came down with her. <br />
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The next two passes across the hill were as shallow as the first. The Pumpkin was still doing great, and I went down with the Pookie, with my pole out for him to hold. Then, the instructor went farther down the hill than she had before. I watched my brother, nephew and daughter do fine. Then, I went with the Pookie. <br />
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He was really anxious about this pass, since it was steeper than all the others. But I took him slowly, and he did okay. His biggest problem was keeping his skis in a wedge without crossing them, and I realized he would have done a lot better with shorter skis (lesson learned for next time). When we got to the stopping point of this pass, he fell over. I sat on the ground with him and pointed out that we had only a few more passes to go. <br />
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His eyes went wide. <br />
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"No, Mommy! I just can't do it!" He said to me, pleadingly. And I realized that was as much as he could do. He had done great! He had made it through the lesson itself, and we were just practicing pizza wedges to the bottom. He hadn't complained, he didn't have any meltdowns (something we are dealing with lately), and he really did try hard the whole time! He simply did not have the ability to keep his legs far enough apart in a wedge to keep the skis from crossing. <br />
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I looked up at my brother, who quickly said that he could go down with the Pumpkin and his son. She was doing really well and didn't need much supervision. I thanked him and took off my son's skis and my skis. I carried all the skis and poles, and the Pookie and I walked down the last part of the bunny hill. <br />
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Londo was at the bottom, and I watched the Pumpkin ski right up to him! She did great! When the Pookie and I walked up to him, I knew he was worried that our son had thrown some sort of fit, so I quickly explained how well he did and that we just walked down the last part. And we all went in to the lodge for lunch!<br />
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After lunch, we started talking about what we were doing next. Most people were ready to go back to the house. Just as I started to agree that we should all go back, the Pumpkin piped up, "I want to go back out and ski more! Mom, I wanted to ski with you."<br />
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YES! There it is... the thing I was hoping for... the beginnings of a Ski Buddy! <br />
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I've needed a ski buddy for years. With Londo not skiing any more (in fact, he stopped before we even met) and most people busy with their kids, I need someone to go with--ideally without leaving Londo with both kids for a weekend. And my kid wanted to go with me! I quickly agreed, and since we took two cars from the house, it worked out well. <br />
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This post is too long already, so I will write up my wonderful time skiing with my new ski buddy later. <br />
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But here was the after-lunch tally:<br />
- Caramama: Happy to have a ski bunny and going back to the bunny slopes.<br />
- The Pumpkin: LOVED skiing and going back to the bunny slopes.<br />
- The Pookie: Tried skiing, but struggled enough for one day and going back to the house.<br />
- Londo: Really quite sick and going back to the house. <br />
- Brother: Going to the more advanced slopes for some time to ski by himself.<br />
- Nephew: Tried skiing and did alright, but ready to go back to the house. <br />
- Niece: Got on skis, but did not try skiing and very ready to go back to the house. <br />
- Mom: Going back to the house.<br />
- Dad: Staying in the lodge (working on his computer) to wait for us and drive us back. (Isn't he a great guy? This was totally his choice, too, since either my brother or I could have driven back.)<br />
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More to come... <br />
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<br />caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-4773493921160348262017-01-06T12:40:00.001-05:002017-01-06T12:40:40.390-05:00So That I Have BreakfastThe two <a href="http://caramamamia.blogspot.com/2016/11/why-i-cry-every-morning.html" target="_blank">mornings</a> (before today) had gone pretty well. The kids weren't arguing, and yesterday they even got ready before I told them to! In fact, we did so well getting out of the house, we were able to handle a last-minute change to our carpooling. <br />
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This morning was not as good. Luckily, it was mostly they were just moving slow. Sooooo ssssllllooooowwwww. hehe. <br />
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So there I am, dashing around like mad, trying to get them to brush their teeth already, and finally, I look at them and say, "Do you know what gets cut out of the mornings when we are running behind? You know that I make sure you get dressed and brushed and eat breakfast and have a lunch and pack your bags. But do you realize what I don't do on mornings when we are rushed?" <br />
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They looked at me with questioning eyes. They honestly couldn't think of what was missing from rushed mornings. <br />
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"My breakfast. I don't eat MY breakfast when we are running behind." I told them. "This morning, I am hungry. So please just brush your teeth and let's get downstairs." <br />
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As they headed towards different bathrooms to brush, I told them not only that I was hungry but that I was struggling with a headache and eating helps my headaches. <br />
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Recently, my son has asked me or Londo to time him brushing his teeth. He doesn't think the timer on his toothbrush is accurate, so he likes us to use our timers (on our phones). He started to ask me to time him, but then quickly, on his own, stopped himself and said, "Never mind, Mommy. I'll use my toothbrush timer. While I brush my teeth, you should go downstairs and get breakfast."<br />
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Awwww. How sweet! My daughter quickly backed him up, telling me to go downstairs. Usually, they dislike being upstairs (or on any floor of the house) by themselves and beg me to stay up with them. This morning, their empathy prevailed! (Plus they were both upstairs, so no one was alone on the floor.) <br />
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When I went down, I of course started making their breakfasts and getting their lunches set. Because I'm a parent, therefore I put their needs before my own. But when my son came down, he immediately took over preparing his breakfast and asked if he could fix me a breakfast! My daughter came downstairs at that time and said she was about to do the same thing! <br />
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I was really touched. I told them that I would rather they get their own breakfasts and eat--their eating breakfast would make me feel better. But then, I made my own instant oatmeal. I was able to eat it while I was fixing their lunches. I made my coffee to go, as usual, because I didn't have enough time to drink that before leaving, but I DID get to eat! <br />
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Their empathy for me this morning was really heart warming. They made sure that I had eaten before we left the house. Sure, they were loud as we left because they'd forget I had a headache, but they really do care about me. Even in the mornings. caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-80877014119259696642016-12-19T09:57:00.000-05:002016-12-19T10:04:41.349-05:00ADHD Runs in the FamilyIt has been a tough year for my son. He's in 2nd grade this year, and he is having a rough time. I mean, a really hard time, to the point where his ability to learn is suffering. <br />
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We worked with the school addressing <a href="http://caramamamia.blogspot.com/2016/06/and-diagnosis-for-boy.html" target="_blank">his sensory issues </a>during his kindergarten year, and we made it through that year. Then his first grade year went really well! He did great all year long, and his teacher seemed to know just how to handle any issues that came up. And some issues did come up, but the teacher worked with him to resolve them quite successfully.<br />
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But this year, a lot of things seem to be coming to a head. His lack of focus, inability to control his impulses and inattentiveness have exacerbated his sensory issues, leading to some serious behavior problems. His teacher is great, really wanting him to succeed and working with him and us to try to get him there. Unfortunately, the things that have worked in the past do not seem to be working now.<br />
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In the first week of school, I got two phone calls and an email from the teacher. The second week was about the same. He was not doing the work assigned in class, especially the reading and writing, he was not listening, he was disrupting the class with talking and noises (while the teacher was talking), and he was having meltdowns. We met with the teacher and with the counselor. We talked with the Pookie, we've offered rewards, used behavior charts, we've threatened and punished, we've consoled and supported.<br />
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He seems to have the biggest problems adjusting to changes in routines, and neither of my kids have been good with transitions. For example, we've known for years that if there is a substitute teacher in the Pookie's class, he is NOT going to have a good day. We know that he does much better with routines and structure (this is why we did not keep him in a Montessori school), and when there is not a clear routine or when things change, he has a really hard time adjusting. <br />
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As the school year progressed, things were getting worse and worse. He was getting upset and leaving the classroom without permission. He'd go in to the bathroom and not come out. For hours. While a staff member sat outside the bathroom to make sure he was okay and to not leave him alone. When they finally got him to talk, he said he wanted some time by himself alone. But the bathroom is no place for that, with other people coming in and out, as they explained to him. One day was extremely bad, and they offered a quiet room that the school has set aside for kids with special needs (small and nothing in it except a mat on the floor), which helped, but the room can't be used as a cool-down place on a regular basis. That day, the second time I was called I said that was it, I was going in to pick him up early. I brought him home and we spent the next few hours doing schoolwork and homework, with him fighting and being contrary the whole time. It was no fun at all for either of us. <br />
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He would also bang things, throw things and shove and even hit people when he was upset. He was disrespectful to teachers. But most of all, he was mad at himself! <br />
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It was as if he didn't even know what was going on when he'd get so upset. When he was calmed down, he usually wouldn't even remember what happened! I mean, for real, not just trying to get out of trouble. We'd walk him through what lead up to it and then ask about the actual thing that happened, and he would say, "Here's the thing, that's the part I can't remember!" and then he'd say that he was dumb and he hated himself and things like that. <br />
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We used to have the added frustration that the Pookie didn't know how to find the words to describe things. At least now, he can do that. But he still has issues finding the words in moments of intense frustration or when he is simply overwhelmed by sensations or emotions. The even bigger issue, though, is that he can't seem to control his actions.<br />
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For example, we had my close friend and her two girls stay with us for a weekend. All four kids played well together mostly. (It was really cute, in fact, because they came up with their own play and practiced and made sets and costumes and the performed it for us at the end of the weekend.) At one point, there was some kerfuffle and the Pookie pushed the older girl and then got upset. I sent him to his room to cool down/have a time out, and he asked me to come in after he calmed down. He told me that he was sorry and that he really didn't mean to do it. He said he didn't even realize she was so close to him or that he was using his hands (pushing her) when he was doing it. He said it was like he couldn't even control his own body. It was the best explanation I'd ever heard from him!<br />
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So even though he was getting better with using his words to describe what was wrong, he was still having lots of trouble at school, where it's easier to be overwhelmed and there is no place to go to be by himself to calm down. <br />
