caramama Updates

It has occurred to me that I write about a lot of different things, especially issues we are having, and then I never write any updates or resolutions. So today, I'm going to give some updates.

Let's see...

Weaning the Pumpkin
Although I didn't feel ready to wean the Pumpkin, it actually went surprisingly smoothly. I think this was for two main reasons: the timing and her already taking bottles during the day. Although she really enjoyed nursing, she seemed to be in a stage where she didn't HAVE to have it. She was already taking bottles for her nap and once a week for bedtime (Londo was putting her to bed one night a week to give me a break). So we just switched her morning nursing and the rest of the betimes to bottle. She hasn't really seemed to miss it at all. I have, but she seems to have moved on. And we still get the close, snuggle time when I give her bottles and rock her to sleep.

Big Girl Bed
It's been almost two weeks since we moved the Pumpkin to the twin bed in her room. This has also gone surprisingly smooth. That's not to say that it was some perfect fix for her inability to consistently sleep through the night or her need for us to rock her to sleep. Not at all. But she is sleeping (or not) just as well in the twin bed as she was in her crib. The one thing that is WAY better is that putting her down is so much easier. She used to sometimes wake up when I leaned over to put her down in the crib. Now, it's much smoother of a transition.

When she wakes up in the nights or in the mornings, instead of standing in her crib crying, she now gets out of bed and stands at the door, jiggling the handle, crying/calling, "Mommy, open door! Daddy, open door!" When one of us goes and opens the door, she runs into her room straight for the rocking chair, saying, "Rocking chair!" Then, we rock her back to sleep and slip into bed with her. If we wake up during the night or in the morning and she is fast asleep, we slip out of bed and back into our own bed. I'm much happier with this set up, and I think she is too.

Climbing vs. Childproofing
When I wrote about what a monkey my little girl is, sheSaid said, "I had been wanting to ask you how you balance satisfying her climbing need and childproofing. We don't seem to have enough he can actually climb safely (he's still short so he can only reach certain things)."

The short answer is, I don't know that we do. Balance is such hard work. Also, our girl is very tall on top of able to climb, so she can (and does) get into EVERYTHING! We quickly realized that we had to put locks on all the doors in the kitchen. We are not a family that can get away with not locking them. All of them. In addition, we had to take just about everything off of shelves that were below the counter height. In the last month, I actually had to move everything that was on the counter by the kitchen table and chair to ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! I'm not kidding. Our bread box and napkins are now up there, which I can barely reach (I'm only 5'2").

She tries to climb on tables now, too. We just keep telling her no, to sit down in the chair or not get on the coffee table. We let her climb in any chair she wants and the couch, but she's not supposed to stand in them. Ha! There's pretty much no stopping her and she isn't good at listening to "No." With her, it's all about putting things up even higher, distracting her, and deciding what to just let go because it's not that big a deal if she plays with it.

We did get one of those toddler cube/slide things for the backyard (yeah for freecycle!) and the babysitter takes her to a playground pretty much every day. But she still tries to climb everything, including us.

Baths
Baths have gotten better mostly since I was losing it. I did a lot of what you all suggested in a throw-everything-including-the-kitchen-sink-at-the-problem-and-hope-something-sticks method. The things I think that have helped the most are getting a bunch of new toys, her being older and therefore better about holding her head back so I can pour water without getting it in her eyes, being sure to take turns with Londo so I don't get overwhelmed, and letting a lot of it go. Hearing that many people just let them drink the bath water helped. I don't really want to offer her a sippy cup or other water, because we try to limit water after dinner. She gets a big bottle before bed, and her diapers are always very full. After a few leaks, we instituted the no water after dinner. But if she drinks some bath water, it won't kill her.

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I'm sure there is a ton more I can update, but those are the big things that come to mind now. Am I missing anything that anyone has been wondering about? (Besides the TTC stuff. I'm not ready to talk more about that yet.)

Feats of Strength

I warned you all that I was going to be telling cute Pumpkin stories, and here are more. This time, let's talk about my daughter's incredible physical abilities. I've mentioned that she has been hitting those physical milestones pretty early, and in fact her gross motor skills have been rated as Exceeding Expectations (by a very objective Mama)!

The Pumpkin has always particularly loved climbing. Lately, she is climbing EVERYTHING. For a while, she's been climbing up on our new couch. It's just the right level for her to swing her leg up on and get a hold in with her foot or knee. She's now also able to climb into adult-sized chairs, including the upholstered glider in her bedroom. She works with the rocking motion and gets her foot or knee up and there she goes. She gets in, turns around, sits down, rocks with the chair already in motion from her climb in and says "wheeeee!" It's terribly cute.

About a week ago, she started climbing into one of the wooden kitchen chairs. The kind that look like this, but in a different color. Londo and I just watched her in amazement, as she squirmed her way up into the chair, turned around and then grabbed the table and pulled herself in to the table. In. Cred. A. Ble.

Over the weekend, she was toddling around as I sat in one of the kitchen chairs and flipped through a magazine on the table. I got up to cook or something, and she pulled herself into the chair I was in, turned around and started flipping through the magazines. Don't worry, I took pictures and even a little video. This kind of imitation I want on film!

Yesterday, she climbed up on the glider's ottoman, which also glides. Later she climbed up on another ottoman, which was even smaller than the glider's ottoman. She balances on her knees, and the slides them out so she's sitting.

Londo and I have had a few minor heart attackes, as this climber works her way up everything around. I won't stiffle her climbing, because I was a climber too* and that's a perfectly valid way to be. But we know she needs to learn limitations and where dangers are. We've been teaching her that she is not allowed to stand on the couch or chairs (because she inevitably starts bouncing and flinging herself around, and if she's standing, she is more likely to fall off and having a bigger fall). Instead, we tell her that the couch and chairs are for sitting, so that is why she immediately turns around and sits when she climbs in things.

We've also started teaching her where the edge is. I think this was brilliant on my part. When she gets too close to the edge of something, I ask her where the edge is and she stops, looks and pats the edge. Next step we are working on is to move away from the edge. Unfortunately, she is currently fascinated with the edge. Actually, this is probably a good stage to go through. I let her stare off the edge, but only when she's lying down so she's more stable. She's reaching for things on the floor or just pointing down. She's slipped a couple times, and when she's not far from the bottom, I will guide her slide down. This is so she understand that she will fall if she goes of the edge, but I guide her so she doesn't hit hard or get hurt. Let's hope she figures it all out before she does get hurt.

The other limitation she's discovered on her own is that she can't always get down by herself. Long ago, we taught her to go feet first when she wants to get down from somewhere, and she's really good about this. When she looks down and feels like she can't make in on her own, she looks up at me, reaches out a hand and calls out "hans" for me to give her my hand(s). She will wait for me to come over and give her my hand and help her off. She's tried to get off the wooden kitchen chairs herself two or three times, but each time the wooden seat edge must have dug into her thighs, because she screams out when she lands and grabs her legs like she's in pain. I comfort her and tell her next time to ask for my hands.

And she does, cause she's a supergenius as well as a super-strong baby.

*Not only did I climb every tree I could get my hands on and all jungle gyms in the area, I used to literally climb the walls. We had this hallway that was the perfect width for me to put one hand and foot on one wall and the other hand and foot on the other wall and then climb up the walls until I reached the ceiling, where I would hang out for a while. My mom was impressed and just told me not to do it near the stairs. I'm striving to be as supportive as my mom, who never showed the heart attacks I'm sure she was having.

Go Outside and Play!

