I know not everyone has great or even good Mother's Days. I get so frustrated for my friends who are disappointed by sucky Mother's Days. However a person feels about Valentines Day, religious holidays or government holidays, even if they are "made-up" holidays, I really feel that Mother's Day and Father's Day are important.
Parenting is hard! Raising kids is full of ups and downs. Mothers and fathers work really hard for their children, and I believe that all most people want is a little recognition and appreciation! Is one day a year too much to ask? Even if you are lucky enough to constantly get recognition and appreciation, one full day of being able to take it easy is not too much to ask.
With young children, the onus of Mother's Day (or Father's Day) definitely falls to the partner. (This must be hard for single parents!) Sure, my kids make me cute things in their classes, and the schools have Muffins for Moms, but the day itself and purchased presents can only be handled by an adult. (Which reminds me, I better start planning for Father's Day!)
My husband is just fantastic! He is especially good at being thoughtful and planning in advance. He never just buys any old cliched gift, but instead really thinks about the person he is buying the gift for and what they would find meaningful. (One year before my birthday, I actually had to tell him that sometimes I just want the cliched chocolate or jewelry or lingerie! So he bought me all three for my birthday.) I wish I had his talent for gift buying, but I've at least learned a lot from him.
And on Mother's Day? He basically gives me the gift of the whole day! I get to hang out with him and my kids or without them in any way I want. I get to have the joy of playing with the kids or sitting in my bed without any of the frustrations that come up in normal activities.
This year was just fabulous. And I'm going to write out my whole day so that I'll always remember how fabulous my Mother's Days are thanks to him and the kids.
Londo woke me up with breakfast in bed at the agreed upon time of 9:00. He made one of my favorite breakfasts: a homemade breakfast sandwich with Canadian bacon-type of ham, scrambled eggs and cheese. He included fruits and a perfectly-fixed cup of coffee. Not only that, but I woke up to him and the kids coming in the room singing "Happy Mother's Day to you..." Each child held a tulip, while Londo held the tray with breakfast. Then they all kissed me and left me alone to eat my breakfast.
Yes, it was as perfect as it sounds.
After breakfast, I went down to open my presents, which Londo had the kids pick out on the internet and make me cards. I got a lavender bath set from the Pumpkin and two magnetic sheets to slide pictures into and hang on the fridge from the Pookie. Super cute stuff, and they really thought about what I might like (Daddy's teaching them well)! Londo got me gifts in a theme. The theme was "strong women" he told me as I opened the gift bag. I got an Amy Winehouse CD, a Miranda Lambert CD and the DVD set of the short-lived, totally campy TV show Cleopatra 2525... a show I totally loved and we'd been talking about recently. In addition, Londo had done all the dishes! Fabulous gifts, each and every one!
I went back up to sit in bed with my computer and immediately put the CDs into my iTunes. And listen to them, of course! I got out of bed before noon (11:45, but that still counts!), took a shower and then had lunch. A fantastic, easy morning. I wanted to spend the day working on a couple projects, which I did next. I finished going through and filing or throwing piles of paper I had in the guest room/craft room.
Once the room was clear (I'm not going to count the piles hidden in the closet), I set up the sewing machine I bought a few months ago. And then, I watched the DVD that came with machine and set it all up! I wound the bobbin! I threaded the bobbin! I threaded the top thread! And then? I practiced a few lines of stitches to make sure it was all working correctly and that I didn't mess it up. And IT WORKED!
I'm thrilled! I've been wanting to start sewing for a long time, and now I have the machine AND it is all set up just waiting for me to make the pillow I've been planning to start with. The Pumpkin got a sewing machine for Christmas (she'd been wanting one for a while), and I had told her that once I set up my machine and start getting the hang of it, we'd get her machine set up and start sewing together! I'm so excited!
It was a lovely day outside, so with my projects complete, I went out and sat on the glider looking through sewing books while the kids played. Londo was going to grill, but apparently wasps made a nest in our grill since last summer. He moved indoors to cook me steak and veggies. In addition, he pointed out that my dad was likely going to be home alone for dinner, since my mom was at her beach house for the weekend. After getting my approval, he called my dad to invite him over for dinner. And my dad told him that my mom was on her way back and would be home in time for dinner. So I immediately called her up and invited her over!
