When I was growing up, my parents took me and my sister and brother up to my maternal grandparents' house on Cape Code for about a month every summer. (Doesn't that sound so fancy? In a Thurston Howell voice: My family would summer on Cape Cod, you know.) My mom was from the Boston area, and her parents moved to the Cape when they retired. Since we lived in the Washington, DC, area and my mom's brother and his family lived in Texas, we would all get together for a few weeks in August every year. My sister, brother, two cousins and I got along really well, and it was always so fun to spend the time with them and my other relatives who lived in Massachusetts.
My visits up there were very important to me, and the house was at the hub, was the foundation, of those memories. The house is in typical Cape Cod, with long, sloping yards in the front and back. It had a delicious vegetable garden and a prize-winning rose garden in the back, where my grandmother spent countless hours working and growing. There were lovely flowers blooming every around the house and the fence. The deck over the garage had a basketball hoop where I learned to play HORSE, and under the deck was the outdoor shower that was used by all 5 grandkids after every trip to the beach. The upstairs bedroom and deck had a breathtaking view of the ocean cove across the street.
We would walk across the street and down the path to the concrete boat ramp and little, sandy beach for easy days at the Cove. We would drive the 5-10 minutes to the ocean-side or bay-side beaches for full days of boogie-boarding and swimming and playing in the ocean and sand. We'd drive down to Chatham and spend the day shopping the quaint stores. And on rainy days or lazy days, we would break out the board games, playing marathon sessions of Monopoly that ended with handmade IOUs to fix someone ice cream for dessert or get someone a soda from the fridge downstairs for a stay in the hotel on Boardwalk.
It has been years since I went up to visit. Just before I got pregnant with the Pumpkin, my grandmother was finally convinced/forced to move in with my mom. Although she did NOT want to leave her lovely Cape Cod house, she was 91 and simply not able to live by herself any longer. Then, between being pregnant and having babies, it just wasn't feasible to make the 9 to 11 hour car trip up to the Cape, and the flight just seemed like too much work. Londo and I would take our family vacations closer to home or at his parent's house (a 5-6 hour drive away). At the end of each summer, I would lament not going to the Cape, and Londo would try to make me feel better with a "maybe next summer we can do it."
My grandma passed away over a year ago. Although my mom and her brother have been renting out the house on the Cape by week during the summer, it's still a lot for them to maintain. This spring, they decided to put the house up for sale. I realized that this summer would be my last chance to visit, and say goodbye to, the house that was so much a part of my childhood.
And so, I planned a family vacation to Cape Cod!
I had hoped to go with my sister and/or brother and their families, but the timing didn't work out. Instead, I asked one of my best friends if she and her family wanted to come. Of course they did! So we planned and packed and got ready for the trip. Unfortunately, her younger daughter got sick right before the trip and had to stay home with her husband. But she was still able to come up with her older daughter two days after we arrived.
The drive was long, but not bad all things considered. I'm really impressed with how well my kids handle car trips, especially this extremely long one. Being a Family That Travels has really panned out for us. With stops but no real traffic, it took us 9.5 hours to drive up to the Cape house. We got in late, and put the kids to bed in the bed we were going to sleep in also--in the room on the top floor. The next morning was my birthday, and I wanted to wake up in the room with the gorgeous view. It was a beautiful way to start the day... with the exception of the kids and Londo waking up around 5:00, although Londo took the kids and let me sleep in.
The vacation was wonderful. We did everything that I really wanted to do, including going to the beaches I wanted to revisit, going to Chatham for the day and going to local museum, which even played the same educational film ("The Sands of Time")I had seen again and again since I was very young and the Pumpkin really enjoyed.
Londo and I taught our kids how to play the board game Sorry, and when my friend and her daughter were up with us, we played many other board games with the kids and just the adults after the kids went to bed, just as the adults did when I was a kid.