Since having kids, I've heard a lot of people joke about how their parents used to send them outside to play, maybe telling them not to come home until dark. The world seems to have changed, we all lament. Kids have play dates, instead of just going down the street to play with other neighborhood kids. Kids stay inside and play video games or watch TV instead of biking and running around the block. Back in our day, our parents told us to go outside and find something to do!


I don't disagree with any of that, but I remember it a little differently. I remember begging my parents to let me go out and play. We had a swing set and a jungle gym in our back yard. My best friend lived behind me, a quick jump over a low fence with a big rock right at the spot we'd climb over. We had tall trees for climbing and little traffic on the streets around my block. The park with a creek and the pool were right down the street, and more friends were a couple streets over. I always wanted to be outside playing with my friends. My parents didn't need to send me out! There was so much to do outside that I wanted to stay out all day!


I really like the neighborhood we live in now. There are lots of other kids and a nice pool. The playgrounds, however, are only okay. There are some of those plastic contraptions with something to climb up and in and a slide. Even when my kids were toddlers, they got bored on the small playground rather quickly. To get to the swings, we have to walk across the entire neighborhood, which my kids can't do on their own at this point. The neighborhoods just aren't the same these days.
During the years when my kids were babies/toddlers/pre-schoolers, we would go out front to do sidewalk chalk and bubbles, and maybe a few of the kids close by would join, but it was only occasionally and had to be constantly monitored. The next few years, the kids were learning to ride bikes and scooters and the like, but my kids are not ones to clamor to do it on their own and head off around the block by themselves. So it was always a lot of effort on our part to go out and help them and be with them. It's always a good time, but it's more limited time since there are so few free hours we adults seem to have.


Now that my kids are a bit older, they are making friends in the neighborhood and wanting to do things with the other kids. But what are they to do with the other kids?


Well, we happen to have a very large backyard--one of the largest in any of the houses in this neighborhood (or in the nearby neighborhoods). We have plans to build a deck and re-do some of the landscaping at some point, but not for a while. The kitchen windows look right out into the backyard,


We've tried sending the kids out back to play soccer or whatever else, but it never lasts very long. The kitchen windows look right out into the backyard, so I can watch them from inside while making dinner or doing the dishes, so I would like to send them out back more.
So after much research, I have found what I think will be the solution! I found this monkey bars/swing/slide playset! I have read that it goes up to age 12, so we still have a few years that we can get good use out of it--not to mention that I'm pretty sure I will love it and I'm WAY over 12!


It is being delivered today, and we plan to set it up this weekend! I showed the kids before I bought it to make sure they thought they'd really use it, and at first my daughter was hesitant about the monkey bars, since she says she can't really do them. She also asked if I would push her on the swing, since she's not very good at pumping herself. And I'm thinking "Oh, my! We are DEFINITELY getting this now! I can't have kids who can't climb and swing on things!" Those were my staples in play when I was growing up, and I realize it is likely because I had the equipment in my own backyard and went out on it all the time. To her credit, after thinking about it she said she really did want the playset so that she could practice the monkey bars and get better at them. I added she should do that with the swing, too, and she agreed.


I want my kids to be able to go out back and have something right there to play on, something right in our yard so they can't say they are bored and come right back in. I want to give my kids the ability to develop their coordination and sense of adventure! Give them something that will help them grow and try new things and develop their athletic abilities. I want something their friends in the neighborhood want to come over and play with. I want them to have a fun backyard, like I did growing up. I want them to beg to go outside and play, even if I have to cook dinner or do other household stuff.


And I want the ability to watch them play on a summer evening while I sit on the (adult) glider and drink a glass of wine. Maybe I'll swing on some monkey bars, too.

Getting Girly

In the last few months, my daughter has started to become more girly. She is a highly active, spirited child who usually prefers physical play to sitting down and doing anything quiet. She would rather climb and jump and race cars around and throw and kick balls than play with dolls and have tea parties and read books.

At least, that used to be true.

In the spring, the Pumpkin discovered tea parties. She LOVES to have tea parties. We sit down with her special tea set, she pours the tea and cream and scoops in the sugar and stirs it up. When my mom got her an adorable (and handmade) toddler table and chairs, we put it in her room for her tea parties. Just about every morning these days she asks if we can have a tea party. We now always have some birthday cake (the Melissa and Doug wooden set) to go with the tea party. I'm having a blast with these, and we often give a cup to the Pookie or the dog, too.

At some point over the fall, the Pumpkin's interest in dolls took off. At a friends birthday party, she got a gift of Disney's Belle princess doll. She absolutely loves it. She loves it so much that we got her a Belle costume for Halloween. She also got a Tinkerbell doll from my mom recently, and she is really into her now too. In addition, she actually started to play with the doll I got her last Christmas and the one my mom got her the Christmas before, as well as with the bassinet and high chair for the dolls that my sister got her last Christmas. She puts them to sleep and rocks them and feeds them. She used to have no interest in dolls at all, but either because of her age, her current development or from being in school, she is really getting into dolls.

And the last sure sign of girliness developing? She's starting to play dress up. Inspired by a visit to my sister's house where she and her cousin (who is a year older) played with dress up dresses and accessories, I suggested playing dress up at our house. We had a Barbie dress up dress that my FIL got her once, plus the Belle costume from Halloween. I pulled out some old beads that I'd had from a Marti Gras-themed party, some feather boas (I have three from various things, no need to get into why), my tiara from my wedding and a silly hat I've had hanging around for a long time. Oh, what fun we had dressing up! Her favorite part is putting all the bead necklaces on herself and others (including me, Daddy and the Pookie).

One of my favorite moments recently was when my sister came over with her kids and our girls were playing dress up and I suggested we have a tea party while we were all dressed up! The baby boys sat in my sister's and my laps while we helped the girls set up the tea party in their finery. It was the kind of thing I had hoped for when I found out I was having a girl.

Now, we are still encouraging playing with cars and trains and balls and trucks. She is still highly active and spirited, an amazing climber, runner and jumper. But it's nice to get to play with some girly things too.

I myself have always had a foot in both sides of the typical gender-stereotyped play. I absolutely LOVED--okay, still LOVE--Barbie and many other girly toys. But I also always loved to climb trees, pretend to be GI Joe characters and dig in the dirt. As an adult, I love high heels, jewerly and makeup; but I also love football, poker and action movies.

Girls and women in this day and age are very lucky, IMO. We can wear pink and blue, show both the feminine and masculine sides of ourselves. I think this makes us well-rounded as humans. I only hope that it becomes more acceptable for boys to show both sides as my boy grows up. For now though, I'm enjoying playing with dolls and having tea parties with my little girl.

The Pumpkin is Enrolled in Pre-School!

So, I finally did it. I got the application and enrollment fee into the pre-school we have picked out so the Pumpkin can start in the Fall.

We visited the pre-school back in March and liked it well enough. It's not a Montessori school, but they do have some Montessori activities and educational methods, so at least the Pumpkin will have some exposure to that method. I still really love the Montessori method and school we visited, but to lay it out there, we simply can't afford it. We possibly have somehow made it work if it were just the Pumpkin whose daytime care we had to pay for, but with the boy on the way, there is no way we can afford that school at this time.

But that's okay. Because this school is really nice and extremely convienent, and we think the Pumpkin will do great there.

When we visited, we went on a Friday afternoon and brought the Pumpkin with us (as they recommended). We watched her interact with other kids, run around the room, sit at the table with the other kids to color, and (of course) try to climb everything she could. She tried to climb the chairs stacked up next to the wall and toys that could easily have broken.