It was really great to have them over for Mother's Day dinner. And I could see that it made my mom especially happy too, making me realize that my siblings and I need to plan a special celebration for our mom on the Saturday of Mother's Day weekend. She may say that she doesn't want anything and wants us to spend time with our families getting pampered by them, but I could easily see that it made her so happy to have Mother's Day dinner with us. I regret not realizing that sooner and planning something that she couldn't say no to.
Londo put the kids to bed while I saw my parents out. That night, I just hung out in our bed playing games on my phone and watching the Murphy Brown Mother's Day special. Londo had been having a really hard time with allergies, but he spent the entire day not letting it show. He got up with the kids early, did all those wonderful things (including mowing the lawn so we could go outside) without even seeming like he was tired or dealing with bad allergies. And though he was trying to stay awake to have some romantic time with me, I told him to go to sleep early. I had a fabulous day and was enjoying the TV shows and games on my phone.
It was just a fabulous day! Everything was wonderful! I would have been fine to simply have a day without the kids fighting and me not having to do dishes. But this day, as the other Mother's Days, was well beyond just making me feel fine. It made me so happy. I feel so loved and appreciated and respected!
Too bad every day isn't Mother's Day! ;-)
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Second Child, First Kindergarten Orientation
Yesterday was the Pookie's kindergarten orientation! This was a first for us, since the Pumpkin stayed at the Montessori school through kindergarten. The Pumpkin started elementary school in first grade, and they are both so excited that they will be going to the same school next year!
After walking the Pumpkin to the bus stop in the morning, I talked with the Pookie as we walked back home. I reminded him that we were going to his kindergarten orientation later that morning, and answered some questions he had.
He asked if he was going to start in kindergarten tomorrow (everything in the future is tomorrow to him), and I once again described the seasons and how it was spring and soon would be summer and then it would be fall. And that's when he would start school. In the fall. And then he asked, "So I get to go tomorrow?" Sigh. We are working on the concept of time.
He asked if he would be in the Fives' room with the Pumpkin. His current preschool/daycare has their rooms by age, and he goes into the room with the five-year-olds in the afternoon, where his sister also goes after school. So I explained to him that he'd be in the Fives' room at the new school, which is called kindergarten, and the Pumpkin would be in a different room--the Sevens' room, which is called 2nd grade. But, I told him that he would get to ride on the bus with his sister every day!
After walking her to the bus and watching her ride off in the bus every day for the last 9 months, he is REALLY excited to ride the bus. Especially with his sister! In his words, "I want to sit next to my beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, BEAUTIFUL sister on the bus!"
When we got to the kindergarten orientation, it started with the Pookie writing his own name on his name tag! (He learned that in the last few months, and he's getting really good!) I had brought the Pumpkin's lunch with us, since I was in a hurry in the morning and figured I would just bring it in when we got there. So while we waited for the orientation to begin, the front office called the Pumpkin to the office to get her lunch. It was so cute to see them both in the elementary school hall together! They were excited and hugged each other.
Then the orientation started. A group of the future kindergarteners went into one room, and the parents were to go into another room. The Pookie suddenly shied away, saying he was scared. Neither of my kids is great with transitions, and the Pookie has an especially hard time going into groups or classes on his own. And he is especially clingy to me. So I started to ask a teacher if I could just go in with him, but I was hesitant, since I knew once we were in he would not let me go easily. Thankfully, Londo knew all of the issues going on, swooped the Pookie up in a fun way, and got him into the classroom, pointing out the cool carpet and other things as they went.
I went into the other classroom to submit the paper work and register the boy for kindergarten. Londo met me after just a minute, letting me know that the Pookie was in the room and doing fine, listening to the book a teacher was reading to the kids.
We registered the Pookie, and then we went into another area where the principal talked to us about the school and starting kindergarten and the Core 2.0 Curriculum they use at the school. While she was talking, the kids came into the other side of the room and were coloring. The Pookie was as happy as could be, chatting with the other kids and having fun coloring. When they came over to us, he was so excited! He was LOVING everything about it!
