First Camping Trip with Kids

Two weekends ago, Londo and I took the kids on an overnight camping trip. That's right, this Family That Travels went to the woods! And stayed in a tent!

I may not seem to be a camping or outdoorsy type of gal, but I actually love the outdoors and really have enjoyed camping. I have very fond memories of camping with my family, and I had a great time going with Londo and friends when we were in grad school. The trips haven't always been perfect, but that's part of the point. It's not just that I like the idea of camping, it's that I'm willing to accept that "roughing it" may be rough at time!

On the flip side, Londo has been camping regularly his whole life. He has all this knowledge about living in the outdoors, and he gets more enjoyment from nature (especially woods and mountains) than anyone else I know. He has all the gear and then some.

We've been wanting to take the kids for a few years, but Londo was concerned that the kids were too young. This year, we decided that they were probably old enough for us to try it. We decided we would go this year, this fall. Just an overnight at a nearby campgrounds to try it out. And that's what we did last weekend.

You know how you can like the idea of something but in reality it doesn't live up to your idea? Well, I'm happy to say that didn't happen! And it really was because of Londo. He made sure that things went smoothly, that there was enough to entertain the children, that we had everything we needed and that we were all set up.

It also went so well because we went with my brother, his wife, their teenager and their 5 year old twins. My brother and SIL were campers before having kids, their teenager is awesome, and the twins are fun and play really well with my kids. It was a smart plan to go in a big, fun group.

For this first trip, we rented a camping site at a state park about an hour from our house. My brother's family got the spot directly across from us. It was one of those spots that you pull the car up to and lay out your tent on a flattened, gravel surface. It had a metal, circular area for the camp fire, including a grill top for it. It also had a picnic table, an electrical outlet and was right near the bathrooms.

What can I say. We weren't going to rough it too hard for our first trip with a four year old and two year old!

The first unexpected issue we ran into was one I never suspected we'd have to worry about. Londo had laid out the tarp along the gravel and was just getting the tent ready to put up, when I realized that there were peanut shells EVERYWHERE. This was not some case of a few shells left behind and easy to clean up. They were all over every part of the gravel.

Okay, people. The first rule of camping is leave the area as you found. I don't care if peanut shells are biodegradable. They are litter when left behind all over the place. Not only that, but they are a serious health and safety hazard for my daughter who has a peanut allergy!

This campgrounds are specifically aimed at camping with families. And with peanut allergies on the rise, I find it irresponsible for people to leave behind peanut shells literally covering the ground. There were so many that Londo quickly abandoned the idea of sweeping them away. We ended up switching campsites with my brother's family, and then we all mostly hung out at our peanut shell-free campsite.

I know most people don't have to worry about a peanut allergy, and peanut shells are biodegradable, so I couldn't get too mad about it. It's just that we always have to be so aware of the peanut allergy. We can't leave it home even when we're camping in the woods. And that's why we bring the EpiPen everywhere.

Back to camping. It was my job to keep the kids occupied while Londo set up our tent and campsite. We started off looking at cool mushrooms, moss and bugs (that I didn't even flinch at, for the record). But after a while, they were starting to get interested in what Londo was doing.

So I came up with a game: Nature Scavenger Hunt! I gave them five things to look for (a red leaf, an acorn, a brown leaf, a gray rock and a white flower) and told them the boundries around the campsite where they could look. I helped them find the items and put them in their own piles on the picnic table.

One of the cutest things a kid said during the trip was my nephew who was looking for one of the items and having trouble. This adorable 5 year old says, "Oh who am I kidding. I'm never going to find it!" It was really hard not to laugh at that. Of course I helped him out a bit with that item, and then he ended up winning the Nature Scavenger Hunt!

After that, Londo and my brother taught my teenage neice how to build a fire, while the younger kids ran around inside our big, 6-person tent.

Food was a major source of entertainment. Londo cooked hamburgers and hotdogs for dinner, and we all sat at the picnic table enjoying the meal. Londo also brought a pan of popcorn to put over the fire, and my brother and SIL brought the makings for smores!

Londo also brought each of the kids a glow stick, which of course was a hit! Now there were two problems with those. 1. My kids did not want to put them down to go to sleep because they were so awesome, especially the Pookie who didn't understand why he couldn't keep it and stare at it instead of going to sleep. 2. There wasn't one for me. Hehe.

By bedtime, the kids were totally worn out and went to bed pretty easily--once I seperated them and put Pookie to bed first and then the Pumpkin, like I do at the beach house. When we try to put them to bed at the same time, they just feed off each other and go crazy and don't settle down at all. But Pookie first, then the Pumpkin works well.

Once asleep, the adults all hung out by the campfire, talking and laughing. My kids slept through it. My SIL went to hang out with her teenager for a while, and my brother, Londo and I stayed up a little later until I couldn't keep my eyes open any more. I crawled into the tent, snuggled up to the Pookie and fell asleep to the sound of crickets and two of my favorite guys talking about football.

You may be wondering how we all slept, four of us in a tent, including my not-so-great-sleeper daughter and my very-used-to-his-crib son. And the answer is: crappy--just as we expected. But because we expected crappy sleep, it did not ruin the trip or even really cause concern or dissappointment or frustration. We simply did not expect to sleep well, so when we didn't, it wasn't a problem.

The Pookie woke up crying and trying to get comfortable within 10 minutes of my falling asleep. I finally got him back to sleep by singing Hush Little Baby while jiggling him a little against me. He spent most of the night tossing and turning, sleeping on me more than not. Londo slept on the other side of the tent, next to the Pumpkin, and he said she helicoptered all night. So crappy sleep, but definitely some sleep. And we made it to morning!

One of my favorite parts about camping is waking up in the morning to the sounds of nature, remembering where I am and crawling out of the tent to see what the day is like. And it was a lovely morning.

We had eggs and bacon cooked on the campfire for breakfast. Then, my SIL and I took the kids on a hike through some trails, while the guys took down the tents and packed up the cars. The nature walk was awesome. We saw so many cool-looking mushrooms and moss, a catapiller, falling trees to climb over and even a white-tailed deer that ran right across our path only a few feet from us! We did take a slight wrong turn, so the hike ended up being longer than we'd planned, but no matter! There were piggyback rides and shoulder rides to help the kids along, stops for snacks and cool things to look at all along the way.

The trail ended at the lake, when Londo and my brother came walking up to us and finish the walk around the lake to where they parked the cars, with a brief stop at the lake's empty beach to play in the sand for a couple minutes.

The kids had an awesome time, as did the adults. Even the teenager admitted it was fun. My daughter even declared it the best time ever! In fact, everyone wants to go again as soon as possible! Because, you know, we're a Family That Camps!

Question of the Week - Mother's Day Favorites?

I had a fabulous Mother's Day on Sunday, as well as a wonderful weekend. I hope you all did too.

I seriously have the best husband evah! He took a rough night with the Pookie, let me sleep in late, made me breakfast in bed, ushered the kids out of the room so I could eat it, stayed home with the kids so I could shop with my mom and sister then eat out a nice lunch with them and my SIL, her sister and their mom, continued watching the kids while I went with my mom and sis to visit my grandma, and fixed us all dinner!

I didn't change a single diaper! I didn't cook or administer a single meal! I got homemade pictures from the kids! I got a card that included a recording of the kids singing "I love my mommy, oh yes I do. I love my mommy. That mommy's you!" I got hugs and kisses and all the wonderful aspects of being a mom, with none of the complaining, whining or arguing!

It truly was a wonderful Mother's Day. I didn't spend a majority of it with my kids, but I spent a good portion of Friday and most of Saturday with them.

I thought of all you mothers out there--all my bloggy mom friends who I've not been good at keeping up with lately. I wondered how you all were doing. And I wondered what I'm making this week's (month's?) Question of the Week:

What was your favorite part(s) of Mother's Day?

Through all of those wonderful things that my kids and husband did, I have three favorite parts, though only one is for Sunday itself.

My favorite part of all was on Sunday: My husband did all of those things I listed above and more with such a great attitude! When I mentioned going to visit my grandma or taking time to go shopping or even heading up for a shower, there was no hesitation from him at all. Immediately he would say, "Do whatever you need/want, honey. It's your day!" or "Don't worry about us. I've got the kids, and we're doing great." So the guilt I can feel at time for doing things without the kids or needing him to watch the kids for long periods of time with no breaks? Non-existent! Isn't that the best?

My other favorite parts I hope to write about later, and they included Muffin's for Mom at my kids' school on Friday morning and my daughter's first dance recital.

What about you all? Did you have a good Mother's Day? Did you spend it with your kid(s) or without the kid(s)? Was it relaxing or adventure-filled? Did you get any good gifts? Breakfast in bed? What was your favorite part?

Sickness and Sweetness

The flu knocked me flat on my butt last week. I haven't been that sick in a long, long time. Three or four days are a feverish blur of trying to care for the kids and sleeping. Another three days of still being really sick. And now I've developed bronchitis. Good times.

Over the last week plus, each member of my family has been sick to some degree. We also spent the week and both weekends watching a six-month-old puppy for a friend and added my parent's dog for the last weekend.

In other words, things have been C-R-A-Z-Y at my house!

But amongst all the sickness, there has been some moments of overwhelming sweetness. I'm going to try to capture it all.

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Sickness
It all started with a phone call from the kids' school on Friday afternoon saying the Pookie had thrown up and needed to be picked up.

