Did I mention yesterday how easy it is to get disconnected again? Apparently all it takes is a little adult crankiness, a little fussing from the baby and some miscommunication. I won't get into the details. But if I had to be brutally honest with myself (and you), it was probably 85% my fault. That adult crankiness I mentioned? Me.
Then I had a hard time putting the Pumpkin down for bed. By the time I was done, I was tired and even more cranky, so Londo and I didn't talk. This morning, we should have talked, but we didn't. The cleaning lady comes today, so we were busy picking up our crap so she can actually clean our floors.
This evening, I leave to go out of town for the weekend without husband or even baby!!! So either we will have to find time to talk while watching the baby and packing, or we both will let it go and realize that it really was nothing. I think this weekend away will be good for me, and therefore us, even though I'll miss them both so very much.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The Relationship Connection
Londo and I have a really good relationship. The kind of relationship that many other people don't even realize is possible. Not only are we still madly in love with each other after about 10.5 years together and almost 6 years of marriage, but we still really like each other. We are each others best friends and enjoy spending time together. We have many of the same interests, and even when we don't necessarily like the same things, we respect that the other person likes those things. Most importantly, we are able to talk about everything and anything and work out issue by communicating with each other.
This is not to say that things are always perfect with us. That would be unrealistic and a big fat lie. We get frustrated with each other, we bicker, we take things out on each other when we are upset about other things, we argue, we even have fights (although not often, I will admit it's become more common since the baby and sleep deprivation has come into our house). But we get through those things without major worries I think because of two major things: we have a firm foundation for our relationship so we are able to weather the storms, and we work really hard to stay connected and reconnect when we need it.
I've been working on this post in my head for a few weeks now. Let me tell you why. Londo and I have been going through a rough time together. I say together because we were not going through a rough time with each other. The rough time came from outside sources, including (but not limited to) the Pumpkin's 3-month-long (or longer, we'll see) sleep regression and all that brings with it, major deadlines at work for both of us, changes in our daycare situation, getting our finances in order (including meetings with a financial planner), getting our house in order, all sorts of commitments to family and friends, and the whole figuring out ourselves and our relationship as parents. For a while there, Londo and I seemed to spend very little time being together because we were always doing other things even when we were physically together. Our focus was on the Pumpkin, our jobs, our house, our friends and family, etc. Not on us. This lead to a disconnected feeling that is not good for any relationship.
I believe this happens in all relationships. People get caught up with all the other stuff going on and get disconnected from each other. This has happened to us off and on throughout our entire relationship. Luckily, Londo and/or I are pretty good at realizing that it is or has happened and then are able to focus on reconnecting. When Londo and I talk about being connected, it means mentally, emotionally and physically, because we believe all three of these things are vital for us and our relationship.
Just prior to our recent vacation, Londo pointed out to me that we'd both been very go go go and he thought we were pretty disconnected. While I had known that we weren't connected and we both so busy and sleepless and cranky, his pointing out the need to re-connect really hit me. He was so right. Step one for us is realizing and vocalizing it. Step two is starting to work on it.
The vacation was another whirlwind, but the ocean and the beach centers me. After finishing my work deadlines, I was able to be on vacation and go to the beach and feel a little more like myself. Once we got back from vacation, Londo and I really worked on reconnecting. We didn't turn on computers once the baby was asleep. We spent time together in the evenings and on weekends. We did things around the house together and with the baby. Most importantly, we talked to each other about all sorts of things and enjoyed each others company again. Oh, and we have been having rocking sex, of pre-baby caliber, in part thanks to my re-reading my own tips on getting in the mood (there is a reason I was able to write that post--these are things I have worked on over the years to help with that physically reconnecting aspect).
I'm happy to say that once again, Londo and I are thriving in our relationship, even before the Pumpkin started sleeping through the night again. Relationships are hard work, and I would never imply that every relationship could be perfect. In fact, the right choice for some people is to not be together. As for me, I truly, truly believe that Londo is my soulmate. We are definitely meant for each other. But even with that, we work hard not to take the other person for granted and to support the other person in any way we can. This has become especially important now that we have a child. Our child adds a new dimension to our relationship that we never had before, one that I see will continually change and we will need to constantly readjust to that dimension. And that's okay too.