Best of all? The next thing we did was take a ride on a school bus!!! We went out front and got on a bus that took us around the neighborhood. It was so cool! And it'd been so long since I'd been on a school bus!
One other cute thing: When we were leaving the last classroom to go to the bus, there was a box of legos sitting on the floor with quite a few legos left out on the ground. My little guy went over, saying indignantly, "Someone left the legos out!" He started cleaning them up! I told him to leave it so the kid who left it out could clean it up and so we could go on the bus. But what a neat guy! He was ready to clean up and keep the room neat, which gives me hope for him and what he's learning in his preschool!
It was a really neat experience for him, and for us. It will be hard to wait for the elementary school to start, but we still have to finish spring, then summer and then start in fall. Which I know I'll have to explain many more times until school starts, and I plan to show him on his calendar and we can mark off the days, if need be. But that's okay. He's learning so much, and I know he'll understand that soon, too.
After walking the Pumpkin to the bus stop in the morning, I talked with the Pookie as we walked back home. I reminded him that we were going to his kindergarten orientation later that morning, and answered some questions he had.
He asked if he was going to start in kindergarten tomorrow (everything in the future is tomorrow to him), and I once again described the seasons and how it was spring and soon would be summer and then it would be fall. And that's when he would start school. In the fall. And then he asked, "So I get to go tomorrow?" Sigh. We are working on the concept of time.
He asked if he would be in the Fives' room with the Pumpkin. His current preschool/daycare has their rooms by age, and he goes into the room with the five-year-olds in the afternoon, where his sister also goes after school. So I explained to him that he'd be in the Fives' room at the new school, which is called kindergarten, and the Pumpkin would be in a different room--the Sevens' room, which is called 2nd grade. But, I told him that he would get to ride on the bus with his sister every day!
After walking her to the bus and watching her ride off in the bus every day for the last 9 months, he is REALLY excited to ride the bus. Especially with his sister! In his words, "I want to sit next to my beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, BEAUTIFUL sister on the bus!"
When we got to the kindergarten orientation, it started with the Pookie writing his own name on his name tag! (He learned that in the last few months, and he's getting really good!) I had brought the Pumpkin's lunch with us, since I was in a hurry in the morning and figured I would just bring it in when we got there. So while we waited for the orientation to begin, the front office called the Pumpkin to the office to get her lunch. It was so cute to see them both in the elementary school hall together! They were excited and hugged each other.
Then the orientation started. A group of the future kindergarteners went into one room, and the parents were to go into another room. The Pookie suddenly shied away, saying he was scared. Neither of my kids is great with transitions, and the Pookie has an especially hard time going into groups or classes on his own. And he is especially clingy to me. So I started to ask a teacher if I could just go in with him, but I was hesitant, since I knew once we were in he would not let me go easily. Thankfully, Londo knew all of the issues going on, swooped the Pookie up in a fun way, and got him into the classroom, pointing out the cool carpet and other things as they went.
I went into the other classroom to submit the paper work and register the boy for kindergarten. Londo met me after just a minute, letting me know that the Pookie was in the room and doing fine, listening to the book a teacher was reading to the kids.
We registered the Pookie, and then we went into another area where the principal talked to us about the school and starting kindergarten and the Core 2.0 Curriculum they use at the school. While she was talking, the kids came into the other side of the room and were coloring. The Pookie was as happy as could be, chatting with the other kids and having fun coloring. When they came over to us, he was so excited! He was LOVING everything about it!
Best of all? The next thing we did was take a ride on a school bus!!! We went out front and got on a bus that took us around the neighborhood. It was so cool! And it'd been so long since I'd been on a school bus!
One other cute thing: When we were leaving the last classroom to go to the bus, there was a box of legos sitting on the floor with quite a few legos left out on the ground. My little guy went over, saying indignantly, "Someone left the legos out!" He started cleaning them up! I told him to leave it so the kid who left it out could clean it up and so we could go on the bus. But what a neat guy! He was ready to clean up and keep the room neat, which gives me hope for him and what he's learning in his preschool!
