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I Wasn't Myself

Last night, Londo and I watched 300, which was a truly excellent movie. It's the kind of action-packed, adventure, hero-story I usually love. But this was the first time I'd seen it. Londo saw it--or rather most of it--in the movie theater. I had the option of seeing it with him in the theater with some friends of ours, but the ladies of the group decided to go see Music and Lyrics and I went with them. Usually I would pick the action flick over the chick flick, but I was over 41 weeks pregnant and not in the mood to see an action flick.

That's right, I was OVER 41 weeks pregnant. Can you guess why neither Londo or I saw the ends of our movies? The timing was impeccable, like a sitcom, really, when I hurried off to the bathroom, discovering my water broke and text messaging Londo with the news. But that's not what I wanted to write about today. I like the idea of writing my birth story on the year anniversary (like someone else I know did), so that story will wait.

But finally watching 300 got me thinking about when I was pregnant. I simply wasn't myself. A lot of things I usually enjoy and even love, I had no interest in. I didn't want to watch action movies or even football. I didn't want to play poker. My fantasy football team sucked because I didn't want to pay any attention to it. The only books I had any interest in were pregnancy books and parenting books. I didn't even want to have sex! (Poor Londo.)

I felt like my body had been taken over by some alien who was no fun at all. I don't know if was just me like that or if anyone else was like that. But no one warned me about this. I knew I'd be tired, moody, uncomfortable, but I didn't know that things I usually enjoy would hold so little appeal that I'd rather stick a fork in my eye than watch/do those things.

I'm happy to say that I enjoy all those things again. It took a few months for them to slowly come back into favor, but they are. I choose the movie 300 last night as what I wanted to watch. I've been winning at poker and fantasy football again. I'm reading a wide variety of books again. And the sex is fantastic and frequent! (I know you all were dying to know about that.)

So, when Londo says that he is ready whenever I am to start trying for another baby, I look at him and say, "You are ready to not have sex for 9 months?" He apparently hopes it will be different this time. I have to be prepared for the alien to take over again. Luckily, we are not trying just yet. I've got some time to be myself again.


ImpostorMom said…
Oh dear lord, certainly no baby for me anywhere in the near future. I didn't actually mind being pregnant all that much, but those first few months were trying at best.

I actually had the opposite sex issue while pregnant, I wanted it all the time but it totally creeped the husband out.

I can't wait to hear your birth story now. I actually don't know it already. :)
Crystal said…
I was so completely useless when I was pregnant. I'm completely dreading doing it again--not just the pain, but like you said, the fact that you almost become an entirely different person. still gives me the shudders and a nervous eye twitch.
OneTiredEma said…
Londo will be relieved to know that you might feel differently the second time around.

I had a pretty randy period in the middle of my 2nd pregnancy, maybe weeks 18-23, DESPITE the fact that Miss M was up every night at 4 am and wound up in our bed.

But then when it was over it was like flipping a switch: on/OFF. Poor guy.
Londo said…
I will roll the dice and take whatever comes my way.


(though I am clearly hoping for randy and energetic)
Jezer said…
We seem to have so much in common--from the incidental (I LOVED 300!) to the monumental (Alex still doesn't sleep WELL, and it was around his first birthday that he started cutting me a break. Things are much better--although not ideal--in that department).

I also waited until Al's 1st birthday to post the birth story. I just wasn't in any hurry to revisit that experience, and I think it took me that year to fully digest the whole thing.

And yeah...things DO get better and you begin to feel more like *you*. And yes, you'll be way more 'together' next holiday season. I can vouch for that.

Thanks for the comments over at my place!

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