Though he seemed a little better on Saturday morning (no more throwing up), he went down early for his nap and after four hours, we started to worry. I went in to check on him, and he was burning up and his nose was running like a leaky faucet. Poor guy looked miserable! Not only that, but when I changed his diaper, his bottom was bleeding. I got really worried, and then I noticed one of his fingers was really inflamed and swollen, with a pus-filed, crusty scab on the side of his nail. Definitely time to call the doctor on call.

In addition to those things, the doctor heard my boy's wheezy breath while I was on the phone with her. It didn't take long for her to say I needed to take him to the emergency room to get his breathing and finger checked, though she wasn't worried about his bottom.

That was the first trip to the emergency room with one of our kids. Londo stayed home with the Pumpkin, while I hurried the Pookie to the ER 5 minutes down the road. There was a pediatrics wing of the ER, and we were brought almost straight back.

My boy was a real trooper! Though feverish and miserable, he didn't fuss or cry while getting checked on. Not even when they poked a needle in his infected finger to drain the pus! Not even the first time they put him in some contraption to hold him still for a chest x-ray. We actually had to redo the x-ray, and that second time he did start wailing because I took his cracker away while he was in it. (To be honest, we all kind of wanted him to cry because it gets a better x-ray when they fill up their lungs for a big cry, and we didn't want to have to redo the x-ray another time.)

Luckily, his lungs were fine (and his little ribs in the x-ray were so cute!). But he did have the beginnings of an ear infection, a severe diaper rash, and an infection on his finger called a paronychia. After another dose of medication for his fever finally brought his temperature down, a dose and prescription for antibiotics and a prescription for antifungal cream for his bottom, we were discharged. At home, I got him a quick, late dinner, and put him straight to bed.

Sunday, he was still not feeling too well, but by Monday he was fine. His school was closed for MLK Day, but he was doing much much better. Tuesday, school was closed due to the snow and ice, but he was back at school Wednesday. He had a follow-up appointment with his pediatrician Thursday, and she said everything looked really good by then!

I'm sure I don't have to say how worried I was, taking him to the ER and all those things wrong with him. It broke my heart! I held him and cuddled him the whole time at the hospital (except during the x-ray). And I'm sure I don't have to say how relieved Londo and I were when he bounced back so quickly!

Sweetness
Because Londo picked up the Pookie early from school on Friday, I picked up the Pumpkin at her normal time. She has just gotten used to the Pookie being at her school and the new drop off and pick up routines (he started the first week of January). And that day was the first time he wasn't part of the normal pick up.

When I explained to her that the Pookie had thrown up and was home with Daddy because he was sick, she got really upset. She started tearing up, and said, "I'm very worried about him! I'm crying because my brother is sick! I need to go home and check on him!" I carried her to the car, assuring her we would check on him as soon as we got home.

Sweetness
As I was grabbing a couple diapers and a cup of water to take with us to the hospital, I asked Londo if I should bring anything else? Was there any comfort item that he might want with him? And Londo responded, "Just you. You are his comfort item." And it's true.

Sickness
I was the next one to get sick. Sunday morning, I started to feel run down. By afternoon, I was feverish, with body chills, shaking, delirious, foggy, unable to stay awake or think clearly. There was also a runny nose, coughing, post-nasal drip and my body ached like I'd been hit by a truck. I was a mess.

I spent the next few days in and out of that foggy haze of a fever, most of the time sleeping under piles and piles of blankets. I barely ate, barely spent any time with the kids or dogs, no time with Londo, didn't get to all the cleaning I had to do, and certainly didn't work more than an hour or two here or there. For the whole week, I was out from work, and watching the kids and dogs fell to Londo for the majority of the time.

Finally, my fever broke on Wednesday morning. I even took the Pookie to school, though I think that caused a bit of a relapse. I got myself to the doctor on Thursday afternoon, and he said it sounded like I'd had the flu and post-nasal drip. And he said that I now had bronchitis. Which apparently doesn't go away in a day or two.

So I'm still coughing and a bit congested. I'm taking cough suppressants and cough drops. I'm back at work and crazy busy, but trying to at least be still as much as possible. It's when I move much that the hacking starts up again.

Sweetness
Sunday afternoon, while the Pookie napped, Londo brought the Pumpkin into our room. She got up on the bed with me, and we put on a show for her to watch. Londo said, "I need to go to the grocery store. You take care of Mommy while she naps, because she's sick and needs you to take care of her."

And she did. She rubbed my back, made sure I was covered and cuddled next to me while I dozed in and out of consciousness. She was very proud of being able to take care of me while I was sick.

Sickness
Next, the flu struck the Pumpkin. She started getting a little sick over the weekend, but by Monday she was getting bad. She had the same symptoms I had, and her fever got pretty bad by Wednesday or so. She stayed home the rest of the week, with Londo and me taking turns watching her.

I had the Pookie's follow-up appointment on Thursday morning, and I called Wednesday afternoon saying I wanted to bring in the Pumpkin, too. Though the Pookie was looking good, the Pumpkin was not. The pediatrician was worried about her breathing, so she gave my girl a breathing treatment right there and then listened to her chest again afterwards. The concern was that what the pediatrician was hearing was pneumonia, so it was important that she do the treatment and let the doctor listen again. Luckily, the breathing treatment cleared her right up and the doctor was able to be sure it wasn't pneumonia.

The Pumpkin did not like having to do the breathing treatment, but she is fortunately at an age where she can be reasoned with and still be distracted. We got through those long minutes by my making up a story for her about a flying horse and a dragon and a princess, one of the Princess Pumpkin stories I make up for her.

The good news (besides clear lungs for her) was that her throat looked fine AND HER EARS LOOKED FINE!!! I am sure that she would have had an ear infection from this congestion if she hadn't had the adenoid removal surgery. She got ear infections every other time she had congestion even half this bad!

The bad news was that her fever persisted. Londo called me a little while ago and said he thinks it finally broke, and I sure hope so. She's been miserable--lethargic during the day, coughing all night, fussy and clingy. She's fallen asleep almost every day of the last week, my girl who doesn't nap! She's been going to bed in our room before dinner, barely eating anything.

The doctor said the fever might last another 5-10 days from the appointment last Thursday. So even though we've been worried, we've also not been freaking out. Plus, she really does exactly the symptoms I had, just for longer. Which doesn't surprise me. My girl does everything to the extreme!

Sweetness
When the nurse first put the breathing mask on the Pumpkin's face, she was crying a bit and saying she didn't want to do it. She tried to pull it off, but the nurse and then I held it on until she could adjust to it and be distracted by my story.

Well, the Pookie watched all this, and he got really upset. He climbed up to his sister in her chair and tried to rip the mask off her face for her, kind of hollering while he grabbed at it. If he had a full vocabularly, I'm sure he would have sound like, "Get that off my sister! She doesn't like it! Don't do that to her!"

Though I had to keep him from pulling it off of her, keep holding it on her, distract her with a story and try to keep him occupied by something else, my heart melted at his protectiveness over his sister and what was upsetting her. Once she calmed down and even held the mask herself, he calmed down about it too.

Sickness
And this whole time, Londo has been struggling with sickness as well. He hasn't had it as bad as the Pumpkin or me, but he has been pretty sick and very run down. But that hasn't stopped him from taking care of me, the kids, the dogs, work, the house and goodness knows what else! I so badly want to be better and have enough energy to tell him to take a few days for just himself, doing whatever he wants. I'm just not sure I'll be able to for a while.

Sweetness
Londo had been planning a game night with some friends he works with. He had been looking forward to it for weeks. He cleaned up the basement so it's usable again (instead of a storage overflow in the living area of the basement). He scheduled a babysitter for the evening. He invited his friends. He planned out the games and the food and drinks. He said looking forward to that night was the only thing keeping him going through some of the times lately.

The game night was to be last Saturday, and we had some concerns that it would happen, what with all the sickness and dogs in the house. I'm happy to say that we pulled it off! Although the Pumpkin was still sick, I was almost myself by Saturday afternoon. I was even able to help cleaning and setting up! I also put the Pookie to bed while the babysitter put the Pumpkin to bed. And I even stayed up until 11:30 playing games, even though I was still feeling so run down and exhausted.

We had a lot of fun, and Londo felt so much better having a real night of fun with adult friends. It makes us realize that we will be able to do more and more entertaining and spending time with adults as the kids continue to get older.

And sometimes, the sweetest thing of all is feeling like you not only get through the tough times but also enjoy those times as well.

Question of the Week - Do You Believe in Magic

This is the first year that the Pumpkin really has any idea who Santa is. I wasn't sure I would play along with the whole Santa thing, but it just kind of happened.

The first year we had the Pumpkin, I had this big conversation with Londo about how I didn't think I'd want to do the "Santa thing." I felt like it was actively lying to our children to pretend that Santa really came to our house, left presents and ate cookies. Londo pointed out that it was a tradition in both our families and that he wanted to have presents from Santa for our kids.

At the time, the Pumpkin was still little, and I figured she'd never know. So I let it go, and we had presents from Santa. I justified it and the books about Santa in my mind as just stories, the way Frosty the Snowman is a story. It was just a passive omission that those characters weren't real.

But this year... Well, this year she knew who Santa was. This year was the deciding year for whether or not we played along with what I've decided to call "The Santa Game." And this year, as happens with many things in our lives, Londo and I flipped positions. Maybe we didn't change positions--it could be that I didn't fully understand his position, but I definitely flipped mine.