Such a key part of my summer vacations at Cape Cod were having my two cousins there with me and my siblings, cousins I got to see only once a year. My friends' daughter was like that kind of cousin to my kids. We try to get together a few times a year, usually a weekend here or there, but this extended time together on vacation was great for them! Although we missed the younger daughter, the three kids had a great time together, and they entertained each other so well that they needed very little oversight from us. This provided us adults a lot of opportunity to spend with each other, especially my friend and myself. We talk on the phone regularly, but we miss living near each other, so this time together was really fantastic.
It wasn't all perfect. I had a very different perspective as an adult in the Cape house. For example, I had forgotten that the house didn't have air conditioning. Out on the Cape, it isn't usually so noticeable, and since I hadn't been there in so many years, I had totally forgotten. Now that I was a parent there with children I worried about, it was very noticeable that there was no A/C... especially since we had RECORD HIGH HEAT while we were there! We put fans in every room, but it was outright miserable at times. In fact, we didn't stay up on the top floor after the first night--it was much too hot up there. We moved down into the rooms on the main floor, which were more manageable.
The worst part about the heat was when Londo started getting sick, and then the Pookie got sick. The heat never feels great when you are sick, but the fans blowing on them made it worse. We were going to just muddle through it for another day, but when the Pookie crawled into bed next to me in the middle of the night on Thursday burning up with fever and smelling of throw up, I started reconsidering our departure date.
We had forgotten to pack kid's motrin/fever medicine, and my baby boy throws up the minute he has a fever. We needed to get his fever down, especially in the heat, but that was when we realized that NOTHING was open in the middle of the night on the Cape, at least near us. I ended up having to give the poor little boy a cold bath in the middle of the night. He hollered, but it worked. I was able to sleep for a couple hours before I got up with an alarm to be at the Stop and Shop grocery store when it opened at 6:00. And even though his fever went down and I got a little more sleep that morning, we realized that we couldn't stay in the house or take him anywhere in the record-high heat. We quickly packed up and left on Friday instead of Saturday. I did not remember that nothing was open in the middle of the night, or maybe never needed to know that, when I was young.
I also had forgotten how temperamental the fuses could be. When the microwave went out when we were cooking a big lobster dinner, it wasn't a huge deal. The next day, I reported it to my mom, who said that she remembered that they could never make coffee and use the toaster at the same time or the fuse would blow. I also reported the water mark on the ceiling of the dining room, and she said that this was why they were selling the house.
The house is old, and there is a lot of work they keep having to put into it. And my mom and her brother live so far away from the house. It just doesn't make sense for them to hold on to it. In addition, my parents bought their own beach house at a beach less than 3 hours away from where they (and we) live. It's a new house, with A/C, good electrical work and an easy weekend drive. It may not have my childhood memories, but it will be a great place for my kids to make their own childhood memories.
The trip was wonderful. I'm so glad I got to bring my family and have a final vacation at the Cape house. I will always cherish the memories, from my childhood and from this last visit. I got some closure. I even was able to put on a lobster dinner, an annual tradition from my childhood. It was really great, and even the traffic and stops that made the return trip 11.5 hours long did not diminish the wonderful vacation that we had and the memories that will live on.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Playing in the Family Room Shorts
My sister started a runner's blog (which is awesome!), and she's gotten me inspired. I miss blogging. I miss writing. I miss recording my kids' lives. The Pumpkin is 6 now, and the Pookie is 4. They are so adorable, and I to capture their cuteness!
Perhaps I can start it up again. We'll see. No promises.
So for now, three stories... what I used to call shorts...
--------------------------------
This morning, the kids were in the family room watching TV. The Pumpkin got up from sitting next to the Pookie on the couch and moved into the chair. The Pookie said, "Pumpkin*, where are you going?"
Her reply, "I'm in another dimension."
*He used her real name.
--------------------------------
This evening when they were playing in the family room, the Pumpkin called it "Kidsville"and said it was where kids did all the work and the parents just "took it easy." She was running a salon, giving pretend haircuts to her brother.