It was a two-year-old room, and she has just turned two, but this is a new environment for her. She will need to learn the rules, and the teachers will need to learn her personality. I think this school will not only be a great place for her to experience new things that we don't do at home (like painting and other messy things I don't want to deal with yet), but also a great place for her to learn the structure of schools and the expected behavoir in places like schools.

The Pumpkin is extremely social and vocal, so I'm not worried about that aspect of starting pre-school. She generally adjusts to change well. But she is also clingy and needy and emotional. I've been extremely thankful to have such a wonderful nanny who is about to give the Pumpkin what she needs emotionally, physically and socially. She is always taking the Pumpkin to the playground to meet up with two other nannies with kids around the same age. When it's rainy or too cold, they meet up at each others' houses (including ours). The nanny is able to put the Pumpkin down for naps almost every single day (Londo and I can do so only rarely), and she is so patient and loving with the Pumpkin. (I am concerned about how the Pumpkin will (or won't) nap at the pre-school, but I'm not going to really worry about it until we see how it goes.)

I'm sooooo happy to say that our nanny has agreed to stay on for the boy! She will continue to come over and watch the Pumpkin while I'm home on maternity leave with the boy. Then, when the Pumpkin goes off to pre-school (doesn't that sound so grown up? *sniff*) at the beginning of September, I will head back to work and the nanny will watch the boy.

It all sounds great to me and Londo, and we hope that it goes smoothly. Any tips, advice or words of wisdom are welcome, as always. We know there will be adjustment periods over the next few months, but we believe it will all work out.

All the Monkeys Aren't in the Zoo

When I heard that this week's blog blast from The Parent Bloggers Network was I Live in a Zoo to promote Generation Next's brand-new product - iKnow Animals, Letters & Sounds (which looks like a really cool product!), I thought of a few different ways I could run with this topic. There's the fact that we have a toddler, a dog and a cat, all of whom are constantly into things, underfoot and making messes that Londo and I have to clean up. There's the fact that my daughter could likely become a zoologist when she grows up given her love for animals and their sounds. But then it occurred to me how my life is most like a zoo...

My daughter is a monkey.

The Pumpkin is so clingy so much of the time. I'm not exactly complaining, because I do love to hold and cuddle her. She has always been clingy and needed to be held a lot. Goodness knows I would not have made it through the first year without the myriad of slings we got! But occasionally I need to put her down for some reason. And now, she holds on with her legs in addition to her arms when I try to put her down. When she realizes I'm lowering her, she wraps her legs around my thigh and holds on as if for dear life with legs and arms. Do I need to mention she is also fussying/whining when she does this?

When we read one of her animal books that talks about the baby orangutan and how it clings to its mommy's neck, I often joke that its just like what the Pumpkin does to Mama. Like a monkey, she just wants to hold on to me while we walk around, while I cook, while I do dishes, while I do just about anything. Except when she wants to walk and climb herself.

Which brings us to the next resemblance. My child doesn't just walk around and run a bit, she CLIMBS EVERYTHING!! Just like a young simian who is learning how to navigate the trees in its forest environment, my girl sees the couch, chairs, tables, counters and even baby gates and immediately figures out how to climb up. Stairs? She's up them! Playground equipment? To the top faster than you'd think an 18 month old could move. Beds? Picnic tables? Stools? Up, up and up.

My child's monkey-like qualities really have kept me on my toes. I have to figure out creative ways to do things while holding her, and I have to baby proof things I thought were already baby proofed as she figures out how to reach higher by climbing. This makes my life more exciting than I was used to, especially when added to the dog and cat and the animals noises that my daughter loudly shares.

Yep, my life is a zoo. But at least the Pumpkin is not as hairy as a monkey.

Question of the Week - Help a Mama Out

I have so many random questions I want to ask around about, so many areas in which I would love some advice and opinions. How can I narrow this week's question of the week down to just one? So...

This week's question of the week is:

Can you help caramama out with answers or advice in any of the following areas?

(Hehe. See what I did there? I'm totally cheating!)

1. My daughter keeps singing some words to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle (or ABCs or Baa Baa Black Sheep--all of those have the same tune), and the words of the second line go something like, "Where you going in the night?" I have no idea where it is from, which means it probably was on some TV show I didn't watch with her (last time we had a mystery song, it turned out to be the Wonderpets song). She is singing the same words over and over, so I'm pretty sure she didn't make it up. Does anyone have any idea what she's singing? It's driving me crazy to not know!

2. I was looking at beds for the Pumpkin's new room, and most of the ones I like with drawers or trundles under have just the platform that you put the mattress on. No box spring. Londo is concerned that just a mattress might be bad for her back. Also the only ones we've slept on like that were super uncomfortable, but I think that has more to do with how hard the mattresses were then the fact that they didn't have box springs. Does anyone know anything about mattresses without box springs? I just know that the bed frames look cute.

3. I know I've gotten sibling/new baby book recommendations before, but I'm totally blanking on all of them. I keep meaning to buy some, but haven't been to a store on made an online order for a while. I'm going to REALLY soon. So, does anyone have any good recommendations for us to read to the Pumpkin to help her prepare for the new "baby brudda"?

4. Does anyone know how to safely (and hopefully easily) get cat urine out of antique fabric on a chair? I won't get into the story except to say, "Grrrrrrrrr!!!"

5. Londo and I were planning to buy a cheap dresser for the Pumpkin's new room because we are sure she will draw on it and put stickers on it and what have you. But my dad mentioned that if it's a cheap dresser it might not be that sturdy. And it is well known that my child LOVES to climb everything she possibly can. My dad was worried she's try to climb in or on a drawer (highly likely) and it would break and she's get hurt. Does anyone have an opinion on cheap vs. sturdy or a good idea to get both? (No need to recommend IKEA. I really like the idea of IKEA and the things I see other people have from there, but I can never find things I like/in my style there, unfortunately.)

6. The Pumpkin LOVES music. She also loves to push buttons, and she loves to turn on the music box attached to the crib in the nursery (where she is currently). So we would like to get her some sort of kids radio/(maybe) CD player for her new room. However, her love of climbing includes standing on toys. Also, she is not really careful with things yet, although she is learning. Anyone have any suggestions on a radio/CD player that would be good for her?

I'm sure I had more, but that's probably enough for now. I hope someone can help us out with any of these!!!

Fun Family Shorts

Now that 2010 has closed, I thought I would write some snippets about what fun we've been having together as a family of four over the last year, especially recently. My daughter is 3.75 years old, and my son is 18 months old. Londo and I are really enjoying these ages--despite the frustrations of Three and the whining of 18 Months. We are a fun, silly family and that's what's making life so good right now.

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The other day, the Pumpkin told me that she and her brother were having pretend names. The Pookie was "Midnight," and she was "Kookie." She asked what my name was going to be, and then named me "Boopie." Unfortunately, when she said it, it sounded either like boobie or poopie, so I told her I wanted to be "Strawberry."

Then she asked Londo what his pretend name was. He said, "You may call me... Tim." I got a good chuckle out of that.

And then the game began. "Tim" sat on the couch, and any time one of us would get close, he would grab us and hold us. We would call for the others to come save us. It was so funny to hear my daughter call out, "Strawberry, we've got to save Midnight!" And save him we did.

And this game? We pretty much play many variations of it all the time.

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We were down at my inlaws for Christmas. We had a great time, and got to spend a lot of time with each other and my husband's family.

