Skip to main content

Smiles in the Night

Originally written in early December 2009.

He is awake
again.
He wants to nurse
again.
I root around my pillow
searching for sleep
as the baby roots around my
breast searching for my nipple.
His wakefulness and fussing
trump my desire for
just one
more
minute
of sleep.
I unwillingly let go of the last
threads of unconsciousness. Tired,
frustrated, I swallow my yells,
my curse words. He senses that I am
awake. His fussing becomes coos. He looks
up at me, his round eyes wide.
He smiles.
His entire
toothless
mouth is wide,
his entire
face
lights up. His nose and eyes crinkle,
his round cheeks become even rounder. His
happiness at seeing me looking at him
is undeniable.
I melt.
I smile
back at him. I help him
find my nipple, get his comfort. This time is
fleeting in the overall span of my
life. For now, he needs
me more than I need
sleep. The love, the smiles make it
worth every missed minute of rest.

Comments

happenstance said…
girl, that was a beautiful poem, but i'm glad you told us it was written a month ago, caus ei was all like "That baby better get back in the crib and go to bsleep!!" lol.

I'm planning on coming over tomorrow night around 6:30-7 again. if that needs to change let me know. Tell your dude i'm bringing him "Duma Key", let me know if i can bring anything for you.

by the by, your blog is kewl : ) i actually crawled into the 21st century and made one myself (Confessions of a freecycler - ha!)

ttyl chicka.
caramama said…
@happenstance - Yeah, I was afraid that someone would think it was a reflection of what's going on now, which is exactly why I put the date on it. It's not. Last night, the boy only woke up twice, and both times went back to sleep in his crib easily after I fed him! Looking forward to your coming over tomorrow night! I'm off to check out your blog now...

Popular posts from this blog

Baby Fidgets in Sleep (and While Awake)

Since I've started this blog, I've had quite a few visitors find me through a search for something like "baby fidgets in sleep" or "baby fidgets in bed" or simply "baby fidgets." This leads me to believe that there are others out there with fidgety babies who drive them crazy enough to search on the internet for some information about fidgeting babies. So I thought I'd do a whole post to discuss the fidgety nature of my child and how I deal with it.

Do you want to know when my child first started fidgeting? IN UTERO!! I'm not kidding. When I was pregnant, this baby moved a lot. She was very often kicking and pushing and hiccuping. OMG, the hiccups! I thought they would drive me nuts. Every. Single. Day. For. Months. Straight. Often more than once a day. I am not exaggerating--you can ask Londo or the many people I worked with, all of whom had to hear about it. I just thought it was part of being pregnant, and it probably is, but I've al…

Some Babies Just Fidget

I have mentioned before that we had a very fidgety baby. It's been a while sinced I talked about it. Although she is still pretty fidgety, at her currently toddler stage it seems more normal and has in many ways translated into bigger, general movements, like climbing.

But I still get a ton of search hits that have to do with baby fidgeting or flailing while sleeping or nursing. Some people stay around and read a bit, and I hope they get what they need from the posts I wrote specifically aboutthis topic hoping that others realize they are not alone. Most people don't stay at all, and I figure they are probably looking for medical reasons why babies fidget (like I would).

Then I got this comment, which does indeed show that people are looking for medical reason. Anonymous said that she wasn't sure if the Pumpkin's fidgets were as severe are her 3.5 month old. Well anonymous, I can't be positive since I haven't seen your child, but at some points they were as bad …

Fidgety Baby Growing Up

My daughter was a very fidgety baby. More fidgety than any other baby I knew through all my years of babysitting, being an aunt and having friends and family with babies. So fidgety that I wondered if something was wrong, if there was an underlying reason for her fidgetiness.

There really wasn’t anything wrong. As far as I can tell, she simply has a LOT of energy in her body. Her father is the same way. Londo is full of energy and has always been a fidgeter. And me? I can’t sit in one position for a long period of time. I don’t really fidget so much as I shift positions periodically, and I don’t think I ever simply sit normal, facing forward with both feet on the ground when I’m in a chair. In fact, sitting normal sounds like torture to me.

But three years ago, when the Pumpkin was a few months old and through her babyhood, I didn’t know why she was fidgeting so much. When I would nurse her, when we’d be rocking her to sleep, when we would try to hold her calmly, when we’d be lying in…