I was doing dishes and asked them if any kids wanted to come into the kitchen to do the dishes as their work. The answer was (not surprisingly) no. I asked if it was because I was in another dimension. The Pumpkin said, "No, Mommy. That [the kitchen] is Adultville. We are in Kidsville." And that was the end of that.
--------------------------------
While they were playing, the Pookie was being a superhero. He said his name was Chocolate. I said he sounds delicious and that I would eat him. He said that his name is Chocolate, but he is made of snakes. So he would taste like snakes and that would not be very good.
Shortly later, his sister said that the Pookie told her his superhero name was Warpath (Londo says this was after the Transformer he was playing with earlier). It was also Elephant. So I asked him, "Is your superhero name Warpath Chocolate Elephant?" His sister pointed out that Warpath would be his first name, Chocolate would be his middle name and Elephant would be his last name. He said, "No, ELEPHANT is my middle name." Of course!
So after a bit of discussion, it was determined that his name was Chocolate Elephant Warpath. But he was made of snakes, so he wouldn't taste good. I think it'll be the next hot superhero movie, don't you?
Perhaps I can start it up again. We'll see. No promises.
So for now, three stories... what I used to call shorts...
--------------------------------
This morning, the kids were in the family room watching TV. The Pumpkin got up from sitting next to the Pookie on the couch and moved into the chair. The Pookie said, "Pumpkin*, where are you going?"
Her reply, "I'm in another dimension."
*He used her real name.
--------------------------------
This evening when they were playing in the family room, the Pumpkin called it "Kidsville"and said it was where kids did all the work and the parents just "took it easy." She was running a salon, giving pretend haircuts to her brother.
I was doing dishes and asked them if any kids wanted to come into the kitchen to do the dishes as their work. The answer was (not surprisingly) no. I asked if it was because I was in another dimension. The Pumpkin said, "No, Mommy. That [the kitchen] is Adultville. We are in Kidsville." And that was the end of that.
--------------------------------
While they were playing, the Pookie was being a superhero. He said his name was Chocolate. I said he sounds delicious and that I would eat him. He said that his name is Chocolate, but he is made of snakes. So he would taste like snakes and that would not be very good.
Shortly later, his sister said that the Pookie told her his superhero name was Warpath (Londo says this was after the Transformer he was playing with earlier). It was also Elephant. So I asked him, "Is your superhero name Warpath Chocolate Elephant?" His sister pointed out that Warpath would be his first name, Chocolate would be his middle name and Elephant would be his last name. He said, "No, ELEPHANT is my middle name." Of course!
So after a bit of discussion, it was determined that his name was Chocolate Elephant Warpath. But he was made of snakes, so he wouldn't taste good. I think it'll be the next hot superhero movie, don't you?
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Understandably Cute
I was telling a story about my kids to a couple of coworkers the other day. They are both young, unmarried, childless men who put up with stories of my kids while not looking bored (this may be because I'm their boss). At the end of my story, one of them said, "You may not realize this, but when you say what your son said, you say it with a lisp."
"Oh, no. I totally do that on purpose. That is actually how he talks!" I responded.
He commented, "That must be really cute."
It is. It is REALLY cute. But... he can be hard to understand. It was very difficult when he was a toddler (1 and 2 years old), and it's getting easier now both because he is pronouncing better and he is explaining better.
For example, when he said the other day, "There are no wings," I have no idea at first that he is responding to my question 10 minutes earlier about swinging on the playground. Luckily, he added, "There are tyeh (tire) wings, but no regoolah (regular) wings (swings)." From the extra details, I was able to connect his response to my earlier question.
When he was younger and he'd say something we couldn't understand, we would say "what?" and he would sigh and say "nevehmine (nevermind)." Which was also adorable! But... I would often respond, "But I DO want to mind. I WANT to know what you are saying. Can you explain it?" Usually, he just couldn't. Or we'd guess and maybe we'd get it. Or he was already moving on to something else.
