Drop-offs Get Easier Eventually... Right?

The Pumpkin really seems to like school. Each time I've picked her up from school, she has had a good day and talks about the fun things she did. When we are at home and we talk about school, she is happy and has good things to say. She even uses a happy voice to tell me, "I cry!" (She wasn't napping and didn't want to stay on her cot, so she cried.) When I get her ready for school in the morning and even when we get in the car to go to school, she seems excited and happy about it.

Then we get there. Things go downhill quickly.

Monday, she was obviously unsure of what to do and a bit overwhelmed. In the car, I had told her again and again, "When we get to your school, first, we will find your classroom. Then, we will say hi to Miss J. Then, you will get to play with the other kids!" This helped a lot. When we walked in the building, she looked overwhelmed and started hiding behind me, but I turned to her and said, "What do we do first? We find your classroom!" And she marched down the hall with me. Then we said hi to Miss J. And then, I encouraged her to play with the other kids. She didn't leave me right away, but after 5 minutes or so, she pulled off her backpack and jacket, handed them to me, and went off to play.

Tuesday morning, in the car on the way over, I started prompting her, "When we get to your school, first we find your..." She says, "Class room!" I prompt, "And then we say hi to..." "Miss J!" I prompt, "And then you get to play with the... " "Other kids!" That morning, almost as soon as we got in the room, she handed me her stuff and ran off to see what was going on at the table. That was the best morning.

Wednesday morning, she went with me right to the room, took off her backpack and jacket, said hi to her teachers (there is also a Miss K), but didn't want to go to the circle. She clung to me. It was hard. She was upset and fussing/crying a bit. As I tried to get her to go, other kids left the circle to do other things. When she saw another kid playing with the blocks they'd played with the previous day, she grabbed one. There was a brief moment of "Mine/No, mine!" But then I told her to build a tower with the other boy, and she put the block on top and thanked him for "helping." I said bye and left, but she wasn't really paying attention to me anymore.

Thursday, she started clinging and saying she wanted to go home the minute we got into her classroom. She insisted I stay and play with her. I told her I had to go to work. In fact, in the car on the way to school, I had added that after "play with the... other kids." The last thing now is, "And then Mommy has to go to..." "Work." But in the room, she told me she didn't want me to go to work. I had to stay there with her and play. Or she wanted to go home. The whole time, the teacher is trying to get her attention and to get her into the class with the others. I walked the Pumpkin into the room and lead her to the circle of chairs, and Miss J brought out stickers. The Pumpkin loves stickers, so she hurried over to get one. I slipped out. Was it a mistake to slip out rather than make a point of saying goodbye and being sure she knew I was going? I don't know, but I just did it.

This morning, it was even worse. She wouldn't even take off her backpack. It's Show and Share day, so we brought in her doodle pad (she picked it out to bring this morning. She's so cute!), but she didn't want to show the other kids or see what they brought. She wanted to go home. She wanted me to stay. When I said I had to go to work, she said she wanted to go to work. She was sobbing and clinging to me. She wanted to be picked up, or at least hold her hand. I brought her in the room more, hoping to smooth the transition. It might have made things worse--I can't tell. I simply couldn't pull myself from her hands as she sobbed at me. I kept trying all the techniques I could think of, from "I wish I could stay" to "I'm going to put you down now, and then I have to leave." Finally, she let go of me and turned, and I said bye as I hurried to the door. She sobbed after me, following me, but I went. I knew I just had to get out of there so as not to prolong it anymore.

I'm sure she was fine a few minutes later (I'm about to call to be reassured). She has fun there. It's a good place with good teachers. She is resilent and generally a happy kid.

I hear the drop-offs will get easier as she gets used to the new routine. But right now, it's tough. I hate to leave her like that, but I'm not sure what to do to make it better. I'm going to try to just leave as soon as we get in, and get there earlier when other kids are being dropped off. Maybe the weekend will help. Or make it worse. Man, this parenting gig isn't ever simple.