Fidgety Baby Growing Up

My daughter was a very fidgety baby. More fidgety than any other baby I knew through all my years of babysitting, being an aunt and having friends and family with babies. So fidgety that I wondered if something was wrong, if there was an underlying reason for her fidgetiness.

There really wasn’t anything wrong. As far as I can tell, she simply has a LOT of energy in her body. Her father is the same way. Londo is full of energy and has always been a fidgeter. And me? I can’t sit in one position for a long period of time. I don’t really fidget so much as I shift positions periodically, and I don’t think I ever simply sit normal, facing forward with both feet on the ground when I’m in a chair. In fact, sitting normal sounds like torture to me.

But three years ago, when the Pumpkin was a few months old and through her babyhood, I didn’t know why she was fidgeting so much. When I would nurse her, when we’d be rocking her to sleep, when we would try to hold her calmly, when we’d be lying in bed with her to get her to sleep, she would flail her arms and legs, move her hands and fingers relentlessly, twist and twirl my hair, move constantly, constantly. Sometimes the movements were more flailing than fidgeting. Sometimes it was little but intense movements like twisting her fingers in my hair.

I wondered why and if it was normal. I googled, but found no real information that helped me, and no one else wrote about their baby fidgeting at the time. I asked the doctor, and pretty much came to the conclusion that some babies just fidget. The way that some kids, teenagers, adults, people just fidget.

Yet over the years, I’ve wondered. I’ve wondered about other people with fidgety babies, because thanks to the many, many hits to my site from search engines on the internet, I know that there have been a lot of other people searching about fidgety babies, just as I once did. And I think of all those other people and their fidgety babies, and I wonder if those babies are/were like my girl in other ways. I wonder if those kids continued fidgeting through toddlerhood, like my girl did. Did those kids have so so SO much trouble calming their bodies down to go to sleep or even just sit still, like my girl did/does? I wonder if those kids were later on the curve for developing self-soothing skills. I wonder if those kids were earlier on the curve for developing motor skills, gross and fine. I wonder if those other kids are as energetic and highly active as my pre-schooler.

There are some comments on my posts about my fidgety baby in which people have said that perhaps my child didn’t fidget they way theirs did, that it didn’t sound as severe or as constant or, I don’t know, as MUCH as their did. I believe she probably did, although I haven't seen these other peoples kids so I can't compare for sure. I totally understand the sentiment, the questioning. Like it says the Raising Your Spirited Child book that I often mention: sure most kids are energetic or all 2 or 3 year olds are stubborn persistent, but spirited kids are just MORE. And that’s what it is like with the fidgeting.

My boy, who is now 14 months old, also fidgets some. An average amount. An expected amount, I would even say. I might have once thought, “Gee, this baby sure can be fidgety.” But I would have just been slightly irritated during the worst of the fidgets, and moved on in my thinking. After having a truly Fidgety Baby, I know that his fidgeting is nothing. All babies fidget. But some fidget more. And some babies fidget WAY MORE!

So I wonder about those other kids, those other fidgety babies. Did they learn to crawl early, walk early, climb early? At age 18 months, did their parents move them into a big kid bed to try and make the bedtimes and nights easier? As 1 year olds, did they spent hours in and out of their beds, walking circles around their parents, as their parents fell asleep in their beds, as they kept walking, walking, climbing, climbing? At age 2, did their physical skills match those a year older than them, except the skills needed to sit still for any length of time? As a 2 year old, did they simply stop napping and have trouble even resting at nap time? At age 3, did they need excuses to get out of their chairs at meal times because they simply could not sit still for the whole meal? Are those children also spirited or simply high-energy kids?

Because my fidgety baby did all those things. My little, fidgety girl has great physical skills, and more energy than I thought possible in a human! My girl keeps moving and figuring out how to do things with her body that many kids a year or even two years older than her cannot do. At 4 or 5 months, she was crawling. At 10 or 11 months, she was walking. At 1 year, she was throwing and catching balls relatively accurately. At 18 months, she was sleeping (when we’d finally get her to sleep) in a big girl bed and coming into our room by herself when she’d wake up in the middle of the night, turning the knobs to the doors with ease and climbing into our bed with no problems. At 2 years, she was running and dribbling a soccer ball while she ran. At 3 years, she is already hitting balls off the t-ball set.

I think that all that fidgety energy drives her to do things with her body. She needs to channel that energy and activeness, and it’s up to us as her parents to find ways for her to do that. It’s also up to us to help her learn to calm her body down and to listen, through all the impulses, to the signals that her body is giving her. It’s not easy, for her or us. But the skills we help her learn to handle all her energy and impulses and plain fidgetiness will be so important for her to channel that drive into accomplishments as an older kid, a teen and an adult.