I was concerned for a while. Afterall, the Pumpkin spoke so clearly so early that my previous n of 1 really skewed the data from my sample population. There were a few mispronunciations (like yea-yo for yellow or wobberwhy for butterfly), but she was just so verbally ahead of the curve that even the mispronunciations didn't last.
Londo and I both worried that the Pookie was not progressing in his speech as he should be. We brought it up at his two year well visit, and of course he was fine. Completely normal. We breathed a sigh of relief, but did try to work with him a bit on dictation and pronouncing his words.
But seriously? It's just so freaking cute! I just can't bring myself to correct him when he says things in his adorable little lisp. And because it's so cute we let it go, even the Pumpkin has some words wrong that she learned from him. My favorite examples are from Star Wars. They call Boba Fett "Bubble Fett" and Darth Vader "Dark Vader."
Who can blame me for not correcting it? I know they will learn eventually, that he will lose the lisp. But it's precious, and I'm going to enjoy it. Even while I'm trying to teach him so he can be understood, I'm still going to enjoy his cute ways of saying things.
"Oh, no. I totally do that on purpose. That is actually how he talks!" I responded.
He commented, "That must be really cute."
It is. It is REALLY cute. But... he can be hard to understand. It was very difficult when he was a toddler (1 and 2 years old), and it's getting easier now both because he is pronouncing better and he is explaining better.
For example, when he said the other day, "There are no wings," I have no idea at first that he is responding to my question 10 minutes earlier about swinging on the playground. Luckily, he added, "There are tyeh (tire) wings, but no regoolah (regular) wings (swings)." From the extra details, I was able to connect his response to my earlier question.
When he was younger and he'd say something we couldn't understand, we would say "what?" and he would sigh and say "nevehmine (nevermind)." Which was also adorable! But... I would often respond, "But I DO want to mind. I WANT to know what you are saying. Can you explain it?" Usually, he just couldn't. Or we'd guess and maybe we'd get it. Or he was already moving on to something else.
I was concerned for a while. Afterall, the Pumpkin spoke so clearly so early that my previous n of 1 really skewed the data from my sample population. There were a few mispronunciations (like yea-yo for yellow or wobberwhy for butterfly), but she was just so verbally ahead of the curve that even the mispronunciations didn't last.
Londo and I both worried that the Pookie was not progressing in his speech as he should be. We brought it up at his two year well visit, and of course he was fine. Completely normal. We breathed a sigh of relief, but did try to work with him a bit on dictation and pronouncing his words.
But seriously? It's just so freaking cute! I just can't bring myself to correct him when he says things in his adorable little lisp. And because it's so cute we let it go, even the Pumpkin has some words wrong that she learned from him. My favorite examples are from Star Wars. They call Boba Fett "Bubble Fett" and Darth Vader "Dark Vader."
Who can blame me for not correcting it? I know they will learn eventually, that he will lose the lisp. But it's precious, and I'm going to enjoy it. Even while I'm trying to teach him so he can be understood, I'm still going to enjoy his cute ways of saying things.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Stealing Kisses
The Pumpkin will give you a hug, kiss and snuggle any time. She is very lovey and sweet, very physically affectionate. I don't think she's ever turned down a kiss or hug.
The Pookie is often affectionate, but sometime he is not. Sometimes, he is not willing to give you a kiss or a hug. Sometimes he pulls away and yells, even when it's a kiss goodbye or goodnight, which are normal parts of his routine.
But I am creative and sneaky! And I LOVE kisses and hugs from my kids! So over the years I've come up with sneaky ways to steal kisses without him screaming about it and wiping it away.
When he was two, he went through a phase when he didn't want to give me a kiss. So I started saying this to him, "If you give me a kiss, I will give it right back." And he did! He would kiss me, and then I'd kiss him right back! Not only did I get him to kiss me willingly, but I got TWO kisses! And it really did work every time!