It was a really neat experience for him, and for us. It will be hard to wait for the elementary school to start, but we still have to finish spring, then summer and then start in fall. Which I know I'll have to explain many more times until school starts, and I plan to show him on his calendar and we can mark off the days, if need be. But that's okay. He's learning so much, and I know he'll understand that soon, too.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
The Beauty of My Children in Two Poems
Poem from September 2012
Shine of Moon
Her beauty amazes me...
Her long curls
spiral
down
her
back.
Her pale skin that elegant
shade of white and rose
that women bleach and
paint to try to attain.
The sprinkling of freckles
across
her nose and checks,
light
brown and soft looking.
Her almond eyes, my shape eyes, crinkling
when she smiles her engaging
smile, laughs her infectious
laugh, grins in her incorrigible way.
Her long, lean
body is steady
sure
strong
balanced.
Her expressive face
announces her intentions,
determined in her goal or
anxious in her need, tight
with anger or free with love.
She has the beauty of the moon,
pale and engaging,
bright and interesting,
so lovely it's hard to look away.
Glow of Sun
His beauty enchants me...
His face and eyes are round with apple dumpling cheeks.
The hazel of his eyes are becoming the same rainbow as mine,
brown, green, yellow and blue melding together, shining bright.
His curls spring close when his hair is short, loop large when
his hair grows to droop below his ears, soft and silky.
He smiles that smile, stares up with those eyes, charming
everyone who benefits from his attention. He gives a devilish
smile, almost taunting with his eyes, face shining with naughty
excitement, daring you to say no, turning back on the charm
when you do say no. New freckles occasionally appear, on
his chin, his arms, his legs. His body is growing leaner, longer.
His bottom is still round, his hands are still full, but his body is
no longer little and padded. He shines like the sun, warm
and full, strong and gorgeous, so handsome it draws you in.
Shine of Moon
Her beauty amazes me...
Her long curls
spiral
down
her
back.
Her pale skin that elegant
shade of white and rose
that women bleach and
paint to try to attain.
The sprinkling of freckles
across
her nose and checks,
light
brown and soft looking.
Her almond eyes, my shape eyes, crinkling
when she smiles her engaging
smile, laughs her infectious
laugh, grins in her incorrigible way.
Her long, lean
body is steady
sure
strong
balanced.
Her expressive face
announces her intentions,
determined in her goal or
anxious in her need, tight
with anger or free with love.
She has the beauty of the moon,
pale and engaging,
bright and interesting,
so lovely it's hard to look away.
Glow of Sun
His beauty enchants me...
His face and eyes are round with apple dumpling cheeks.
The hazel of his eyes are becoming the same rainbow as mine,
brown, green, yellow and blue melding together, shining bright.
His curls spring close when his hair is short, loop large when
his hair grows to droop below his ears, soft and silky.
He smiles that smile, stares up with those eyes, charming
everyone who benefits from his attention. He gives a devilish
smile, almost taunting with his eyes, face shining with naughty
excitement, daring you to say no, turning back on the charm
when you do say no. New freckles occasionally appear, on
his chin, his arms, his legs. His body is growing leaner, longer.
His bottom is still round, his hands are still full, but his body is
no longer little and padded. He shines like the sun, warm
and full, strong and gorgeous, so handsome it draws you in.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
In Truth, It's Not Easier
I've been a parent for just over 7 years now. It's been wonderful. And a pain in my butt. And rewarding. And madness-inducing. And everything in between.
I've strived to be honest about what parenthood has been like to me. On this blog, I spent years writing about the good, the bad and the ugly. In real life and on Facebook, I share the joy and the pain. After all, being a parent is not easy, and anyone who says different is either a liar, delusional, a bad parent or extremely lucky (possibly all of those).
During the early years, the baby years, I struggled. But I kept thinking that it would get easier. That we'd get through the developmental and growth spurts and make it to the other side. The thing is, there is no other side. Just as life itself is really a circle, a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, so is parenthood.
I now have a 7 year old and an almost 5 year old. It's not easier to parent them, but it is different in so many ways. Their personalities don't change, but what they are dealing with and how they act do change.
