Learning Her Native Language

I'm so fascinated with how my daughter is learning language. As a person who loves languages and words, seeing how a child's language develops first hand is really eye opening to me. I remember when I lived in Italy and spoke italian almost fluently, I was get so mad at myself when I mixed up pronouns or tenses. But watching my child go through those same things, I'm realizing that it is a natural part of learning any language.

We don't expect children to get even their native language correct from the get go. We know that they will say some words wrong, misuse phrases, mix up pronouns and verb tenses, and generally not understand some things that we usually take for granted. We generally aren't unreasonable in our expectations of children. We correct them or let it go when they don't say things right. It takes years and years and YEARS for them to learn their native language fluently, with higher and higher levels of vocabularly and grammar rules and goodness knows what else!

We tell them to "use their words" when they are frustrated/mad/sad, and it's up to us to teach them those words. Teaching them the words for their emotions, their needs and their wants not only helps us understand them and cuts down on their tantrums, but it also allows them to begin to understand their emotions, needs and wants. If you have a "spirited" child like I do, the book Raising Your Spirited Child has really helped me come up with phrases and ways to say things that I am teaching my daughter so that she will understand herself and be able to help other people understand her.

Recently, we've been working on helping her learn how to go to sleep by herself. It's a long process (no Baby Sleep Boot Camp for this child!), and I will post about my methods soon. Part of my strategy is teaching her the words she needs to know to understand what is going on and what she needs to learn. In the last few nights, I've heard her tell me the following:
-I'm having trouble going to sleep.
-It's hard [to go to sleep].
-I'm going to lay down and try to sleep. (I'm still working on lay versus lie with her)
-I just need to cuddle a little in your lap. (She gets back in bed after I cuddle with her a little.)
-I'm ready for you to go now. (She wasn't, but it was still good to hear the words.)

I believe it is because I'm teaching her the words that truly reflect what's going on that I'm hearing less of the follow at bedtime:
-There's a shark in the anchor (pointed to the cords of the window). It's going to eat me!
-I'm scared to lay down.
-Nooooo! Lay down with me!
-Go away! (and a second later) Don't leave!

And apparently, I'm also teaching her how to say some things simply because I say them all the time. These include:
-Hey--as in, "Hey, everybody!", "Hey, that's not right!", and "Hey! Hey! Hey!" (to get attention).
-Cannot--as in, "No, you cannot do that." I'd heard Londo say to her, "Embrace the use of the contraction," and I couldn't figure out why she was always using cannot instead of can't. Until I heard myself tell her, "No, you cannot do that!" one day. Aha!
-Actually--as in, "Actually, it does fit you." Actually, I have realized I use this word a ton. Actually, it's really cute when she says it, too. Actually, I have no plans to stop saying it.
-Oh my gosh--as in, "Oh my gosh! Those are so cute!" which she said about the clothes I picked out for her this morning, even though she "actually" didn't want to wear the shirt I had picked out. She has always loved to make the surprised face and sound, and now she's added oh my gosh.

But some cute phrases she has either picked up somewhere else or developed on her own. My favorite one lately is:
-By my own. As in, she came up with that one by her own. Not on her own or by herself. She wants to do things by her own. And I love it!

All my observations about how her speech and language develops is making me want to re-learn italian or maybe even another language too. I think I will feel less inhibited about speaking now that I realize that making mistakes and not speaking perfectly is a natural part of learning a language. And maybe I'll come up with some cute little phrases in italian all by my own!