I don’t know if my daughter is a typical example of a child who was a Fidgety Baby. I don’t have any clue how other Fidgety Babies have developed. I wish I did, because I love to learn about development patterns in general, and I love to hear about other kids who might be similar in certain ways to my girl. But what I do know is how my daughter as developed and how amazing she is in so many ways.

My daughter went from being a Fidgety Baby to being a Highly-Active Toddler to being a High-Energy Pre-Schooler. And from here, we’ll see what kind of school kid, pre-teen, teenager and adult she will be. I have a feeling it will continue to be really fun to watch her grow!

Middle of the Night Visitor

You know how the Pumpkin is not a good sleeper and needs us in the middle of the night? You know how we moved her to a twin bed? You know how she is very capable in the physical department? Well combine all that, and you get our newest sleep development.

The Pumpkin is now getting up out of her bed, opening her bedroom door, walking down the hall (we are VERY careful to make sure the gates at the stairs are closed these days), walking into our room, climbing up the stairs to our bed (they are stairs for the dog, who has a bad back and we have a very high bed), and into our bed with us.

I personally prefer this, because then (ideally) we don't have to get out of bed. Some nights, she climbs in, goes right back to sleep and sleeps most of the night! Last night she climbed in around 12:30 and slept until almost 7:00!

Of course, most nights she is fidgeting, kicking, flailing and constantly moving, as is her way. The trouble with her in our bed is that when she is moving and kicking, she is keeping both of us awake. So that part sucks. And sometimes one of us just ends up taking her into her bed and sleeping with her there.

Also, Londo isn't sure he prefers her just coming into our room, because it startles him. He said that he wakes up thinking that the toddler isn't where he left her/she is supposed to be, and it freaks him out! Plus the stairs she climbs to get in bed is on his side of the bed, so seeing her head pop up or suddenly feeling her on him is a surprise. I almost always wake up when I hear her shut her bedroom door behind her or our door behind her (she likes to shut doors). So lately, I've been waking Londo up when I hear her come into our room to give him a heads up, which seems to help.

I know eventually we will have to lead her back into her room, where she will hopefully go back to sleep by herself. But right now, with it being winter and me pregnant and her going through a tough phase, this is just easier.

So the easy way wins out again. The toddler may visit us in the middle of the night as needed for the next few months.

Is it any wonder why I'm always so exhausted?

Some Babies Just Fidget

I have mentioned before that we had a very fidgety baby. It's been a while sinced I talked about it. Although she is still pretty fidgety, at her currently toddler stage it seems more normal and has in many ways translated into bigger, general movements, like climbing.

But I still get a ton of search hits that have to do with baby fidgeting or flailing while sleeping or nursing. Some people stay around and read a bit, and I hope they get what they need from the posts I wrote specifically about this topic hoping that others realize they are not alone. Most people don't stay at all, and I figure they are probably looking for medical reasons why babies fidget (like I would).

Then I got this comment, which does indeed show that people are looking for medical reason. Anonymous said that she wasn't sure if the Pumpkin's fidgets were as severe are her 3.5 month old. Well anonymous, I can't be positive since I haven't seen your child, but at some points they were as bad as you describe. There was a range from little fidgets to oh-my-goodness-what-is-wrong-with-my-baby fidgets. Some were very violent both while sleeping and while nursing, and Londo and I were so worried at times that we would call up the doctor and talk to her about it.

I also searched online and in books for medical reasons why a baby might fidget and talked those reasons over with the doctor.

I found that when a baby has trouble settling to sleep and arches her/his back violently while nursing, these can be signs of GERD, or severe acid reflux. This is usually accompanied by other symptoms, and if someone suspects this I suggest they not only look up GERD online but talk to their doctor about the likelihood that this is the issue. I also suggest you think about silent reflux, as that might be the cause. Our doctor did not believe that the Pumpkin had this issue, since none of the other symptoms were there.

The other major cause of this fidgety/squirmy/flailing in babies (especially when asleep) is gas. Some babies are just more gassy than others. Even if you don't hear all that gas come out, the gas bubbles could be working their way through the baby's system. As my doctor said, babies are not born with their systems fully formed. Right around 3-4 months is when the digestive system is really working out the worst of the kinks. Our doctor believed that this is what was happening with the Pumpkin.

The treatment? Time.

Isn't that the worst answer? And yet, I can attest that over the last 16 months of the Pumpkin's life, it has really gotten a lot better. She does go through gassy periods, and she goes through sleep regressions, but she's healthy and happy. Since she's been able to move more and more on her own, she's (and we've) able to deal with her fidgeting better.

