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This and That

Update at bottom

I've been so neglectful, and I have a bunch of things that I want to say. So I'm doing one of those posts full of random tidbits, mostly updates from other posts. Hey, it's better than not posting at all, right?


I'd love to add all my online friends as Facebook friends. I really would! But (you knew there was going to be a "but," right?) when I started my blog I promised my internet-security conscious husband that I would not use our real names* or post pictures where you could see any of our faces. I'm on Facebook with my real name, with the Pumpkin's real name and linked to my husband with his real name. We have both already posted pics of us and the Pumpkin. So to friend my online friends (even via email) would go against the spirit of my promise to my husband and his comfort level of the internet and my blog. I hope you all understand. And I hope we can just keep up with each other through the blog. Maybe I'll get back into Twitter too... We'll see.

*Cara is actually a nickname for my middle name, and one that I no longer use in real life (except when meeting other bloggers). It's a shame, because it's the name I prefer by far, but everyone else knows me by my first name or the nickname of my first name.


We had about a week and a half of really good (for us) nights of sleep! About 3 of them, the Pumpkin slept through the night in her own bed all night long! The other nights, she would get out of her bed, walk down the hall, come into our room, climb in bed with us, snuggle with Londo and go right back asleep (which I've mentioned before). This suits us just fine, because we don't have to get out of bed and we are getting huge chunks of sleep! Now that Londo is used to how she wakes us up, neither of us have a problem with her coming into our bed, as long as she is sleeping. After all, we've spent well over a year cosleeping half the night in her room in that little twin bed where we were very uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, the last few nights have not gone as well. She is not going right back to sleep and is fussing, fidgeting and even crying. But at least we got a little respite.

Londo and I discussed how we felt if she continues to come into our bed long term (based on the feedback I got from you guys), and we both agreed that we honestly don't mind if it continues for even years. Londo remembers being scared of the dark when he was younger and that his parents always let him come to bed with them if he felt he needed it. It meant a lot to him. Also, we just don't have a problem with the "family bed" if that is what works for everyone. It's pretty normal in other cultures, and I know it's just about what each family is comfortable with. We long ago agreed that the dog and cat could sleep with us, and we've got a king-sized bed. If it's Londo, me, the dog, the cat, the Pumpkin and future child in bed with us, as long as we can all get comfortable and sleep most of the night, we are fine with it.

I totally appreciate the view points everyone shared in the last post about this. I don't know if I would have thought about the long term and discussed it with Londo on my own, and that was very important to do!


The Pumpkin and I have been taking showers together in our stall shower pretty regularly now, and it's working out great! We first attempted this when she had a stomach virus and we both needed to get cleaned up. Now, it's been become a fun, regular way to get her clean without me having to deal with the issues I was having with giving her a bath.

There have been a few times where she's thrown a toddler tantrum and even had a complete meltdown because she didn't want to get in or out or have a towel or whatever. But those would have happened no matter what we were doing--they were just those kind of nights.

She still doesn't like water right in her eyes, but I developed a great trick for rinsing the shampoo out of her hair. After shampooing it in while blocking the water, I put a washcloth over her eyes and get her to stand under the shower spray. The washcloth can be wet or dry, just as long as it doesn't have any soap on it. I hold it against her eyes with one hand while I rinse out the shampoo out with the other. And in no time at all, she is rinsed and back to playing with bottles and whatever else is on the stall floor.

The additional bonus is that I finally don't have to worry about how to fit in my shower. We usually shower at night, but sometimes in the morning, and not every day. This suits me perfectly! And I still get some showers without her, which is when I can shave and just enjoy being in the peacefulness of the shower.


In my car, the vents that are supposed to blow on my feet are not working. It has been very very cold. The other day, it was about 10 degrees F. Not only do I hate the winter, I also hate the cold.

The heater is working, just not the bottom vents. But consider this... I bundle up in a thick coat, a hat, a scarf and gloves, so I don't really need the heat blowing on my upper body. I wear pants to work, but no extra layer under them (because I don't have any maternity long johns). I do wear socks and shoes, but they aren't thick, warm socks or boots. So what I need the most is warm air on my bottom half. Which I don't get.

I'm hoping Londo will fix it soon. He thinks he can, but he needs to look at it. Maybe if he reads this post it will pressure him into fixing it soon. I'm not above that. ;-)


Well, that's all I've got for now. I've got a bunch more to post, but they are longer thoughts and deserve their own posts. Which means, I better start posting more regularly or I'll forget it all with my pregnancy brain!

Now I am feeling pretty self-conscious because no one is commenting. Are you all mad that I won't friend you on Facebook? It's not you, I promise! It's me! Or rather, it's Londo!!!