I knew that the bike she was getting and the ride-on excavator that the Pookie was getting were the Santa gifts--the big presents of the year that we write from Santa, as my parents did for me and my siblings into our adulthood. And I don't know, I just decided to go for it. Not realizing fully where Londo stood on the issue, I started talking to the Pumpkin about Santa and asking what she wanted him to bring her. We saw lots of Santa stories on her shows (she especially loved the Dora Christmas special, of course). I also started saying that we'd set out stocking and such for Santa.

In talking with the almost 4 year old, I made that step from passive omission to active deception. Apparently Londo was of the mindset this year that he didn't mind giving presents from Santa, but he didn't feel right about actively lying to the kids.

Whoops.

(The bigger issue that Londo has with the whole being good for Santa is the same one I do, which is we don't want to use Santa as a bribe/threat to get the kids to be good or they don't get their presents. First of all, it'd be an empty threat from us, because we are going to give them the gifts. Second, that's not the way we discipline, so it wouldn't be comfortable for us. Even before he said that to me, I'd already been careful about not making The Santa Game about bribes or threats. Instead, we've been talking about the importance of being nice and good to each other, especially around the holidays when people are doing nice things for us like getting us presents, baking with us and spending time with us.)

But the damage was done. I had started the ball rolling, and it wasn't going to stop. So Christmas Eve, the Pumpkin and I set out cookies and apple juice (cause he gets milk everywhere else) for Santa and an apple and bowl of water (her idea!) for the reindeer. We set out stockings and we talked about Santa coming that night. She was excited, and I have to admit how much joy I got out of doing those things. Those are the games of childhood, putting out treats for pretend people and animals, thinking about Santa coming with a big bag of gifts for all the kids, getting excited about stocking stuffers and big presents. And being the one to eat the cookies and set out a bike with a bow on it "from Santa"? It was neat to be the adult on that side of the ritual as well.

And so, here we are. We are doing The Santa Game at least on some level. We won't be super careful about hiding it from her, because Londo wants her to be able to figure it out and not feel like we tricked her. And her face and the Pookie's face when they saw the big presents from Santa and got to open their stockings and when she saw the cookies were gone and the apple had bites out of it? It was awesome!

So this week's Question of the Week is:

In what ways have you incorporated magic into your kids' lives?

Londo and I have yet to talk about The Tooth Fairy. Right now, she's just starting to understand pretend versus real, and I did agree with her when she said that Tinkerbell and fairies are pretend and I did tell her that ghosts aren't real. But I didn't enlighten her to the reality about mermaids, though, even when there was an opportunity. If she asks, I don't think I'll lie. But she didn't ask.

What about you? Do you have a Binky Fairy (I know @Cloud does!)? Do you do Santa? Any ghosts or goblins around for Halloween? Will there be leprechauns for St. Patrick's Day? Unicorns or wizards? What kind of magic exists in your house?

Question of the Week - Joining the Circus

I just finished the book Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen. I LOVED it. It's been a while since I found a book this engaging, this enjoyable from cover to cover. It was well written and well researched, with interesting characters and a good plot. Best of all? It was all about the circus!

There is just something about the circus. Something dreamy, something magical. Even knowing that some of it is pure illusion, there is still a lot of hard work and the feats that people and animals can do is just amazing.

Londo's never been to the actual circus. When we were in grad school in Georgia, the circus was coming to town. I really wanted to take him, but he said he wanted to wait and go his first time with his own kids. That was so sweet that I didn't push it, even though I would have really enjoyed going to the circus. (A few years later, we did go to a Cirque du Soleil show, and though absolutely amazing, it's not the same as an actual circus.)

So I've been waiting... until we had kids... until the kids were old enough... still waiting, but the time is getting closer.

In fact, just yesterday, the Pumpkin was pretending that we were in a circus. She put the booster seat on the ground and stood on it like she was the ring master, and she called out to me and the Pookie, "Okay guys! We are in the circus. We are going to do tricks. Mommy, you go first!"

So I did some jumps and then bowed while she clapped. Then she did some silly dance, and we clapped. Then we got the Pookie to stomp his foot, which he does when someone says "stomp." He stomps one foot while saying, "stomp stomp stomp." And we clapped for him. It was great fun. But not nearly as much fun as we'll have after they've seen their first real circus! I can't wait to see what tricks they pretend to do then!

This week's question of the week is:

If you were in the circus and could do anything, what act/trick would you want to do?

Although I love the idea of doing an act with animals, I have always wished that I could be a trapeze artist. All that swinging and flying around from bar to bar. Flipping in the air and getting caught (hopefully!) and swung again. It sounds thrilling! I have heard that there is a camp or something that you can take somewhere where you can learn to swing on a trapeze. Maybe someday I can at least do that.

What about you? What would your circus act be? Did you ever dream of running off to join the circus? Did you ever threaten to send the kids (or pets) to the circus? I've done both, although not the latter actually to the kids. Yet. Heh.

Question of the Week - What Are You Drinking?

A couple months ago, I was annoyed at my husband. I don't even remember why now, other than it really wasn't a big deal. I'll be honest, I was PMSing and stressed about work and the kids had been sick (again!). I was doing dishes while he was putting the Pumpkin to bed, and I was thinking about some little thing that Londo did, getting more and more annoyed over what was virtually nothing (I mean, I literally don't even remember what it was now).

A glass and a half of wine later, I realized I was getting pissy over nothing. The mellow from the wine had kicked in, and I started to let it go. Instead, I started thinking about what a great dad and husband and worker and man he is. There he was, putting our daughter to bed after a difficult evening for all of us. I was cleaning dishes from the dinner he had made the family, drinking the wine he had picked up for me from the store. None of us are perfect, and he has a lot going on lately.

I also started thinking about a phrase he uses during some of our difficult times: I need you to cut me some slack. Written like that, it looks abrupt. But he never says it rudely. He actually says it or asks very nicely, and he often says that we should cut each other slack when we've got a lot going on.

So there I am, finishing up my second glass of Chianti, doing the last of the dishes, thinking to myself, "Yeah. I'm going to cut him some slack."

This could be a post about how we should all cut each other slack, or about how we should appreciate the good things our partners and others do for us, or about letting the little things go so that we don't stress out about everything, or about how we should all support each other especially during difficult times.

But it's not.

This post is about how I enjoy a nice glass (or two) of wine in the evenings, about how it helps me relax and enjoy things a little more. Some nights I don't have anything to drink, some nights I have a glass with dinner, and some nights I have a couple glasses after the kids go to bed. But since I've stopped nursing and I'm not pregnant, I have started to have wine more regularly to help de-stress. And I'm glad I am, for my sake, my husband's sake and my kids' sake! ;-)

This week's question of the week is:

What's your drink of choice?

Lately, my drink of choice is either Chianti or Chardonnay. My favorite mixed drink is vodka tonic, which happens to be my dad's drink also. My favorite drink for the beach is Captain and Coke. My favorite non-alcoholic relaxing drink is herbal tea. And my favorite morning drink is coffee!

What about you? What do you like to drink? Do you have different drinks for different occasions? Have you got a good way to mellow out at the end of a stressful day? Does it involve alcohol, like mine?

Spending My Time

I am totally out of my normal rhythm, so you'll have to excuse me if I'm not keeping up with the blogosphere. There are good reasons, and not-so-good reasons.

First, this weekend I went away with one of my BFFs and my cousin's college-age daughter to my cousin's house at a nearby lake. My BFF and I left husbands and kids behind for a girls' weekend! It was fantabulous! We stayed up late talking or playing games, we slept in late in the mornings, we ate out for every meal, we saw Life As We Know It and got ice cream, we sat outside on the deck reading in the sun on a beautiful fall day, and we generally did whatever we wanted!

I came back Sunday night, immediately picked up my daughter and Mom and aunt, and drove up to my brother's house for my mom's birthday dinner. The Pookie had a stuffy nose, so Londo stayed home with him. I had a great time, especially since the Pumpkin and her cousins that are around her age all ran off into the basement to play BY THEMSELVES! It's a good age.

Although we had a bit of a rough night that night, Monday was another good day. Both my husband and I were working from home that day (my office was closed for Columbus Day), but the kids' schools were open. So I dropped them off in the morning and went back home.

It was a beautiful day, so it didn't take much for Londo to convince me to pick up some food and go on a picnic. We had such a lovely time that we decided not to head back to the house right away to go back to work. Instead, we hiked around a park for a while, enjoying the weather and each other's company.

This was much needed for us, this reconnection. We had been short with each other lately, with so much stressors going on in our lives. It's too easy to take out the stress and frustration on the ones we are closest to, though we try so hard not to. An afternoon outside exploring and being together was just what we needed. And it helped to get us in the right spirits for what we had to deal with the next day.

You see, Sunday night I had noticed a little red bump on the Pumpkin's bottom. It's not unusual for her to get irritation bumps, since she has such sensitive skin. And on Sunday night, we had to borrow a pair of underwear from my niece due to a pee pee accident. I figured that her skin was just irritated by a different kind of detergent.

But then on Monday night, we noticed there were more bumps as she got into the bath with her brother. They looked odd, but I wasn't yet worried. I was only slightly worried the next morning when I noticed even more bumps, and that some looked like whiteheads. As I got her ready for the day, I saw a couple small bumps on her ribs and thighs. I was puzzled, but continued with our morning.

