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Showing posts from July 5, 2009

Not My First Rodeo

The infant stage is not easy. Having two kids is not easy. Being at the edge of baby blues/PPD is not easy. But Londo recently pointed out that I'm actually handling the Pookie's infant stage better than I did with the Pumpkin.

With the first one, I understood what was involved with having an infant... in theory. In actuality, the first child has thrown everyone I know for a loop--especially if it is a high-needs child like the Pumpkin was (and is). I clearly remember at the end of the first two weeks, during which Londo or I had to hold the Pumpkin all day and all night, I cried to both my sister and my sister-in-law and begged them to tell me when it would get better. My SIL said it gets better at about 3 months. I think I died a little. My sister said that it does get slightly better after the 6-8 week period, but that SIL was right and it really gets better after 3 months.

I didn't know what I was doing, and that lovely daughter of mine was especially needy. I didn'…

Question of the Week - Cheer Up

I don't think there is an exact line where the baby blues becomes PPD. I think there is a big gray, murky area that's in between the two. I'm there. In that big gray, murky area. I know a huge part of how I'm feeling is the lack of sleep I'm getting, in addition to the crazy hormones and stir-crazy feeling of limited mobility due to healing from the c-section. But I know depression. And I know I'm at that edge.

I need to do things to help myself, to keep myself from going to the PPD side of the the big gray, murky area. I really don't want to be depressed. I don't want to feel that way or put more burden on Londo, who is always doing soooooo much for our family.

Don't get me wrong, I've had some great moments and beautiful times already. I am completely in love with my daughter and my son. These three weeks have been amazing. But also really, really tough. My high-needs first child still requires a lot of our time and attention, and she is still …