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The absolute worst was how upset he would get with himself. He would say he hated himself and wished he wasn't alive. It's so heartbreaking to hear your child say and think those things about themselves. <br />
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He was (and we were) in crisis. <br />
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During this time, I bought a lot of books for kids about how to understand and control your emotions, how to recognize sensations in your body, how to calm yourself down, how to meditate (which I've done with the kids on and off for a few years) and about ADHD. I bought him fidgets to help with his anxiety and getting overwhelmed, and to help him stay focused (research shows kids/people with ADHD focus way better when they are able to fidget). I bought him a sensory-input squishy cushion for his desk chair. We talked about techniques for calming down, and I even made him little cards with the three techniques we decided on to keep in his pocket (Flexible Thinking, Meditation, Distraction). <br />
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But this was not enough. All the band-aids that Londo and I worked on with him were not enough. There was something more going on, and we needed to address the underlying root cause. At this point, it was very clear to Londo and I that until his inability to focus and control his impulses were addressed, he wasn't going to be successful at school or at home or in his activities. <br />
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So while we were doing all the cognitive-behavioral work, we had set up an evaluation for him. We went to the same <a href="http://caramamamia.blogspot.com/2016/06/still-fidgeting-but-now-with-diagnosis.html" target="_blank">people that evaluated and diagnosed my daughter</a>. This group is amazing, and the doctor who does the evaluation is really thorough. Like with my daughter, they tested the Pookie for ADHD, learning disabilities and IQ, and I requested that they evaluate him for <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oppositional_defiant_disorder" target="_blank">Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)</a>. <br />
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As side note about why I requested he be evaluated for ODD: My son is often contrary just to be contrary, says the opposite of what you say just to say the opposite. Like that time when <a href="http://caramamamia.blogspot.com/2012/08/for-when-i-forget-again.html" target="_blank">he was literally standing in the rain and said that it wasn't raining</a>--with an angry face, not like he was joking. When I looked at the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oppositional_defiant_disorder#Signs_and_symptoms" target="_blank">list of symptoms</a>, the Pookie had many of them. He is very moody, is touchy, argues with anyone if that's his mood, defies his teacher and staff at school, deliberately annoys classmates and his sister. But he is never spiteful or vindictive. And he does not blame others for his mistakes. It seems more like his instinct is just to be contrary, and because he is so impulsive, he can't help himself and then feels bad afterwards. And on the flip side, he is so sweet, cuddly, friendly, supportive, helpful and creative! But just to be sure he did not have ODD, I wanted a professional to evaluate him. <br />
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The thorough evaluation came back with no surprises. He definitely had ADHD (it run in my family and Londo's family, and boy does it run in ours!), he is smart, and he has anxiety. They did not evaluate for sensory processing disorder, but we had submitted his previous evaluation for that (by a different group), so that was accounted for in the report we received. The evaluator did not think he has ODD, mainly because he is never spiteful. She provided a thick report that included two pages of recommendations for school and home. This evaluation was well worth the money (and it was expensive)!<br />
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We submitted the report to the school, and worked quickly to set up another meeting. This meeting was going to be an IEP screening, because the Pookie was having so many problems we needed to figure out with the school just how much support he would need. We made the meeting for the Wednesday after Thanksgiving. <br />
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Meanwhile, we met with our pediatrician(s), submitted the report to them, and discussed medication for ADHD. The Pumpkin was on medication for ADHD again this year, but this year she tried a different kind and it seemed to be helping SO MUCH--but that is a story for another post. The pediatrician suggested we put the Pookie on the same kind, since it worked so well for his sister. <br />
This was right before Thanksgiving. We went to my in-laws' house for Thanksgiving, but we were able to get the prescription filled right before we left town. We didn't want to try new medicine on Thanksgiving itself (we didn't want to even consider an emergency trip to a hospital on Thanksgiving!), so we gave it to him the next day. <br />
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Holy. Crap.<br />
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The difference between the two days was amazing. He was calm and focused. It was like he was on his best behavior without even trying! From my outside perspective, it appeared to me as if all the noise and buzzing and constant chatter that must go on in his head was quiet. He looked like he could think, instead of just react which was what he had been doing. We had a great day, and he was so proud of himself. <br />
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I notified the school on Monday that he had started medication, and he had an amazing day. Tuesday was also a great day. When Londo and I went in for the IEP screening meeting on Wednesday afternoon, we were all a little discombobulated... We were seeing a different kid from just the week before. I mean, it's not like he is not himself. It's more like he was able to show the best sides of himself without all the struggle and contrariness that can come between his best sides. <br />
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At a bit of a loss, we all agreed to close the IEP assessment (which can always be reopened) and reconvene in January to discuss a 504 Plan for him. He will still need accommodations, and that is what the 504 provides kids with ADHD. <br />
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It's been about a month since he started medication, and he is doing great! Not perfect--he is still a 7-year-old kid, after all. He still has some problematic moments, but overall he is able to control his impulses enough to think before acting and he is able to focus on his tasks at school. His reading has just taken off because he can sit and focus on the words enough to enjoy it! <br />
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Most importantly, the Pookie is so proud of himself! With him, the bad will build on the bad and start snowballing into worse and worse (as we saw in the first few months of school)--BUT the good builds on the good! He is feeling better about himself, and he is very happy to be taking the medication. He is able to show everyone (without struggling to do so) how smart and funny and creative and sweet he is! caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-28807598368980675092016-11-29T16:21:00.000-05:002016-11-29T16:31:52.204-05:00Why I Cry Every MorningThe other day, my husband was giving the kids a pep talk about mornings. You see, he is awake, ready and out the door before the rest of us wake up. I handle the mornings with the kids (and <a href="http://caramamamia.blogspot.com/search?q=hate+my+mornings" target="_blank">I still hate my mornings</a>). They are never easy mornings. Londo does everything he can to help without being there, including trying to get the kids to listen to me when I tell them to get ready. During this particular pep talk, he said something that included "so mommy doesn't..." And I piped in "...cry every morning!" <br />
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The kids looked a little startled at that, and Londo quickly said, "Mommy is just joking." But later in the day, I let Londo, then the Pumpkin and then the Pookie know that I WAS NOT JOKING! Their behavior has made me get angry and yell and/or (usually <em>and</em>) get upset and cry every. single. school. morning. for the last 3 or 4 weeks. Not. Joking.<br />
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Over the years, I've tried so many different ways of dealing with the mornings. I used to try to be fun and race the kids! (They always won, after all I have a lot more to do to get ready.) I have tried charts listed what they have to do. I have tried cajoling, threatening, being sweet, being mean, calmly talking through what is needed, getting everything ready for them, being logical, being methodical, being firm, being easy, being silly, letting my frustration show, yelling, letting them do it on their own, praising their efforts... OMG, everything I could think of! <br />
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I even had a whole discussion about how I wasn't the enemy, but rather I was their ally in getting ready in the morning. They HAD to get ready and go to school, and I was the one helping them not forcing them to get ready! That one worked for a little while, but eventually, they became difficult again. <br />
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Look, I remember how hard it was to get up in the mornings and go to school. It's STILL hard for me, especially in winters <a href="http://caramamamia.blogspot.com/search/label/SAD" target="_blank">with my SAD</a>. But I have to go to work, so I get up and get ready for the day. The kids have to go to school, so they need to get up and get ready for the day. It just has to be done.<br />
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So why do they fight me every step of the way? <br />
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My daughter gives me saucy attitude, if she even responds to me. My son is contrary about everything and then says mean things. I start off so nice! I really do! I sit on their beds and speak gently about getting up and what the weather is going to be like. Then I insist a little more firmly that they get up, at least start by sitting up. I remind them that we want to have a good morning, right? So they need to get up and get ready nicely. I give them a little time, while I go back to my room to get dressed or put on makeup. I come back and speak even more firmly about how they need to get up. That I don't want to have another bad morning. So don't wait until I'm yelling, but just start moving now. <br />
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At this point, I'm usually getting to the end of my patience. And at this point, they are still sassing me. The Pookie is saying that I'm so mean or something like that. Recently, the Pumpkin has started to just shriek in response to me. No words, just a shriek. <br />
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That's when I start yelling. Why oh why must they wait until I'm yelling to do what they are supposed to do?!? I try so hard to get them moving and doing the right thing before I start yelling. But inevitably I end up yelling. Usually, this is when the Pookie at least starts doing what he's supposed to, but depending on what kind of mood he's in, he may throw a little tantrum while doing it. The Pumpkin, however, continues to give me attitude and shrieks. Shrieks! What is up with that? <br />
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I get so frustrated, so sick of having to push them, remind them, stay on top of them, fight with them, yell at them. After all, what do they need to every morning that is worth this hassle? Get up, get dressed, use the potty and brush their teeth. That is all. I do EVERYTHING else for them, or at least help them with everything else. And yet, they bitch and moan about the very little that they have to do!<br />
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And it's <em>this </em>point, 10 to 20 minutes since first waking them up, that I start to cry. <br />
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Once I start crying, the Pumpkin feels bad and tries to do the right thing, usually even apologizing. The Pookie definitely turns his behavior around. But I don't want to be in tears for them to realize that they are behaving badly and treating me poorly. I don't want to go through this every morning! <br />
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They treat me like crap in the mornings. They are rude, mean and disrespectful. And I keep coming back for more. If they were anyone but my own children, I would have left them! I'm not one to stick around for any abuse! But it's my own children, and I can't leave them. I understand that it's hard for them--they don't do well with transitions nor do they do well at focusing or getting tasks completed without a gazillion reminders. But the emotional upheavals every morning aren't good for anyone! <br />