There are different challenges to having a 7-year-old girl who gives me sass than the challenges of her looking at me defiantly while doing what I just told her not to do when she was a toddler. There are different challenges to having an almost-5-year-old boy who says I'm a mean mommy because I make him take a bath than the challenges of him throwing a tantrum and trying push me away when he needed his diaper changed.
What I've come to realize is that it's all variations on a theme. Their themes. So it doesn't necessarily get easier to parent them as they get older, but the challenges changes. The dynamics change. The tricks and techniques I and Londo use as parents have to adapt.
And though I believe it is so important to talk about the difficulties and not paint parenthood in some unrealistic way, I also believe it's vital to keep in mind the wonderful aspects of being a parent.
My daughter still is an amazing communicator and loves to snuggle up to us, just like when she was a toddler. My son still tells me how much he loves me and is great at puzzles and putting like things together, just like when he was a toddler.
We still deal with developmental regressions (and corresponding leaps forward) on a quarterly basis with both kids. And though the regressions are and always will be frustrating, the leaps forward are incredible! The things they can do now! It's just amazing!
So, no, it isn't easier. But it is still absolutely worth every second of the ups and downs to watch these wonderful kids of mine grow, develop and learn.
I've strived to be honest about what parenthood has been like to me. On this blog, I spent years writing about the good, the bad and the ugly. In real life and on Facebook, I share the joy and the pain. After all, being a parent is not easy, and anyone who says different is either a liar, delusional, a bad parent or extremely lucky (possibly all of those).
During the early years, the baby years, I struggled. But I kept thinking that it would get easier. That we'd get through the developmental and growth spurts and make it to the other side. The thing is, there is no other side. Just as life itself is really a circle, a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, so is parenthood.
I now have a 7 year old and an almost 5 year old. It's not easier to parent them, but it is different in so many ways. Their personalities don't change, but what they are dealing with and how they act do change.
There are different challenges to having a 7-year-old girl who gives me sass than the challenges of her looking at me defiantly while doing what I just told her not to do when she was a toddler. There are different challenges to having an almost-5-year-old boy who says I'm a mean mommy because I make him take a bath than the challenges of him throwing a tantrum and trying push me away when he needed his diaper changed.
What I've come to realize is that it's all variations on a theme. Their themes. So it doesn't necessarily get easier to parent them as they get older, but the challenges changes. The dynamics change. The tricks and techniques I and Londo use as parents have to adapt.
And though I believe it is so important to talk about the difficulties and not paint parenthood in some unrealistic way, I also believe it's vital to keep in mind the wonderful aspects of being a parent.
My daughter still is an amazing communicator and loves to snuggle up to us, just like when she was a toddler. My son still tells me how much he loves me and is great at puzzles and putting like things together, just like when he was a toddler.
We still deal with developmental regressions (and corresponding leaps forward) on a quarterly basis with both kids. And though the regressions are and always will be frustrating, the leaps forward are incredible! The things they can do now! It's just amazing!
So, no, it isn't easier. But it is still absolutely worth every second of the ups and downs to watch these wonderful kids of mine grow, develop and learn.
Monday, September 2, 2013
A Week of Firsts
The Pumpkin just stared 1st grade this past week. For the other 6 year olds in the neighborhood, this means going back to school in the next grade up. For the Pumpkin, this means starting in elementary school for the first time. Last year, we had a bit of reprieve because she stayed at the Montessori school in the classroom that was ages 3 through 5 and included a "Kindergarten Class" for the 5 year olds. So we didn't deal with the OMG-my-kid-is-going-into-kindergarten-and-leaving-the-nest that all my other friends with 5 year olds went through. But the Montessori school only went through Kindergarten.
So, we had a reprieve, but that ended this year.
The Pumpkin was very excited to go to the elementary school for the first time, to ride a school bus for the first time and take the daycare's bus to aftercare for the first time! The local elementary school is excellent, and I was looking forward to gathering at the bus stop with the other parents. We meet the teacher at a back-to-school sneak peak the Friday before school started. She was warm, friendly, funny and great with the kids. We are very hopeful about the Pumpkin's transition to the new school.