One day as we were all playing in the game room, the Pumpkin said we were going to go to a bird show. So we gave tickets and pretended to learn about and feed the birds. Then for some reason, Londo said he was a penguin. So he started walking around in a penguin waddle with his arms down at his side but his hands sticking out. If you've seen the Diego where he shows how to waddle like a penguin, you know what I'm talking about.

So then, the Pumpkin started waddling like a penguin, and they were both waddling around saying "waddle, waddle, waddle" and pretending to eat fish and giving penguin hugs.

Of course I jumped into the new game, and started waddling. The Pookie had been watching and laughing, but he is always quick to join in, too. So he did his best to imitate the waddling, and we all walked around in circles as a penguin family. It was really cute.

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When I was a kid, my family used to play a game we called "Stack 'Em Up." My dad would lie on the ground and call out "stack 'em up!" My brother, the oldest kid, would lie down on my dad. Then my sister, the middle child, would lie down on my brother. And then I, the youngest, would climb on and lie down on the top. My mom would watch (and I now suspect she also tried to make sure no one got hurt) and laugh. We'd all laugh. Though simple, it was a really fun game.

So of course I've started the same game at my house! Before the Pookie could play, Londo would lie down, I would lie on him and the Pumpkin would climb on top of me. Now, either Londo or I lie down, then the Pumpkin and then the Pookie climbs on top (while the other parent makes sure the Pookie doesn't fall). I can foresee the time when the Pookie is able that we will all be part of the stack!

We've got variations, too. Although it's supposed to go from largest on the bottom to smallest on the top for obvious reasons, occasionally we mix it up a bit, being very careful of smaller people below us. Also sometimes just the Pumpkin and the Pookie will play, and that's really cute.

I recently told my siblings and parents that we've carried on the tradition of playing this game, and my SIL said that my brother's family plays a similar game but they call it making a sandwich!

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One of the games the Pumpkin got for Christmas is called Elefun. It's this toy elephant with a very long tube of a nose. You put "butterflies" in the elephant, turn it on and it blows them out the nose. You use nets to catch the butterflies as they are shot out the nose, which is taller than me (but I am short)!

So the other morning, the Pumpkin wanted to play for the first time while the Pookie was around. I thought it was safe enough, so I got it out, handed both kids a net, and started it up. As we were laughing and cheering for each other, Londo joined in too!

I was so excited and happy to have the whole family play what is basically a game in the board game category! I have always wanted to have a Family Game Night once a week or every other week. We are close to being able to have that now, and that makes me happy.

A family that plays together, stays together, right?

Cara Mama - Swimming and Climbing

Cara Mama,

You say today is our last day of Water Babies? I've had so much fun! I hope we do something just as fun next time.

You say for the next class we are going to Little Gym where I'll get to climb on stuff? Oh, now that does sound fun! I love to climb!

Oh, and I love our new game where I stand behind you and you pretend you can't see me and ask where I am. And then I peek my head around, and you find me! Oh, it's so fun!

Ti amo,
Pumpkin

Getting What He Wants Without Words

The Pookie is almost 17 months old. He has really great receptive language skills. He obviously understands a great deal, and he generally knows what the words are that we are saying to him. His own verbalizing, however, is not as advanced as his receptive skills. He does have quite a few words, but his pronounciation leaves a lot to be desired.

For example, instead of "mama," he says "nahnah." I'll take it, of course, cause at least he's saying something intending to be mama. But he does not pronounce Ms when he should. He also says "ick" instead of "milk," but he accompanies it with the sign for milk, which he does for some other words, too. He's makes specific noises and is learning the signs for cracker, cereal, water, more and all done. Actually, he has the words "all done" down pat.

For many other words or to convey meaning, he indicates with gestures and noises which we try to figure out. He gets frustrated, and that frustration comes out in ways I'm sure you all know. He gets mad and yells, he fusses and whines, and he throws things and has tantrums when thwarted or unable to get what he wants. In other words, he's a toddler with limited verbal skills.

Yesterday morning, the boy was up at 5:00. I tried to get him to go back to sleep, but it was no use. I let him play in his room for a while, but he kept fussing. Finally, at about 6:30 I brought him downstairs to feed the dog and just be somewhere else where he hopefully wouldn't wake up his sister and dad.

He was very happy to be downstairs. He helped me feed the dog and let her out, and then I went to get him milk. In fact, he asked for milk by name, though not sign. "Ick! Ick!" he said, pointing to the fridge. "Yes, yes. I'm getting your milk," I told him.

But when I handed him his sippy cup of milk, he yelled, "NO!" and slammed it down. "But little guy, that's what you asked for," I reminded him. But still, no. He didn't want the sippy cup. I decide to try him with water, which is sometimes what he wants instead of milk. Nope, no water. He again says milk and points to the fridge. I try to hand him his sippy cup, but that's still not what he wants.

He went to the cabinet with the kids' stuff. Oh, have I mentioned that he can totally undo all the baby-proofing on the cabinets? Yeah, that's fun. So he opens the baby-proofed cabinet and takes out a kid spoon. He walks back to the table. I think, well, maybe he's hungry. I try to put him in his highchair, but he freaks out.

Okay, no highchair. That's not new. Lately, he's started climbing in the real chairs around the table and wanting to be there unstead of the highchair. Over the weekend, we pulled out the Pumpkin's old booster seat for him to use at the table, and he's liked that a lot. Which of course means he rarely wants to be in the highchair, although he still sometimes tries to climb in it to indicate that he's hungry.

Even in my half-awake daze, I realize that he seems to want something specific. I start to piece it all together. He got a spoon and wants milk from the fridge. He is by the table but doesn't want to get in his highchair. It's morning and he's been up for quite a while, and he didn't eat much for dinner the night before. I think he must be hungry, and he usually has cereal in the morning. He doesn't usually remember the sign for cereal and I've never heard him say the word cereal, at least in a way I've understood.

So I ask him, "Do you want cereal?" He makes babbles that are not in disagreement. I go to the kids' cabinet and pull out a kid bowl. He looks excited by this development. I put the bowl on the table. I pull out Life and Cheerios and offer both to him. He quickly moves straight for the Life cereal.

I put that and the spoon on the table and help him climb into the booster seat at the table. He picks up the spoon and points to his bowl, making "ooo ooo" noises. I pour in the cereal, and he's obviously happy. He says "ick ick!" and I pour in the milk.

Delighted, he happily starts digging in to his cereal with both spoon and hand, as he does these days. He's sitting where he wants, eating exactly what he wants, eating the way he wants. Oh yes, he's a happy boy now!

Although he can get across what he wants without having the words, it would have been much easier and quicker if he did have the words. Someday, he will. For now, we'll keep trying to figure it out in other ways and teach him more signs.

My Week and Returning to Work

I must admit, it's nice to be back at work. I wore jewerly today, fixed my hair, and am wearing professional clothes! Considering my uniform the past almost 3 months has been a t-shirt and sweatpants, my hair has been in a ponytail or bun (depending on just how long it had been since I showered), and my only adornment has been spit up or dried milk, it feels nice to be clean and look nice.

I'm very thankful to have the nanny. She has continued to watch the Pumpkin, give her breakfast and get her dressed in the mornings this week, while the Pookie is sleeping and I'm getting ready to leave the house. (I have been bringing her to pre-school all this week.) It's because of her that I was able to take a shower this morning and not return to work smelling like spoiled milk and poop (I had fun with a leaky diaper last night).