I actually love it when we remind each other that we need to reconnect and the work involved in reconnecting. Reconnecting, and being connect, with Londo is fun and heart-warming. He is so funny, extremely intelligent, witty, interesting and very sexy. He's a fantastic father and an amazing partner. I look forward to growing old with him and our child(ren), staying connected and reconnecting with each other for the rest of our lives.
This is not to say that things are always perfect with us. That would be unrealistic and a big fat lie. We get frustrated with each other, we bicker, we take things out on each other when we are upset about other things, we argue, we even have fights (although not often, I will admit it's become more common since the baby and sleep deprivation has come into our house). But we get through those things without major worries I think because of two major things: we have a firm foundation for our relationship so we are able to weather the storms, and we work really hard to stay connected and reconnect when we need it.
I've been working on this post in my head for a few weeks now. Let me tell you why. Londo and I have been going through a rough time together. I say together because we were not going through a rough time with each other. The rough time came from outside sources, including (but not limited to) the Pumpkin's 3-month-long (or longer, we'll see) sleep regression and all that brings with it, major deadlines at work for both of us, changes in our daycare situation, getting our finances in order (including meetings with a financial planner), getting our house in order, all sorts of commitments to family and friends, and the whole figuring out ourselves and our relationship as parents. For a while there, Londo and I seemed to spend very little time being together because we were always doing other things even when we were physically together. Our focus was on the Pumpkin, our jobs, our house, our friends and family, etc. Not on us. This lead to a disconnected feeling that is not good for any relationship.
I believe this happens in all relationships. People get caught up with all the other stuff going on and get disconnected from each other. This has happened to us off and on throughout our entire relationship. Luckily, Londo and/or I are pretty good at realizing that it is or has happened and then are able to focus on reconnecting. When Londo and I talk about being connected, it means mentally, emotionally and physically, because we believe all three of these things are vital for us and our relationship.
Just prior to our recent vacation, Londo pointed out to me that we'd both been very go go go and he thought we were pretty disconnected. While I had known that we weren't connected and we both so busy and sleepless and cranky, his pointing out the need to re-connect really hit me. He was so right. Step one for us is realizing and vocalizing it. Step two is starting to work on it.
The vacation was another whirlwind, but the ocean and the beach centers me. After finishing my work deadlines, I was able to be on vacation and go to the beach and feel a little more like myself. Once we got back from vacation, Londo and I really worked on reconnecting. We didn't turn on computers once the baby was asleep. We spent time together in the evenings and on weekends. We did things around the house together and with the baby. Most importantly, we talked to each other about all sorts of things and enjoyed each others company again. Oh, and we have been having rocking sex, of pre-baby caliber, in part thanks to my re-reading my own tips on getting in the mood (there is a reason I was able to write that post--these are things I have worked on over the years to help with that physically reconnecting aspect).
I'm happy to say that once again, Londo and I are thriving in our relationship, even before the Pumpkin started sleeping through the night again. Relationships are hard work, and I would never imply that every relationship could be perfect. In fact, the right choice for some people is to not be together. As for me, I truly, truly believe that Londo is my soulmate. We are definitely meant for each other. But even with that, we work hard not to take the other person for granted and to support the other person in any way we can. This has become especially important now that we have a child. Our child adds a new dimension to our relationship that we never had before, one that I see will continually change and we will need to constantly readjust to that dimension. And that's okay too.
I actually love it when we remind each other that we need to reconnect and the work involved in reconnecting. Reconnecting, and being connect, with Londo is fun and heart-warming. He is so funny, extremely intelligent, witty, interesting and very sexy. He's a fantastic father and an amazing partner. I look forward to growing old with him and our child(ren), staying connected and reconnecting with each other for the rest of our lives.