Another "medical" condition that we think might affect the Pumpkin's fidgetiness (I made that up! Like it?) is teething. Our little one seems to fidget A LOT as her teeth are moving their way through the gums. I imagine she is in discomfort and trying to either find a comfortable place to be or distract herself. Her teething is always worse at night, and she did get her first tooth around 4 months.

And my last reason for why babies fidget...

Some babies just fidget. I'm sorry if that's not the answer you are looking for, but it's the truth. Just like some people are fidgeters (my husband is an example) and others are not (I'm not). Babies are just little people. But they can't control their bodies as well, so this is likely why their fidgeting takes on the epic, flailing proportions that it does.

The swaddled helped us. The swing helped us. Constant moving on our parts helped assauge her need to move and fidget until she could do more on her own. This meant lots of walking and rocking and jiggling and whatever else would work. It was NOT easy to go through, but there is not much you can do about it. I kept hoping that the doctor would say "Oh, sure! Your baby has X, and you can treat it with Y and everything will be fine." No such luck.

I do believe that this aspect of my daughter's personality translated into her early gross motor skills and possibly her fine motor skills. Her need to move constantly propelled her into early crawling and early walking and now her constant climbing. This is a really neat aspect of her, one that has been fun to watch develop.

But she does still fidget. I wouldn't dream of cutting my hair at this point, because she uses my hair as her main fidget while nursing or trying to fall alseep. I can put up with that, if it helps her calm down. I've tried to switch her to a toy or blanket--it's not the same. But that's okay, because it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. She still has trouble getting comfy, which includes fidgeting, flailing and even violently pushing and kicking. We are nowhere close to being able to put her down "drowsy but awake." But I've been assured that she will eventually be able to go to sleep on her own. Like when she goes to college. I hope.

Sleeping Woes Make Me Cranky

Happy Earth Day!

Can I just say that I love the men who comment on my blog? Did you see what they wrote on the QotW about confidence? I can confidently speak for all women everywhere that we love you guys. Can you teach classes or write a How To book or something? Better yet, let's all agree to advertise their blogs and send links to all the men we know! Check out My Goofy Daddy and I'm Not Skippy and be jealous of their wives! I would be jealous, but Londo is right up there with them... I mean even above them!! I'll link to Londo's blog, but he doesn't ever update it.

Here's something else I'm confident about: If the Pumpkin doesn't start sleeping through until morning again pretty soon, I will LOSE MY MIND!!!

Remember when I wrote about how the Pumpkin sleep trained herself and I said I knew it wouldn't last? Of course it didn't. Between the teething of molars, the sickness, a developmental spurt and the fact that the stars are in retrograde, we have been in another sleep regression.

Let me tell you a little story about what happened in the early hours of this morning, and you all tell me if this sounds familiar...

The Pumpkin woke up crying a little after 4:00 AM. I got up, went in her nursery, picked her up and walked around with her. That wasn't doing it for her, so I sat down and rocked a little, but HECK NO, that wasn't what she wanted. So I just nursed her. That settled her down... way down... but not quite to sleep. So we switched sides and kept nursing. And then I tried just rocking (because damn I was sore), and then more nursing. You get the picture.

Finally, after over an hour, she had fallen asleep. She was well and good asleep. I debate whether or not to keep rocking her and maybe doze off a bit in the glider/recliner. But I was uncomfortable and it was after 5:00 and I wanted to get back in my bed for just one more hour of sleep.

So I very carefully got up. I tip-toed over to the crib. I ever so gently lowered her (against my body) down onto the mattress. And then...

You know what happened, don't you? Oh yes, I'm sure you do.

That little girl's head popped right up and she started wailing and reaching for me. I was so frustrated, I just wanted to scream! But she was already screaming, so good would it do for me to add to that. It would only wake Londo, who had taken the brunt of the night-wakings the past 3 or 4 nights (maybe longer).

I picked her back up and we got into the twin bed in her nursery. She proceeded to fuss and fidget (goodness, the fidgeting!!!!) and even scream right in my ear for another 10 minutes, trying to get comfortable, until she finally found a good spot and passed out.

So I'm totally cranky today, even after my coffee. She was in a fine mood once we got up. She was in fact very adorable and pretty funny, but also into to everything which I'm not great at dealing with when I'm so tired and cranky. But we made it out the door, and I'll just go to bed by 9:00 again tonight.