I know that pretty soon we'll all get into a routine. We are finding our way now, but transitions are never just simple. This week has been especially difficult because Londo has had to work on a project that required a quick turn-around, and lots of hours of work. He leaves for work before anyone else gets up in the morning, and this past week he has been working late into the evening and continuing to work once he is finally home. He even had to work over the weekend. He hasn't seen the Pumpkin since he left for work Monday morning (she had come into our bed in the middle of the night). He hasn't held the Pookie since Sunday night except to change a diaper in the middle of the night on Tuesday. He misses us, and I miss him like crazy! Luckily, he should be done with this project today, so we are all looking forward to the long weekend.

Meanwhile, with the Pumpkin in pre-school and the Pookie with the nanny, I have been finally getting the house in order. I have rearranged all of the cabinets so that we can fit in the children's things (cups, plates, snacks, etc.). I have re-purposed the hutch in the dining room so that it now holds the Pumpkin's (and in the future the Pookie's) toys and activities we need to put away when she's not using them--like the Playdoh and paints). I've started cleaning out the front room so that I can set it up with a desk to accommodate the items we dump when we get home--like the mail and our bags and keys and all that other crap that has no place to go.

I cleaned out my car, which hadn't been cleaned since the Pumpkin was born. Every morning this week, the Pumpkin would climb in all by herself, and she'd try to pick up and eat an old Cheerio or raisin from the floor. I had to keep telling her that everything in Mommy's car was old and dirty. So yesterday, I cleaned it inside and out! Including the poop "stain" in the back that had been there since I changed the Pookie a few weeks ago. (I just love poopsplosions, don't you?) I have "stain" in quotes, because a real stain would be something left behind after trying to clean it up, right? Well, I never even tried to clean it before yesterday. That's how gross my car was. But now, it is beautiful and poop-free!

With Londo away and busy so much, I've also done things that he would normally do, like take out the trash, pour drain clearer down my drain and move many many things to the basement. All that on top of the normal laundry, dishes, grocery shopping and the care and feeding of the children. I would also like to take this time to thank my mom, who came over every night this week to help me with dinner and putting the kids to bed.

Like I said on Tuesday, it's been a busy week. But now, I'm clean, fresh, looking nice and back at work! And very happy to be here!

Cara Figlia - Happy 2nd Birthday

Cara mia ragazzina,

It's been a while since I wrote you a letter, my sweet little girl. But today, on your second birthday, I simply had to write you and tell you what a joy you are. Your father and I can hardley believe you are already 2 years old! We can barely remember what life was like prior to your birth 2 years ago, although I vaguely remember getting more sleep. You have changed our world, and we couldn't be happier.

I call you my little girl now, and rarely refer to you as baby. You simply aren't a baby anymore. You are a tall, strong, very verbal, very active little girl. I hesitate to even call you a toddler, because that implies that you toddle. You run, you climb, you jump, you waddle like a penguin, you hop like a frog... but toddle? Not in a long time.

In fact, you are constantly amazing us with the things you can do, and the things you no longer do. I simply can't believe that 2 years ago you were just a like "a lump of broccoli" as your daddy likes to say. That you couldn't do anything but nurse, cry, poop and be held. A year ago, when you were 1, you could do a lot of things like walk and talk, but not like what you can do now. Now, you put together long sentences with complex thoughts and emotions. You often stun your daddy and me with your creativity and abilities. Although we knew mentally and had seen other children grow, we are constantly hit by amazement at how fast you are growing up.

Allora, mia ragazzina dolce, buono secondo compleanno per te! Ti amiamo con i tutti nostri cuori! Speriamo il tuo anno prossimo siamo ancora migliori!

(So, my sweet little girl, happy second birthday to you! We love you with all our hearts! We hope your next year is even better!)

Ti amiamo sempre,
Mommy and Daddy

This and That

Update at bottom

I've been so neglectful, and I have a bunch of things that I want to say. So I'm doing one of those posts full of random tidbits, mostly updates from other posts. Hey, it's better than not posting at all, right?

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I'd love to add all my online friends as Facebook friends. I really would! But (you knew there was going to be a "but," right?) when I started my blog I promised my internet-security conscious husband that I would not use our real names* or post pictures where you could see any of our faces. I'm on Facebook with my real name, with the Pumpkin's real name and linked to my husband with his real name. We have both already posted pics of us and the Pumpkin. So to friend my online friends (even via email) would go against the spirit of my promise to my husband and his comfort level of the internet and my blog. I hope you all understand. And I hope we can just keep up with each other through the blog. Maybe I'll get back into Twitter too... We'll see.

*Cara is actually a nickname for my middle name, and one that I no longer use in real life (except when meeting other bloggers). It's a shame, because it's the name I prefer by far, but everyone else knows me by my first name or the nickname of my first name.

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We had about a week and a half of really good (for us) nights of sleep! About 3 of them, the Pumpkin slept through the night in her own bed all night long! The other nights, she would get out of her bed, walk down the hall, come into our room, climb in bed with us, snuggle with Londo and go right back asleep (which I've mentioned before). This suits us just fine, because we don't have to get out of bed and we are getting huge chunks of sleep! Now that Londo is used to how she wakes us up, neither of us have a problem with her coming into our bed, as long as she is sleeping. After all, we've spent well over a year cosleeping half the night in her room in that little twin bed where we were very uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, the last few nights have not gone as well. She is not going right back to sleep and is fussing, fidgeting and even crying. But at least we got a little respite.

Londo and I discussed how we felt if she continues to come into our bed long term (based on the feedback I got from you guys), and we both agreed that we honestly don't mind if it continues for even years. Londo remembers being scared of the dark when he was younger and that his parents always let him come to bed with them if he felt he needed it. It meant a lot to him. Also, we just don't have a problem with the "family bed" if that is what works for everyone. It's pretty normal in other cultures, and I know it's just about what each family is comfortable with. We long ago agreed that the dog and cat could sleep with us, and we've got a king-sized bed. If it's Londo, me, the dog, the cat, the Pumpkin and future child in bed with us, as long as we can all get comfortable and sleep most of the night, we are fine with it.

I totally appreciate the view points everyone shared in the last post about this. I don't know if I would have thought about the long term and discussed it with Londo on my own, and that was very important to do!

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The Pumpkin and I have been taking showers together in our stall shower pretty regularly now, and it's working out great! We first attempted this when she had a stomach virus and we both needed to get cleaned up. Now, it's been become a fun, regular way to get her clean without me having to deal with the issues I was having with giving her a bath.

There have been a few times where she's thrown a toddler tantrum and even had a complete meltdown because she didn't want to get in or out or have a towel or whatever. But those would have happened no matter what we were doing--they were just those kind of nights.

She still doesn't like water right in her eyes, but I developed a great trick for rinsing the shampoo out of her hair. After shampooing it in while blocking the water, I put a washcloth over her eyes and get her to stand under the shower spray. The washcloth can be wet or dry, just as long as it doesn't have any soap on it. I hold it against her eyes with one hand while I rinse out the shampoo out with the other. And in no time at all, she is rinsed and back to playing with bottles and whatever else is on the stall floor.

The additional bonus is that I finally don't have to worry about how to fit in my shower. We usually shower at night, but sometimes in the morning, and not every day. This suits me perfectly! And I still get some showers without her, which is when I can shave and just enjoy being in the peacefulness of the shower.

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In my car, the vents that are supposed to blow on my feet are not working. It has been very very cold. The other day, it was about 10 degrees F. Not only do I hate the winter, I also hate the cold.

