Since I've started this blog, I've had quite a few visitors find me through a search for something like "baby fidgets in sleep" or "baby fidgets in bed" or simply "baby fidgets." This leads me to believe that there are others out there with fidgety babies who drive them crazy enough to search on the internet for some information about fidgeting babies. So I thought I'd do a whole post to discuss the fidgety nature of my child and how I deal with it.
Do you want to know when my child first started fidgeting? IN UTERO!! I'm not kidding. When I was pregnant, this baby moved a lot. She was very often kicking and pushing and hiccuping. OMG, the hiccups! I thought they would drive me nuts. Every. Single. Day. For. Months. Straight. Often more than once a day. I am not exaggerating--you can ask Londo or the many people I worked with, all of whom had to hear about it. I just thought it was part of being pregnant, and it probably is, but I've also realized that it is just my child's nature.
I may have mentioned before that the Pumpkin is a fussy baby, and she always has been. I think that part of her fussiness is her need for constant motion and activity. As a newborn, she needed to be held and walked/rocked/bounced constantly. When we weren't moving her, she was moving herself. She constantly kicked her feet and flailed her arms. Since she was a few weeks old, I have joked that she has restless legs syndrome, except it's her whole body. Restless Body Syndrome. I suspect she is not the only baby with this disorder.
How did we deal with this and get any sleep at all? Two things: the Miracle Blanket and the swing. Swaddling the baby worked amazingly well for us. Even when she was awake, a lot of times it would just calm her down. She would start calming down when we started the swaddling process. And we used the swing at night (all night long) from week 3 to 2 months. I would have kept using it, but she was getting heavy and it was starting to creak a bit. hehe.
We kept swaddling her at night when we moved her to the co-sleeper next to the bed, even though she started to kick her feet out. Then she started wiggling her arms out. Darn that fidgeting! She would wake herself up because she'd come almost completely out of the once mummy-tight swaddle. So we tried to not swaddle her, and it was a mess. We went back to swaddling.
Since she was such an active child, she started rolling over early. She started crawling early, she started standing, and cruising, and even walking early. The great thing about the early development of gross motor skills was that she was able to be active and fidgety on her own, without us having to constantly move her. But the huge issue with this early development is that she started rolling over in her sleep at 3.5 months. While swaddled. With her arms pinned to her sides.
So I freaked out, and we stopped swaddling her. This was right at the 4-month sleep regression time period. And there went our sleep. For months and months. Was it the figeting that kept waking her up? The teething? Gas? The sleep regression/developmental spurt? I don't know what it was, but to this day, I miss the swaddle.
Around 6 months, we moved her into her nursery. We figured if she was not sleeping in our bedroom, she might as well not sleep in her nursery so we wouldn't have to tip-toe around our room anymore. But I'd go in and cosleep with her in there for the morning hours. And she'd fidget.
I have before refered to "The Fidget Hour" which is the hour (or more) it would take the Pumpkin to settle down. I would bring her into the twin bed with me, nurse her lying down, and we'd start drifting off to sleep. Often, it would be beautiful and easy. But there were many many times that were not so easy. Especially when she was super fidgety. She would grab my shirt, grab my hands, twirl her hair in her fingers, and on and on. She would kick me, push her feet into me, and constantly move her legs. All while her eyes are closed and looking like she should be asleep.
On the worst mornings, she'd stop nursing and keep fidgeting, sometimes waking herself up or keeping herself awake. I learned to let her roll over onto her stomach and cuddle around her to keep her arms and legs from moving. Sometimes this would work, other times it would just piss her off.
Finally, she seems to be learning to stay asleep or put herself back to sleep through the fidgeting. I imagine it's just one of those things. She still fidgets, not only in her sleep but also while nursing or in her highchair or in her carseat--Who am I kidding? She fidgets EVERYWHERE. But so does her daddy, so at least she comes by it honestly.
To all those out there struggling with fidgety babies, good luck. I have no good answers for how to help others, only things that we tried that worked sometimes.
I hope it gets easier for us all as they get older.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
15 comments:
we used the miracle blanket briefly but by the time we tried it boog was already too long for it so we ended up just wrapping his arms in it. We ditched the swaddle all together shortly after that at 4.5 months. It was painful.