In fact, I didn't truly worry until I was getting the Pookie out of his highchair (about to get his shoes on and go out the door with both kids) and I noticed some small bumps on his leg. That's when I called a halt to the morning. It was one thing for my daughter to be getting a weird rash on her sensitive skin, but it's another to see the same rash on the other child. That quite clearly indicates that it can spread, which means no going to school.

I'd been hearing about bed bugs a lot lately, so I immediately start to panic that it was bed bugs and we'd have to sanitize the entire house! (It's not bed bugs.) I called the nurse at my doctors. I answer her questions, including the fact that the spots don't seem to be ichy to either kid. She doesn't think it's chicken pox, but now I start to worry that it's chicken pox. (It's not chicken pox. And no, neither kid has had that vaccine yet, although they will soon.) The nurse asks if I want to bring the kids in. And yes, I very much do want to bring them in!

It's impetigo. As soon as the doctor looks at it, she said right off that it's impetigo, from either a staph or strep infection. But just on the skin -- skin infection. Neither kid has a fever or sore throat, so that's good at least. We just apply a topical antibiotic three times a day until it clears up and cover with long pants and long sleeves.

I never thought I'd be so glad that my kids have a staph or strep infection! But what a relief that it's not bed bugs or chicken pox or some other worse skin disease. We still are keeping the Pumpkin home, because it apparently often spreads in pre-schoolers via the toilet, which explains the bumps on her bottom that were in the horseshoe shape of a toilet seat. My guess is she picked it up at school, but it could have been anywhere. I don't even know where she used the bathroom over the weekend, and I'm not going to bother to try to figure it out. Though I did clean our bathrooms from top to bottom.

So I stayed home with the kids yesterday, and I quite enjoyed playing with them all day. It's been like I had a double weekend, with plenty of time to enjoy myself (weekend away), my BFF (weekend away), my family (Sunday night), my husband (Monday) and my kids (Tuesday). But now, I have SO MUCH WORK TO DO and need to spend time at work. Oh well. It's almost the weekend again!

Mama's Boy

Recently, Londo pointed out that the Pookie is definitely easier for me than for him. We've known this and talked about it before. It's been true since his birth, really. He's just always been a mama's boy.

Of course we are both very attached and bonded with both kids, but this is a different set of relationships. When the Pumpkin goes through clingy phases, she generally clings to either me or Londo. Since she was an infant, either one of us was able to calm her down. But with the Pookie? It's me he wants more often than not.

For example, when the Pookie was just an infant, Londo could not get him to sleep. He tried everything! All the things that worked with the Pumpkin and then some, and yet nothing worked. The boy wanted his mama, and usually to nurse. When I needed to get a chunk of sleep, I would have to nurse that boy into a deep, deep sleep and then very carefully pass him over to Londo who would hold him until he woke up hungry again, giving me a couple of hours by myself until the Pookie settled back into my arms for the rest of the night.

As an older baby and as a toddler now, he still will fuss and fret for Londo way more than me. When I get home from work, walk in the door and pick the boy up, he's as happy as can be. That is often when Londo informs me that he's been fussing non-stop and nothing Londo or even the Pumpkin did could make him happy. At those times, I love to look at my wonderful husband like he's crazy and say, "What are you talking about? He's perfectly happy!" Hehe.

Last night, I had to work late. I got home just barely in time to see my boy before Londo took him in the nursery to get him to sleep. He practically leaped out of Londo's arms into mine, which is his preferred way to get to me. He immediately cuddled all into my shoulder, tucking his arms into my body in just the same way he does when I rock or walk him to sleep. His whole body relaxed into mine. He was happy.

Then I transferred him back to Londo. I still had my work clothes on, and the Pookie was really exhausted, so Londo needed to continue putting him to bed right then. Of course, the boy freaked! out! He screamed at the top of his lungs, and it was really hard for me to not grab him back and tuck him back into my arms. Ah, mother's instinct. But Londo got him to sleep very quickly and easily without me.

It's very sweet to have a child who clings to me like that. It's a special relationship, and it is very heart warming. But it's not without its down side.

About once a week lately, the Pookie is waking up in the middle of the night. It seems to be related to his molars coming through, but it could also be some developmental spurt/regression/wonder week. When he wakes up fully, he requires one of his parents to get him back to sleep, and it takes 1.5 hours.

Many times, Londo goes in first and spends 45 minutes or more (depending on how much he can take and the time of the night) trying to get him back to sleep. If he's not back asleep, Londo gets me to take over. There have been other nights/early mornings when I've gone in the whole 1.5 hour, trying to doze in the glider while holding the boy. I don't think it would work AT ALL for me to go in for some of that time and then get Londo. He would pretty much freak out, because once he has me, he wants only me.

So last night, the Pookie woke up fussing and didn't settle back down. I woke up Londo to go in and get him. Once Londo made his way down to the nursery, I heard the Pookie go from general fussy-crying to screaming! Moments later, Londo comes back into our room.

"He freaked out when I tried to get him. He crawled to the opposite side of the crib, as far from me as possible. When I picked him up anyway, he head-butted me!" Londo said.

I was already getting out of bed. I was exhausted and barely able to move (it was the time of night when I have the most difficulty getting up for any reason, and that's why Londo gets him at that time). But I made my way down the hall and into the nursery.

The minute I stepped into the nursery, the Pookie stopped fussing and held his arms up. He just wanted his mama. Today I'm exhausted and my legs ache for having spent 1.5 hours not-sleeping while rocking in that darn glider. But sometimes the boy just wants his mama. And I'm okay with that.

When It Rains...

It's been pouring over here at caramama's house. Not literally. Well, actually literally right at before last week started we had an insane storm with pouring rain, including a brief power outage that happened while the Pumpkin was sitting on the potty in the bathroom without any windows. That was a fun way to start the day.

But this past week was pouring more in the figurative sense. I was just going list what's been going on day-by-day, but it's just depressing me to write it all that way. Let me try to sum it up.

Last Monday, Londo called me at work to talk with me about something that came up at his work. He was asked to manage a project/task that would last a week, but really good for his career, but mean insane hours for 7-8 days straight. As in, out the door before kids are awake and home after they are asleep, working all weekend, long hours. I told him to do it. I could handle a week of kid care by myself, and it would be very worth it for him. I just needed to rearrange my week so I could do drop offs, pick ups, morning care, dinner times bedtimes, and childcare and meals all weekend long. That's all.

(As an aside, wasn't it awesome of him to consult with me before saying yes? Not everyone would have! He's a thoughtful guy, and that's one of the many reasons why I love him.)

So I did the solo parenting thing from last Tuesday at dinnertime until Tuesday morning of this week (aka yesterday). Londo almost always leaves the house before the kids wake up, but Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Monday he didn't get home until after they were in bed. That was tough for everyone, including Londo. He's not used to not seeing his kids for days at a time.

Luckily, he was able to work from home on both Saturday and Sunday. He had business calls, deadlines and long hours in the home office, including working until midnight or later both nights. But at least he was able to let me sleep in on Saturday morning, give me an hour break later that day, feed the kids on Saturday night, and put the Pumpkin to bed on Sunday night.

Those long hours with the kids? Exhausting! Especially with one kid sick. The Pookie threw up Thursday evening as I put him in his highchair. He spewed on everything! Twice! I stuck him in the tub and sprayed him off, cleaned up the highchair enough so that the dog wouldn't keep licking it (why are dogs so gross?), set the Pumpkin in front of the TV and put the baby to bed early. Poor sick boy had also developed a fever and was tired and cranky. Once he was asleep, the Pumpkin and I finished dinner, I put her to bed, I took the highchair outside and hosed it down in the dark, and I rinsed and put in the washer the chair cover, clothes and towels which were all covered in vomit. All the while, I was making frantic calls to family members and friends to find someone to watch the Pookie the next morning. Oh, that was a fun night.

But that wasn't the only health issue I got to deal with during the past week. Oh no. Not the only one at all.

I got a call from my mom on Tuesday saying my 95-year-old Grandma fell and was in the hospital. She was okay and recovering, but she has three broken ribs and needed to be transferred to a nursing home on Saturday while my mom was out of town. The last few years, she's been living with my mom, but my mom can't take care of her, physically or otherwise, with broken ribs and in need of physical therapy.

On Friday morning, the Pumpkin had an appointment with an ENT which I did NOT want to have to reschedule. That was why I frantically called around to find some Friday morning coverage for the Pookie so I could take the Pumpkin to the ENT. I'll write a longer post about that, but the short story is that the Pumpkin's adenoids are enlarged, and we are going to schedule a surgery for October. Wheeee! Actually, this could be a very good thing. But just another thing to deal with.

Meanwhile, we learned that another family member is having a serious health issue. It's not my place to talk about, so I'm not going to discuss any details. But it is not good and affects Londo and I mentally and emotionally, and it will affect the kids and our scheduling. To say nothing of how it affects the family member and other family members.

But the kids and I did have some really good times. When I tweeted that I didn't know how single parents, parents with partners who work long hours or SAH parents do it, I got a response from awakingsleep that said I would find my own single-parenting rhythm. She was absolutely right. And even though I breathed a sigh of relief when the weekend was over and I headed back to work, by the end of the day on Monday I was dying to pick up the kids and see them again and spend time with them again. I will have more solo parenting coming up soon, and--I can't believe I'm going to say this--I'm even looking forward to it a little bit!