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So I let them know that they are treating me poorly every morning, and that I will keep helping them, but that they really are treating me poorly. Something has got to change, and soon. Since they are still going to have to go to school on time, something else is going to have to change. Hopefully I'll figure out what soon. At least I know <a href="http://www.scarymommy.com/the-big-fat-fuck-you/" target="_blank">I'm not alone</a> in this frustration that is parenthood. caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-36393523683064828782016-09-26T13:44:00.001-04:002016-11-29T16:04:21.095-05:00Mommy: The Dream CrusherThis summer, the kids watched the Olympics with me, something I've been waiting for them to be old enough to enjoy! Well actually, they were at my inlaws without me during the week that had the gymnastics competitions, so I recorded hours and hours and HOURS of Olympics and saved the gymnastics to watch with the kids. <br />
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You see, growing up my sports were gymnastics and swimming. I LOVE the summer Olympics, especially the gymnastics and swimming. And I want to share my love of those things (especially <em>especially</em> gymnastics) with the kids. Londo has a vague interest in those sports, in the way that he is vaguely interested in all sports but NOT in the way that he loves football and keeps up with basketball and has this fascination with curling in the Winter Olympics (huh?). But I need to get the kids into gymnastics so I can share the LOVE I have for it with others and watch it and be amazed together! <br />
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So when the kids were back home, we'd watch my recorded Olympic gymnastics right before bed. Londo had warned me that the Pookie was not that into it down at my inlaws, but I believe that watching it with me made a difference. I'm able to point out things to look for, I give context to the scoring, I explain why the moves are difficult, I provide the backstory for the gymnasts. They really enjoyed it, and we were amazed together! <br />
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But things did not go smoothly one night. I think it was the second night we were watching, and the Pookie pointed out how short the Chinese gymnast was. "She might be shorter than Mommy!" he said surprised. <br />
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Yes, I'm short. I'm 5'2", which is short but not really THAT short. <em>But isn't it funny how short Mommy is? Haha! It's sooooo funny! Mommy is soooo short!</em> <em>And Daddy? Daddy is a GIANT! He's crazy tall!</em> He is, in fact, 6'4", which is really rather tall. <br />
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Guess which side the kids inherited? Their father's height. They have both always been in the 75-95% or greater for height. Which, of course, means that they will be taller than me in a few years. <em>Or next year! They will all be taller than Mommy next year! Haha! Mommy is so short.</em> Ha. Ha. :-/<br />
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So there we were, watching gymnastics, with the Pookie only half joking that the gymnast might be shorter than Mommy, cause Mommy is SO short. And I explained to them that actually, all those gymnasts were shorter than me. They were SHOCKED! I explained that it's true, except one or two who might be the same height as me (I looked up Aly Raisman and Gabby Douglas, who are both also 5'2"). All the other female gymnasts are shorter than I am. <br />
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I explained how being so short was helpful to the female gymnasts and how being short helped the gymnasts get to the Olympic level of gymnastics. And then the Pookie commented, "The Pumpkin will never be a gymnast in the Olympics then." And I, like a FOOL, basically agreed. I basically said that she'd be too tall to be an Olympic gymnast. <br />
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We continued watching the gymnastics until a few minutes later, when I looked over at the Pumpkin, and saw she was crestfallen. She was even starting to cry! Oh crap! Why was she suddenly upset? I asked her what was wrong.<br />
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And she said, "Mommy, you told me I can't be an Olympic gymnast, and I've <em>always</em> wanted to be one! You crushed my dreams!" <br />
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I immediately starting saying things like, she could be the first tall Olympic gymnast! If she worked hard, who's to say she can't do it? She just needs to work hard and figure it out and she could be one if she really wanted! Etc. etc. etc.<br />
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In my mind, I was going: Wait... what? Since when does she have an interest in being a gymnast? She's "always" wanted to be an Olympic gymnast? Um, she hasn't taken any sort of tumbling class since she was, like, 3? I think 3. She only mentioned maybe taking gymnastics classes once during the Olympics. This is BRAND NEW! How can I be expected to know this BRAND NEW thing and not CRUSH her DREAMS when she's never even talked about it before? <br />
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Luckily for me, it blew over pretty quickly. The next morning, the Pumpkin told me that she decided she would be the first tall female Olympic gymnast! I totally supported her! If that's what she wants to do, she should do it! A day or two after that, she told me she was going to do basketball instead, since being tall would really benefit her in that sport. I encouraged this even more! In fact, I signed her up for the after-school basketball class this year. <br />
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I really want to be that supportive mom who is a great cheerleader for her kids, a shoulder to cry on when things don't go well, and voice that encourages them back into the game (or whatever it is) when they want to quit. I truly don't want to be a Dream Crusher! But how am I to know I'm crushing dreams when I am just being realistic and they have NEVER said anything about this supposed dream in their lives? Some days, it's just a crap shoot. <br />
<br />caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-29787601803962576592016-08-30T09:59:00.002-04:002016-11-29T16:03:54.492-05:00Back to SchoolsHere we are again at the start of another school year. Yesterday was the first day of school, and the Pumpkin is starting 4th grade and the Pookie is starting 2nd grade. They are both still in elementary school, but they are going to different schools this year. That is because the Pumpkin got into the gifted and talented program in our area, and therefore she is bused to a nearby school that has the GT program. <br />
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Look, I'm a mom and this is <em>my</em> blog... so I am going to brag just for a minute!<br />
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My daughter got into the gifted and talented program! I KNEW she was a super genius! She's always amazed us at the things she does and says and how much she learns and remembers! Super Genius!!!<br />
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Now, back to the post...<br />
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The Pumpkin is very excited to start this brand new school and be in this GT program, which is a two-year program covering 4th and 5th grade. To help make the transition easier and more comfortable, we went to an open house for the program last Spring, another one last week, a picnic for incoming 4th graders (to the program) last week and the musical that they put on last June. In addition, one of her good friends from her "home school" (the elementary school she'd been going to) is going, as well as two other kids from her home school--and that's just the 4th grade class! She also knows a 5th grader in the program who went to her home school (who's sister is friends with my son). And best of all? My niece is in the program in 5th grade! In fact, when we talked with her about applying to the program, I told her that her cousin goes there and that's what made her say she wanted to apply for sure! <br />
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I'd been worried all summer about how I would get the Pumpkin to one of the close schools where the bus would pick her up to take her to her new school and then get back home to get the Pookie on his bus, which would come 20-30 minutes later. But the mom of the girl in 5th grade who's sister is the Pookie's friend worked out carpooling with me, so I think we've got a good plan now. <br />
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The Pookie is happy to be going back to school and starting 2nd grade. He has some friends in his new class, and he thinks he's going to really like his teacher. I can see him on the edge of a big leap forward, too, so I'm excited to see what 2nd grade bring with him! <br />
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This past weekend, they got some new sporty shorts, new shoes and haircuts. They cleaned their rooms, and we packed their backpacks. By Sunday night, they were ready to start school! I saw them off on the buses yesterday morning, and they were both happy and excited! And when my son's bus left the big bus stop in our neighborhood (our one bus stop fills the whole bus! it's the only stop for the bus!), we parents literally cheered! It was so fun and funny! <br />
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So now we are getting back into the rhythm of school, and I'm really ready for it. The kids seem to be, too. Summers are fun, with lots of interesting things to do, but each week is a different place and schedule! It's been really hard for me to juggle it all, especially with work--I often ended up leaving the office early and having to finish working from home in the evenings. But now, I'm back to regular schedules, and the kids are back to regular routines, and life keeps moving forward...caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-49016470432307863782016-07-29T09:44:00.003-04:002016-07-29T09:44:21.193-04:00Laughing With My GirlThe other week we were on vacation at the beach. We have a timeshare place we stay for one week every summer, although we've had to stay at different units over the last couple of years due to the timing of the vacation and the fact that we now have two dogs and need to bring them with us. So, it was a place that was new to us, but still nice. This one had two bedrooms on the middle floor, one with a queen bed for Londo and me, and the other had two twin beds for the kids. There was a downstairs bedroom where my parents stayed (we own the timeshare with them). <br />
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One late afternoon, we had come back from a day out doing something (beach or boardwalk or shopping) and were relaxing a bit. For some reason, I got the song "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19BkbXMpN00" target="_blank">Too Bad You're Crazy</a>" stuck in my head--heck, the reason was probably that someone said "you're crazy" and that is enough to get a song with those word in my head. I started signing it (changing the words "crazy as hell" to "crazy as well"), but the Pumpkin was like, "That's a mean song." <br />
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There was a lot going on, so I didn't really get to say much about it at the time. But a little while later, the Pumpkin and I were upstairs in my bedroom. I was lying on my back on the bed and was telling her that the song was still stuck in my head. She thinks its funny, how I get song stuck in my head that go on and on like a loop. I started explaining to her that the song was really supposed to be funny, not mean exactly. <br />
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Well, she flopped down on the bed on her stomach and wiggled her way up to be next to me in a very funny way. We started laughing. <br />
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She said again that the song sounded mean to her. I told her that it was a bit, but it really was supposed to be funny, especially considering where the song was from (a movie). I added, "I mean, it even has a kazoo playing in it!" She gave me a skeptical look, so I started searching for it on my phone. I found it and played it for her, singing along with it. We laughed pretty hard when the kazoo started playing.<br />
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She saw the picture from the movie that was put on the YouTube version of the song I linked to above (the movie was April Fool's Day). I explained to her it was from a movie that was a scary movie and that the silly-sounding song at the end helped lighten the mood of the movie. I told her how it came on as the credits were rolling, and how surprised I was at the silliness of the song after being scared by the movie, which had a really crazy person as the bad guy.<br />
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I wasn't quite sure she understood what I mean, and then it occurred to me to explain it was kind of like Holly Quinn! The way Holly Quinn is CRAZY but also rather silly. How the song is kind of like something the Joker would sing, especially at the end when the singer says "I'm a little bit crazy myself." She totally understood at that point, and we listened to the song again and laughed.<br />
