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Mama's Boy

Recently, Londo pointed out that the Pookie is definitely easier for me than for him. We've known this and talked about it before. It's been true since his birth, really. He's just always been a mama's boy.

Of course we are both very attached and bonded with both kids, but this is a different set of relationships. When the Pumpkin goes through clingy phases, she generally clings to either me or Londo. Since she was an infant, either one of us was able to calm her down. But with the Pookie? It's me he wants more often than not.

For example, when the Pookie was just an infant, Londo could not get him to sleep. He tried everything! All the things that worked with the Pumpkin and then some, and yet nothing worked. The boy wanted his mama, and usually to nurse. When I needed to get a chunk of sleep, I would have to nurse that boy into a deep, deep sleep and then very carefully pass him over to Londo who would hold him until he woke up hungry again, giving me a couple of hours by myself until the Pookie settled back into my arms for the rest of the night.

As an older baby and as a toddler now, he still will fuss and fret for Londo way more than me. When I get home from work, walk in the door and pick the boy up, he's as happy as can be. That is often when Londo informs me that he's been fussing non-stop and nothing Londo or even the Pumpkin did could make him happy. At those times, I love to look at my wonderful husband like he's crazy and say, "What are you talking about? He's perfectly happy!" Hehe.

Last night, I had to work late. I got home just barely in time to see my boy before Londo took him in the nursery to get him to sleep. He practically leaped out of Londo's arms into mine, which is his preferred way to get to me. He immediately cuddled all into my shoulder, tucking his arms into my body in just the same way he does when I rock or walk him to sleep. His whole body relaxed into mine. He was happy.

Then I transferred him back to Londo. I still had my work clothes on, and the Pookie was really exhausted, so Londo needed to continue putting him to bed right then. Of course, the boy freaked! out! He screamed at the top of his lungs, and it was really hard for me to not grab him back and tuck him back into my arms. Ah, mother's instinct. But Londo got him to sleep very quickly and easily without me.

It's very sweet to have a child who clings to me like that. It's a special relationship, and it is very heart warming. But it's not without its down side.

About once a week lately, the Pookie is waking up in the middle of the night. It seems to be related to his molars coming through, but it could also be some developmental spurt/regression/wonder week. When he wakes up fully, he requires one of his parents to get him back to sleep, and it takes 1.5 hours.

Many times, Londo goes in first and spends 45 minutes or more (depending on how much he can take and the time of the night) trying to get him back to sleep. If he's not back asleep, Londo gets me to take over. There have been other nights/early mornings when I've gone in the whole 1.5 hour, trying to doze in the glider while holding the boy. I don't think it would work AT ALL for me to go in for some of that time and then get Londo. He would pretty much freak out, because once he has me, he wants only me.

So last night, the Pookie woke up fussing and didn't settle back down. I woke up Londo to go in and get him. Once Londo made his way down to the nursery, I heard the Pookie go from general fussy-crying to screaming! Moments later, Londo comes back into our room.

"He freaked out when I tried to get him. He crawled to the opposite side of the crib, as far from me as possible. When I picked him up anyway, he head-butted me!" Londo said.

I was already getting out of bed. I was exhausted and barely able to move (it was the time of night when I have the most difficulty getting up for any reason, and that's why Londo gets him at that time). But I made my way down the hall and into the nursery.

The minute I stepped into the nursery, the Pookie stopped fussing and held his arms up. He just wanted his mama. Today I'm exhausted and my legs ache for having spent 1.5 hours not-sleeping while rocking in that darn glider. But sometimes the boy just wants his mama. And I'm okay with that.

Comments

Jac said…
I have a mama's boy too. He's perfectly fine if it's just DH and him together, but if I'm around - no contest, it's all about mommy. Secretly, I kinda like it though it would certainly make things easier on occasion if he would be more reliant on my husband. I'm a little worried about will happen when the baby arrives. I actually think that DH is going to have to be more hands on with the baby, so that I can be more with DS, just so we don't upset the apple cart toooo much (more than necessary).
mom2boy said…
Oh that is so funny that he head-butted your husband and then angelically reached out his arms to you! Mama's boy for sure! Enjoy it. There's something to be said for being your child's most favorite person on the planet. The sleep returns, I promise.
caramama said…
@Jac - I think that is a really hard situation. We were lucky that the Pumpkin really does great with either of us. The baby has needed ME way more than the Pumpkin did, so it was a relief that my husband was able to take over a lot of the child care for the Pumpkin. It does sound like your DH is going to have to be more hands on with your baby! Good luck!

@mom2boy - I also thought it was pretty funny... Hubby did not. I figure it won't last, so I am trying to enjoy it for now. :-)
Cloud said…
Last night, Petunia woke up at 10:30 and she screamed- high pitched shrieks, really- at everything Hubby tried to get her back to sleep. I came out and, she snuggled into my arms. But then she started shrieking at me, too. Finally, I figured it out. She wanted me to take her into bed with me. Once I did that, she calmed down and went to sleep.

We have created a cosleeping monster!

But she's a very cute monster.
Melba said…
Annie hasn't started showing a preference yet, but Rosie sure did (still does). When she was younger (about 9-18 months) she would actually flip back and forth... a few months where only Mommy would do, then a few months of only Daddy. I don't know when or how but sometime around 18 months to 2, it became, and still is, Only Mommy.

It is endearing yes. How sweet. But also annoying that I don't seem to get a break. And disappointing that I rarely put Annie to bed, because I'm busy with Rosie. I'd rather trade off and spend equal time with each of my girls. Often we simply tell Rosie that Daddy is putting her to bed tonight, because lets face it she's 3 and doesn't get to call all the shots. This sometimes goes over ok but usually ends in a fight for hubby to get her to bed. So while I'd like to enforce a 50/50 rule for Mommy/Daddy doing her bedtime, it's probably more like 70 Mommy / 30 Daddy.

And her preference also hurts hubby's feelings, I can tell. I remember the times where Only Daddy would do, and I felt the sting of it then.

It is a nice feeling to know that you can make it all better though, isn't it?
Kristina said…
For us it is whomever is taking her to daycare more often. So right now daddy is the favorite

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