The bright side (I'm always trying to find that darned bright side) is that we know what it is like when she's sleeping through the night. And we know she'll do it again once she's through whatever it is she's going through. We've seen the light, and we'll get back there soon. Hopefully, it will be soon enough for me to keep any shred of my sanity!

The Pumpkin's First Annual Assessment

As the final post in the week-long celebration of the Pumpkin's birthday, I am blatantly stealing an idea from Burgh Baby's Mom, although I won't be using pictures like she did since I don't put pictures on my blog. Thank you, BBM, for the fantastic idea. Now, let's see how the Pumpkin did.

Disclaimer: This assessment was done by caramama as the reviewer, who assess the Pumpkin against the average development milestones for the first year. Londo does not agree with all of the ratings, as he would apparently give her "Exceeds Expectations" in all areas except Self-Soothing Skills and Sleeping Abilities.

Competency: Gross Motor Skills
Rating: Exceeds Expectations
Assessment: The Pumpkin excelled in this area above all others. Much too her grandmothers' excitement (and her mother's bewilderment), she held her head up in a controlled manner on the day of her birth before carefully laying it back down. She sat up early, crawled early, pulled to standing early and started walking at 10 months, which she had mostly mastered by 11 months, and gave her parents lots of exercise while she practiced these skills.
Development Action: The Pumpkin should continue to work on walking and progress to running in a stable manner. While the Pumpkin has mastered climbing up stairs, climbing down stairs is an area that needs improvement and should be done by backing down the stairs not blindly trying to take a forward step down and starting to fall over. To continue her growth in this area, the Pumpkin should continue to practice everywhere during every second of the day, and she should take classes at The Little Gym with her mama once a week.

Competency: Fine Motor Skills
Rating: Meets Expectations
Assessment: The Pumpkin has progressed as expected in her fine motor skills. She is able to grab and manipulate toys and food, and she practices these abilities nonstop. She has developed her pincher grasp, which she uses on toys, food and skin. Within the last month, she has finally learn to put toys in things, not just pull and dump things out of things.
Development Action: In order to master this to her parent satisfaction, the Pumpkin should learn to only pinch and squeeze her toys and inanimated objects and cease using this skill to injure her parents.

Competency: Communication Skills
Rating: Meets Expectations
Assessment: During this year, the Pumpkin's babbling has progressed to words, including dada, daddy, mama, ca (cat), bur (bird), gah gahr (good girl), hi, hiyo (hello), bah (bye and ball). The Pumpkin has also demonstrated some signs (dog, all done, more, bye) at times throughout the year, but does not use them consistently. The Pumpkin's best examples of this skill are her animal noises for lions, elephants, ducks, sheep, frogs and some others. She also excels in communicating displeaser through crying and joy through laughing.
Development Action: For the upcoming year, the Pumpkin should progress to using her words and signs more consistently, adding more words and signs to her vocabulary, and putting words together to form phrases. Also, better dictation and pronunciation truly show initiative and demonstrate a strong work ethic in this area. If she struly wants to excel in this area for next year's assessment, she will also learn to say "Mama, I love you" (saying that even one time to Mama will result in the highest rating possible).

Competency: Feeding Skills
Rating: Exceeds Expectations
Assessment: The Pumpkin latched on to her mama right away shortly after birth and has been an excellent nurser. Once solids were introduced, the Pumpkin took to them pretty quickly and has consistently demonstrated her aptitude and enjoyment for eating different types of foods. She is also able to communicate which foods she likes and dislikes, and she is always willing to try new things.
Development Action: The Pumpkin should learn to manipulate utensils correctly and to drink from an open topped cup without help. She should also continue trying new foods.

Competency: Self-Soothing Skills
Rating: Does Not Meet Expectations
Assessment: This skill has proven to be perhaps the most difficult skill for the Pumpkin, and is closely related to her Sleeping Abilities (see below). Since being pulled from the womb, she has been slow to let go of that environment. The Pumpkin has constantly needed both movement and to be held, especially in the early months. When she wakes up, she needs to be rocked or nursed back to sleep or she gets more and more worked up, which keeps everyone except the dog from sleeping. Also, she rejected almost all substitutes for mama and daddy to assist with soothing her, including the pacifier, thumb/fingers, lovey, and anything at all that mama and daddy could think of that might possibly work. She has only recently been able to calm herself down at all, and if she does not wake up fully, she is now able to fuss a little and get back to sleep.
Development Action: The Pumpkin's mama and daddy would like to see her be able to put herself back to sleep and even maybe possibly calm herself so she can get herself to sleep without being rocked or nursed. Mama and Daddy do not mind needing to pick her up when she hurts herself or is upset, but they would like her to not get so worked up simply because she doesn't get what she wants.