The first week has gone really well. The Pumpkin loves the teacher, has a friend in her class that was in her class at the Montessori school (I requested that they be in the same class on the sheet in the admittance paperwork), gets excited about the bus, and she even got to get food in the cafeteria (hurray for no more peanut allergy!). By day 2 or 3, the Pumpkin was a bit sad about not making a bunch of friends already. She is so outgoing and friendly that I think she expected to make a ton of friends immediately. Londo and I both talked with her about it and explained that making new friends does not always happen right away. That other kids may be nervous or shy and that all the kids need time to adjust to the new class. Those talks seemed to help a lot.
Her teacher called parents on Friday to give an update about how the children are doing so far! She talked with Londo, and she said that the Pumpkin was doing well so far. How awesome is that for a 1st grade teacher to do?
She is aware of the Pumpkin's previous school and that we were worried about her transition into the non-Montessori environment, and she agreed that is an area that the Pumpkin needs to continue working on. Based on what I've seen and what the teacher said, I do believe she'll fully transition soon.
This is hard, though. This letting go of my child. This letting her out into the world without my supervision in a school with older kids. This is not sending her to a carefully picked daycare/school and letting her spend 3 years there with the comfort of knowing the kids and teachers and administration. She is in a new environment with new rules and new kids.
I just want it all to go well, to go smoothly. I want everyone to love her and think she's fun and funny and realize how wonderful she is. I want her to make friends easily and enjoying learning and study hard even when it's difficult. Isn't that what all parents want for their kids? But we don't get to make that happen. Instead, we have to let them go and see how they do on their own. It won't all be easy and there will be ups and downs. But I know that she will be able to stand up for herself, she'll be friendly and nice to other kids, and she'll always have us as a safety net.
First grade. Where did the time go? The nights may have been long, but the years have flown by.
So, we had a reprieve, but that ended this year.
The Pumpkin was very excited to go to the elementary school for the first time, to ride a school bus for the first time and take the daycare's bus to aftercare for the first time! The local elementary school is excellent, and I was looking forward to gathering at the bus stop with the other parents. We meet the teacher at a back-to-school sneak peak the Friday before school started. She was warm, friendly, funny and great with the kids. We are very hopeful about the Pumpkin's transition to the new school.
The first week has gone really well. The Pumpkin loves the teacher, has a friend in her class that was in her class at the Montessori school (I requested that they be in the same class on the sheet in the admittance paperwork), gets excited about the bus, and she even got to get food in the cafeteria (hurray for no more peanut allergy!). By day 2 or 3, the Pumpkin was a bit sad about not making a bunch of friends already. She is so outgoing and friendly that I think she expected to make a ton of friends immediately. Londo and I both talked with her about it and explained that making new friends does not always happen right away. That other kids may be nervous or shy and that all the kids need time to adjust to the new class. Those talks seemed to help a lot.
Her teacher called parents on Friday to give an update about how the children are doing so far! She talked with Londo, and she said that the Pumpkin was doing well so far. How awesome is that for a 1st grade teacher to do?
She is aware of the Pumpkin's previous school and that we were worried about her transition into the non-Montessori environment, and she agreed that is an area that the Pumpkin needs to continue working on. Based on what I've seen and what the teacher said, I do believe she'll fully transition soon.
This is hard, though. This letting go of my child. This letting her out into the world without my supervision in a school with older kids. This is not sending her to a carefully picked daycare/school and letting her spend 3 years there with the comfort of knowing the kids and teachers and administration. She is in a new environment with new rules and new kids.
I just want it all to go well, to go smoothly. I want everyone to love her and think she's fun and funny and realize how wonderful she is. I want her to make friends easily and enjoying learning and study hard even when it's difficult. Isn't that what all parents want for their kids? But we don't get to make that happen. Instead, we have to let them go and see how they do on their own. It won't all be easy and there will be ups and downs. But I know that she will be able to stand up for herself, she'll be friendly and nice to other kids, and she'll always have us as a safety net.
First grade. Where did the time go? The nights may have been long, but the years have flown by.
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