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There was something about that moment, something about me and my 9-year-old daughter laying on top of the bed, laughing every few sentences. Everyone else (Londo, the Pookie and my parents) were all downstairs. I was sharing something silly from my teenage years with my daughter, and we were just giggling together. There was nothing especially hysterical in what we talked about, it was just this and that, generally focused around a song I always thought was amusing. <br />
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But I want to remember that moment. The Pumpkin and I hanging out together, laughing over really nothing, just having a good time being together and being silly. It reminds me of hanging out with girlfriends and laughing for long periods of time over things you can't really explain later. Having those kinds of moments with my kids makes all the difficulties worth while. caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-38372224909201198712016-07-22T10:41:00.001-04:002016-07-22T10:41:27.808-04:00Summer CampsFor the last three years, I've signed the kids up for a variety of camps to cover the work days over the summer. We've tried different types of day camps, including art, drama, sports and STEM. I thought we'd try out all different kinds so we could see what the kids like--turns out my kids like ALL types of camps! <br />
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The <strong>first year</strong>, we did a drama camp, a couple of art camps and a general sports/play camp. The Pumpkin tried a soccer camp one week, but it did not really engage her (either because of her age or interest--maybe both). The Pumpkin really enjoyed the drama camp and the art camp, which was no surprise given how much she's always loved <a href="http://caramamamia.blogspot.com/2011/02/oh-drama.html" target="_blank">drama</a> and <a href="http://caramamamia.blogspot.com/2010/03/arts-and-crafts-party.html" target="_blank">arts and crafts</a>. The Pookie struggled a bit with the drama camp, even though his age-group was half art and half drama, and he had a hard time with the all-day art camp (the other art camp was just a half day). I think his issues were due to a combination of his young age (5 years old at the time) and the <a href="http://caramamamia.blogspot.com/2016/06/and-diagnosis-for-boy.html" target="_blank">sensory issues he has</a>. I ended up picking him up early every day from the all-day art camp, and the drama camp let him work by himself on the art parts of the camp even if others had moved on to drama portion. They both LOVED the general sports/play camp, which is just like playing all sorts of games all day long! In fact, when we were coming up to a week I didn't have anything planned and I asked if they want to do one of the camps again, they wanted to go to the all day sports/play camp again. So I signed them up for it again, and they still loved it. They came home happy and exhausted. It was great!<br />
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The <strong>second year</strong>, the kids did the drama camp, an arts camp and the general sports/play camp again. Since the youngest (the Pookie) was now old enough for the STEM camps offered in my area, we added two of those: an invention camp and a science camp. The first week, they did the drama camp, which the Pumpkin LOVED but the Pookie did not. Now that the Pookie was 6, he was grouped with the Pumpkin's age group, and that class was large and did mostly drama. They'd start with art in the morning, which would go fine, but then the whole class transitioned into the big group to work on the play--and this was really hard for the Pookie. He does not do great with transitions, especially ones that involve joining big groups and can seem chaotic. This and similar transitions at that camp were very difficult for him, and by the afternoon he was tired and it was all just too much. He would slip out the door of the big room, not listen to the camp counselors or other people who worked there when they told him to go back, he'd throw fits when he felt forced to do something he didn't want, he tried to leave the building a few times. He could generally manage until afternoon snack time, and then they called me the first two days to pick him up and after that, we worked it out that I (or my mom) would just pick him up then. At the end of the camp day, I would come back for the Pumpkin, who was thriving in the artsy/drama world.<br />
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The next week, they had <a href="http://campinvention.org/" target="_blank">Camp Invention</a>. This was the first year they were going, and we were just coming off a rough week for the Pookie. I was concerned about how he would handle it, but I called the headquarters and talked with them, and the first day of camp I talked with the director onsite, and they all made me feel comfortable about how they could help him through. The adults at the camp were teachers during the school year, so they were quite used to handling kids of all types and were very confident that they could work with him. And boy, were they right. I can't express how impressed I was with that camp! They kids had a blast taking things apart, building new things, coming up with inventions and figuring out and describing how their inventions would work. They had science labs and made up their own mazes. It was AWESOME! And the director had really good ways of getting the Pookie through transitions and different ways to help him calm down when he was getting overstimulated. It was an absolutely wonderful week, and they kids immediately said they wanted to do it again! Unfortunately, it's only offered once a summer, but I promised them we'd sign them up for Camp Invention the next year. <br />
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Of course they went to the sports/play camp again that summer. In fact, they went three weeks to that camp over the summer. One of those weeks, the Pookie wanted to try soccer camp, which is offered at the same place. We signed him up for half days at the soccer camps, and then in the afternoons he went to the sports/play camp. The Pookie also did a half day at the art camp where we had to pick him up early the previous year. My mom picked him up after the morning camp and watched him at her house, while the Pumpkin did two half-day camps that made up a full day. The Pookie took the same class he had the previous year, which was a class where they build with Legos and draw. I had given him the option of taking a half day or staying the full day, and he picked half day. He wasn't sure he could do a full day at the camp, and I'm really glad he did just the morning camps, as I think it showed him he could handle the camp and be successful there. The Pumpkin took the Lego robotics camp and pottery camp, which she really enjoyed. In fact, they both really enjoyed those camps! The last camp they had was a science camp, which focused on the science of being spies! It was fun and interesting. <br />
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In addition to the actual camps, we also take the kids down to my inlaws' house every summer (and winter) for at least a week. My inlaws live in the mountains, in a rural area which is very much The Country. The kids get to play in the woods, hang out with their grandparents, aunt and uncles, and their cousin. They live about 5-6 hours away, so we don't get to see them as much as we'd like. That's why the week in the summer down there at "Camp Country" is so important to us. Last year, Londo couldn't go down and I couldn't take off from work, so instead I used their internet connection and worked down there for the week the kids were there. That way, the in laws could spend all day with the kids, but I was still the rule-enforcer about dinner and bedtime. It worked out great. <br />
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We are also lucky enough to live about 3 hours from the beach and have a timeshare at a place by the ocean. Not only that, but my parent recently bought a house in another town right by the ocean. If I could, I would live right on the beach. I grew up going to the beach every summer at my grandparents house, and I'm very excited that I can raise my kids with the same opportunity. The first summer of the camps, the timeshare week was before school was out, so we took the kids out of school for that. I had just switched jobs, so I didn't have a chance to take another whole week off. Instead, we went down for weekends to my parents' beach house. Last year, I make a point of saving my work vacation hours up so I could take the kids/family to the beach for two weeks (one week at the timeshare and later in the summer a week at my parents' house). Londo is not as much of a beach person as I am, and he couldn't come for the whole weeks both times, but he came down for about one and a half weeks. We all had a great time every time!<br />
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This summer has already started, but I'll save the report till the end of the summer. We are having a great time so far, and everyone is happy. I'm really proud of myself because I was able to plan out the whole summer early. With two summers already under my belt, and color-coded spreadsheets to track the camps (and costs), I knew how much we had to save to cover the summer and what camps I was for sure signing them up for--where they definitely wanted to go back and what they wanted to expand on or try out this year. The Pookie did great in his year of 1st grade, so I had more confidence about his ability to handle full days of camp. And because I knew what we were going to do early, I got the early-bird discounts for all the camps! Also, I was able to plan out our times at the beach and at the inlaws. I'm feeling pretty good about handling this summer break thing! Hopefully, I'll feel the same way by the end of the summer! caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-2114105599595582382016-06-29T10:50:00.000-04:002016-06-29T10:51:31.267-04:00Go Outside and Play!Since having kids, I've heard a lot of people joke about how their parents used to send them outside to play, maybe telling them not to come home until dark. The world seems to have changed, we all lament. Kids have play dates, instead of just going down the street to play with other neighborhood kids. Kids stay inside and play video games or watch TV instead of biking and running around the block. Back in our day, our parents told us to go outside and find something to do!<br />
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I don't disagree with any of that, but I remember it a little differently. I remember begging my parents to let me go out and play. We had a swing set and a jungle gym in our back yard. My best friend lived behind me, a quick jump over a low fence with a big rock right at the spot we'd climb over. We had tall trees for climbing and little traffic on the streets around my block. The park with a creek and the pool were right down the street, and more friends were a couple streets over. I always wanted to be outside playing with my friends. My parents didn't need to send me out! There was so much to do outside that I wanted to stay out all day!<br />
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I really like the neighborhood we live in now. There are lots of other kids and a nice pool. The playgrounds, however, are only okay. There are some of those plastic contraptions with something to climb up and in and a slide. Even when my kids were toddlers, they got bored on the small playground rather quickly. To get to the swings, we have to walk across the entire neighborhood, which my kids can't do on their own at this point. The neighborhoods just aren't the same these days.<br />
During the years when my kids were babies/toddlers/pre-schoolers, we would go out front to do sidewalk chalk and bubbles, and maybe a few of the kids close by would join, but it was only occasionally and had to be constantly monitored. The next few years, the kids were learning to ride bikes and scooters and the like, but my kids are not ones to clamor to do it on their own and head off around the block by themselves. So it was always a lot of effort on our part to go out and help them and be with them. It's always a good time, but it's more limited time since there are so few free hours we adults seem to have.<br />
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Now that my kids are a bit older, they are making friends in the neighborhood and wanting to do things with the other kids. But what are they to do with the other kids? <br />
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Well, we happen to have a very large backyard--one of the largest in any of the houses in this neighborhood (or in the nearby neighborhoods). We have plans to build a deck and re-do some of the landscaping at some point, but not for a while. The kitchen windows look right out into the backyard,<br />
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We've tried sending the kids out back to play soccer or whatever else, but it never lasts very long. The kitchen windows look right out into the backyard, so I can watch them from inside while making dinner or doing the dishes, so I would like to send them out back more. <br />
So after much research, I have found what I think will be the solution! I found <a href="http://www.lifetime.com/gallery/playground/playsets-and-swing-sets/monkey-bar-adventure/90143" target="_blank">this monkey bars/swing/slide playset</a>! I have read that it goes up to age 12, so we still have a few years that we can get good use out of it--not to mention that I'm pretty sure I will love it and I'm WAY over 12! <br />