Competency: Sleeping Abilities
Rating: Partially Meets Expectations
Assessment: Through most of the year, the Pumpkin has not done well in the area of sleeping. She had trouble napping unless she was held for the first few months of her life, and she never got really good at taking naps overall. Although the Pumpkin did sleep through the night from 3 weeks old to 3.5 months old, this was due to being swaddled and (until 2 months old) being in a swing. Since she had trouble with her Self-Soothing Skills (see above) and has always been especially fidgety, she has been unable to get herself to sleep and was unable to stay asleep once she was too big for the swing and out of her swaddle. Between 3.5 months and 7.5 month, the Pumpkin's sleep (and her parents' sleep) became constantly disrupted. At the end of her first year, the Pumpkin showed incredible improvement, sleeping through the night almost consistently for a month, which gives her parents false* hope that she will continue to improve in this area.
Development Action: The Pumpkin should not only resume* continue to sleep through the night, but she should start waking even later, aiming for 7:00 or 7:30. In addition, the Pumpkin should work on falling asleep unassisted. Finally, she should transition from her two shorter naps to one longer nap at some point during the next year.

Competency: Displaying Emotions
Rating: Exceeds Expectations
Assessment: The Pumpkin is very expressive, ensuring there is no confusion as to how she is feeling and what she wants. When she is happy and having fun, she is quick to smile and laugh. When she is curious, she looks inquisitive while she investigates. When she is unhappy, she has the most amazing pout. When she is upset, her entire face and body crumble and the sobs rock the house.
Development Action: The Pumpkin should continue to express her emotions as she sees fit. Her parents would ideally like more verbal communication (see Communication Skills above) when something is wrong, and they hope to be able to reason with her some day to avoid some of the pouting and crying. But at this time, there are no action items.

Competency: Playing Skills
Rating: Meets Expectations
Assessment: The Pumpkin has developed her Playing Skills well during the year. She was able to reach and grab toys pretty early, which made for her first games. Prior to that, she did not play much. As she has gotten older, she has enjoyed games of chase, peekaboo, wrestling and climbing on and in stuff. She also enjoys playing with toys that make noise and light up. She has started to play with stuffed animals. Her favorite games for the past couple of months involve pulling stuff out of the kitchen cabinets.
Development Action: The Pumpkin should continue to enjoy playing interactive games and games with toys. Her parents would appreciate some quieter and less active games, but this is not required. The Pumpkin should begin playing a little more on her own so that her parents could do other things, like cook dinner or put away the dishes while she is around but not interferring. They do not think this is asking too much for the next year.

Competency: Cuddling Skills
Rating: Exceeds Expectations
Assessment: The Pumpkin has learned to give kisses and to give hugs. Although she longer likes to give kisses that much, she often gives hugs when she hasn't been asked. She is also extremely snuggly, especially after waking up. She is sweet to hold, when she is not squirming.
Development Action: In the next year, the Pumpkin should continue to give hugs, kisses and cuddles. In addition, she should learn to use loving phrases to go along with the cuddles (see Communication Skills above). This is an important and possibly life-saving skill that she should cultivate and use to her advantage. Her parents won't mind at all.


Overall Rating: Exceeds Expectations
Overall Assessment: Everything the Pumpkin does is just perfect. Her parents are proud of who she is and what she can do. In some areas, she seems to be ahead of the curve, and in others she is developing right on target. If she is not ahead or on target in a skill compared to other 1 year olds, than she is still just right for her. As a bonus, she is incredibly beautiful. All in all, the Pumpkin is the ideal child for her parents, and their expectations have gone out the window.

*The Pumpkin is apparently going through the 12 month sleep regression, so she is no longer sleeping through the night. But this didn't start until her birthday, so should not be included in her assessment--yet I can't not mention it. Sigh.

Cara Mama - Going to Sleep

Cara Mama,

Thanks for letting me play with your hair while I nurse and while I try to go to sleep. And thanks for singing to me to settle me down at night. I've just been so fidgety, but the singing and playing with your hair is really helping me settle down and actually fall asleep. I love you Mama, even if I don't yet say mama. Or I love you, for that matter.

Oh, and quit trying to make me give you kisses! I'm totally done with that game!

Ti amo,
Pumpkin

Searches, Sleep, Solo and Self

Some random thoughts for today, cause I'm feeling random. And having thoughts.

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Normally, I do my Cara Figlia posts on Friday's, but I think I'm going to change that and do them on Saturdays and the Cara Mama letters on Sundays. It just makes more sense to me.

