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Will I Ever Be Normal Again?

So, it's been almost a year since I gave birth to my firstborn. I must admit my surprise that some things from pregnancy or post-pardum as still going on. I really thought by now my body would be back to normal (as normal as it gets). I don't know if it just takes longer than I thought to recover, if some of this is because I'm still nursing, or if something is truly haywire with my body. I have talked to the Ob/Gyn at my last appointment, and although she checked my thyroid, it was normal and she thinks it all just normal. But that was months ago.

Here's what's still going on:
-My hair is still falling out like crazy. I don't know how I have any left, but I won't if this keeps up.
-The very real possiblity still exists that when I sneeze, I may pee my pants a little if I'm not careful. I didn't even end up delivering vaginally, so what is the deal?
-My breast are still itchy. I think it's worse when my allergies act up, but they never itched prior to the birth of the Pumpkin, so what gives?
-My appetite is still insane. I'm sure this is because I'm still nursing, but I think she recently went through a growth spurt or something, because I've been ravenous.
-Part of my C-section scar is still a bit red and sore. I really thought it would be all healed up by now. It's not infected or inflammed or anything like that, just still sore.
-Emotionally, I'm still a bit of a roller coaster. Any hint of a sad story, especially involving kids, will literally make tears well up in my eyes, if not outright crying. Even if I just read the headline! I've always been sensitive and a softy, and I do cry to release emotions, but it's been slightly over the top since pregnancy.

There are other things too. I am trying not to worry much, at least until I'm done having kids. Then, I'll start to worry. But they do drive me a touch crazy.

I guess it could be worse. I could be pregnant again already and have these things in full force. HA!!! Oh, that's funny now, only because I know for sure I'm not pregnant. A week ago, that would not have been funny...

Comments

Becoming Mommy said…
I asked my doctor about it (the nice OBGYN who delivered Sasha, not random other practice members). He said some things are still weird while your breastfeeding because the act of breastfeeding puts your body in a pseudo-menopausal state because of what it does to your hormones.
That's why periods are weird.
It's why your skin doesn't heal very fast or nicely (my scar is still aweful looking too not to mention the saggy flap o stomach).
And it can affect other things like your emotions.
So I'm waiting impatiently for the breastfeeding to be over an my body to return to what it's supposed to be.
As for the bladder issue, I've heard it's really common amoung women who at least attempted to give birth vaginally. Something about extreme pressure in the wrong place during the labor effort damaging something. I've had that problem too and I've been doing keigels and such to just try and make it as good as possible and hope that the end of BFing will help it improve too.
limboland la la said…
ahhhh for fux sake. i just did the sneeze and pee thing, i was really hoping that was a one timer.

i'm sure you've googled but:
stress and hair loss:

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/hairloss.html

scar pain/ surgery scar pain

http://www.ispub.com/ostia/index.php?xmlFilePath=journals/ija/vol8n2/laser.xml

actually there's lots of pages and can be more specific to the cesarean as well...

i can't wait to hear from some experienced mothers (gals who have been mom's longer than say, you or me) and their takes.
La folle maman said…
I can't really offer any advice but I can definitely sympathize with you. Especially the appetite part. Yesterday, I ate a turkey sandwich for lunch. Then at 2:00 I went to McDonald's and got a shake and fries. Then before going to bed (after eating yet another turkey sandwich), I ate two packages of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls. I like to blame it on the 500 calories I'm losing by breastfeeding but I think it's more stress. Or perhaps it's just that I've become used to eating like that since being pregnant.

I think I've given up on the whole getting my body back part although somewhere in the back of my mind there still a delusion that I'll work out 3 hours a day at some point and look like Madonna at 50. Yeah, right.

Do you still have "pregnancy brain"? I definitely haven't regained my total brain back and a woman at work says I never will. Fantastic. Oh well, at least I can blame it on that when she asks for something that's overdue. ;)
ImpostorMom said…
I'm right there with you except for the scar. Mine actually seems to have healed up really nicely and when I lift my Dunlop off of it it seems to be fading some too. (sorry, that was gross :P)

I am definitely more emotional since having a child and having weaned recently it was almost like I went through another round of post partum stuff. I actually felt more of an upheaval with weaning than I did right after birth. Now it is possible that I just noticed it more this time though because I'm running on more than an hour or two of sleep.