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It is being delivered today, and we plan to set it up this weekend! I showed the kids before I bought it to make sure they thought they'd really use it, and at first my daughter was hesitant about the monkey bars, since she says she can't really do them. She also asked if I would push her on the swing, since she's not very good at pumping herself. And I'm thinking "Oh, my! We are DEFINITELY getting this now! I can't have kids who can't climb and swing on things!" Those were my staples in play when I was growing up, and I realize it is likely because I had the equipment in my own backyard and went out on it all the time. To her credit, after thinking about it she said she really did want the playset so that she could practice the monkey bars and get better at them. I added she should do that with the swing, too, and she agreed. <br />
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I want my kids to be able to go out back and have something right there to play on, something right in our yard so they can't say they are bored and come right back in. I want to give my kids the ability to develop their coordination and sense of adventure! Give them something that will help them grow and try new things and develop their athletic abilities. I want something their friends in the neighborhood want to come over and play with. I want them to have a fun backyard, like I did growing up. I want them to beg to go outside and play, even if I have to cook dinner or do other household stuff. <br />
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And I want the ability to watch them play on a summer evening while I sit on the (adult) glider and drink a glass of wine. Maybe I'll swing on some monkey bars, too. caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-26951805951003908182016-06-07T10:16:00.004-04:002016-06-07T10:16:54.092-04:00Being a Bus Stop ParentI love the bus stop.<br />
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I remember before my kids were in the public elementary school, I would drive through the neighborhood in the mornings and see all the kids and parents gathered at corner, waiting for the bus. I would think to myself that it was so nice to see all those neighborhood kids together and the parents talking to each other. That must be how you really get to know the other parents in the neighborhood, I realized.<br />
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And I was right!<br />
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When we first moved into the neighborhood, I was pregnant with the Pumpkin. Once moved in, we had the first baby... then the second... and our world condensed. Our focus at first was simply on surviving those baby and toddler years! Once the youngest was a toddler, we slowly started looking around. We would go outside to play with chalk or bubbles, and we'd wave and chat with neighbors. The kids would draw and blow bubbles with the kids who lived in the houses right around us. But it was irregular and short.<br />
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Once the kids started elementary school, I walked them up to the bus stop every morning. I would see the same parents and kids on the way there. We started chatting regularly, walking together. I even learned which kids went with which parents. And my kids started making real friends in the neighborhood.<br />
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Now, after the bus picks up the kids, I often stick around a few extra minutes to chat with other parents. I feel like we keep each other informed of what is going on. Oh, tomorrow the 1st graders need to remember their projects! Today the 3rd graders are doing testing in the afternoon? Tonight is the concert for the 4th and 5th grader chorus? Be careful when you cross that road with the kids, because people speed right through the intersection and almost hit one of the girls!<br />
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And I like that I get to know the kids, too. At Halloween, I walked around the neighborhood and really knew the kids who joined up with mine to trick or treat or just to chat. I see the kids at school and realize that the girl in the Pumpkin's after-school activity lives around the corner. The girl two houses down has become my daughter's best friend, and I am able to chat with her parents about what is going on.<br />
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I grew up in a very neighborly neighborhood, and I really wanted to raise my kids in similar type of neighborhood. The regular trips to the bus stop have been a wonderful way for me to feel the sense of community around me. We have a wonderful school, and it's great to get to know the kids and their parents better, especially when they live right around the corner. And now that it is becoming summer, we will again run into these kids and parents at the neighborhood pool. Because of the bus stop, my kids will have neighborhood friends to play with and I'll be able to chat with the other parents I've been getting to know, and the feeling of community will continue.caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-54339560216789568682016-06-03T14:59:00.002-04:002016-11-29T16:02:57.778-05:00And a Diagnosis for the BoyBefore the Pumpkin got her diagnosis of ADHD, we had a slightly different evaluation done for the Pookie. The Pookie was evaluated to see if he has Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). He does indeed have sensory issues, but it is not quite at the disorder level.<br />
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There were signs of sensory issues since he was a baby, and especially as a toddler.<br />
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He always needed strong input to his sense of touch. As a toddler, he didn't just run up and hug me, but instead would throw his whole body into me, full force. Every time. He can't just brush up against something, but bangs into things and people. There is no counting how many times I've had to remind him to "be gentle with Mommy" not because he is trying to hurt me (or anyone), but simply because soft touches don't really compute to him.<br />
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He always held his hands over his ears and freak out when there were loud noises, especially sudden ones. This could be difficult to deal with, like in public bathrooms with automated flushers! (I learned to keep a post-it note in my purse to put over the automated sensor while he used the potty, then I'd send him out of the stall before removing the post-it and letting it flush.) There was the jazz-for-kids concert I took them too, where he covered his ears and needed to move to the way back, while I hoped that he/we weren't offending the musicians. And of course the Marvel Universe Live! show we were all so excited about seeing, and within the first 5 minutes of bombs and gun blasts and lights flashing, Londo had to take him out of the entire building. Not just the auditorium, but the entire building! When he needed to go potty, Londo convinced him to go back to the building to use the potty there, but Londo told me that his entire body go more and more tense as they got closer (Londo was carrying him and felt it very clearly).<br />
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The lights at the Marvel show were an issue in addition to the noise. Sudden bright lights? Freaks him out. And just in general when there is a lot going on, he is overwhelmed. All those years of tough drop offs are partially to do with his getting overwhelmed when he would walk into a classroom. Too much all at once, especially if a bunch of kids try to run up and greet him. Sensory overload.<br />
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And then there is the picky eating. Have I mentioned the picky eating? Huh. I don't think I have. Apparently there is a name for kids who are more than just picky eaters--resistant eaters (it really is a thing). And that is what he is. We have struggled for years with his resistance to try anything new or different, and the handful of things he does eat has dwindled, since he gets tired of foods and/or doesn't like them any more. And no one better dare say to me (again!) that if he's hungry enough, he will eat what we server. Turns out? He won't. He'll just get hungrier and crankier, and I have to deal with that on top of everything else! We've tried a few different approaches and seem to be making progress over the years. It's a taste issue, smell issue (he actually doesn't have a good sense of smell), texture issue and a mouth/tongue mechanics issue.<br />
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When anyone says "Smell that!" The Pookie's response is "I can't smell." Not that he can't smell that thing, but he means in general he doesn't really smell things. I don't have a great sense of smell, but I certainly can smell things. He has difficulty either smelling or processing the smells or maybe both. Even when he sticks his nose directly into a flower, he just kind of shrugs like he doesn't really notice the smell.<br />
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So that covers the senses, right? Did you know there are a few more? There is also:<br />
- Vestibular - the sense for movement and balance in relation to gravity. This sense tells your brain if you are right-side up, upside down or moving left, right, forward, backward, etc.<br />
- Proprioception - the sense of where your body parts are. This sense is used all the time when you are moving, for example I can walk up stairs without watching my feet because of this sense letting my brain know where my foot is.<br />
- Interoception - the sense for what's going inside your body, such as when you are hungry and when you need to go to the bathroom.<br />
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Every one of those senses have all an issue for the Pookie to some degree. They have not been an issue to the degree where he is unable to function in almost all circumstances. But he was having issues in daycare and pre-school, which is when we figured out there is something going on with him.<br />
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In daycare, he was just sometimes "difficult" or overwhelmed. But in pre-school, we specifically put him in a pre-school that had a teacher who understood that 4-year-old boys would act like 4-year-old boys! They are active! They like to bump into each other! But by the middle of that year, the teacher pulled me aside and said perhaps there was something more going on. Then things got better... for a while... then they got bad again in the spring. And she pulled me aside again and said she was worried about kindergarten. She recommended that we look into this and try to figure out what was going on with him. When I mentioned we were worried about him being labeled (like with ADHD), she pointed out that if we didn't get him a label, the schools would--and we likely wouldn't be happy with that label (such as bad kid, problem child, etc.).<br />
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After getting Londo's buy-in, I went to our pediatrician. While we talked, the Pookie played on the fire engine-shaped examination table, making constant noise and being constantly in motion. The pediatrician asked me, "Is he usually like this?" I looked at the Pookie and said yes, he was. The pediatrician suggested that we get him evaluated for sensory processing disorder, and she gave me some names. (If I haven't mentioned it before, I love our pediatrician!)<br />
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There were questionnaires and an evaluation appointment. He has sensory issues, but not quite at the disorder level. We did occupational therapy (OT) for a while, and we learned a lot about sensory diets and ways to calm him down when he was overwhelmed and exercises to help his coordination and crossing the midline and all sorts of things! We bought him special shirts that squeeze his body and fidget toys to help him distract his body so he can focus on learning.<br />
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He had an amazing kindergarten teacher, who worked with him and us and the school to put in place a behavioral intervention plan (BIP) to provide goals for him and a path to reach those goals, including tools and accommodations. The teacher and the school met with us and discussed and implemented ideas to help him not get so overwhelmed and to calm down if he got too upset.<br />
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He is now in 1st grade, and doing great! Early in the school year, we talked with his 1st grade teacher about his issues and what he might need (fidgets, gum, noise-canceling headphones, a rocking chair for morning meeting/circle time). His teacher uses tools he has seen be successful with kids in his previous classes, and he has also given us ideas for helping the Pookie at home. All in all, the Pookie doing really well with his behavior and in school in general!<br />