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I got more search hits yesterday than I have any other day of my blogging life. I know you are dying to know what the search terms were that brought people to my blog, especially because of yesterday's topic...
-"baby fidgeting night"
-"baby kicks fidgets while sleeping"
-"fidgeting while breastfeeding"
-"push me mama love"
-"things mothers say"
-"toddler hates having nose wiped"

I told you all I get a bunch of searches about the baby fidgets! The hits came from Canada, Bulgaria and the UK, and it looks like no one stayed to read. So I guess my two posts about my fidgety baby did not help them. I do not quite get the search for "push me mama love," but whatever.

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Just when I start getting used to the Pumpkin not waking up until 6:00 or later, she gets up earlier. Our week went like this: Sunday up at 7:00 (That's right! 7!!!), Monday up at 6:30, Tuesday up at 6:15, Wednesday up at 6:00, Thursday up at 5:30 and this morning up at 5:00 (Plus she was up at 11:45, and thank you, Londo, for rocking her back to sleep). I'm thinking it's a pattern and I'm a little worried about the nights and mornings to come. Especially because...

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My wonderful hubby is going out of town. He is right now on his way to the airport. He will be gone until very late Monday night. I'm hoping this weekend goes well, but the Pumpkin has been extra fussy lately. One of her teeth is just about to break through. Hopefully it will very soon, and that will at least make her sleep better. I can handle the fussing if she is at least sleeping.

So, Mama's Flying Solo this time, although it is not my first or even second time.

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Why is it that I keep referring to myself in the third person to the Pumpkin? Is this normal, or am I an episode of Seinfeld? It's going beyond "Come to Mama" and into things like "Mama doesn't like it when you do that" or "Mama needs to go over here." I'm really trying to stop it before it gets out of hand.

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I've got more, but I'll save it for another day. I've even got some longer topics I want to cover that I haven't had time to write up yet. I'm hoping to have some time over the weekend to start them, but with Londo out of town, I'm not sure what my days and nights will be like.

Fidgety Baby (Reprise) and Mansfield Park

Did you think I was done talking about the Pumpkin's fidgeting after yesterday's long post? I did too. Until last night. When her fidgeting got so bad, I realized that I had more to write.

When I nurse the Pumpkin to sleep, I hate just sitting there. I get so sleepy. It used to be that she'd close her eyes pretty quickly and I could pull out my book and use my new booklight (a Christmas gift) to read while she nursed off to dreamland. But lately, she doesn't close her eyes for a long time, and her fidgeting has gotten worse, so I'm not able to read.

These days while she nurses, she fidgets and fidgets--twirling her hair, playing with the buttons on my shirt, playing with my fingers, trying to grab my lip and nose. So I hold on to her hand or her arm, keeping it still. And do you know what happens when I do that? Her LEG starts going! And she kicks me, and pushes with her leg and swings it around, banging my knee. So I use my hand and arm to try to hold her leg still and against me. Now, remember that my other arm is under the Pumpkin holding her in the craddle nursing position. So you know what happens when I try to hold her leg still... Yep, her arm and hand starts going again.

I'm working on the art of holding her hand/arm and leg still with one of my arms awkwardly positioned over her body. It's not easy, and it's very uncomfortable. So by the time we've switched nursing sides and she's finally actually falling asleep, I'm exhausted from dealing with her beating me up. My knee and arm are sore. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted. But she's finally asleep, and even though she is still fidgety, I'm able to put her in her crib and tip-toe out of the room.

But I'm totally wiped out. And that is why I went to bed at 9:30 last night and 8:30 the night before. I am so exhausted just from the 45 minutes to an hour it takes to get the fidget monster to bed. I had hoped to stay up a while last night and read, but it was not going to happen.

As for reading, I know I said I was going to read Jane Eyre next, and I really did want to. However, I haven't been able get my hands on the book! I know it's in one of the boxes of books still unpacked in our guest room closet. I finally got more shelves so that we can unpack those books. I just haven't had a chance to unpack those boxes and fish out the copy of Jane Eyre.

Instead, I've started Jane Austen's Mansfield Park. Here is the story behind this book on my list of alternates for the TBR Challenge:

Jane Austen is my favorite author (just barely beating out F. Scott Fitzgerald in recent years). My favorite book of hers is Pride and Prejudice, which I have read so many times I've lost count. Since Austen is my favorite author, you'd think I'd have read all her books. After all, when Fitzgerald held the distinction (and it is an honor, I assure you), the only book--nay*, the only story (since I've read all his short stories) of his I hadn't read was The Last Tycoon. Since it was unfinished at the time of his death, I've not felt compelled to read it, although I probably should.