Okay, maybe I really have lost my mind. Or maybe I'm delirious with fever. Oh, didn't I mention? Yesterday the Pumpkin came home from school with a fever and is home sick today, luckily being watched by my mom since I have NO time left to take off and hubby has to do his actual regular work. And the Pookie was up for two hours in the middle of the night.

And the hits just keep on coming!

Question of the Week - How Many Kids?

There has been talk lately about how many kids people are having (see the talk in posts by Moxie (comments section), hush, Cloud, to name a few).

Though there are lots of answers on those posts and comments, I'm asking the question out right here for this week's Question of the Week:

In an ideal world, how many kids are you going to have?

I say "an ideal world" because of my intimate familiarity with infertility. I know there are some out there who want more and are having problems with conceiving and/or carrying another child or even a first child. BTDT.

But for the sake of pretend, let's say that fertility is not an issue. How many kids would you have?

My answer: Hmmm. My answer...

Well, before I had kids, I almost always wanted three kids. I was the youngest of three, as was my husband. I am used to three. I like the dynamics of three. Three is comfortable to me. And heck, if my parents had stopped at two, I wouldn't be here!

There was a short period of time when I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to handle three, and thought just two. This was still before I had kids, but after I years of dealing with recurring depression which turned out to be Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). At the time, taking care of just myself even with the help of Londo seemed overwhelming. But then I figured out that it was SAD and started light therapy during the winters. Life seemed a bit easier.

And then we had the Pumpkin. My vivacious, spirited, active daughter who had such problems with sleeping and requires so much energy. But who also gives back so much joy and laughter and love.

To be honest, that first year of her life, I thought the idea of having more kids was I-N-S-A-N-E! But Londo and I had always planned on having two, at minimum. And after the first year, I started to regain some of my sense of self and sanity and even sleep. I continued to be sure I wanted at least one more. Not knowing how long it would take us to conceive again, we jumped right back into it, and were very lucky that it didn't take long with some help from the specialists.

Then was the really rough pregnancy, during which I swore up and down that that was it. I couldn't do it again. It was too hard, I was too tired. I could not handle another pregnancy. Two was it! I was so 100% sure!

Then... well, then there was the Pookie. He was an easier baby, and I didn't dislike the infant stage so much the second time around. And there were some really sweet moments with two children, and I would say to Londo, "well, maybe three." And he'd usually shake his head and insist that he was done. But once or twice he said "maybe" and meant it. In fact, we both agreed that he would hold off doing something permentant in the way of prevention for five years after the Pookie's birth. Just to be sure.

Enter into the narrative the Pookie's 6 month growth spurt/sleep regression, during which he woke up every. freaking. hour! to nurse! I made my sister promise me that if I ever started talking crazy about having another kid to remind me of that time, that hell of a time with both kids waking in the night, feeling drained and OMG I just could NEVER do that again! No way! I was done! Two and through! (Londo remained steadfast in his stance of just two.)

And now? Since about the time the Pookie was 9 months old on? I'm back to wanting three. I think I'm crazy. I can't imagine doing it again. We certainly can't afford it now AT ALL (which is the main reason I'm not pushing the issue with Londo. Yet). However, I do think I could handle three kids once I'm through the pregnancy and first year, thanks to the medication that was so successful for me last year. Granted it would be harder to have three, but I just don't think it would be exponentially harder. Just a fraction harder. After all, I found going from one to two not NEARLY as hard as going from zero to one. Surely going from two to three won't be as hard, either. (Unless perhaps we are blessed with another spirited child!) (Also, Londo does not feel the same about this. Londo found it harder than I did to go from one to two.)

When I walk around and see other families with three kids, I long for a similar family. When I think about the kids when they are older, I think how nice it would be to have three. When I think of the kids grown, I imagine three kids and spouses/partners and grandchild! There is something about a family with three kids that feels so right to me.

That doesn't mean that we will have three. Londo is still pretty sure his answer is two. I love our two kids, and I will definitely be extremely happy with this family as it currently is. But I worry that I will always feel like I wasn't done. That our family should have had one more. I just won't insist on it at the expense of going to the poor house or Londo having a total breakdown (his threats to leave me are just a joke... but his having a breakdown might have some truth to it).

I may want three kids now, at this moment, but my two are fantastic and I don't want to miss a moment with them. So I will focus on them now, and give it another year or two to decide for sure with Londo. This does mean we have to keep all that maternity clothes and infant clothes and toys for a few more years. It will be nice to get all that out of the house. But I'm not ready yet to say that we are done.

What about you? Are you done with one? Two and through? Three and let it be? Four or more? Has your answer changed over time, especially since actually having kids? Is your partner in agreement? If you don't have a partner, would you be willing to have more on your own? In your ideal world, how many kids would you have, knowing what you know now?

Baby Announcement! And One-on-One Time with the Kids

I want to announce to everyone that my good friend, MommyEm, had her baby on July 4th! Welcome to the world, little baby girl! I am certain that you will be well loved by your mom, dad and big sister (and two cats)! I can't wait to meet you!

While last weekend was a busy weekend for my friend, I actually had a pretty easy, low-key July 4th weekend.

Londo took the Pumpkin down to visit his family for the weekend. They have a big July 4th BBQ party, and he thought they'd have fun. Although I considered going to the fun party and lovely inlaws, I was in greater need of a break from at least half of my parenting responsibilities. Plus, Londo and I thought this would be a great opportunity for us to give the kids some devoted one-on-one time. So I stayed home with the Pookie.

Londo and the Pumpkin left on Friday morning, arriving at the inlaws in the afternoon--in time to pick berries and help garden in my MIL's fantastic, organic garden. Meanwhile, I dropped the Pookie off at daycare and went to work.

The Pookie and I had an easy evening, with his normal (early) dinner time and an early bedtime. He is very exhausted from being at daycare, where they have only one nap a day. So he went to sleep quickly and easily, giving a whole evening BY MYSELF! It was like a piece of heaven.

On Saturday, the Pookie and I went to the pool between his naps, stopping by the neighborhood 4th of July party and eating lunch at the pool. I struck up a conversation with a woman who lives a few houses away and has two kids, ages 2 and 3. I'm really making an effort to make friends with my neighbors, especially those with kids around my kids' ages. And this new friend and her husband invited me over for a BBQ on Sunday! I stopped by for a little while, until it was the Pookie's bedtime. I hope to do more with them soon.

What else did I do on Saturday--or heck, the rest of the weekend? I'm not even sure! Oh, I know I took a nap that afternoon while the Pookie took his second nap. In fact, I napped every day while the Pookie took one of his naps. During his other nap, I was fixing up our front room, into which we've moved the shelves and books to be the library, and the guest room, which has my desk and is going to be my slash-office! This was all set up the previous weekend, with help from Londo, his dad and my dad.

The Pookie apparently needed to catch up on his sleep all weekend. Not only was he taking two naps a day each of the three days we were home together, but the morning naps were 2 - 2.5 hours! He also went to bed early-ish each night. Even though he woke up for 1.5 hours in the middle of one of those nights (let's hear it for the 55 week fussy period/sleep regression!), he still slept a lot overall.

That gave me so much time to clean and organize the house, as well as relax and enjoy time to myself.

But more importantly, I got to spend so much quality, one-on-one time with my baby boy. Being the second child, he really doesn't get much one-on-one time from us parents. Usually, the only time I have alone with him is putting him down for a nap or for bed. That doesn't give me a chance to sit with him and see how he is developing and playing, or let me focus my attention on him while we are out doing things.

For the last two weeks (before he started at daycare, but even more since), he has been especially clingy to me. As he gets better and better at walking away from me, he comes back to me and clings tighter and tighter. That's hard to deal with while juggling a 3 year old who needs large amounts of attention in different ways. By the end of our weekend together, he really wasn't clingy much at all. Until he went back to daycare. Sigh...

It was also such a great weekend for father-daughter bonding down at my inlaws. Londo and the Pumpkin had so much fun down there and in the car trips to and from. (Anyone remember how miserable my daughter used to be in the car? It's a whole new world now, baby!) They had a lot of quality time together. Not all of it was perfect, and the Pumpkin woke up sick on Monday before heading home (and she also got sick in the car on the way home), but we don't look for perfect in the caramama family (or else I'd be in trouble!).

For those of you with two or more kids, I highly recommend splitting them up for a weekend if possible and when they are old enough. It's great to have that one-on-one time, plus it's really fun to be reunited! And after I completely wean the baby, I plan to take the Pumpkin on a trip somewhere with just me, leaving Londo and the Pookie at home.

And someday, Londo and I hope to take a weekend or even a night away together, without the kids! Can you imagine?

Labor and Delivery the Second Time

A year ago today, June 13th, I went into labor with the Pookie. I didn't deliver him until June 14th, but in honor of the anniversary of going into labor with him, I finally finished and am posting his birth story. True to myself, it is long and wordy. But hopefully entertaining. While the labor and delivery of the Pumpkin felt like a sitcom, I would say that the labor and delivery of the Pookie was much more of a drama. There was a lot that went on, as I apparently don't have easy labor and deliveries.

