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Question of the Week - Coming to Terms

Londo and I had a big talk last night about, shall we say, family planning. I'm not going into it, and there was no real final decision made. It was just about talking through where we are in our heads and hearts. When it comes to the heart, there are cases to be made on both sides. When it comes to the head, there are cases to be made on... well really just one side. Even though I have this biological, emotional and mental desire to have three kids, I actually want to want to be done with two.

So we had this really great discussion, laying everything out there. It helped me to start thinking about things differently. Because even though I previously said I'd give it a year or two and focus on how things are currently, I wasn't. I was constantly thinking about how to work another child into our lives. It was an obsessive thought that was detracting from my enjoyment of my life, my relaxation into how things are currently.

And now? Now I think if I could only come to terms with having a family with two kids, everything would be much easier. It may be weird to say it this way, but it's pretty accurate. If I could just let go the desire for another child, blame it on biology and long-held fantasies, it would ease this burden I feel, the stress I feel about not being done. I'm working on it--for now.

This week's question of the week is:

What would make your life easier if you could just come to terms with what's going on?

In another area of my life, I think I would be less stressed if I just came to terms with the fact that I'm not going to get to work before 10. On the rare occassions when it happens? What a nice treat! But otherwise, I need to just accept the fact that the two drop offs, especially the one at the Pumpkin's school which happens between 9:00 and 9:15, are just going to mean that I'm not into work until 10. I need to just be okay with this. We've moved back our dinnertime to 6:00 to fit in with the later time in for me, and we might need to consider making it 6:15 or 6:30 so I can actually be home in time to sit down with everyone. I can't keep getting frustrated about how late I get into work when I know it just isn't going to change.

What about you guys? What do you wish you could come to terms with? What would ease your burden if you could only just accept it? How could you go with the flow to make your life better?


mom2boy said…
Huge question for me at the moment. Huge. I need to come to terms with the fact that my ex may not play a significant role in Tate's life and even if she does it will never be how I want it to be. I've been going nuts with the stress from it all and I have to come to grips with it. Just acceptance of how things are if nothing else. Good luck coming to terms with your own feelings on how things are vs where you thought they might/should be. It's a tough spot. Yoga really, really helps me let go of expectations and resentment. I downloaded a class online since I can't get to a live class with my new schedule and no co-parent in sight. I think I'm going to go do it now.
Meghan said…
I know exactly how you feel about having three kids, because reading your post made me feel like you were reading my mind. Our life would be so much easier if I, like my husband, was "done", but I can't even wrap my head around it!
hush said…
I need to come to terms with the fact that socially, where we live now is not going to be how we want it to be. These people are not who we would want them to be - but that doesn't mean we're going to be friendless hermits. There is a middle ground we need to find. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, I realize!

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