In fact, I have not read all of Austen's finished works. I have never read Mansfield Park or Persuasion or Northanger Abbey. I own multiple copies of compilations of her entire works. I have no idea why I haven't read them. The Penguin Classic copy of Mansfield Park I'm reading was even my husband's copy from a college class. I've always felt remiss in not having read all her works. I'm working on remedying that, which is why this one is on the list. I'm only a few chapters in and already enjoying it. I'll do a review when I'm done.

*Can you believe I said "nay"? My head is apparently in the Austen world right now.

Baby Fidgets in Sleep (and While Awake)

Since I've started this blog, I've had quite a few visitors find me through a search for something like "baby fidgets in sleep" or "baby fidgets in bed" or simply "baby fidgets." This leads me to believe that there are others out there with fidgety babies who drive them crazy enough to search on the internet for some information about fidgeting babies. So I thought I'd do a whole post to discuss the fidgety nature of my child and how I deal with it.

Do you want to know when my child first started fidgeting? IN UTERO!! I'm not kidding. When I was pregnant, this baby moved a lot. She was very often kicking and pushing and hiccuping. OMG, the hiccups! I thought they would drive me nuts. Every. Single. Day. For. Months. Straight. Often more than once a day. I am not exaggerating--you can ask Londo or the many people I worked with, all of whom had to hear about it. I just thought it was part of being pregnant, and it probably is, but I've also realized that it is just my child's nature.

I may have mentioned before that the Pumpkin is a fussy baby, and she always has been. I think that part of her fussiness is her need for constant motion and activity. As a newborn, she needed to be held and walked/rocked/bounced constantly. When we weren't moving her, she was moving herself. She constantly kicked her feet and flailed her arms. Since she was a few weeks old, I have joked that she has restless legs syndrome, except it's her whole body. Restless Body Syndrome. I suspect she is not the only baby with this disorder.

How did we deal with this and get any sleep at all? Two things: the Miracle Blanket and the swing. Swaddling the baby worked amazingly well for us. Even when she was awake, a lot of times it would just calm her down. She would start calming down when we started the swaddling process. And we used the swing at night (all night long) from week 3 to 2 months. I would have kept using it, but she was getting heavy and it was starting to creak a bit. hehe.

We kept swaddling her at night when we moved her to the co-sleeper next to the bed, even though she started to kick her feet out. Then she started wiggling her arms out. Darn that fidgeting! She would wake herself up because she'd come almost completely out of the once mummy-tight swaddle. So we tried to not swaddle her, and it was a mess. We went back to swaddling.

Since she was such an active child, she started rolling over early. She started crawling early, she started standing, and cruising, and even walking early. The great thing about the early development of gross motor skills was that she was able to be active and fidgety on her own, without us having to constantly move her. But the huge issue with this early development is that she started rolling over in her sleep at 3.5 months. While swaddled. With her arms pinned to her sides.

So I freaked out, and we stopped swaddling her. This was right at the 4-month sleep regression time period. And there went our sleep. For months and months. Was it the figeting that kept waking her up? The teething? Gas? The sleep regression/developmental spurt? I don't know what it was, but to this day, I miss the swaddle.

Around 6 months, we moved her into her nursery. We figured if she was not sleeping in our bedroom, she might as well not sleep in her nursery so we wouldn't have to tip-toe around our room anymore. But I'd go in and cosleep with her in there for the morning hours. And she'd fidget.

I have before refered to "The Fidget Hour" which is the hour (or more) it would take the Pumpkin to settle down. I would bring her into the twin bed with me, nurse her lying down, and we'd start drifting off to sleep. Often, it would be beautiful and easy. But there were many many times that were not so easy. Especially when she was super fidgety. She would grab my shirt, grab my hands, twirl her hair in her fingers, and on and on. She would kick me, push her feet into me, and constantly move her legs. All while her eyes are closed and looking like she should be asleep.

On the worst mornings, she'd stop nursing and keep fidgeting, sometimes waking herself up or keeping herself awake. I learned to let her roll over onto her stomach and cuddle around her to keep her arms and legs from moving. Sometimes this would work, other times it would just piss her off.

Finally, she seems to be learning to stay asleep or put herself back to sleep through the fidgeting. I imagine it's just one of those things. She still fidgets, not only in her sleep but also while nursing or in her highchair or in her carseat--Who am I kidding? She fidgets EVERYWHERE. But so does her daddy, so at least she comes by it honestly.

To all those out there struggling with fidgety babies, good luck. I have no good answers for how to help others, only things that we tried that worked sometimes.
I hope it gets easier for us all as they get older.