Meme's the Word
I'm really trying to catch up on everyone's blogs. I'm working on it. My Google Reader is down to 274 posts. Please be patient with me while I try to catch up with everyone and still find time to write some very interesting and meaningful posts I have in mind.
For now, enjoy a couple memes!
----------------------------
Cara tagged me for the six quirky things meme. I have done it once before, but I have enough quirks to do it again. And then again. And a few more times after that. hehe.
So here is what I'm supposed to do:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules in your blog.
3. Tell about 6 fun quirks about yourself.
4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.
Here are my six quirks:
1. I can't stand constant background noises that are humming noises, like air conditioners and fans and humidifiers. They grate on my nerves and drive me slowly insane. Yet we run a humidifier in the Pumpkin's room all night for the white noise, I've had to get over it a bit when I go in to cosleep with her.
2. I am a real grammar geek. So is Londo. We will actually have debates over grammar (don't ask), which we find interesting and fun. I will look up grammar rules online and in books for fun. I can even tell you rules that are different between British and US english. I enjoy answering grammar questions and being known as a grammar expert. I am that geeky.
3. On car trips, I am like a camel. I can hold a lot in my bladder for a long, long time. Growing up, we used to drive up to my grandparents in Cape Cod, MA, every summer. That is an 11 drive from where I live, so I was used to long car trips and developed the ability to not have to stop for the bathroom very much. Except when pregnant.
4. The taste and even smell of bananas makes me nauseas. I can have a sip of fruit juice with 12 different fruits in it, but if one of those fruits is banana, it's all I can taste and I want to throw up. And yet, the first solid food we gave the Pumpkin was bananas (Londo's choice).
5. I work in IT but I can't stand to do anything with hardware or even software set up. I mainly work with software, and I can learn new software systems really quickly, but I hate all the rigmarole involved in setting things up, getting them to work or even fixing issues that come up. I get so frustrated. I just want it to work. And yet, I should know better than most what is involved for computers to work correctly. Luckily, I work with people who are good at that stuff and help me out when I need/want it.
6. Although I'm not Fillipino, I have a bunch of relatives who are. An aunt and an uncle both married Filipinos. I am very fond of the Filipino culture and cuisine (mmmmmm... adobo...), and I feel a bond to Filipino people I meet. I have yet to go to the Philippines, but I hope to some day. One of my cousins has lived over there with her family for years, so we have a place to stay if we ever make over to that side of the world.
Now, who should I tag? I'm not doing six. That's just too many. I'll do three. How about Colleen , sheSaid, and Tranny Head. Do you guys want to play?
----------------------------
I'm also going to do the meme that ImpostorMom did a few days ago, because it does look like fun!
Four jobs I have held:
-Paper delivery girl
-Server at a seafood restaurant
-Teller at a bank
-Intern at Symphony magazine.
Four movies I could watch over and over:
-Clue (as I've mentioned before)
-Pride and Prejudice (the one with Kiera Knightly)
-The original Star Wars trilogy
-The Matrix.
Four places I have lived:
-Florence, Italy
-Athens, GA
-Burlington, NC
-Rockville, MD
Four TV shows I like: (I'm doing ones currently on TV)
-Psych
-The Office
-Army Wives
-Eureka
Four favorite foods:
-Lobster
-Pasta
-Indian food
-Strawberries
Four places I would rather be:
-The beach
-My bed
-Italy
-Mars
Four people I’m tagging:
-BrooklynGirl
-I'm Not Skippy
-Jezer
-Nutmeg96
For now, enjoy a couple memes!
----------------------------
Cara tagged me for the six quirky things meme. I have done it once before, but I have enough quirks to do it again. And then again. And a few more times after that. hehe.
So here is what I'm supposed to do:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules in your blog.
3. Tell about 6 fun quirks about yourself.
4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.
Here are my six quirks:
1. I can't stand constant background noises that are humming noises, like air conditioners and fans and humidifiers. They grate on my nerves and drive me slowly insane. Yet we run a humidifier in the Pumpkin's room all night for the white noise, I've had to get over it a bit when I go in to cosleep with her.
