Disclaimer: Please excuse any typos, misspellings or grammar mistakes. I'm so out of it, and you will read why below. I tried to proof this post, but there were many mistakes so I might have missed some. You'll forgive me, right?
We had a very rough night last night. You all get to hear all about it, because it's all I can think of and I hope writing about it will exorcise the demon from my mind.
First let me say that I'm incredibly glad that we spent the money on a comfortable glider/recliner for the nursery, because that is where I spent most of my night. Londo, the Pumpkin and I are all exhausted. Londo and I talked this morning about how we forget just. how. bad. it. is. when she is waking up this often at night and won't be put down. We know that it was bad, and we remember that going through it was a nightmare. But once we start getting more sleep, we block out just how bad it is until we are going through it again. And then it hits us like a ton of screaming, squirming bricks.
After waking up screaming like a red alert alarm, Londo went in to her. (I was not really awake and totally thought it was Londo's alarm going off and I was snapping at him in that sleepy babbling way to turn off his alarm. That's how much she sounded like an alarm. Or that's how out of it I was at the abrupt waking. Probably both.) Londo tried to put her down I think 4 times in the span of a little over an hour.
When I took over, I quickly realized there would be no putting her down. After 45 minutes of nursing, she finally fell asleep (miraculously not attached to my nipple). When I tried to shift her a bit in preperation of getting up and putting her in her crib, she fussed and cried, and I immediately stopped moving so that I wouldn't fully wake her. And so, I pulled up a blanket, used another blanket for a pillow, put the chair in recliner mode, and drifted to sleep as best I could.
An hour later, she woke up crying in my arms. She still doesn't settle down if I try to only rock her, although I keep trying (maybe only half-heartedly). I ended up nursing her back to sleep, and we both fell asleep. When I woke up an hour later (at 5:30 A-freaking-M), she still had my nipple in her mouth. They are sore, people. Very sore the past week--from this sort of thing, not from anything, you know, good. Luckily I was able to detach her without waking her, and we slept another hour, when she woke up crying again and I said that's it, we are awake for the day because it's 6:30 and that's wake up time and I'm just done.
I really hate it when she wakes up screaming and crying before she even opens her eyes. It must mean that what has woken her is that something inside doesn't feel right. So that makes me feel so bad for her. And it drives me crazy.
Here's the good news (if you can call it that): I think I know why she's having a particularly hard time. Last night I saw, and then felt, some big bumps just under her gums. It looks like her first molars are trying to come in. Her teething has never gone smoothly, so I can only imagine that the molars will be especially hard. Teething would also explain much of what's going on lately, from the fever and off-and-on runny nose to the sleeping problems and fussiness to the wanting to constantly nurse and not wanting to eat much solids.
So I feel a little better knowing that things should get better after her molars are through the skin and up a little ways (if history holds true). But I have a feeling this won't be a quick process... plus, there are going to be four of them, right? Yet I feel only two bumps on the bottom gum...