Expanding My Thoughts and Topics

I have been feeling a bit stiffled on my blog lately, and I think it's because I'm not writing some major things I've been thinking about. I'm skipping some serious topics that pertain to my parenting because of some arbitrary distinction I made when I started this blog to stay away from things that might cause arguments or controversy.

But you know what? I'm not in that place anymore. I'm not as sensitive from pregnancy and nursing hormones. I'm not as unable to put together complex thoughts on deeper topics due to sleep deprivation. The focus of my thoughts have expanded outside the limitations of getting babies and toddlers to sleep, eat and poop. Although they certainly include those thoughts, too!

I'm a feminist, and I would argue that most people I know are to some degree as well. Do you think that a woman should be paid the same amount as a man doing the same work? Do you know that your daughter can be anything she wants to be when she grows up? Do you believe that women should have the same rights as men? I would say that most of the women and men I know would agree to all those. And that, my friends, makes them feminists. Your degree of feminism may vary from mine, but if we want our daughters and sons to be raised in a fair world where they can both be whatever they want to be, then be scared to say we are feminists!

So why don't I speak about feminist topics on my blog? I believe very strongly in raising my children with a firm foundation of feminism, as does my husband. Why don't I talk about issues of race or religion? These are also topics that I feel strongly about but rarely even talk about them offline. What good does that do anyone?

Keeping the thoughts and ideas we have in our heads means they stay in our heads. If we don't open dialogues about important topics such as racism, sexism, religion and politics, then how can we progress or come to agreements or simply just understand each other better? We will never be able to "just get along" unless we try to understand where others are coming from and communicate with each other.

I'm not saying that I'm changing the focus of my blog. Afterall, all the topics I had deep conversations about in college now have a different slant to them since I've experienced more of the world and, most importantly, since I've had kids. I have a different perspective now as a parent. I have different concerns as a parent. I have to make choices I never worried about before as a parent.

I guess what I'm saying I said in the title. I'm going to expand my thoughts and topics here on my blog. As always, it's important to me for me and anyone else commenting on my blog to be respectful and kind to each other. I love to hear other perspectives and ideas, so I hope others will share and not shy away from commenting.

Let's see how this goes.

Question of the Week - Scary Moments

Yesterday, I was walking down some stairs outside my church, when my shoe slipped a bit and I lost my balance with about 8 steps to go. I started stumbling down the cement stairs. With the Pumpkin settle against one hip, one arm holding her to me, which became a death grip to keep her against me.

I struggled to stay upright, and luckily succeeded--but just barely. Thanksfully, I had my other hand on the rail and used it to pull myself upright. I almost regained my balance twice, but gravity kept pulling me down. I didn't get my balance back until my knee landed on the cement at the bottom of the stairs.

One shin and both knees got scrapped up, pretty bad in some places. My arm was yanked pretty hard behind me, and that hand has a burn in the palm from the railing. My foot and the muscles in both legs are extremely sore, even more so today than yesterday. My arm that had been holding my baby is also sore because of the death-grip hold I had on her.

The Pumpkin? Not a scratch on her. Not even a hair ruffled. She was a bit upset when she realized I was so upset. One of the girls who works in the church nursery happened to be there and took the Pumpkin while I tried to calm down and regain the ability to speak. Once I was able to be coherent, I assured everyone I was fine and took the Pumpkin back and acted like it was no big deal.

But it was a big deal. Not just because it hurst to fall down cement stairs. Because I was holding my precious baby girl while it happened.

In the first instant I started to fall, I had this split-second vision of me tumbling and my little girl falling, with her head going straight for the cement ground so far away. That was probably the scariest vision I have ever had, because it was so close to happening and would likely have had a tragic ending! Even now, I'm so choked up when I think about it.

I do belief, though, that the vision was part of what spurred my herculean efforts to stay upright. It impressed upon me what HAD to be done, not what would simply be optimal. I fought so hard to stay upright, and through sheer force of will and (I really believe) a little help from God (I was outside of church, after all), I was able to land at the bottom without the baby ever touching any hard surface.

I shouldn't have. Really, the fall was in such a way that I should not have stayed upright and landed relatively okay at the bottom. I will take the scraps and bruises and the feeling of having gotten beaten up. I will also take the feeling of protecting my baby at the cost of my own body, the feeling that I was able to protect her against something tragic. I might not be able to protect her for the rest of her life (though I will try), but at least this one time I was able to. And I proved to myself that I am able to.

That is a good feeling, even if I had to go through such a scary moment to get that feeling. I'm all about the silver lining. ;-)

Which brings us to the question of the week:

What a scary moment have you had that you were able to come out of with a good realization about yourself or others?

I'm trying to keep this positive, as I'm not in to scare tactics and living in fear. So tell me something that ends positively! I know you all have stories!