I was thinking about the swaddle the other day and thinking if we have another child I almost hope they don't need it. It was great but eventually it was one more crutch we had to break.
We had a fisher price swing but we had the papsan version. I loved it because you could put them in it while swaddled, many a colicky night was spent swaddled in that swing.
Swaddling and the swing saved my life when my son was little. We used to swaddle him so tightly and then joke about whether we should duct tape it when we were finished (we didn't)
Thanks for stopping by my blog - I'm really enjoying yours!
My Pumpkin was a hiccuper, too. We have some really funny video of her hiccuping as a newborn. She totally fidgets in her high chair, too. I guess that's another bad habit she gets from me....
Monkey was a hiccup king! Everyday in the third trimester.
He also fidgets quite a bit while feeding (not just breast feeding either, while in the high chair, too!). I just didn't realize I should be calling it fidgeting. The number one thing he does is pull my hair, then the grabbing of the nose, mouth, etc. All of which I thought was cute at first and somewhat encouraged but now, he's little rough about it!
So far it hasn't been in the way of feeding very much so other than losing a few strands of hair, I'm not too worried about it yet. However, it's good to know he's in good company!
I never called it fidgeting I called it flailing! My son FLAILS during sleep. His arm moves repetitively up down up down like he is conducting. He kickes,or my favorite is when he tries to 'mountain climb' me all night long. He also does this while nursing and sometimes keeps himself awake. Some times I try laying my legs over his legs so I can still either hold his hand or put my hand on his head (this seems to really help calm him down). But sometimes he gets mad because now he is trapped! lol he keeps himself up with the flailing but hates to feel trapped! Crazy kids... but I was feeling like the only person who's kid moves SO much in his sleep :)
I have a 3-1/2mo old daughter and she too flails . . .actually she thrashes her arms violently while she sleeps; this started about 1-1/2mo ago. We too have swaddled her to calm her, but now she works hard to get out of the swaddle. I have read your comments but I'm not sure if your infant's "fidgets" are as severe as ours. It is as if our child is shadow boxing, she also rubs her nose and eyes vigorously as if they itched, kicks her legs up, moves her head from side to side as if she were saying NO, pulls at her ear. We have had to put mittens on her so that she doesn't scratch her face. She sleeps in a bassinet/playard next to our bed, but it's gotten to the point where I have to bring her in bed with us so that we can restrain her and keep her from hurting herself. Initially she would be ok w/us holding her down but has more recently become upset when we hold her arms down. We are so concerned and desprate for answers!! Has anyone found any medical condition related to this behavior?
Anonymous - I did a post in reply to your comment, which you can find here. I hope that it helps, but the gist is that my doctor said there was no real medical condition or treatment. It will just take time for the baby's system to develop, and some people (babies include) just fidget more. Good luck. I really understand how frustrating it is and how desperate for answers you are! I really truly have been there! I'm sorry that their is likely no better answer that "it's just a phase, and it will eventually get better."
I have a 7 week old son who also thrashes his arms and kicks his legs violently during his night sleeps. It has become an every night occurence during the last few weeks! we call it Kung foo time! He too rubs his eyes and bags his dummy out as he does, with his eyes closed as if hes asleep!! I'm not sure if he gets any sleep or not as last few days he's been very sleepy and overtired. I'm trying to keep to hos routine but finding it difficult as he's overtired now and oversleeps during nap time.I thought perhaps it was due to wind but am not so sure now. I have slpoken to the Doc and Midwives and they have never heard of this before!!! I too hope to find some remedy soon.
CLR
*oh dear* My 18-mo old daughter is STILL doing this. Her doc has never heard of such a thing so out of desperation I googled and just so relieved to find this discussion. At least she's not the only one! So many comments ring true for me: girly was VERY kicky and active all through pregnancy; took well to swaddling in the first couple months until she got strong enough to work out of the bundle; picking her up and rocking her almost instantly calms her down and she MAY rest for another hour or so in her crib; I've tried holding her still during the 'espisodes' but she resists and kicks/wrestles harder all quietly with her eyes closed like she's still asleep; if left completely untouched the flailing WILL eventually totally wake her up -- compeletly pissed off and standing up in her crib screaming uncontrollably. Then I have to pick her up, cuddle with her in bed, she quickly falls asleep again and the gyrations continue for 2+ hours or so. We've even resorted to putting a daybed in her room because I spend so many nights helping her through the fidgety period, trying to both get some sleep.