After all my back and forth over how I wanted to try to deliver the Pookie, I decided to try for a VBAC. With Londo and our doctor on board, I started to prep for labor. My goal was going to be to go as long as I could without any pain medication in the hopes that that would help me get beyond the 8 cm where I stalled with the Pumpkin. I had hoped that I would be able to labor at home for a good long while. After all, each labor and delivery (just like each pregnancy) is different, right? So what are the chances that my water would break as early as last time, necessitating our heading right to the hospital because I'm positive (again) for Group B Strep?

At 5:30 am on Saturday, June 13th, the Pumpkin came into our bedroom, said "Hi Daddy, hi Mommy," climbed in our bed, grabbed tight to Londo's head and fell back to sleep. Since I was awake, I made yet another trip to the bathroom. When I climbed back into bed, I felt something odd. I thought to myself, "How could I have peed my pants? I just went to the bathroom!" I got back up, felt a little something more, made some sort of frustrated noise/exclamation, and hurried to the bathroom. Londo asked what was wrong. I said, "I think I peed my pants."

But we both knew. Even pregnant, I had not been peeing my pants unless I was sneezing or laughing or gagging (while brushing my teeth--ugh!). But just getting into or out of bed? Nope, that wasn't what was going on.

My water had broken. It was absolutely clear a few moments later. I admitted it to Londo, who had been lying in bed wide awake just waiting for me to admit it. But I did not have any contractions yet. So I wasn't in a hurry, even though I was positive for Group B Strep*. Londo was up and moving as soon as I gave him the word that it was my water that had broken. Londo was trying to hurry me, and I was taking my time. So we were off to a good start. hehe.

First I called the doctor's office, which connected to their paging service. The doctor who was on call was my primary doctor, and he called back promptly--and sleepily. He said to head over to the hospital, as we knew he would. I called my mom and asked her to come over and stay with the Pumpkin until my inlaws could drive up from their house 5-6 hours away. Then Londo called his parents and told them I was in labor and could they come up. This was the plan, so no surprises other than the boy was coming a week early (I was totally expecting him to be late, like the Pumpkin was). I finished packing my bag, while the Pupmpkin watched some TV and Londo got some last minute things.

Once my mom got to our house, we headed to the hospital. As I said, I hadn't been in a hurry and I hadn't rushed my mom either, but I had started feeling the contractions. We didn't get to the hospital until close to 8:00 am, and I was starting to get contractions pretty regularly every 10 minutes at that point. We checked in, and they brought me back to a labor and delivery room. They hooked me up to the monitoring machines, where I stayed for an hour lying in bed.

As I was lying there, my contractions slowed down and came less frequently. Once they let me off the machines, they said it was okay for me to walk around to help the contractions going and the labor into the active phase. I spent the next 6 or so hours walking with Londo around the hospital's third floor, stopping back in the room for 15 minutes every hour to be monitored. We did a lot of walking. My legs were hurting. My feet were hurting. My back was hurting. I was starving since the last time I'd eaten was a couple scoops of ice cream at 8:00 pm the night before**. I'm sure Londo was hurting too, but he didn't dare complain. However, my contractions? They were weak and only regular when I was walking. I still wasn't in active labor. I was in the kind of labor they normally send you home during, except my water had broken so I had to stay there.

Finally, after miles of walking and many popsicles, I was getting regular, strong contractions every couple of minutes. I was finally in active labor and 2 cm dilated. Still, I kept walking as much as I could. At this point, I was just walking around the maternity ward, up and down the same hallway. When my contractions were close enough together that I couldn't go more than a few steps without doubling over in pain, Londo and I thought for sure I must be very dilated. We headed back to the room, in slow painful steps. When my doctor next checked me, I was only 4 cm dialated.

I continued to labor standing and walking around my bed. When I lied down, the contractions slowed, or at least didn't keep progressing. I lied down, stood and walked around that bed for another hour or two. During which I dilated only a half cm to a cm.

At this point, I was so tired and hungry, on top of real strong contractions that made it hard to do anything but lie down. And even though I was barely progressing, the contractions were becoming overwhelming. I went back and forth as to whether or not I wanted an epidural yet. But it came to a point when I was just overwhelmed and asked for the epidural.

The anesthesiologist came pretty quickly. I wish I could say that I was doing better in no time, but I wasn't. Because it only worked on half my body. So my left side felt much better, but my right side was still having intense pain. They had me lie on my right side for a while, hooked up to the machines and in great discomfort, saying that it should help the drugs get into that side of my system. I laid there for a about an hour without it taking on my right side. Londo started insisting that the anesthesiologist come back to see what could be done. I was really concerned about the idea of him taking the epidural out and reinserting it, but the nurse said he might be able to do something else that would help it. The anesthesiologist came back after another half hour, he turned up the dosage on the drugs, and my body was flooded on both sides with sweet relief.

I felt a ton better at this point, but I started wondering if my contractions were slowing down and/or get weaker. When the doctor checked in on us, I mentioned this to him. He showed me on the monitor that I was still having pretty strong contractions. But I was barely progressing. I was 6 cm dilated, and just not getting any further.

When your water breaks, the doctors say that you have 24 hours to labor before they start talking about c-sections. This is due the risk of infection, which increases once the water breaks. In the case of women who have Group B Strep, they have us on antibiotics, but they are still very concerned.

So the clock was ticking. It was getting late at night. I believe it was around 10:30, maybe close to 11:00 at night when my doctor finally said he thought it best to do a c-section. I did not want to hear this, and I questioned him about it. He pointed out that I just wasn't progressing and showing no signs of starting to. In addition, like what had happened in my last labor (though I had forgotten about it until it started happening in this labor), the lip of cervix had been swollen and getting worse. The doctor simply didn't think I would be able to deliver vaginally. But I knew we still had time until the 24 hour mark, so I asked him to give me another hour to come to terms with giving up on my attempt at having a VBAC. I also joked that I was hoping to make it until the 14th, so the baby wouldn't be born on the 13th--an unlucky number and sucky birthday when it's a Friday. He agreed to check back in an hour.

At that point, my inlaws had been with the Pumpkin for hours, and Londo had called my mom to come to the hospital to be on stand by. You see, perhaps the worst aspect of getting the c-section when I had the Pumpkin was the recovery time in the recovery room. Even though I had a nice nurse who checked in on me, Londo was hurried off with the baby to be cleaned off in the nursery and I was left pretty much alone. It was like a desert in my mouth, I desperately wanted to sit up, and I had no idea what was going on with my baby. I didn't get to nurse my daughter until about 2 hours after her birth. It was really an awful 2 hours, I was determined that it would not go like that if I had another c-section. So I had asked my mom to be with me in the recovery room, as well as asked for Londo and the baby to be there so I could breastfeed much sooner after the birth.

Back to the Pookie's delivery... My mom had been in the waiting room for a couple hours. When the doctor left my room, I asked the nurse if she could send my mom back. Once the nurse had finished checking my vitals, she asked my mom to come back. Londo, my mom and I started talking about the impending c-section. I was trying to come to terms with it, but to be honest, I was still hoping for some way out of it. Some way to make the labor progress, either by design or by luck. As I said, I was tired and hungry and feeling kind of woozy. In fact, in the five minutes we were talking, I was starting to feel what I would call a bit delirious.

The doctor came back in the room. I think he'd been gone 10 minutes or less. He looked at me and said, "I can't give you that hour to think about the c-section. You have a very high fever and we need to prep you now."

Apparently, when the nurse was checking my vitals, Londo pointed out to her that I was spiking a fever. When she left the room, she notified the doctor. My fever was 101 point something, and rising fast.

And that was that. I did want that VBAC, and I was so disappointed that I was having another c-section. But let me tell you, I was totally out of it. I felt, well, feverish the entire time they prepped me. All the arguments I wanted to make for the VBAC no longer were significant. I was definitely getting an infection of some sort causing the fever, and I DID NOT want to risk the baby.

It took about a half hour to prep me and get me into the surgery room, which was all a feverish blur to me. When I got in there, my fever was 103.5. Not good. Oh, and I was really nauseous. When they transferred me from the bed they wheel you down on to the surgery bed, I threw up all those popsicle and ice chips. Even though they put the anti-nausea medicine in the IV, I still felt nauseous. And then there were the uncontrollable shivers. Again. This time, they were really bad, probably because they gave me a lot of the anti-nausea medicine. When my doctor was just about to begin the actual surgery, he looked at me over the curtain and asked me to try really hard to control the shivering because they had to start the surgery. I did my best, which apparently was good enough.

Londo was supportive through the whole thing, even though I know he was really worried about me and the baby. You never want to see a loved one with a really high fever, but I'm guessing you especially don't when it's at such a critical time of health for mother and baby.

The surgery seemed to take a long time, and I had troubling going to my happy place in my mind (the beach, if you were wondering). They got the baby boy out, but I didn't hear any cries right away. I asked Londo if he was okay cause I didn't hear him. He said he thought so, was pretty sure. Thinking back, I'm wondering why they didn't announce his birth or in some way immediately assure us he was born and healthy. I don't think they did that for the Pumpkin either, but we heard her right off. I wonder if this is true for all births, all c-sections or what.

Anyway, it was a healthy baby boy! He was born at 12:38 am on June 14th, weighing 7 lbs 12 ozs and 21.25 inches long. We just barely made it to the 14th, and really, it hardly mattered once my fever started spiking.