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He is an amazing, creative kid. He is so interesting and interested in all sorts of things. He is energetic and thoughtful. The sensory issues we can work through. After all, he totally gets it from me! So I understand, and we all work together to get where we need to be in life. Everyone has something, right? Sensory issues? We can deal with that.caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-24456941175032002332016-06-01T13:00:00.003-04:002016-11-29T16:01:51.804-05:00Still Fidgeting, But Now With DiagnosisIt came as no surprise to me or Londo when we got the diagnosis that the Pumpkin has ADHD. There have been YEARS of high activity, constant motion and fidgeting, impulsiveness, inability to focus, inability to organize, forgetfulness of tasks and trouble keeping her attention on tasks. I had suspected it for a long, long time. I'm not saying all fidgety babies will have ADHD, but my daughter was fidgety and had other signs and does indeed have ADHD.<br />
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Not only at home have we seen these issues, but also in daycare and every year of school. In the daycares, the teachers would pulling me aside many times saying how the Pumpkin wouldn't sit down and participate in circle time. I remember thinking that not all kids can sit that long. But then I'd stay and observe, and she'd be the only one not sitting, moving around, finding other things to get into to the entire time the other kids sat in circle time. And then there were her issues with nap time. Nap time? What is that? Oh that time period when my daughter has to stay put for over an hour in a darkened room with nothing to do? Yeah, that generally did not go well.<br />
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In kindergarten at the Montessori school, I had to go in to meet with the teacher and the director to discuss the Pumpkin's behavior issues. She is spirited, I'd think, and high energy! Aren't there a lot of kids like this? Well, just like the fidgeting as a baby, some kids are just <i>more</i> high energy than others. And the Pumpkin is a lot more. The Pumpkin needed some special treatment (now I've learned the official word is "accommodations") to get her through the day. The teacher explained she did some research on the internet and found some things she was going to try. Ways to keep her on task, a place for her to take a break and calm down, things like that. She mentioned that she found these ideas on a site about kids with ADHD, but she was careful to add that she wasn't saying the Pumpkin had ADHD and that she wasn't suggesting a diagnosis. Just that they had some good ideas for the Pumpkin.<br />
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At the time, I was scared of those four letters. When I was growing up, those letters were just starting to be used, and they meant something was <i>wrong</i> with that kid! I didn't understand what it really meant, and I was scared that my child had something wrong and would be labeled.<br />
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We got through kindergarten, and the teacher was great working with the Pumpkin. But now I was also starting to research tips for dealing with high-energy kids, which led me to websites about ADHD. I started reading and learning about it. My eyes were opening, and I was starting to understand what ADHD really means and how my daughter had all the symptoms. Londo still wasn't ready to label her with anything, and I agreed. But boy, those sites helped me understand that she wasn't trying to be difficult or make things harder than they needed to be--her brain works differently from mine and others. For many things, she needs help and guidance, not parents getting mad and yelling.<br />
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A few weeks into 1st grade, I got an email from the Pumpkin's teacher asking me to come in and talk about some issues she was having. When I sat down with the 1st grade teacher, she explained to me that the Pumpkin was having issues sitting for long periods, focusing on her work, being easily distracted. As every teacher (or even every adult!) who has had the Pumpkin would say, she is very smart! But... she sure did have a lot of energy! And she wasn't finishing her work. She was distracting other kids. Etc., etc., etc. I explained that I was pretty sure she had ADHD, but that we were not ready to get it diagnosed. The teacher was understanding, and we discussed things she could do in the classroom to help the Pumpkin stay focused and get her work done. She was a fabulous teacher, and we worked with her throughout the year to make sure the Pumpkin had a good year.<br />
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And 2nd grade, pretty much repeat the paragraph above... email a few weeks in... meeting with teacher... not ready for a diagnosis... I let the 2nd grade teacher know what seemed to work and not work or stopped working for the Pumpkin in 1st grade. At the parent-teacher conference in November, the report was overall good, but she was still having some problems with focusing and finishing her work. Londo and I talked with the teacher about whether or not these issues were interfering with her learning. She said not at that time. But as the year progressed, the Pumpkin was finishing less and less work in class. She would bring it home, and we'd make her finish the school work with her homework. It was excruciating!<br />
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In late spring of her 2nd grade year, the teacher emailed again, saying that the issues were now interfering with her learning. The teacher and we parents tried different incentives, but it was still a struggle for her. Londo and I final agreed that it was time to get her diagnosed.<br />
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I remember the day I had my eureka moment about myself, when I realized I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. My entire life felt like it made sense. Just having a name for what had been going on for YEARS made me feel better. I was able to look it up and find ways to deal with it.<br />
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I wanted that for the Pumpkin.<br />
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I met with our pediatrician, basically saying "You know how we have all suspected she has ADHD? We'd like it official now." The pediatrician, who has been the Pumpkin's pediatrician literally since birth, nodded knowingly and gave me names of people who do evaluations.<br />
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That spring into summer, we set up all the appointments for the in-depth evaluations. Her 2nd grade teacher, Londo and I filled in numerous questionnaires about the Pumpkin. She went into the appointments and was tested for ADHD, learning disabilities, IQ, and some other things.<br />
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Near the end of the summer, Londo and I met with the woman who conducted the evaluations. She reviewed the final report with us. There was nothing surprising in it to Londo and myself. The Pumpkin is extremely smart, very creative and interesting, and great at verbally communicating. There was no doubt at all that she has ADHD. She did not have any learning disabilities. And she also has a diagnosis for general anxiety. Yes, yes, yes and yes. Londo and I just nodded and looked at each other knowingly.<br />
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It helped to have the official diagnosis going into 3rd grade. Our school is really fantastic about how they handle different types of kids and all of their needs. We put in place a 504 plan, which documents the accommodations the Pumpkin needs in order to function in class at the same level as her peers. Having the diagnosis and the 504 plan in place means that what she needs is recorded in official documents so that every year each new teacher will know what she needs. The email from a new teacher a few weeks into a school year won't be needed, because we already have information on record and I will reach out to the teachers ahead of time letting know the teachers know about the diagnosis, that she has the 504 plan and that we will support anything the teacher needs.<br />
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Now, a year after starting her evaluation, Londo and I are both very knowledgeable about ADHD. Her brain works differently than (most of) her classmates, and that's okay. As we've talked about with her, there are lots of amazing people in the world who have ADHD (her favorite example I gave was Iron Man, because come on! Tony Stark definitely has ADHD!). Having the letters makes no difference in who she is as a person nor her behavior. She is going to be herself, and we love her for it.<br />
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This kid has amazing energy and is interesting and is fun and funny and has so many wonderful qualities. She is still very fidgety, but that is just part of the awesome package that is my vivacious, interesting and awesome daughter. This child is going places in life, and we'll help support her getting there.caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-55638692470455723032016-05-31T17:07:00.001-04:002016-05-31T17:07:33.883-04:00I Blink, and Years Have Gone BySo. Here I am again. It's been about two years since I last posted anything, and I am still muddling through this parenthood thing.<br />
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I miss writing. I miss recording my kids' lives. I miss writing out the issues we're going through so that I can better make sense of things. I miss thinking about the stuff that happens in terms of stories. So, I'm going to try to start back up.<br />
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The Pumpkin is at the end of 3rd grade, the Pookie is finishing up 1st grade. They are amazing, smart, healthy and (I can honestly say) happy children. We have our issues... who doesn't? But I would like to work through these issues and even share these issues with others as we figure stuff out.<br />
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Even though I often miss blogging, the thing that gave me a kick in the pants to start again is getting the weekly update from my daughter's class--in reading, they are learning about how autobiographies, journals and blogs communicate information. I read that and thought about how much I wish I was still blogging. Why not make that wish come true? I have the power to do it! And hopefully, I will again regularly record my experiences and their activities.caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-49739459794927241352014-06-08T19:00:00.000-04:002014-06-09T17:20:33.704-04:00Working Out and Changing My LifestyleRight about a year ago, things fell into place for me to start working out and getting back into shape. You see, there were two main reasons I didn’t feel I could prior to that:<br />
1. I didn’t have the time to work out.<br />
2. I didn’t have a place to work out.<br />
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I’m a morning workout person. I’ve tried other times, and I can manage in the afternoons on occasion but not so much at night. I read an article like 12 years ago in a fitness magazine that was talking about how different bodies have different ideal work out times and how it was difficult to keep up a regular routine if you were forcing your body into a time that wasn’t ideal for it. <br />
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It was a eureka moment for me. Ah ha! No wonder I struggle to keep up with work outs unless I do them in the mornings! And no wonder Londo always chooses to work out late at night, when that sounds like misery to me! On the flip side, Londo could not understand how I could wake up really early and jump into a work out. Learning that about myself so long ago has helped me over the years realize what I need to do to get into and stay in shape: Have a work out planned and wake up early to do it.<br />
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So I couldn’t just wait until the kids were asleep and work out then, though I’d tried that a few times. It simply wasn’t working. I was at work all day long, and I didn’t want to take extra time to work out near my office because I’d rather get home in time to have dinner with my kids. And I have been on morning duty for the kids since they were born, and they’ve need pretty constant attention in the mornings. Not to mention the sleep issues that have been a part of our evenings and nights since my lovely, but not-good-sleeper daughter was born.<br />
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But last spring (Spring 2013), the kids were finally old enough and capable enough to be left alone in the mornings for brief periods of time. They were old enough to remember that if Mommy wasn’t in bed when they woke up, she was downstairs working out. They were old enough to play for a while by themselves or with each other before getting ready for the day. They were old enough to sit by themselves/with each other at breakfast and watch a show without me there. Finally, I could find the time (as long as I woke up early enough) to work out in the mornings!<br />
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The other issue was also solved last spring. I’m a yoga and cardio person. I like active/power yoga, aerobics and dance-type work outs. For aerobics and dance, I need room. For yoga, I need a quiet, calm place. The only area in our house that could be quiet in the mornings and have enough space for the workouts I like was the basement. But the basement was set up as a play room. A very rarely used playroom, but full of those large toddler toys that we didn’t have room for anywhere else in the house.<br />