K8 said…
I understand perfectly about your paranoid husband's concerns. On the one hand, I share them; on the other hand, my real name and contact info (don't y'all go stalking me, now!!) are posted online and linked to my blog as a part of my attempt to find clients. I do also happily post pictures of us because, well, my family is scattered, and the blog is a way of sharing what's up with us, and especially the Infanta. Everyone handles the issue as suits them best. I did start referring to DD by a pseudonym, but since I'd been calling her by her name for several months, it's as much a nickname as anything.

I hope those heater vents get fixed soon!!!! I hate being cold, too.
Cloud said…
Your post only appeared in my bloglines about 30 minutes ago. I keep meaning to look for a better RSS reader.

I'd love to get our Pumpkin to take showers, because sometimes when we travel, the hotel has a stall not a tub. Last time we tried, she threw a fit, though. Maybe she's old enough to try again?
I'm Not Skippy said…
No hurt feelings about the Facebook thing here. Like I said I've never been that addicted to it.

I will say this. The kids in the bed thing was a contributing factor to my sister's divorce. It's a slippery slope. I tend to agree with most relationship/sex counselors on this one. Your bedroom should be a place for you and your spouse. It should be your one place to be away from the kid(s) to be alone as adults.

I'm not saying don't do it. I'm just saying keep making time for "adult" things alone with Londo, and make sure you do have a place to go to be away from the kid(s) for a moment or two.
caramama said…
I'm Not Skippy - That's a very valid point. In fact, we continue to start the Pumpkin out in her own room because we know we need alone, adult time, even if it's just watching TV together. When the Pumpkin was an infant and sleeping in the cosleeper in our room, we would put her to bed and go down to the family room to spend time together. Luckily, alone, adult-time activities don't have to be confined to our bedroom! (wink wink, nudge nudge)
Anonymous said…
I have wondered if there are people who go through the trouble of setting up a whole parallel pretend life and blog about it. What if you "friend" one of them and they turn out to be a creepy stalker person... dun, dun, DUN!
I'm Not Skippy said…
Ah, say no more, say no more. Does Londo like "pho-tog-raphy?"

Yes, but your bedroom has a door and a lock. Helpful for the now free and mobile toddler.
caramama said…
I'm Not Skippy - I literally meant watch TV, cause I'm concerned about certain shows (sit-coms and dramas and such) in front of the Pumpkin. We record them on the DVR and watch them together. Other adult-time activities can be done in other rooms with doors that lock or babygates that keep wandering toddlers securely upstairs!

My Buddy Mimi - I don't understand why someone would do that, but apparently those people exist! I don't think any of you are those people, because I really feel like I know you all. But I respect Londo's concerns. :-)
I'm Not Skippy said…
I thought we were doing the whole Monty Python thing.
caramama said…
I'm Not Skippy - Dude, I missed it. Sorry. No bonus points for me.
Anonymous said…
Sorry about not commenting much. It's been a really rough week ... heck, month. I think January is cursed for me. Last January wasn't fun either.

Anyway, glad to hear you are getting more sleep. The shower thing sounds really fun.
paola said…
We put a side bar up on Zoe's bed not so much to curb the wandering into our room in the middle of the night, but to help her feel more secure in her own bed. She was waking around 4 times a night and getting out of bed to come to us, and although I know this was due to the developmental spurt she was going thru, I was certain that it didn't help her feeling insecure and fearful that she would fall out of bed ( which has happened twice already). It so happened that if she slept in her cot at night, she'd sleep the whole night, in her own bed, she'd wake as mentioned 3/4 times a night. I wasn't expecting miracles, but the night we put the bar on the side of her bed she slept 12 hours, and since then has been sleeping from 8 to 7 consistently.

I know Pumpkin is bigger than Zoe and perhaps braver, but Zoe has never even bothered trying to climb over the bar ( quite frankly, the kid is not that silly to attempt it with the light off). When she does wake up I find her there sitting up in her bed, waiting patiently for me to come to get her. I'm really not worried that she will hurt herself in the attempt to climb out.
Anonymous said…
There is an old sitcom (Cheers maybe?) episode where someone has photos of their pretend family, using those pictures that are in the frame when you buy it :-)
cynthia said…
I totally get the security thing. You're so mysterious... :-)
Colleen said…
I wasn't going to comment since this post is pretty old (and I'm behind, as usual), but you guilted me into it. ;)

I had no idea that Cara wasn't your first (or part of your first) name...which makes it even harder to stalk you on FB...hee hee.

And I give you props for being willing to share a bed with a munchkin. Gavin sleeps like a tornado and we only have a Queen-sized bed, so when he kept coming in when I was pg, I just couldn't handle it. I'd make sure he was ok (wasn't scared or anything), then escort him back to his bed where he'd stay the rest of the night. He still comes to visit every now and again, but only cuz he's lonely and wants to be with Justin. I bet once we move Cooper to a toddler bed we'll find the two of them sleeping together a lot.

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