They cleaned him up a bit, and gave him to Londo, who waited next to me. They closed me up, cleaned up and were just about to take me to recovery when they realized the needle count was off. Did I mention they had prepped the room in a hurry because of my spiking fever? Yeah, well they had written on the board where they track these things that there were 8 needles, yet there were only seven counted after the surgery. GREEEAAAT! There were only 7 needle packages counted, but they still had to be sure. So they called down to radiology to bring up an x-ray machine to make sure there wasn't some extra needle still inside me.

My shivering was dying down, and my nausea was getting better, but I can't say I was comfortable. Still Londo was there with the baby until they finally got the x-ray machine up, which seemed like forever with everyone just kind of waiting there. They took the x-rays, and I had to wait there with the doctor and nurses until they called up the results. They didn't find anything, and I was cleared to leave the room.

They wheeled me back the recovery room, where Londo was waiting with the baby and my mom. That time waiting in the surgery room was actually okay, because by this point I was not shivering and not really nauseous. My fever had come down, and I was able to sit up right away. Londo handed me my beautiful baby boy, and I was able to nurse him right then. If I recall correctly, I didn't realize that they would let me nurse him then, so I was thrilled when the nurse suggested it, adding that there was no rush to get him cleaned up more and didn't I say I wanted to nurse him as soon as possible. Yes I did.

I took my little baby boy into my arms and felt a surge of intense love. I nursed him right away, with him latching on like an old pro. I unbundled his little body from the swaddle so that I could feel him skin to skin. He was one of the two most beautiful things I had ever seen in my life.

Once he was nursed and I had a chance to bond with him, the nurse and Londo took the baby to the nursery to get his bath and do those things they do. My mom sat in a chair by my bed, keeping me company and making sure I had ice chips and a little water to drink. It was so much better than the previous recovery.

When they deemed me "recovered," my mom walked with me as I was wheeled to my own Mother and Baby Suite, where Londo and the baby already were waiting for me. I think it was like 2 something in the morning, and we were all totally exhausted. My mom didn't stay much longer. Then it was us three, in that room together, our family expanded. Our new addition settling in with his parents.

At that time, it no longer mattered that I didn't succeed in the VBAC attempt. My hours of hunger and exhausting walking of the hospital were nothing. My fever was a thing of the past. All of that had brought me my beautiful baby boy.

Worth. Every. Second.

*If you are positive for GBS, the doctors want you to get into the hospital soon after your water breaks so that they can get you on antibiotics. We knew this from the labor and delivery of the Pumpkin.

**I didn't eat before going to the hospital because of the likelihood I would need a c-section. I was not going to chance it considering how nauseous I had been on the operating table when I had the c-section for the Pumpkin.

Is It Only Wednesday?

This has been a crazy week. My husband has his super important annual meeting (of some sort or another) tomorrow, and each year it requires a LOT of preparation on his part and his team's part. So he's been working late every night this week. And although he was able to help me out a little this morning, it's pretty much been me and the kids for the past few days straight.

We've been having a really fun time! Whenever I get to do the late afternoons with the kids, I have so much fun. Our mornings almost always feel so rushed and hectic, with me trying to get everyone ready for the day and fed breakfast and then getting the Pumpkin and myself out the door. In the afternoons, I pick up the Pumpkin and come home to the Pookie. The nanny leaves, and we have snacks and play inside or in the back yard. I make some dinner, we eat and then get ready for bed.

I do get some help at bedtime, since both kids need a person with them until they are asleep (though, sometimes the Pookie is able to be put in his crib in that almost mythical state of drowsy-but-awake and then falls asleep by himself!). My dad came over last night, and my mom came over tonight.

My only real issue with this week is that I am not able to get into work any earlier but I have to leave early to get the Pumpkin and relieve the nanny in time. I'm not getting enough done at work because of the short days, and I'm spending hours each day in meetings. Luckily, we are really getting stuff accomplished in those meetings--real working meetings!

These days, I have precious little time for myself, which means very little time for blogging. And the worst of all? My work no longer allows me regular access to Blogger! Apparently they've changed the access and to log into Blogger, so that there is a "quota" of time that I can have on that site. It said I have 60 minutes for the site, but I don't know if that is per day or per week or what! Not that I'm logged into Blogger much at work, but I do have to log in to publish comments. And I think that each time I log in, subtracts 10 minutes at a time. I'm scared to find out for sure! Either way, it SUCKS!

I'm really looking forward to this weekend, though! DC area meet up on Saturday, and Mother's Day on Sunday!

Question of the Week - Monster Mash

Lions and tigers and bears? Those are nothing! Zombies and werewolves and ghosts? Now we're talking about some scary things! The mythical have always been more terrifying to me than mere ferocious animals. Though sometimes the terrifying has a romantic flip side or intriguing survival scenerios or some other aspect that we can't help but find fascinating.

This week's question of the week is:

What mythical creature do you have an affinity for?

For me, it's vampires. It's always been vampires. Before Edward Cullen was a twinkle in Stephanie Meyer's eye, I was hooked on Bram Stoker's Dracula. I read Anne Rice's Vampire Trilogy (it was orinigally a trilogy!) before Brad Pitt even heard of Louis de Pointe du Lac. I loved The Vampire Diaries way before the CW even existed as the WB, let alone thought of making those books into a show*. Before Buffy became a household name, I was one of the few who couldn't get enough of the campy Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie.

The romantic aspect of vampire stories has always had me hooked, along with the darkness and danger. In fact, I got hooked on the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer because I started watching Angel re-runs** and wanted to see the story line between him and Buffy. Being a fan of the romance novels, I believe I found my way to them through the romanticism of vampire stories (as well as the Jane Austen and the like). While I haven't yet seen or read the True Blood stories (no clue why, as they are high on my list of stories to get), I do own the DVDs of the only season of Kindred: The Embraced, as well as all the Angel and Buffy seasons.

So, I have an affinity towards vampires and vampire stories because the best ones are are sexy, dangerous and brooding, and often are great redemption stories (and I do love me some redemption stories!). I'm extremely happy that there has been a recent epidemic of vampire stories in books, movies and TV.

Meanwhile, my husband has an affinity towards zombies for entirely different reasons. He is thrilled with the recent outbreak of zombies in books, in movies and on Twitter***. He loves the survivalistic aspect of a zombie apocalypse. Though he has clarified to me that he prefers the zombie stories based on viral outbreaks than on voodoo or magic. He figures that if we he makes contingency plans for a zombie apocalypse, then he we are pretty much set for anything****.

What about you? Which monsters or other mythical creature do you have an affinity for? And why? Got any good recommendations for stories about any of these beings? Tell all!

*Although I think the show is alright, I still can't get over the fact that Elena has brown hair in the show. In the book, she totally had blonde hair, as you can clearly see on the cover of the original book (which I still own). The actress on the show is very pretty and plays the part fine, but I have always thought of her as a blonde. I just can't get over it.

**I have two things to say about those shows:
1. They are two of the best written shows on TV. Seriously well done. Totally worth watching every season. Don't be turned off by the first season of Buffy, because they were young and the show was just starting to find it's feet. Joss Whedon is a GOD!
2. As for Angel (David Boreanaz), va va va vooom! Is it any wonder I started watching the show?

***Oh, how The Blogess cracks me up! Also check out this post about zombie-fighting furniture.

****Although his best friend, who is terrified of zombies, pointed out on Saturday that my short legs which cause me to walk slower than them are going to get us (our family) killed by the zombies. Londo cheerfully pointed out that they will get only me killed. Thanks, sweetie!

What a Day

I have spent my day driving and waiting, and being around sick people.

To the dentist to drop off Londo for a root canal, even though he has a bad cold. To my work to pick up my computer, which I had forgotten the day before. Back home to check on a feverish Pumpkin, do some work and pump. Pick up Londo, get some food for lunch and go back home. Waiting with the Pumpkin until the pediatrician's office re-opens after lunch. Taking the Pumpkin to the doctor to check on her fever and ears, and find out that she does indeed have yet another ear infection. To the grocery store to get medicine for the Pumpkin and Londo and the Pookie (for his teething), where I waited with the Pumpkin FOREVER for the prescription to be filled. Finally back home to relieve the nanny and care for the kiddos and hubby.

I'm beat. I just hope I'm not needed as much in the night, cause after that day I could use some sleep.

Question of the Week - Languages of Love

Recently, Londo was telling me about the the Five Languages of Love, which comes from a book a marriage counselor wrote. It's pretty fascinating, and I think it explains so much about people and how they connect and disconnect. After all, I doubt every person speaks the exact same language(s) as their partner or even their children!

It boils down to this: what you do to express your love might not be "heard" by the person to whom you are expressing it because they speak a different language of love than you do.

It reminds me of when Londo and I first moved in together. Though we had very little money, we both wanted to express our love for each other and excitement about cohabitating. I distinctly remember coming home one time, and Londo showing me how he cleaned up the living room as a surpise for me! I was happy about that and praised the effort, but I did feel disappointed when I walked in the kitchen and realized it was still a mess. Then a few weeks later, I cleaned the entire kitchen from top to bottom in an effort to be thoughtful to Londo. He was happy and praised my effort, but I soon realized that he wished the living room had been cleaned.

And so we discovered each others "hot spots." It drives me crazy when the kitchen is messy, and if Londo wants to do something for me, he should clean the kitchen. Londo can't stand it when the living room is a mess, and if I want to do something for him, I should clean the living room. If I clean the kitchen, I'm really doing it for me. If he cleans the living room, he is really doing it for him. It's fine for either of us to clean up the room we need cleaned, we just don't act like we are doing it for the other person.