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But the kids were no longer toddlers. They didn’t play with the toys, and we were ready to get rid of them. Every spring, my neighborhood has a yard sale. Anyone can participate just by setting their stuff out on the driveway/yard and start selling. And we did! We put out all the toddler toys and even some baby toys we still had. We sold all sorts of random stuff we didn’t need or want anymore. We didn’t bring anything back into the house, even if it meant giving stuff away at the end.<br />
The kids also set up a lemonade stand, which was really cute, even though they have no concept of how to run a business. ;-)<br />
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With all the toddler toys out of the basement, I had all sorts of room down there! When I was young, my dad bought me gymnastics mats to <a href="http://caramamamia.blogspot.com/2008/03/passing-non-olympic-torch.html" target="_blank">practice on at home</a>. We got those mats from my parent’s house, and we spread them out on the floor. Londo hooked up an old DVD player and even an old VHS player so I could work out to different videos. I made a corner for my hand weights and yoga mats. I was finally all set up!<br />
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I started with my yoga, and then some aerobic VHS tapes. I quickly realized that the old aerobics workouts were way out of date. These days, the fitness world was doing circuit training and cross-fit training. Just as our understanding of what was the best things to eat and what to avoid eating had changed, so had the way we work out our bodies. <br />
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I did a little research and then bought Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred. I did the Shred for the whole 30 days, 10 days at each level. By the end, I could see the difference. I was starting to get definition in my arms and legs. I was feeling good. I was taking the stairs up and down four flights without changing my breathing. <br />
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After the Shred, I decided I was ready for more. A lot more. I decided to do the Insanity! It was a two-month long program, extremely intensive, cardio-based workout program. It was HARD! And I LOVED it! I’d heard great things about the P90X workout, but considering my penchant for cardio (aerobics and dance), I knew that the Insanity workout was the right one for me. <br />
In addition, I started running. Running! Me! The person who used to say, “They only way I’m running is if someone is chasing me!” But Londo got me into it by working with me slowly. I am slow. Meanwhile, he is fast. Very fast. So for him to run at such a slow pace just to help me keep going and find some enjoyment in it was really awesome. <br />
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But that’s not all. I also got an app for my iPhone (MyFitnessPal) where I could track what I was eating and pay attention to how all the calories add up. It’s amazing to start realizing how quickly they add up—finish a kid’s left over goldfish, get a fancy coffee drink, grab some McDonalds while on the go, eat seconds because the meal was so good, plus dessert and wine. Once I started to actually track each and every thing I ate, especially after setting a goal and trying to stick to it, I stopped eating mindlessly. I stopped eating when I was full. I weighed my decisions on food choices. I calculated how much I could eat for lunch if I wanted to have some wine with dinner. I PAID ATTENTION to what I was eating, and what I was doing. <br />
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In fact, I bought myself and Londo (for Father’s Day) the Jawbone UP lifestyle tracking bracelets. I set goals for my sleep and for the amount of steps I’d take each day (steps being the equivalent to activity). And boy, does that bracelet make you pay attention! The bracelet also lets you record actual activities, so I could time my workouts and record the type of activity and the intensity of those workouts. It even integrates with my MyFitnessPal app! <br />
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So not only did I find the time and place for my workouts, I also completely changed my lifestyle. Now, I eat mindfully. I track my calories and activities. I make smart choices in what I do, what I eat, when I go to sleep. And it has paid off. Not only did I lose quite a bit of weight (although I was not really overweight to begin with), but I now have strength and definition. Now I am in shape, and healthy and feel really good. Not just because I look good—and I do look good!—but because I feel good. Really good. caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-17984684869340631042014-05-14T19:00:00.000-04:002014-05-19T13:03:01.237-04:00My Fabulous Mother's DayI know not everyone has great or even good Mother's Days. I get so frustrated for my friends who are disappointed by sucky Mother's Days. However a person feels about Valentines Day, religious holidays or government holidays, even if they are "made-up" holidays, I really feel that Mother's Day and Father's Day are important.<br />
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Parenting is hard! Raising kids is full of ups and downs. Mothers and fathers work really hard for their children, and I believe that all most people want is a little recognition and appreciation! Is one day a year too much to ask? Even if you are lucky enough to constantly get recognition and appreciation, one full day of being able to take it easy is not too much to ask.<br />
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With young children, the onus of Mother's Day (or Father's Day) definitely falls to the partner. (This must be hard for single parents!) Sure, my kids make me cute things in their classes, and the schools have Muffins for Moms, but the day itself and purchased presents can only be handled by an adult. (Which reminds me, I better start planning for Father's Day!)<br />
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My husband is just fantastic! He is especially good at being thoughtful and planning in advance. He never just buys any old cliched gift, but instead really thinks about the person he is buying the gift for and what they would find meaningful. (One year before my birthday, I actually had to tell him that sometimes I just want the cliched chocolate or jewelry or lingerie! So he bought me all three for my birthday.) I wish I had his talent for gift buying, but I've at least learned a lot from him.<br />
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And on Mother's Day? He basically gives me the gift of the whole day! I get to hang out with him and my kids or without them in any way I want. I get to have the joy of playing with the kids or sitting in my bed without any of the frustrations that come up in normal activities.<br />
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This year was just fabulous. And I'm going to write out my whole day so that I'll always remember how fabulous my Mother's Days are thanks to him and the kids.<br />
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Londo woke me up with breakfast in bed at the agreed upon time of 9:00. He made one of my favorite breakfasts: a homemade breakfast sandwich with Canadian bacon-type of ham, scrambled eggs and cheese. He included fruits and a perfectly-fixed cup of coffee. Not only that, but I woke up to him and the kids coming in the room singing "Happy Mother's Day to you..." Each child held a tulip, while Londo held the tray with breakfast. Then they all kissed me and left me alone to eat my breakfast.<br />
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Yes, it was as perfect as it sounds.<br />
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After breakfast, I went down to open my presents, which Londo had the kids pick out on the internet and make me cards. I got a lavender bath set from the Pumpkin and two magnetic sheets to slide pictures into and hang on the fridge from the Pookie. Super cute stuff, and they really thought about what I might like (Daddy's teaching them well)! Londo got me gifts in a theme. The theme was "strong women" he told me as I opened the gift bag. I got an <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Back-Black-Amy-Winehouse/dp/B000N2G3RY" target="_blank">Amy Winehouse CD</a>, a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Four-Record-Miranda-Lambert/dp/B005DTL958/ref=sr_1_2?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1400088086&sr=1-2&keywords=miranda+lambert" target="_blank">Miranda Lambert CD</a> and the DVD set of the short-lived, totally campy TV show <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleopatra_2525" target="_blank">Cleopatra 2525</a>... a show I totally loved and we'd been talking about recently. In addition, Londo had done all the dishes! Fabulous gifts, each and every one!<br />
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I went back up to sit in bed with my computer and immediately put the CDs into my iTunes. And listen to them, of course! I got out of bed before noon (11:45, but that still counts!), took a shower and then had lunch. A fantastic, easy morning. I wanted to spend the day working on a couple projects, which I did next. I finished going through and filing or throwing piles of paper I had in the guest room/craft room.<br />
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Once the room was clear (I'm not going to count the piles hidden in the closet), I set up the sewing machine I bought a few months ago. And then, I watched the DVD that came with machine and set it all up! I wound the bobbin! I threaded the bobbin! I threaded the top thread! And then? I practiced a few lines of stitches to make sure it was all working correctly and that I didn't mess it up. And IT WORKED!<br />
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I'm thrilled! I've been wanting to start sewing for a long time, and now I have the machine AND it is all set up just waiting for me to make the pillow I've been planning to start with. The Pumpkin got a sewing machine for Christmas (she'd been wanting one for a while), and I had told her that once I set up my machine and start getting the hang of it, we'd get her machine set up and start sewing together! I'm so excited!<br />
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It was a lovely day outside, so with my projects complete, I went out and sat on the glider looking through sewing books while the kids played. Londo was going to grill, but apparently wasps made a nest in our grill since last summer. He moved indoors to cook me steak and veggies. In addition, he pointed out that my dad was likely going to be home alone for dinner, since my mom was at her beach house for the weekend. After getting my approval, he called my dad to invite him over for dinner. And my dad told him that my mom was on her way back and would be home in time for dinner. So I immediately called her up and invited her over!<br />
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It was really great to have them over for Mother's Day dinner. And I could see that it made my mom especially happy too, making me realize that my siblings and I need to plan a special celebration for our mom on the Saturday of Mother's Day weekend. She may say that she doesn't want anything and wants us to spend time with our families getting pampered by them, but I could easily see that it made her so happy to have Mother's Day dinner with us. I regret not realizing that sooner and planning something that she couldn't say no to.<br />
<br />
Londo put the kids to bed while I saw my parents out. That night, I just hung out in our bed playing games on my phone and watching the Murphy Brown Mother's Day special. Londo had been having a really hard time with allergies, but he spent the entire day not letting it show. He got up with the kids early, did all those wonderful things (including mowing the lawn so we could go outside) without even seeming like he was tired or dealing with bad allergies. And though he was trying to stay awake to have some romantic time with me, I told him to go to sleep early. I had a fabulous day and was enjoying the TV shows and games on my phone.<br />
<br />
It was just a fabulous day! Everything was wonderful! I would have been fine to simply have a day without the kids fighting and me not having to do dishes. But this day, as the other Mother's Days, was well beyond just making me feel fine. It made me so happy. I feel so loved and appreciated and respected!<br />
<br />
Too bad every day isn't Mother's Day! ;-)caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-51940563024951696292014-05-03T15:18:00.003-04:002014-05-03T15:18:29.148-04:00Second Child, First Kindergarten OrientationYesterday was the Pookie's kindergarten orientation! This was a first for us, since the <a href="http://caramamamia.blogspot.com/2012/09/a-reprieve-from-elementary-school.html" target="_blank">Pumpkin stayed at the Montessori school through kindergarten</a>. The Pumpkin started elementary school <a href="http://caramamamia.blogspot.com/2013/09/a-week-of-firsts.html" target="_blank">in first grade</a>, and they are both so excited that they will be going to the same school next year!<br />
<br />
After walking the Pumpkin to the bus stop in the morning, I talked with the Pookie as we walked back home. I reminded him that we were going to his kindergarten orientation later that morning, and answered some questions he had.<br />
<br />