I am anxious to get rid of any type of hormonal birth control though. Want to see if that might be adding to the issues.

Good luck and maybe it will get better just in time to get pregnant again. :)
-Dana said…
Could diet be a possibility for the hair loss?

If a mother is still nursing, it’s important to eat a healthy balanced diet with extra fluids (water). Eating extra calories is not what’s important, it is the quality of the extra food you eat. If you are filling yourself with empty calories of sugar, you are starving yourself of the nutrients you need to feed yourself and your baby. I never understood the “eat anything I want” attitude. Why wouldn’t you want to give yourself and your baby the best/healthiest fuel to grow and live? You can’t go wrong with a balanced diet… and an occasional treat.

When I was pregnant and breastfeeding I took diet very seriously and I feel like my body was better for it. It was tiring in itself to always make sure the frig was stocked with good food to snack on and to make healthy meals. I must admit that since I’ve stop breastfeeding, I’ve been way more lax, but nutrition is still important to me because I know I want to have another child and live a long healthy life.

I apologize if I seem preachy, but it’s something that is very important to me.
Don Mills Diva said…
I kinda had the sneeze and pee problem for about a year after delivery and I ended up with a C-section as well...
Jezer said…
I finally accepted the fact that the abnormal was my new normal. A year after weaning AND being on the regular ol' hormone BC pill, I STILL have milk. And my body? Oh, I don't think my body will ever be the same. My hair finally stopped falling out about 6 months ago, and my severe sweet tooth has FINALLY subsided. Yes, my son is over 2 years old. In other words, I feel your pain, and it does get better. Eventually.
Cloud said…
Interesting... I ended up with a vaginal delivery and don't really have the sneeze and pee problem. I wonder why? I can't claim to have done any Kegels or anything.

I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I'm heading back to a new normal, not my pre-baby normal. Keeping that in mind helps me not mind some of the emotional things. I figure I'll eventually learn how not to cry at sad news stories about babies. Or I'll learn how to more effectively avoid them!

My hair is still falling out in clumps, too. I'd really like that to end. I'm enjoying the "eat like a pig and don't gain weight" thing, though, and not really looking forward to that ending.
Karen said…
Welcome to the side of motherhood that nobody ever talks about. I mean, who would have kids if they knew these side effects existed?

My baby is 5 and I cannot sneeze, run or use a trampoline for fear of wetting myself. My kids find this absolutely hysterical.
I share your pain about things just not being back to normal. I am getting much closer now that he is 7 months... I feel at least that I have my body back (well outside of the breasts! and the fact that I get mauled by him constantly... oh and all of the ways that have changed permanently.

The hair on my legs changed. I lost so much hair for a while that you can see it growing back in... my hair dresser just laughs and we try and deal with it. My butt got saggy... seriously was this necessary? cause everything ELSE will be saggy from the babe :)

I would try checking your diet/supplements. Our dr. is really big on diet and making sure you have the right nutrients. I am still taking prenatals (since nursing is actually more intense on your body than pregnancy) a b-complex, and high dose OMEGA 3's. When I stopped with all of that around the holidays I got crappy... and not I feel so much better.

I think our bodies SLOWLY go back to 'normal' which is not the pre-baby normal. I really wish I had appropriately worshiped and enjoyed and mourned that body before it was gone forever!

Ok now to read the most recent post!
Shellie said…
Welcome to the new normal. The one no one warned you about. My first was a c-section and the scar was like that too; it took a number of years to stop itching and getting red, but eventually it did. It may be the nursing hormone thing- I nursed for like forever. The pee thing varies from woman to woman and probably a lot is just your musculature. A baby stretches things out down there no matter how you deliver. It is hard to recover because so much has happened and is still happening to your body and having a baby around makes taking care of yourself harder than ever!

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