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Even Kid Bathing Suits Are Ridiculous

I've been annoyed with the bathing suit industry for most of my life. It's like common sense does not factor in their designs. For example, if women use band and cup sizes to find the right bra, why wouldn't bikini tops come in the same sizes? I know they usually do now, but for YEARS they came in small, medium or large, or they came in numbered sizes (size 6, 8, 10, etc.). And who doesn't know that humans often don't have the same size top as they do bottoms, so why wouldn't bathing suits always come in separate pieces?

But I thought that at least with children's bathing suits, they couldn't screw up too badly. Their just kids, so their sizes should be pretty simple. Now, I person don't like the idea of putting bikinis or even two pieces on a baby or toddler. It just doesn't look right to me. Those are adult styles designed to show off the body. IMO, children should be dressed more moderately. However, not everyone shares the same opinion, so I understand that the bathing suit industry makes bikinis and two pieces for infants.

What I can't get over is that one piece girl suits for babies and toddler don't have snaps at the bottom! Who designs these suits? Do they have or have they ever had children in diapers? Have they thought about what it's like to have to strip off a wet bathing suit in order to change a poopy swimmer diaper? And then try to get that wet bathing suit back on a squirmy toddler? RIDICULOUS!!!

Last year, after searching every store with childrens clothes in my area (which is considerable in the DC area), I found ONE bathing suit that had snaps at the bottom for my 3 month old. This year, that store is carrying some new line that I'm not ready to try, and no other stores have any with snaps. I just want a one piece bathing suit that has snaps at the bottom. Not a two piece*. Not something that looks like she's going surfing. And not something that is going to bug the crap out of me every time she needs a diaper change. URG!!

*Even if child's tankini was modest enough, I'm not good with sun block and am very nervous that I would miss a spot on my little girl's snow white belly. I just know the bathing suit top would pull up while my toddler was being her active self, and she'd end up with a bad burn on her precious skin. I'm simply not ready to attempt a two piece of any kind.


Becoming Mommy said…
Thankfully I have a boy and trunks and one of those surfer-style tops will keep him covered nicely.
as for the sunblock, I alway get him in the morning before he has any clothes on. There isn't a mm of that boy not protected by SPF 55.
Tranny Head said…
Yeah, well, I think lots of the clothes for little girls are appalling. I mean - they're like mini-hoochies walking around. Frequently, they look like paid prostitutes. The stuff people put on their children makes me gag.

Anyway, I'm lucky too because Sumo is male an can wear swimming trunks.
-goofydaddy said…
i guess with one-piece suits, you have to worry about differing torso lengths, and also suits are tight, so you'd have snaps not working after a while. and it is MUCH easier to change a diaper when it's just a bottom to take of and put back on. we got a cute two-piece where the top is not just a tankini, it's a full blown skirt that almost covers the bottoms too. so burning her belly won't happen. we load her up with sunscreen anyway.

looks like a giant greasy marshmallow with curly hair (and a cute 2-piece!)
TBM said…
My bebe wears a suit that looks like a shortie wetsuit, with a long zipper up the back, so it's not so hard to get on and off.

However, snaps would be genius. Or another zipper along the crotch?
OneTiredEma said…
I dunno, since last year (when Miss M was potty training) I am all about the tankinis. I get them from Old Navy--the ones with rash guards (UPF50 Tshirts).

I did suffer through one piece suits, though. Hmm. I guess those swim diapers just hold a lot.

Have you tried Lands End? They have really cute really practical stuff. No idea about the bathing suits but in general they have what I call "appropriate" kids' clothes--not the mini-trollope stuff you see at the mall. (Old Navy and Gap and Children's Place, I'm looking at you.)
La folle maman said…
It's probably too late for your trip but you could get them for the pool. One Step Ahead ( has something called Sun Smarties Adjustable Swim Diaper that's pretty cute (not as cute as the suits granted) but it looks like a viable "access" option. And they have a matched rash guard that is lightweight and covers most of the baby so they won't have to rely solely on the sunblock to protect them.
calicobebop said…
Oh, I remember the pain. My baby is four years old now and I'm still having trouble finding appropriate swim wear. I hope it gets easier on you!

BTW, I came over from Madame Queen's "Buffy" post and am glad to find another mom who loves Joss Whedon and his comics. :)
Kat said…
Could this be 'the big idea'? Become a mumpreneur...
I have no recommendations, just a good luck!
Charisse said…
Oh yeah, the baby ones are a pain if very cute. Since potty training and with the need to send Mouse to school already in bathing suit under clothes on swimming days, we are also "all about the tankinis". It's just way easier for her to manage by herself at 4. Lands End makes great ones, with nice long tops, very sporty with kid-appropriate appliques and such.
Shellie said…
I agree! Snaps or even velcro, please?
Colleen said…
(finally catching up...)

the kids' swimwear may be a little ridiculous, but it sure is cute!
We put Gavin in one of those long-trunk and swim t-shirt gettups and we just make sure we slather his back and belly, too, to make sure we get where the shirt might ride up. On Cooper I'm just reusing Gavin's old trunks (but no matching swim shirts), so I slather anything not covered by the swim diaper and then add the trunks and a plain t-shirt. I know my girlfriend with a little girl has to use the two-piece suits because her three year old is tall and the one pieces jsut don't fit her right (plus, hard on a newly pottytrained kid to get that whole suit down!). But you're totally right...I have NO idea why they don't make suits with snaps. ugh!
Catiebug330 said…
Look o further!!!
I am a mom who just started a new '09 Swimwear line for infant/toddler girls with snaps in the crotch. Plus, there are 2 rows to adjust to you growing baby.
The website is, the site should be up and ready by 4/17/09.
So check it out in a few days order a suit and Enjoy!!!

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