He asked if he was going to start in kindergarten tomorrow (everything in the future is tomorrow to him), and I once again described the seasons and how it was spring and soon would be summer and then it would be fall. And <i>that's</i> when he would start school. In the fall. And then he asked, "So I get to go tomorrow?" Sigh. We are working on the concept of time.<br />
<br />
He asked if he would be in the Fives' room with the Pumpkin. His current preschool/daycare has their rooms by age, and he goes into the room with the five-year-olds in the afternoon, where his sister also goes after school. So I explained to him that he'd be in the Fives' room at the new school, which is called kindergarten, and the Pumpkin would be in a different room--the Sevens' room, which is called 2nd grade. But, I told him that he would get to ride on the bus with his sister every day!<br />
<br />
After walking her to the bus and watching her ride off in the bus every day for the last 9 months, he is REALLY excited to ride the bus. Especially with his sister! In his words, "I want to sit next to my beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, BEAUTIFUL sister on the bus!"<br />
<br />
When we got to the kindergarten orientation, it started with the Pookie writing his own name on his name tag! (He learned that in the last few months, and he's getting really good!) I had brought the Pumpkin's lunch with us, since I was in a hurry in the morning and figured I would just bring it in when we got there. So while we waited for the orientation to begin, the front office called the Pumpkin to the office to get her lunch. It was so cute to see them both in the elementary school hall together! They were excited and hugged each other.<br />
<br />
Then the orientation started. A group of the future kindergarteners went into one room, and the parents were to go into another room. The Pookie suddenly shied away, saying he was scared. Neither of my kids is great with transitions, and the Pookie has an especially hard time going into groups or classes on his own. And he is especially clingy to me. So I started to ask a teacher if I could just go in with him, but I was hesitant, since I knew once we were in he would not let me go easily. Thankfully, Londo knew all of the issues going on, swooped the Pookie up in a fun way, and got him into the classroom, pointing out the cool carpet and other things as they went.<br />
<br />
I went into the other classroom to submit the paper work and register the boy for kindergarten. Londo met me after just a minute, letting me know that the Pookie was in the room and doing fine, listening to the book a teacher was reading to the kids.<br />
<br />
We registered the Pookie, and then we went into another area where the principal talked to us about the school and starting kindergarten and the Core 2.0 Curriculum they use at the school. While she was talking, the kids came into the other side of the room and were coloring. The Pookie was as happy as could be, chatting with the other kids and having fun coloring. When they came over to us, he was so excited! He was LOVING everything about it!<br />
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Best of all? The next thing we did was take a ride on a school bus!!! We went out front and got on a bus that took us around the neighborhood. It was so cool! And it'd been so long since I'd been on a school bus!<br />
<br />
One other cute thing: When we were leaving the last classroom to go to the bus, there was a box of legos sitting on the floor with quite a few legos left out on the ground. My little guy went over, saying indignantly, "Someone left the legos out!" He started cleaning them up! I told him to leave it so the kid who left it out could clean it up and so we could go on the bus. But what a neat guy! He was ready to clean up and keep the room neat, which gives me hope for him and what he's learning in his preschool!<br />
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It was a really neat experience for him, and for us. It will be hard to wait for the elementary school to start, but we still have to finish spring, then summer and then start in fall. Which I know I'll have to explain many more times until school starts, and I plan to show him on his calendar and we can mark off the days, if need be. But that's okay. He's learning so much, and I know he'll understand that soon, too.caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-7914319201875432202014-04-24T19:24:00.002-04:002014-04-24T19:26:17.780-04:00The Beauty of My Children in Two Poems<span style="font-size: x-small;">Poem from September 2012</span><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: x-small;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Shine of Moon</span></strong><br />
<br />
Her beauty amazes me...<br />
<br />
Her long curls<br />
spiral<br />
down <br />
her <br />
back.<br />
<br />
Her pale skin that elegant <br />
shade of white and rose<br />
that women bleach and <br />
paint to try to attain.<br />
<br />
The sprinkling of freckles<br />
across <br />
her nose and checks,<br />
light <br />
brown and soft looking.<br />
<br />
Her almond eyes, my shape eyes, crinkling<br />
when she smiles her engaging <br />
smile, laughs her infectious <br />
laugh, grins in her incorrigible way.<br />
<br />
Her long, lean <br />
body is steady <br />
sure<br />
strong<br />
balanced.<br />
<br />
Her expressive face<br />
announces her intentions,<br />
determined in her goal or<br />
anxious in her need, tight<br />
with anger or free with love.<br />
<br />
She has the beauty of the moon, <br />
pale and engaging, <br />
bright and interesting,<br />
so lovely it's hard to look away.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Glow of Sun</span></strong><br />
<br />
His beauty enchants me...<br />
<br />
His face and eyes are round with apple dumpling cheeks.<br />
The hazel of his eyes are becoming the same rainbow as mine,<br />
brown, green, yellow and blue melding together, shining bright.<br />
His curls spring close when his hair is short, loop large when<br />
his hair grows to droop below his ears, soft and silky.<br />
He smiles that smile, stares up with those eyes, charming<br />
everyone who benefits from his attention. He gives a devilish<br />
smile, almost taunting with his eyes, face shining with naughty <br />
excitement, daring you to say no, turning back on the charm <br />
when you do say no. New freckles occasionally appear, on <br />
his chin, his arms, his legs. His body is growing leaner, longer. <br />
His bottom is still round, his hands are still full, but his body is <br />
no longer little and padded. He shines like the sun, warm <br />
and full, strong and gorgeous, so handsome it draws you in.caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-59454283406658115322014-04-23T16:20:00.002-04:002014-04-23T16:22:21.841-04:00In Truth, It's Not EasierI've been a parent for just over 7 years now. It's been wonderful. And a pain in my butt. And rewarding. And madness-inducing. And everything in between. <br />
<br />
I've strived to be honest about what parenthood has been like to me. On this blog, I spent years writing about the good, the bad and the ugly. In real life and on Facebook, I share the joy and the pain. After all, being a parent is not easy, and anyone who says different is either a liar, delusional, a bad parent or extremely lucky (possibly all of those). <br />
<br />
During the early years, the baby years, I struggled. But I kept thinking that it would get easier. That we'd get through the developmental and growth spurts and make it to the other side. The thing is, there is no other side. Just as life itself is really a circle, a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, so is parenthood. <br />
<br />
I now have a 7 year old and an almost 5 year old. It's not easier to parent them, but it is different in so many ways. Their personalities don't change, but what they are dealing with and how they act do change. <br />
<br />
There are different challenges to having a 7-year-old girl who gives me sass than the challenges of her looking at me defiantly while doing what I just told her not to do when she was a toddler. There are different challenges to having an almost-5-year-old boy who says I'm a mean mommy because I make him take a bath than the challenges of him throwing a tantrum and trying push me away when he needed his diaper changed. <br />
<br />
What I've come to realize is that it's all variations on a theme. Their themes. So it doesn't necessarily get easier to parent them as they get older, but the challenges changes. The dynamics change. The tricks and techniques I and Londo use as parents have to adapt.<br />
<br />
And though I believe it is so important to talk about the difficulties and not paint parenthood in some unrealistic way, I also believe it's vital to keep in mind the wonderful aspects of being a parent. <br />
<br />
My daughter still is an amazing communicator and loves to snuggle up to us, just like when she was a toddler. My son still tells me how much he loves me and is great at puzzles and putting like things together, just like when he was a toddler. <br />
<br />
We <em>still</em> deal with developmental regressions (and corresponding leaps forward) on a quarterly basis with both kids. And though the regressions are and always will be frustrating, the leaps forward are incredible! The things they can do now! It's just amazing!<br />
<br />
So, no, it isn't easier. But it is still absolutely worth every second of the ups and downs to watch these wonderful kids of mine grow, develop and learn. caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8372252427572428194.post-47828781863442765132013-09-02T22:46:00.002-04:002013-09-02T22:46:47.470-04:00A Week of FirstsThe Pumpkin just stared 1st grade this past week. For the other 6 year olds in the neighborhood, this means going back to school in the next grade up. For the Pumpkin, this means starting in elementary school for the first time. Last year, <a href="http://caramamamia.blogspot.com/2012/09/a-reprieve-from-elementary-school.html" target="_blank">we had a bit of reprieve</a> because she stayed at the Montessori school in the classroom that was ages 3 through 5 and included a "Kindergarten Class" for the 5 year olds. So we didn't deal with the OMG-my-kid-is-going-into-kindergarten-and-leaving-the-nest that all my other friends with 5 year olds went through. But the Montessori school only went through Kindergarten.<br />
<br />
So, we had a reprieve, but that ended this year.<br />
<br />
The Pumpkin was very excited to go to the elementary school for the first time, to ride a school bus for the first time and take the daycare's bus to aftercare for the first time! The local elementary school is excellent, and I was looking forward to gathering at the bus stop with the other parents. We meet the teacher at a back-to-school sneak peak the Friday before school started. She was warm, friendly, funny and great with the kids. We are very hopeful about the Pumpkin's transition to the new school.<br />
<br />
The first week has gone really well. The Pumpkin loves the teacher, has a friend in her class that was in her class at the Montessori school (I requested that they be in the same class on the sheet in the admittance paperwork), gets excited about the bus, and she even got to get food in the cafeteria (<a href="http://caramamamia.blogspot.com/2013/08/there-was-20-chance.html" target="_blank">hurray for no more peanut allergy!</a>). By day 2 or 3, the Pumpkin was a bit sad about not making a bunch of friends already. She is so outgoing and friendly that I think she expected to make a ton of friends immediately. Londo and I both talked with her about it and explained that making new friends does not always happen right away. That other kids may be nervous or shy and that all the kids need time to adjust to the new class. Those talks seemed to help a lot.<br />
<br />
Her teacher called parents on Friday to give an update about how the children are doing so far! She talked with Londo, and she said that the Pumpkin was doing well so far. How awesome is that for a 1st grade teacher to do?<br />
<br />
She is aware of the Pumpkin's previous school and that we were worried about her transition into the non-Montessori environment, and she agreed that is an area that the Pumpkin needs to continue working on. Based on what I've seen and what the teacher said, I do believe she'll fully transition soon.<br />
<br />
This is hard, though. This letting go of my child. This letting her out into the world without my supervision in a school with older kids. This is not sending her to a carefully picked daycare/school and letting her spend 3 years there with the comfort of knowing the kids and teachers and administration. She is in a new environment with new rules and new kids.<br />
<br />
I just want it all to go well, to go smoothly. I want everyone to love her and think she's fun and funny and realize how wonderful she is. I want her to make friends easily and enjoying learning and study hard even when it's difficult. Isn't that what all parents want for their kids? But we don't get to make that happen. Instead, we have to let them go and see how they do on their own. It won't all be easy and there will be ups and downs. But I know that she will be able to stand up for herself, she'll be friendly and nice to other kids, and she'll always have us as a safety net.<br />
<br />
First grade. Where did the time go? The nights may have been long, but the years have flown by.caramamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02327695885346537321noreply@blogger.com2