Now that he is three, he is really into superheros and Star Wars and bad guys. He often wants to defeat the bad guy (or be the bad guy). So the other day, when I wanted a kiss and he was saying I was a bad guy, I told him he could only defeat me by kissing and hugging me.
And it worked! He ran up and started hugging and kissing me, and I leaned back and said, "I am defeated!" Also, the Pookie vanquishes Londo with kisses, and they've been doing that a while.
Yesterday, I took him with me to the grocery store. On the way there, he said he turned into a bad guy. I told him I wanted my good guy back. How could I get him back so the good Pookie could go into the store with me? He said I'd have to give him TWO kisses to turn him good. The minute I opened his door in the parking lot, I gave him four, just to be sure.
This morning, Londo told him to get me. He jumped in my lap and said he was going to defeat me! I told him he could only defeat me with kisses! So he kissed me and I kissed him, and we both leaned over and said, "Uhhh. I am defeated." We did this a few times in a row, with each defeat becoming more of a cuddle into each other.
I never thought I'd like playing bad guy/good guy so much. But this is fun for the whole family, cause within a few minutes, the Pumpkin and Londo joined in with the kisses!
The Pookie is often affectionate, but sometime he is not. Sometimes, he is not willing to give you a kiss or a hug. Sometimes he pulls away and yells, even when it's a kiss goodbye or goodnight, which are normal parts of his routine.
But I am creative and sneaky! And I LOVE kisses and hugs from my kids! So over the years I've come up with sneaky ways to steal kisses without him screaming about it and wiping it away.
When he was two, he went through a phase when he didn't want to give me a kiss. So I started saying this to him, "If you give me a kiss, I will give it right back." And he did! He would kiss me, and then I'd kiss him right back! Not only did I get him to kiss me willingly, but I got TWO kisses! And it really did work every time!
Now that he is three, he is really into superheros and Star Wars and bad guys. He often wants to defeat the bad guy (or be the bad guy). So the other day, when I wanted a kiss and he was saying I was a bad guy, I told him he could only defeat me by kissing and hugging me.
And it worked! He ran up and started hugging and kissing me, and I leaned back and said, "I am defeated!" Also, the Pookie vanquishes Londo with kisses, and they've been doing that a while.
Yesterday, I took him with me to the grocery store. On the way there, he said he turned into a bad guy. I told him I wanted my good guy back. How could I get him back so the good Pookie could go into the store with me? He said I'd have to give him TWO kisses to turn him good. The minute I opened his door in the parking lot, I gave him four, just to be sure.
This morning, Londo told him to get me. He jumped in my lap and said he was going to defeat me! I told him he could only defeat me with kisses! So he kissed me and I kissed him, and we both leaned over and said, "Uhhh. I am defeated." We did this a few times in a row, with each defeat becoming more of a cuddle into each other.
I never thought I'd like playing bad guy/good guy so much. But this is fun for the whole family, cause within a few minutes, the Pumpkin and Londo joined in with the kisses!
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Going to Sleep on Their Own!
I have news! HUGE news! (No, I'm not pregnant.)
Last night, both of my kids went to bed on their own, with their doors shut, without a parent even sitting in the hallway!!!!
Why yes, my daughter is now 5.5 years old and my son is over 3. And no, I do not want to hear about how someone else's kids have been doing that since they were infants. Mine have struggled with going to sleep and sleep in general.
Although I hesitate to talk or write about any good sleep/going to sleep situations in our house since doing so always seems to jinx it, I really wanted to include this one good night on my (mostly inactive) blog. Considering the YEARS we've struggled with bedtimes and nighttimes and all the posts I've written to keep my sanity about things related to sleep (or lack thereof), I figured if there was any reason to write a third post this year, LAST NIGHT was the reason!