The heater is working, just not the bottom vents. But consider this... I bundle up in a thick coat, a hat, a scarf and gloves, so I don't really need the heat blowing on my upper body. I wear pants to work, but no extra layer under them (because I don't have any maternity long johns). I do wear socks and shoes, but they aren't thick, warm socks or boots. So what I need the most is warm air on my bottom half. Which I don't get.

I'm hoping Londo will fix it soon. He thinks he can, but he needs to look at it. Maybe if he reads this post it will pressure him into fixing it soon. I'm not above that. ;-)

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Well, that's all I've got for now. I've got a bunch more to post, but they are longer thoughts and deserve their own posts. Which means, I better start posting more regularly or I'll forget it all with my pregnancy brain!

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Update:
Now I am feeling pretty self-conscious because no one is commenting. Are you all mad that I won't friend you on Facebook? It's not you, I promise! It's me! Or rather, it's Londo!!!

Question of the Week - You Be the Parent at Bedtime

A bloggy friend of mine does a really neat series of posts, which she calls You Be the Parent (her older posts were on her previous blog). It's like the Choose Your Own Adventures of parenting decisions. Not only do I like reading them and contributing to them, but I love to read everyone else's answers. It seems like a great way to get lots of opinions, as well as see where you are in the bell curve of people you know.

After approval for totally stealing borrowing the idea, I am doing an edition of You Be the Parent: Bedtime as my Question of the Week this week:

Although your three-year-old daughter has never gone to sleep easily, you worked hard over a couple of months to get her used to going to sleep on her own. You slowly weaned her from being cuddled and sang to in order to get to sleep, to sitting next to her and rubbing her back, to sitting across the room from her while she lied down by herself, to finally her going to sleep on her own without you in the room. To finally get her to do it by herself, you came up with a rewards chart, which had just started to work.

Then a few weeks ago, she stopped going to sleep by herself. In addition to having problems going to sleep, she has been quite a handful lately, and you suspect it might correspond to the sleeping issues. You are trying to re-wean her, and get her to stay in bed so you can start moving towards and then out the door. She is simply not ready to try the rewards chart and prizes at this point.

Bedtime has become miserable. It takes you 1 to 2 hours to get her to sleep, and it involves a lot of arguing, fighting, yelling and crying--and that's just on your part! Your daughter has occasionally hits and one time bit you! You are frustrated and dread bedtimes. Your partner is having an even worse time than you are.

You have spent 3 years and 4 months suffering through long, frustrating bedtimes with your kid. You are at your wit's end. Your husband thinks the process of weaning that worked before simply isn't working anymore. You both are wondering if a drastic change is needed, or if you should stay the course through this period of regression.

Do you:

A) Go back to lying in bed with her and singing her songs/telling stories to get her to sleep, in order to try to get her to sleep quickly and easily. It worked for a long time, it will likely work again.

B) Stay the course with weaning her from parents at bedtime by continuing to try to get her to stay in bed by herself until she is asleep. Eventually move away from the bed and reinstate the rewards chart to get out the door.

C) Try letting her stay up watching shows or playing quietly in her room until she is tired enough to go to sleep without a fight. She'll eventually fall asleep or climb into bed to pass out.

D) Sell her to gypsies or on eBay, whichever will take her first. See if they will also take the dog.

E) Other?

In the words of my friend, I eagerly await your input!

Big Girl Bed

I forgot to write out our whole bedtime routine yesterday, so here it is:
6:30 - dinner, which often last between 30 - 60 minutes (she's a slow eater)
7:30 - head upstairs for potty and then bath
8:00 - diaper, PJs, brush hair and brush teeth
8:10 - three or so books, if she wants them (she usually does, but lately she's been running around the room, climbing on the twin bed and throwing socks out of her drawers instead of wanting books)
8:20ish - bottle and rocking, then pacing and rocking and pacing and rocking
9:00 - 10:00 - actually get her asleep and in her crib

We start early-ish, but she just takes forever to get her to sleep. She truly fights it the whole way, fidgeting like crazy and trying to get down and play. Also, we've tried skipping some things or making them quicker to get her to bed earlier, and that makes it worse. She still sometimes won't fall asleep until 10, and we just spend hours trying to rock her. Totally not worth it.

Some of you have it really tough also, some have it easy and I'm jealous. Some worked hard to get to where they are and I respect that. Londo and I are not going to do CIO because our little one is a tension increaser (the Ask Moxie term Charisse mentioned) and for other personal reasons, which does not mean I condemn anyone who uses that method (every child and family is different, YMMV, do what works for you, etc.). We have just decided to struggling with other methods.

Speaking of other methods, I also didn't mention yesterday the big change we've made in the Pumpkin's sleeping environment because I wanted it to be it's own post (today's post). Hmmmm. Actually, it might not be such a big change, but it will sound that way.

You see, Saturday night we decided to heck with it, let's just put the Pumpkin to sleep in the twin bed in her nursery. The reason it's not such a big change is because she's probably spent more time in that bed than her crib lately! About a month ago, she was sleeping through the night in her crib every other night. But then, she got sick and even her 50/50 sleeping went out the window. We were back to getting her every night and cosleeping in that twin bed in the nursery, sometimes starting as early as 10:30.

We had debated moving her to the twin bed for the whole night for over a month, but when she was sleeping through the night in her crib half the time, it didn't make sense. But now, oh now it was time.

She's always been able to handle things physically that you would think are too advanced for her age. Like her climbing, which she is way more capable than anyone would believe unless you see her (freaks my parents and in laws out!). And she's never really liked her crib. There were maybe two, possibly three, short time periods where she would wake up in her crib and play a bit, but normally, she wants out immediately.

When we cosleep in her room (we take turns every night), the person who isn't cosleeping will wake up the cosleeper between 6 and 7 so that person can get up and get ready. And in the last two months, when the cosleeper gets out of bed, we have been leaving the Pumpkin in bed (because heaven forbid we try to transfer her to her crib!) with a pillow next to her. She would wake up later, call out for me (because I'm the morning duty parent), climb out of bed and be at the door by the time I opened it. We lined the floor next to the bed with pillows just to be safe, but she had no issues.

So, we just felt that she was ready and that it might help her get through the night on her own. I mean, nothing else seems to be working except us sleeping with her! And when we sleep with her in that twin bed, she usually sleeps through the rest of the night no problem. Maybe it was the bed?

However, we had to baby-proof the room in case she does get up and wander around the room getting into stuff in the middle of the night. Londo took the mattresses off the frame and put them on the floor so we would be less worried about her falling off the bed in the night. We covered all the plugs, took out the nightlight that plugs into the wall (we are using the clock as the nightlight because it is really very bright), and put the humidifier up on the dresser so that she won't be able to knock it over again. Most importantly, we moved the video monitor so it shows the bed not the crib (that way we can check if she is just doing a little fussing and falling back asleep, or really crying for us and getting out of bed). Prego! The room was ready!

Saturday night, I put her to bed in the twin bed. As always, I had to rock her/walk her until she was completely asleep and then carefully put her down in bed. That night, she slept through the night!!!

The next night, I put her down again, which again went fine because I got her completely asleep. Unfortunately, she woke up at 10:30 calling for me. So it wasn't a magic fix, but we didn't expect it to be. I went in and was able to lie down with her without rocking and we both fell back asleep. She did cry and kind of wake up again about 20 minutes later, but I just pulled her back onto my shoulder and we fell back asleep.

Then, at 2:45, I woke up and was about to roll over when I realized that she was pretty deep asleep next to me and not on me. So I slipped out of the bed and went back to my very own bed!!! And the Pumpkin? Kept sleeping until 7:45!