That's what the language of love is like. We all have our primary languages, as well as secondary ones. It's fine to show our love in the ways that are primary and/or more important to us. But if we really want to show another person how much we love them, value them and care about them, we should use their primary (or other high up on the list) language. All the languages are important, and knowing about the other languages can help us all identify and realize when others are showing their love for us.

The five languages are:
-Words of Affirmation
-Quality Time
-Receiving Gifts
-Acts of Service
-Physical Touch

I was pretty sure I knew my primary language and the general break down of the other languages for me, and the assessment quiz pretty much confirmed what I thought.

This week's question of the week is:

What is your primary language of love?

My primary language is Words of Affirmation, followed extremely closely by Quality Time (in fact, they ranked the same on the assessment, but I know that the Words of Affirmation is a bit more important to me). Next on my list was Physical Touch, followed by Acts of Service, with Receiving Gifts coming in last.

I know for a fact that Londo's languages are NOT the same as mine. But I think we've recognized each other's successes and even attempts over the years in all five languages. And now we are on the lookout for what language of love our children speak.

How about you? What language do you prefer? How would you rate the languages for you? Did you take the assessment, and if so, what did you get? Is your partner's language the same as yours? How about your kids? Do tell, so that we can all try to speak each other's languages!

Like Father, Like Daughter

I am more and more amazed all the time at how much my daughter is like my husband. In looks, everyone says she is a mini-me. She has my features and hair, although she does have my husband's skin and eye color. But personality? SO much like him.

The other night, I got home just barely in time for dinner (which is 5:30 in our house because the kids go to bed so early these days). I took over the responsibility of feeding the Pookie, and Londo set up the Pumpkin with dinner (which she actually ate for once). Usually, we try to have Family Dinner, but this night was a lax night. I spent the time watching my husband while I ate, feed the baby and watched my daughter eat.

First of all, he didn't eat dinner. He had a late lunch so wasn't hungry. This is fairly typical for him. It is an early time for adults to eat dinner, and it is not unusual for him to wait until after the kids are asleep to eat, usually around 7:30 or 8:00. I do that sometimes, too. He has also been known to skip some meals entirely, which I DO NOT do. But my daughter does. She often does not want to eat dinner or doesn't eat much or isn't hungry.

During this particular dinner which he was not really participating, I don't think he sat down at the table once. He was distracted with his computer and blackberry. I think something work-related was going on, or he was just taking a bit of a break after having both kids for over an hour and a half. But again, it was interesting to watch him walk to his computer and pace with his blackberry. He was constantly up and moving. Just like our girl. It's been a struggle to get her to sit and eat her dinner. It is very hard for her to sit still for any length of time. And even when she is sitting, she often start playing games with her food and utensils and/or fidgeting in her seat.

When I did catch my husband's attention, I started asking him about his day to engage him. He immediately, switched his attention to me and the kids. He is really great about that. But the conversation we had went from this topic to that topic, and he started talking about some things he was interested in in great detail. It so reminded me of having dinner conversations with the Pumpkin.

Our daughter has my husband's energy, perseptiveness, inquisitiveness, need of time to adjust to changes in plans and interest in what's going on around him. I see so many examples of all these things, and more. I will own up to the fact that she gets her sensitivity, both physically and emotionally, from me. And she is definitely her own person.

But the best of all? She gets her humor and desire to make people laugh from my husband. The Pookie and I both get to sit back and enjoy the entertainment from both of them!

Rocking the Winter Wear

Over the summer/fall, Londo and I did a lot of rearranging and cleaning. One of the areas we cleaned out was the coat closet in the front hall. The state of that closet was similar to my closet growing up when my mom told me to clean my room--and I of course just shoved everything into the closet and prayed that she didn't open the door and see everything falling out. That was the state of our coat closet. I literally had no idea what was at the bottom of it.

As we were cleaning everything out and sorting items into keep or giveaway piles, I started teasing Londo about how many coats he has. WAY more coats than I have. More coats and jackets than he ever wears. Coats for every possible variation of the weather. Who could possibly need all those coats? And when he put only 1 or 2 in the giveaway pile? I started giving him an even harder time--lovingly, of course. But he held strong, saying that he just loved coats and jackets. He liked having a lot to choose from. He doesn't ask for much, so I shut my mouth and gave him the majority of the coat closet hanging room.

Then we got to the hats, scarves and gloves. And I was sooooo glad I shut my mouth about his coats. Cause I? I have a huge collection of winter accessories. I LOVE matching hats, scarves and gloves. I have them in many colors, many styles and many materials. Most of them were Christmas gifts from one person or another. And I didn't want to get rid of any of them! Luckily, I simply admitted to Londo that I now understood his feelings about coats, because I wanted all my hats, scarves and gloves. He smartly just nodded.

Well, it was a good thing I kept all of those. Many mornings, they have been key to getting the Pumpkin out the door. You see, it probably takes us at least 10 minutes to get from the point of the Pumpkin finishing breakfast and getting her shoes on to actually getting out the door and into the car. I can get her shoes on pretty easily, either as she is finishing breakfast or in the family room right after breakfast.

But then I have to get her from the family room to the front door, where all our winter wear is located. At the same time, I need to gathering up all my things, including my pump, my work bag, my purse, any lunch or breakfast I may be bringing with me and whatever else needs to come with us in the car to school or work. I also have been starting the car before the Pumpkin goes out to get in it. So I'm trying to juggle all those things and get the child motivate to the front door. Not easy.

Brilliantly (if I do say so myself), I've started asking her which hat and scarf she wants to wear. Sometimes she wants her own, sometimes Daddy's, and often mine. So runs to the cubbyholes at the front door and looks through them to pick out the ones she wants to wear that day. Mommy's white scarf? Which one? Daddy's Redskins hat? Put it on, and let's go!

Her teachers at school have all told us that they think it's so cute that she comes in to school in different hats and scarves every day. I told them it was the best way I've found to get her out of the door. Plus, she gets to practice making her own decisions, AND she's learning about fashion!

Happy New Year 2010

Happy New Year!

I know I'm a day late, but yesterday was a rough day. It's better that I didn't post what I had written yesterday. I'm doing much better today, thanks to the relief Londo gave me yesterday.

I have hope (again) for the new year. I know that things will get better. Winters are always rough for me. This winter, my SAD has (again) become PPD. I find that rather depressing (is that irony?). But we'll manage. We always do. I see my doctor on Monday and I'm already extending the time I do my light therapy. Londo and I are working out ways to get me more sleep.

Londo called 2009 The Year of No Sleep. He's not wrong. But 2009 was also the year our family became a family of four. Our beautiful baby boy was born this year, and our amazing little girl has grown so much. Even with the little sleep, this year was wonderful.

I hope you all have a fantastic new year full of sleep!

Our Family Christmas

We had a wonderful Christmas! Our first Christmas as a family of four (plus 2 pets). It was special and meaningful and fun.

The Pumpkin is at a great age for the holiday. She is really starting to understand and remember and "get" it. Leading up to Christmas, she helped Londo pick out a tree, she helped us decorate, she read books about the birth of Jesus and about Santa Claus, and she generally participated in the holiday preparations and fun.

We are also starting our own traditions for our family. On Christmas Eve before we went up for bed, we each opened a small present and then hung our stockings up near the fireplace. After putting the kids to bed, Londo and I finished wrapping the presents together down in the family room. It was neat to realize that now WE are the parents and that it's OUR responsibility to get everything taken care of the night before Christmas while OUR children are asleep in their beds with sugarplums dancing in their heads.

On Christmas morning, Londo got up with the Pumpkin and took her downstairs while the Pookie and I slept an extra half hour (not only had we both stayed up a bit late getting ready for Christmas, but I was up with the Pookie for an hour at one point in the middle of the night and I was freaking tired!). He entertain the Pumpkin with the present she'd opened the night before.

When the Pookie and I came downstairs, we took down our stockings and opened them. Then we went into the front room/parlor/future library (when we can afford nice shelves) where the tree is and opened our presents. The Pookie hung out with us in his exersaucer and was pretty entertained by all the hubbub of opening presents. The Pumpkin sat in one of the chairs with us and was a champ at tearing the wrapping paper off and tossing it on the ground. Once a present was opened, she go, "Oh, thank you!" in this delighted voice, even if she wasn't sure what it was.

After presents, we had a delicious breakfast of omeletes that Londo made. Then the kids sat around playing with presents while I put together the apple pie I was bring to my parents' house. We all got ready in our red and green and headed over to my parents'. At my parents' house, we exchanged presents, ate a delicious meal and enjoyed time with family. For the dinner, there were 13 adults (including my almost 96-year-old grandma), one teenager (my 15-year-old niece), 6 pre-schoolers/toddlers (3 of which are my kids' cousins) and two babies (mine and my sister's boys). It was a full house and full table! It was wonderful.

Next year, we'll go down to the inlaws for Christmas. I know I'll miss waking up in our own beds and doing our own traditions, but we really love to visit the inlaws and we always enjoy the holidays there. Too bad there is no teleportation devise so that we could wake up in our house and beam over there for Christmas dinner.

We had a fantastic holiday and are looking forward to many more. Although winters are tough for me, the holidays are definitely a bright spot. I hope you all had happy holidays as well!