With the Pumpkin, we have had to make a very slow transition to just get out of her room while she goes to sleep. I think the Pookie would have transitioned quicker to going to sleep on his own, but since we had to stay with his sister, he wanted the same. We have made small steps, slowly progressing from nursing them to sleep, to rocking them to sleep, to lying down with them and signing, sitting next to their beds, sitting in their doorways, to actually one person sitting in the hall while they both go to sleep in their beds!
That last one was HUGE for us! It also freed us up a bit, since one person could sit in the hall reading or playing on the iPhone/iPad while they both went to sleep. Londo has been able to take a gym class twice a week at night, and I've joined an adult chorus once a week and still go to book club once a month.
But lately in my opinion (opinions differ in our house on this), the Pookie has seemed to need more sleep. He wakes up early and won't go back to sleep, so I have insisted that we start putting him to bed earlier than his sister. (Let's skip the parental disagreements here...) But I wanted to make sure we could put him to bed earlier and still maintain that bit of indepence we have in the evenings when one of us can actually go out and do something while the other puts the kids to bed, without causing the bedtime parent to sit in the hall for hours. My solution was to get the Pookie to go to sleep on his own with his door closed.
Apparently, Londo and I were on the same page about how the Pookie could go to sleep. Three nights ago, while I was at chorus, Londo did the bedtime routine, gave the Pookie a kiss, told him he had to check on the Pumpkin, shut the Pookie's door, tucked in the Pumpkin, went back to check on the Pookie like 5 minutes later and the Pookie was asleep.
Not even knowing that, two nights ago while Londo was at his gym, I did the bedtime routine, kissed the Pookie and explained that his sister was still doing something that might be noisy so I needed to close his door for him to go to sleep. I told him that big boys go to sleep with their doors closed (he wants to be big and strong lately) and that he was so capable that I thought he could do it! He was pushing back a little, but then I went with offering a reward, which often works with him. I told him he could have a special treat if he tried it. He said, "Okay. I can try it."
And guess what? He did it!
I sat in the hall while his door was shut and while the Pumpkin had her door open as she practiced writing and reading. I made sure she saw me there the whole time, so she knew that I was there even if the door was shut. When it was time for her to go to bed, I asked her if she wanted her door shut, and she said, "No. I like it the way it is every night."
I said in a tentative, tired voice, "Okay." And she asked why I said okay like that. I was trying to come up with an explanation when she said something along the lines of me thinking she should have the door shut. I explained that some day, she would need to be able to go to sleep by herself with her door shut. She said she understood, but she did not offer to do it that night. She went to sleep in her room with the door open while I sat in the hall.
But the next day, when she heard about and saw the Pookie get his extra piece of Halloween candy for going to sleep by himself with his door shut, she wanted to try it! So last night, the Pookie went to bed by himself again! And then, Londo put the Pumpkin in her room, kissed her and closed the door.
Within minutes, she was back in our room. I thought, "there goes that!" BUT, she just came out to tell her dad that it wasn't as scary as she thought it would be! And Londo pointed out that we were right in the room next door, doing exactly what we had been doing when the Pookie went to bed by himself.
She went back to bed and went to sleep! On her own! With her door shut!
Plus we started a rule a few weeks ago that neither kid can come into our room and bed at night until we open the door. We stay up watching TV or spending time together with the door shut. When we go to bed, we open the door. The Pookie almost never comes to our room before we go to bed anyway, and the Pumpkin is getting better about it. In fact, a couple nights ago, when we reminded her that she needed to go back to her own room, she went back in and went to sleep by herself (after a potty break)!
So nighttimes are going better in the caramama household! I have hope! At least until the next regression, when all bets are out the window!
Last night, both of my kids went to bed on their own, with their doors shut, without a parent even sitting in the hallway!!!!
Why yes, my daughter is now 5.5 years old and my son is over 3. And no, I do not want to hear about how someone else's kids have been doing that since they were infants. Mine have struggled with going to sleep and sleep in general.