Last night did not go so well for Londo, but the Pumpkin was not feeling right. It was one of those nights that would have been bad no matter where she was or what we tried. Once he went in to sleep with her, she was so clingy he couldn't come back to our bed.

I still have high hopes for the big girl bed though. I think that she might start getting used to sleeping on her own in her own bed. If she needs us to lie with her to get her to sleep (or back to sleep), we can do that, and then we can slip back into our own bed. And hopefully she will get more and more used to falling asleep in that bed and waking up without us. Time will tell.

Already Complex

Yesterday, my sister asked me how the Pumpkin is doing. I answered, "You know, she's the Pumpkin. She's fun, amazing, fussy and not sleeping great. That's the Pumpkin." My sister laughed and said that described her daughter, too. She said, "Yeah, she's fun, amazing and fussy." (I noticed she left off the not sleeping great. Fortunately, she didn't get a bad sleeper.)

Her daughter is a year older than the Pumpkin, but it occurred to me that this is probably a pattern for life. The complexities of being a human begin early. My guess is that a lot of children are fun, amazing and fussy. And I know I don't have the only not great sleeper.

There are definitely other traits that the Pumpkin has which are more specific to her which make up the ways she is fun, amazing and fussy. And the combination of her traits, personality, likes and dislikes are even more unique. My girl is very active, loves to climb, loves to snuggle, is a good eater, prefers to sleep with us, loves to be outside, adjusts to new situations well, needs to be held a lot, fusses and whines when she wants something, and so much more.

What's the most fascinating about my child and all her complexities is that I really see how most of them were with her from birth, and even some in the womb! I was never sure how much of a child's personality was from nature or nurture. With the Pumpkin, I have really seen so much of her basic personality come from the nature side. What I have seen in the almost 2 years of her life is that the nurture side seems to help develop the ways in which her basic traits manifest themselves. She likes to snuggle and be held, and we not only meet that need but encourage it. When she fusses and whines for things (her favorite phrase lately seems to be "I waaaaann it!"), we discourage that and ask her to at least say please*.

I think that the toddler phase is so fun, and I'm really enjoying this time with her. We are really seeing her personality develop more and more, and a lot of times she is definitely more girl than baby. I hope we nurture the right aspects of her personality, but no one is perfect--neither Londo or I as parents or her as she develops into a little person. But that's okay. No matter what, we'll love her for who she is.

And I can't wait to see what this next one will be like!

*One time, I literally said, "Say please at least!" And she said, "Pweeese ad leass." It was so cute.

Cara Mama - No Longer a Bambina

Cara Mama,

I'm no longer a baby. I'm really a toddler now. I don't babble like a baby--I babble like a toddler, with realistic sounds and real words stuck in here and there. I don't move like a baby--I move like a little child who climbs and runs and hits and kicks. I don't even cry like a baby anymore--I let loose with my cries, and more often than not turning it into a real tantrum!

I'm growing up, Mama. When we get ready for bed, I like to stand up on my steps at the sink and brush my own teeth. When we are going places, I want to walk on my own. I want to go up and down the stairs on my own and not be carried. I want to be able to use my spoon myself and get my snacks myself. I want to hold my bottle myself. I want to do so many things myself, even things you say I can't do myself yet. I want to climb on everything and get down myself.

Thanks for letting me do all these things. I do appreciate you being there to help me and guide me. But I also appreciate you letting me try things and stretch myself. I am a toddler, and I'm learning new things all the time.

But I suppose I'll still be your baby, your bambina.

Ti amo,
Pumpkin

Now That He's Tasted Freedom...

Londo and I have been tossing around the idea of converting the Pookie's crib to a toddler bed. But when the Pookie wakes up in the morning, he sits in his crib for 30 minutes or more playing. He's confined and happy. I have time to get up and get ready before he's calling for me to get him. And it's hard to change something that's been working so well.

Or had been.

Over Thanksgiving at my inlaws, the Pookie slept in a pack 'n play in a guest room, as he always does. We set it up where we always do, next to the guest bed. It has a lovely wrought iron headboard and footboard, with the footboard about a foot away from the pack 'n play.

Can you guess where I'm going with this?

During the visit, the Pookie figured out how to climb out of the crib. He put a leg over the top and used the footboard to pull himself out. He showed us himself how he did it.

The pack 'n play is so low that it wasn't a problem. But we were concerned about what would happen when we got home and he was in his tall crib.

The first night back, it was too late and I was too tired to figure anything out. So I just rocked him to sleep and put him in his crib as usually. He slept through the night, woke up and started playing in his crib. So I got up and went to wash up, leaving the monitor with Londo.

A little while later, Londo hurried into the bathroom to let me know he was going to get the Pookie. He said that he heard the Pookie over the monitor say, "I get down."

Londo rushed into the nursery to see the Pookie with one leg going over the crib rail. He put the Pookie's ankle back on the inside of the crib. And then got him out of the crib.

And that was the end of the crib.

We converted the crib into a toddler bed, and the Pookie's been transitioning. We've all been transitioning. It's not been easy.

The first night, he was up in the 2:00 hour. I tried to get him back to sleep for an hour and a half, and then I just brought him in bed with us. The Pumpkin was already there anyway. He woke up early, too.

Londo and I have never minded having the kids (and dog and cat) in our bed. It's the main reason we got a king-sized bed. But the rule is that anyone in our bed has to let the others sleep. The Pookie is still learning that rule.

But he is learning. When he wakes up early in the night, he's pretty good about falling back asleep with us. On top of me if the Pumpkin is cuddled next to me, because he's such a mama's boy he has to be close to me.

But when he wakes up at 5:00 or later, he is pretty much awake and trying to play with us or get us up. So I've been teaching him that if he's awake and wants to play, "Where do you go?" He now answers that with, "In my room." And I say, "Go on then." And? He does!

Overall, we've been up early a lot this past week and had some rough nights of sleep. We didn't think this transition would be easy, and boy were we right!

I'll end on a good note, though. Last night, the Pumpkin came in our room in the 2:00 hour, going right to sleep in between Londo and me, not even waking me. The Pookie toddled in our room right about 4:00. He climbed into bed easily enough, and he tried to get comfortable. But he could not get comfortable or settle down.

When he actually sat up and started to look around--for something to get into, no doubt--that's when I said, "Are you awake and want to play?" and after I asked about where he should go to play, he heads off to his room. I fell back asleep.

The other morning that he was up that early and playing in his room, every half hour he would come in to check in on me and see if I was ready to get up. It was disrupted sleep, but it was better then not sleeping at all.

I thought he would do that again. But instead of getting woken up a bunch of times, I woke up when my alarm went off at 6:30. I bolted out of bed, my first thought being what the heck had the boy been up to for the last 2 and a half hours!

I didn't hear anything, so I tiptoed down the hall. I didn't hear anything through the door, so I very quietly eased the door open.

I could barely believe my eyes. The Pookie was sleeping sweetly in his toddler bed, his Cars blanket pulled up around him. Asleep! Back in HIS OWN BED! Which he went to and got in by HIMSELF!

I didn't know kids really did that. And I certainly don't expect it to ever happen again. But it was pretty cool. Who knows what will happen tonight.

So now, every night before I go to sleep I ask myself, "I wonder which kid will come to bed with us first tonight?" It's a sweet thought and a neat place to be in our parenting.