2. I am a real grammar geek. So is Londo. We will actually have debates over grammar (don't ask), which we find interesting and fun. I will look up grammar rules online and in books for fun. I can even tell you rules that are different between British and US english. I enjoy answering grammar questions and being known as a grammar expert. I am that geeky.
3. On car trips, I am like a camel. I can hold a lot in my bladder for a long, long time. Growing up, we used to drive up to my grandparents in Cape Cod, MA, every summer. That is an 11 drive from where I live, so I was used to long car trips and developed the ability to not have to stop for the bathroom very much. Except when pregnant.
4. The taste and even smell of bananas makes me nauseas. I can have a sip of fruit juice with 12 different fruits in it, but if one of those fruits is banana, it's all I can taste and I want to throw up. And yet, the first solid food we gave the Pumpkin was bananas (Londo's choice).
5. I work in IT but I can't stand to do anything with hardware or even software set up. I mainly work with software, and I can learn new software systems really quickly, but I hate all the rigmarole involved in setting things up, getting them to work or even fixing issues that come up. I get so frustrated. I just want it to work. And yet, I should know better than most what is involved for computers to work correctly. Luckily, I work with people who are good at that stuff and help me out when I need/want it.
6. Although I'm not Fillipino, I have a bunch of relatives who are. An aunt and an uncle both married Filipinos. I am very fond of the Filipino culture and cuisine (mmmmmm... adobo...), and I feel a bond to Filipino people I meet. I have yet to go to the Philippines, but I hope to some day. One of my cousins has lived over there with her family for years, so we have a place to stay if we ever make over to that side of the world.
Now, who should I tag? I'm not doing six. That's just too many. I'll do three. How about Colleen , sheSaid, and Tranny Head. Do you guys want to play?
----------------------------
I'm also going to do the meme that ImpostorMom did a few days ago, because it does look like fun!
Four jobs I have held:
-Paper delivery girl
-Server at a seafood restaurant
-Teller at a bank
-Intern at Symphony magazine.
Four movies I could watch over and over:
-Clue (as I've mentioned before)
-Pride and Prejudice (the one with Kiera Knightly)
-The original Star Wars trilogy
-The Matrix.
Four places I have lived:
-Florence, Italy
-Athens, GA
-Burlington, NC
-Rockville, MD
Four TV shows I like: (I'm doing ones currently on TV)
-Psych
-The Office
-Army Wives
-Eureka
Four favorite foods:
-Lobster
-Pasta
-Indian food
-Strawberries
Four places I would rather be:
-The beach
-My bed
-Italy
-Mars
Four people I’m tagging:
-BrooklynGirl
-I'm Not Skippy
-Jezer
-Nutmeg96
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Don't Drink the Water
An interesting thing happened in my county on Sunday night. There was a water main break in the county water line, which resulted in the loss of water pressure and water service to some areas. Because of the possibility of contamination associated with loss of water pressure, we were under a "Boil Water Advisory." We had to use only boiled or bottled water for drinking, making ice, washing dishes, brushing teeth, preparing food and washing hands.
In some ways, I felt like we were transported into the past. We kept bowls of the boiled (and cooled) water next to sinks so we could use that to wash our hands, brush our teeth and wash our faces. You know, like they used to have back before running water. I excitedly suggested we use the antique water jugs and basins I have collected, because that is exactly what they were for. Londo gently reminded me that they are antiques that I love and have in the guest room as decor and I would be very upset if something happened to them. But the point is that this is how people used to live.
And it sucks. The water gets cold when sitting in a bowl, and I hate cold water. We could have showered, but we'd have to wash off our hands and face with the boiled (and cooled) water afterwards. Oh, and we were supposed to reduce water usage, so showering and flushing the toilet were things we tried not to do. The baby drinks her bath water, so she could not have a bath with the water from the tap. So she went without a bath last night. So we are all a little dirty and the dishes are piling up in the kitchen. Lovely.