Although I hesitate to talk or write about any good sleep/going to sleep situations in our house since doing so always seems to jinx it, I really wanted to include this one good night on my (mostly inactive) blog. Considering the YEARS we've struggled with bedtimes and nighttimes and all the posts I've written to keep my sanity about things related to sleep (or lack thereof), I figured if there was any reason to write a third post this year, LAST NIGHT was the reason!
With the Pumpkin, we have had to make a very slow transition to just get out of her room while she goes to sleep. I think the Pookie would have transitioned quicker to going to sleep on his own, but since we had to stay with his sister, he wanted the same. We have made small steps, slowly progressing from nursing them to sleep, to rocking them to sleep, to lying down with them and signing, sitting next to their beds, sitting in their doorways, to actually one person sitting in the hall while they both go to sleep in their beds!
That last one was HUGE for us! It also freed us up a bit, since one person could sit in the hall reading or playing on the iPhone/iPad while they both went to sleep. Londo has been able to take a gym class twice a week at night, and I've joined an adult chorus once a week and still go to book club once a month.
But lately in my opinion (opinions differ in our house on this), the Pookie has seemed to need more sleep. He wakes up early and won't go back to sleep, so I have insisted that we start putting him to bed earlier than his sister. (Let's skip the parental disagreements here...) But I wanted to make sure we could put him to bed earlier and still maintain that bit of indepence we have in the evenings when one of us can actually go out and do something while the other puts the kids to bed, without causing the bedtime parent to sit in the hall for hours. My solution was to get the Pookie to go to sleep on his own with his door closed.
Apparently, Londo and I were on the same page about how the Pookie could go to sleep. Three nights ago, while I was at chorus, Londo did the bedtime routine, gave the Pookie a kiss, told him he had to check on the Pumpkin, shut the Pookie's door, tucked in the Pumpkin, went back to check on the Pookie like 5 minutes later and the Pookie was asleep.
Not even knowing that, two nights ago while Londo was at his gym, I did the bedtime routine, kissed the Pookie and explained that his sister was still doing something that might be noisy so I needed to close his door for him to go to sleep. I told him that big boys go to sleep with their doors closed (he wants to be big and strong lately) and that he was so capable that I thought he could do it! He was pushing back a little, but then I went with offering a reward, which often works with him. I told him he could have a special treat if he tried it. He said, "Okay. I can try it."
And guess what? He did it!
I sat in the hall while his door was shut and while the Pumpkin had her door open as she practiced writing and reading. I made sure she saw me there the whole time, so she knew that I was there even if the door was shut. When it was time for her to go to bed, I asked her if she wanted her door shut, and she said, "No. I like it the way it is every night."
I said in a tentative, tired voice, "Okay." And she asked why I said okay like that. I was trying to come up with an explanation when she said something along the lines of me thinking she should have the door shut. I explained that some day, she would need to be able to go to sleep by herself with her door shut. She said she understood, but she did not offer to do it that night. She went to sleep in her room with the door open while I sat in the hall.
But the next day, when she heard about and saw the Pookie get his extra piece of Halloween candy for going to sleep by himself with his door shut, she wanted to try it! So last night, the Pookie went to bed by himself again! And then, Londo put the Pumpkin in her room, kissed her and closed the door.
Within minutes, she was back in our room. I thought, "there goes that!" BUT, she just came out to tell her dad that it wasn't as scary as she thought it would be! And Londo pointed out that we were right in the room next door, doing exactly what we had been doing when the Pookie went to bed by himself.
She went back to bed and went to sleep! On her own! With her door shut!
Plus we started a rule a few weeks ago that neither kid can come into our room and bed at night until we open the door. We stay up watching TV or spending time together with the door shut. When we go to bed, we open the door. The Pookie almost never comes to our room before we go to bed anyway, and the Pumpkin is getting better about it. In fact, a couple nights ago, when we reminded her that she needed to go back to her own room, she went back in and went to sleep by herself (after a potty break)!
So nighttimes are going better in the caramama household! I have hope! At least until the next regression, when all bets are out the window!
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