During these MANY months I have noticed pattern -- girly slumbers deeply and almost motionless for the first 4-5 hours at night; then 2+hrs of cage fighting; then back to deep sleep for the final hours. I wonder if it has something to do with coming in and out of the REM sleep cycles?? Truly, I have never had luck letting her work through the episodes herself(cry-it-out, pat-pat-pat, or any hands-off sleep method). Without intervention the figdeting WILL wake her up and she cannot settle back down on her own enough to fall back to sleep (I've watched her really try, but no go). Curiously, this only occurs at night. Girly's mid-day nap is usually short 1-1/2 to 2 hours, but restful with no figeting.
Oh how I wish there was a solution!!
A question to Anonyomous - Our 3mo daughter has exactly the same symptoms (arms, legs, ears, head - everything) since she was 1 month old... did you notice any change or improvement in time? We are also co-sleeping in order to make sure that she gets any sleep (by restraining her arms). Or found any responses. Please contact me on laurapetra@gmail.com if you have any answers (or just for reassurance that we are not alone:).
You have all described my son perfectly. He was always active while I was pregnant, and the hiccups were non-stop. He has fidgeted since birth, and it's only progressed since then. I have never in my life seen such a fidgety baby. He rolls around all night and we co-sleep. I would think he was trying out for every sport in the Olympics because of all the moving. And trying to put him to sleep is a challenge every day. PS - he is 5 months old. He flails his arms and legs all the time and won't keep still, not during feedings, not during napping, never...
I guess it's just something about a spirited child. I always called him a twitchy sleeper - like his startle reflex was set to high. And it still is. We swaddled and used a running hairdryer for white noise. Nothing else was loud enough for him. And still he is the most tossy-turny, fidgety, twitchy sleeper. Those little jumps people do when they are falling asleep? He does them all the time. He's two and it takes him an hour to unwind and finally fall asleep at night - doesn't matter what time bed time starts. I really thought something was wrong with him for the longest time but I've never found anything other than other blogging parents who describe the same behaviors. My RL friends and family just think I'm nuts when I try and describe it.
My son is now 6 1/2 months old and his kicking and flailing seem to be getting worse! The last few nights we have had to stand by his cot and hold his arms and legs down - not good for my back! I am hoping its gotten worse due to overtiredness - his naps are pathetic! 20 mins 3 or 4 times a day if we are lucky and the last two days he has only had two 20 min ones - which is possibly why his nights have been more disturbed - heres hoping! I am very glad that there are others though - I was googling in a panic thinking there was something wrong with him! I feel much better now. If anyone does find out a miracle cure - please let us know!
It is rather interesting for me to read the blog. Thank you for it. I like such topics and anything connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more soon.
I have 3 month old twins, boy and girl. I thought the baby B (girl) was always moving in utero but she is super calm baby, in the other hand OMG my son baby A (the boy) is constantly fidgeting. I don't know what to do? He is constantly fidgeting with arms and legs, oh and his head, I call it bubble head.
I am becoming more concern and my pediatrician says that it could be the reflux (he has really bad reflux problems). I dont believe this is due to reflux. FEEDING- I stopped breastfedding :( and now he drinks 6 ounces and once he is done with 4 he starts the fidgeting process. Anyone go throught this? so he fidgets constantly all day and when he eats. To sleep at night we don't know what to do anymore, he kicks out of the swaddle wich was the only way he would sleep before, but now we have to hold him most of the night because he startles constantly and wakes himself up. I am going to put a video in youtube so that you can see what I am talking about. HELP, there's got to be answers, more research needs to be done. Are these babies going to suffer from hyperactivity disorders? hope not.
Post a Comment