They have fixed the issue, but the Boil Water Advisory remains in effect for now. Hopefully, we will be back to running water soon. Especially since we just got a new water heater that I want to take full advantage of!
On the bright side, my office closed yesterday afternoon and today. I guess they realized that it's a little less than sanitary to not be able to wash your hands, and there is no way to boil water in the office. I'm working from home, something I used to do regularly but haven't been able to do much since moving to this project. We are back in the office tomorrow though... just in time for more meetings.
In some ways, I felt like we were transported into the past. We kept bowls of the boiled (and cooled) water next to sinks so we could use that to wash our hands, brush our teeth and wash our faces. You know, like they used to have back before running water. I excitedly suggested we use the antique water jugs and basins I have collected, because that is exactly what they were for. Londo gently reminded me that they are antiques that I love and have in the guest room as decor and I would be very upset if something happened to them. But the point is that this is how people used to live.
And it sucks. The water gets cold when sitting in a bowl, and I hate cold water. We could have showered, but we'd have to wash off our hands and face with the boiled (and cooled) water afterwards. Oh, and we were supposed to reduce water usage, so showering and flushing the toilet were things we tried not to do. The baby drinks her bath water, so she could not have a bath with the water from the tap. So she went without a bath last night. So we are all a little dirty and the dishes are piling up in the kitchen. Lovely.
They have fixed the issue, but the Boil Water Advisory remains in effect for now. Hopefully, we will be back to running water soon. Especially since we just got a new water heater that I want to take full advantage of!
On the bright side, my office closed yesterday afternoon and today. I guess they realized that it's a little less than sanitary to not be able to wash your hands, and there is no way to boil water in the office. I'm working from home, something I used to do regularly but haven't been able to do much since moving to this project. We are back in the office tomorrow though... just in time for more meetings.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Question of the Week - Area of Obsession
Am I obsessed with my child's sleep (or lack there of)? Sometimes I feel like I am. Did she take a nap? How long? Did she wake up at all and move around? Will she go to bed at night easily or will it be a struggle? Will she stay asleep? When will she start sleeping through the night again?
I'm happy to say (and I'm sure jinx myself) that she has slept through the night the last 5 nights. And now that she is down to one nap a day, she is averaging a two-hour nap. Woooo Hoooo!!! Maybe I can obesses a little less now about her sleep.
Do you know how many posts I've written that relate to the Pumpkin's sleeping? I checked my tags, and there are 63 tagged with "sleep" out of 190. That is a third of the posts I've written! The only tag with more posts related to it is the Pumpkin herself!
Clearly I'm obsessed. I talk about her fidgeting and her fussiness. I write about cute things she's done, how beautiful she is and now much I love her. I've even said a few things about her eating. But I go on and on about her sleep and my sleep and Londo's sleep, especially how awful the sleep regressions are. Aren't you all sick of it yet?
But wait, you all must have your own areas of obsession. I know that I'm not unique in this. So the question of the week is...
What do you obsess about?
If you have children, is it their eating or their development in a certain area? If you don't have kids, certainly you obsess about something else. What is it?
I'm happy to say (and I'm sure jinx myself) that she has slept through the night the last 5 nights. And now that she is down to one nap a day, she is averaging a two-hour nap. Woooo Hoooo!!! Maybe I can obesses a little less now about her sleep.
Do you know how many posts I've written that relate to the Pumpkin's sleeping? I checked my tags, and there are 63 tagged with "sleep" out of 190. That is a third of the posts I've written! The only tag with more posts related to it is the Pumpkin herself!
Clearly I'm obsessed. I talk about her fidgeting and her fussiness. I write about cute things she's done, how beautiful she is and now much I love her. I've even said a few things about her eating. But I go on and on about her sleep and my sleep and Londo's sleep, especially how awful the sleep regressions are. Aren't you all sick of it yet?
But wait, you all must have your own areas of obsession. I know that I'm not unique in this. So the question of the week is...
What do you obsess about?
If you have children, is it their eating or their development in a certain area? If you don't have kids, certainly you obsess about something else. What is it?
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