Happy New Year and My Love for Neil Gaiman

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope 2008 has started off better for you than it has for us. I know you're thinking, "Did that baby keep you guys up all night again?" After all, I did state that the only way I would be up at midnight was if the baby woke us. (Am I an amatuer at this? Don't I know by now not to tempt the God of Sleep?!?! What was I thinking?) It turns out, that wasn't true. We were woken shortly after midnight by my mom's dog, who is staying with us while they are visiting other relatives.

That's right, my house currently contains an upset cat who is peeing on stuff, a whiny dog who keeps trying to lick the baby in the face, a visiting dog who wants to chase the cat (making the cat more upset), a 9.5 month old baby who is in a fussy period, and two very grumpy, very tired adults.

Happy New Year!

The Pumpkin actually slept until 4:00, went back to sleep pretty easily with me (have I mentioned how much I love nursing lying down?), but then woke up at 5:50 and wouldn't really go back to sleep, due to another round of The Fidget Hour. I'm surprisingly not exhausted, but Londo is more crotchety than ever, thanks to visiting dog!

On a much brighter note, today begins the To Be Read Challenge 2008! I'm really excited to start this, and I have high hopes and a lot of good books that have just been sitting around waiting for me to read! For January, I'm going to read Neil Gaiman's Anansi Boys. I did say there was a story behind each of these books, so I will now relate the story behind this one.

I love Neil Gaiman. I've loved Neil Gaiman for longer than I've known my husband. I discovered Neil Gaiman through my brother, who has introduced me to so many good writers, books, movies and comic books. That's right, I said comic books (I'm a bit of a geek*). Or in the case of Neil Gaiman, graphic novels. Neil Gaiman wrote The Sandman comic books/graphic novels (speaking of the God of Sleep), which are incredible. He has also written quite a few novels, including Anansi Boys. Neil Gaiman is extremely imaginative, coming up with new and unique plots, and he is dark, delving into places of the mind and psyche that many dare not go.

Even if you don't like the science fiction/fantasy genre, there are a few sci-fi/fantasy novels that are such amazing books that they transend the genre and are just great books period**. The way Battlestar Galactica is more than just a great sci-fi show--it's a great show. One of these books is Neil Gaiman's American Gods. It's one of the best books out there, and I recommend it to everyone.

So, my point is I love Neil Gaiman and everything he's written. This book came out in 9/2005, and I bought it shortly after. That's right, over 2 years ago. Londo read it right away and proclaimed it another excellent book by Neil Gaiman. But I still haven't read it. Why not? Why wouldn't I read one of my favorite authors? It was because I Wasn't Myself! This was one of those things I simply wasn't in the mood for. Now, I'm back to being mostly myself, so it's the first one I've selected from the stack to read. Cause I missed me, and I missed Neil Gaiman!

*Before ImpostorMom argues, I will just fess up that I'm a HUGE geek, especially in the area of sci-fi/fantasy/comics. Those of you who are not into these things, I challenge you to expand your horizons and discover the amazing stories that reflect our world in the form of other worlds. I've got a whole schpiel, but this isn't the time for it.
**My number 1 example of this type of book is Orson Scott Card's Enders Game, which I've recommended to many people who look at me skeptically because they don't like sci-fi and come back to me within the week saying they stayed up all night finishing the book. It's that good. Hmmm, I should re-read that.

Don't Push Me Cause I'm Close to the Edge...

It's like the Pumpkin somehow knows that her dad and I are right on the edge of losing it... And she pulls us back by sleeping from 8 UNTIL 5! Yes, it was a beautiful night last night.

The morning was still rough for her and me because we didn't really go back to sleep until 5:50. My alarm goes off at 6:00. So basically we were up since 5. And that almost hour when we lay in bed with me trying to nurse her back to sleep? She fidgeted the whole time, scratching me, pulling at my PJ pants, plucking at my PJ top, scratching the wall behind her, kicking me, grabbing at my hand, waving her arm around, and you get the picture. Fidgeting in general drives me crazy. It's especially frustrating when the baby fidgets for almost an hour when all I want to do is go back to sleep.

The 7 hours of sleep I got were great, but the morning was not so great with her fussing because she was still tired and my grouchiness because of the Fidget Hour. But I've dropped the Pumpkin off at my mom's, I've had my coffee, and I'm ready to get some work done (after I post this, of course)!

Besides, one of my favorite authors posted a comment in the Question of the Week post. That really brightens my day!

In other news, my hubby (let's call him Londo--and I'll be really impressed if anyone gets this reference before he explains it) has agreed to throw in the occasional post to share the daddy perspective. I'm excited to read what he has to say!