Fidgety Baby Growing Up

My daughter was a very fidgety baby. More fidgety than any other baby I knew through all my years of babysitting, being an aunt and having friends and family with babies. So fidgety that I wondered if something was wrong, if there was an underlying reason for her fidgetiness.

There really wasn’t anything wrong. As far as I can tell, she simply has a LOT of energy in her body. Her father is the same way. Londo is full of energy and has always been a fidgeter. And me? I can’t sit in one position for a long period of time. I don’t really fidget so much as I shift positions periodically, and I don’t think I ever simply sit normal, facing forward with both feet on the ground when I’m in a chair. In fact, sitting normal sounds like torture to me.

But three years ago, when the Pumpkin was a few months old and through her babyhood, I didn’t know why she was fidgeting so much. When I would nurse her, when we’d be rocking her to sleep, when we would try to hold her calmly, when we’d be lying in bed with her to get her to sleep, she would flail her arms and legs, move her hands and fingers relentlessly, twist and twirl my hair, move constantly, constantly. Sometimes the movements were more flailing than fidgeting. Sometimes it was little but intense movements like twisting her fingers in my hair.

I wondered why and if it was normal. I googled, but found no real information that helped me, and no one else wrote about their baby fidgeting at the time. I asked the doctor, and pretty much came to the conclusion that some babies just fidget. The way that some kids, teenagers, adults, people just fidget.

Yet over the years, I’ve wondered. I’ve wondered about other people with fidgety babies, because thanks to the many, many hits to my site from search engines on the internet, I know that there have been a lot of other people searching about fidgety babies, just as I once did. And I think of all those other people and their fidgety babies, and I wonder if those babies are/were like my girl in other ways. I wonder if those kids continued fidgeting through toddlerhood, like my girl did. Did those kids have so so SO much trouble calming their bodies down to go to sleep or even just sit still, like my girl did/does? I wonder if those kids were later on the curve for developing self-soothing skills. I wonder if those kids were earlier on the curve for developing motor skills, gross and fine. I wonder if those other kids are as energetic and highly active as my pre-schooler.

There are some comments on my posts about my fidgety baby in which people have said that perhaps my child didn’t fidget they way theirs did, that it didn’t sound as severe or as constant or, I don’t know, as MUCH as their did. I believe she probably did, although I haven't seen these other peoples kids so I can't compare for sure. I totally understand the sentiment, the questioning. Like it says the Raising Your Spirited Child book that I often mention: sure most kids are energetic or all 2 or 3 year olds are stubborn persistent, but spirited kids are just MORE. And that’s what it is like with the fidgeting.

My boy, who is now 14 months old, also fidgets some. An average amount. An expected amount, I would even say. I might have once thought, “Gee, this baby sure can be fidgety.” But I would have just been slightly irritated during the worst of the fidgets, and moved on in my thinking. After having a truly Fidgety Baby, I know that his fidgeting is nothing. All babies fidget. But some fidget more. And some babies fidget WAY MORE!

So I wonder about those other kids, those other fidgety babies. Did they learn to crawl early, walk early, climb early? At age 18 months, did their parents move them into a big kid bed to try and make the bedtimes and nights easier? As 1 year olds, did they spent hours in and out of their beds, walking circles around their parents, as their parents fell asleep in their beds, as they kept walking, walking, climbing, climbing? At age 2, did their physical skills match those a year older than them, except the skills needed to sit still for any length of time? As a 2 year old, did they simply stop napping and have trouble even resting at nap time? At age 3, did they need excuses to get out of their chairs at meal times because they simply could not sit still for the whole meal? Are those children also spirited or simply high-energy kids?

Because my fidgety baby did all those things. My little, fidgety girl has great physical skills, and more energy than I thought possible in a human! My girl keeps moving and figuring out how to do things with her body that many kids a year or even two years older than her cannot do. At 4 or 5 months, she was crawling. At 10 or 11 months, she was walking. At 1 year, she was throwing and catching balls relatively accurately. At 18 months, she was sleeping (when we’d finally get her to sleep) in a big girl bed and coming into our room by herself when she’d wake up in the middle of the night, turning the knobs to the doors with ease and climbing into our bed with no problems. At 2 years, she was running and dribbling a soccer ball while she ran. At 3 years, she is already hitting balls off the t-ball set.

I think that all that fidgety energy drives her to do things with her body. She needs to channel that energy and activeness, and it’s up to us as her parents to find ways for her to do that. It’s also up to us to help her learn to calm her body down and to listen, through all the impulses, to the signals that her body is giving her. It’s not easy, for her or us. But the skills we help her learn to handle all her energy and impulses and plain fidgetiness will be so important for her to channel that drive into accomplishments as an older kid, a teen and an adult.

I don’t know if my daughter is a typical example of a child who was a Fidgety Baby. I don’t have any clue how other Fidgety Babies have developed. I wish I did, because I love to learn about development patterns in general, and I love to hear about other kids who might be similar in certain ways to my girl. But what I do know is how my daughter as developed and how amazing she is in so many ways.

My daughter went from being a Fidgety Baby to being a Highly-Active Toddler to being a High-Energy Pre-Schooler. And from here, we’ll see what kind of school kid, pre-teen, teenager and adult she will be. I have a feeling it will continue to be really fun to watch her grow!

Clumsy Toddling

A few months ago, the Pookie walked up to Londo with his little toddling steps, looked at him, roared like a lion and then... fell down. This is pretty typical for my little boy.

For months now, my son has really loved walking around everywhere. He loves to climb and run and do that arms-thrown-up-legs-going-from-bent-to-strait-not-really-jumping jump and try to keep up with his sister. He didn't start crawling or walking as early as his sister did, but he's definitely within the range of normal. And once he did start moving, he didn't want to stop.

The problem is, well, he is clumsy. It's also probably in the range of normal for a toddler, but Londo and I just aren't sure. In addition to being early with her gross motor skills, the Pumpkin also had natural balance and, I don't know, the opposite of being clumsy. And when she did fall, she would just laugh, get back up and keep going. She rarely actually got hurt, and we think she must have naturally braced herself with her hands and moved her body to absorb the falls better. Or something.

The Pookie, well he is a different person than his sister. He will be running or even walking and then fall down. Even when there is nothing to trip over or cause him to fall down that we can see. And he inevitably ends up with a cut or bruise, usually on his face. Right now, he has a big bruise between his eyes from sliding off the rocking glider and a cut on top of that bruise from falling somewhere else. Even though he was on his stomach on the glider and I thought he would be perfectly fine, he slid right off and banged his face on the wooden legs. And started crying his little heart out. The next day, he fell on something else and that black and blue bruise split into a cut.

It kills us when we are right. there. with him! Watching him, trying to ensure he is safe. And then... BAM! He's down, face first, crying and bleeding. I don't know if most toddlers are this clumsy. I don't know if this is a normal part of the learning curve. I don't know if it's something he'll grow out of or if he'll always be a little clumsy.

Luckily, he is getting better and better controlling his body. He's really stable now when he walks, he's getting much better at climbing, and he's tripping over less things. He still falls a bit and gets bruises and cuts (see earlier incident from glider and who-knows-what-else). But we are getting better and better and being okay with it. It's just part of who he is.

Sometimes, it's even funny. Like when we watch both kids run across the room. The Pumpkin takes off fast... the Pookie takes off right behind her... the Pumpkin makes it halfway across the room... the Pookie goes down with a THUMP! Londo and I just shake our heads and chuckle. I mean, what can you do? We keep looking at each other saying, at least he's adorable. Even with the bumps and bruises.