It's really amazing to me to watch these children of mine grow. Seeing the Pookie go through phases that his sister went through before him, reminds me of how far she's come. Which in turn, reminds me of how far the Pookie's come and where he still will go.
At 19 months old, the Pookie is really learning his words and how to tell us exactly what he wants. But when we don't understand or he can't have what he wants, he has a big meltdown. Just like the Pumpkin used to.
At almost 4, however, the Pumpkin starts to get SO upset when we tell her she can't have something, but then I hold up a finger and say, "Hey, hey, hey! Don't you want to hear why you can't do it?" And she stops freaking out, asks to hear why, and then usually understands the reason and is either okay with it or comes up with a compromise or something that works for us all.
Just yesterday morning, the Pumpkin said she wanted a juice box for her lunch. Fine. She's can have one cup of juice a day. I put one in her lunch bag. Then she got one out herself, and she was getting the straw out of it's plastic when I saw what she was doing. I was in the middle of washing some dishes and my hands were all soapy, so I was telling her no, but she was doing it anyway. As she put the straw to her lips, I went towards her, drippy soapy hands and all, saying, "I told you no!"
She said that she wanted a juice now. I said that we already put a juice in her lunch bag, and she was only allowed one juice a day. So she said, "Well, I just want the juice now, not for lunch." So I made sure she understood that meant she'd have water for lunch, and she said fine.
This thinking ahead, understanding limitations, working through the rules and how to get what she wants within the limitations of the rules... It's just amazing to me to watch. Instead of freaking out about wanting to watch a show in the family room, she now understands that if it's not on TV or On Demand, we have to watch it up in my room where it's recorded. Or maybe it's not recorded and she simply has to wait until it comes on later. She GETS it. She understands and doesn't freak out.
And it's really making life easier around here!
Even the Pookie is at an easier stage. He does still freak out when thwarted, but because he's able to say more and indicate more, it's much easier to get him what he is asking for, instead of him just screaming NO until we guess correctly.
The Pookie is also able to understand more complex directions. Instead of just "Give that toy to your sister," I can tell him, "That's your sister's toy, and this one is yours. Give your sister her toy, and you can play with yours." Of course, he doesn't always want to do it, but he does understand and he usually does it.
I'm just really amazed by my kids. I really enjoy watching them learn, grow, develop. I love that my daughter uses the bathroom all by herself in the early morning hours so I don't have to get out of bed. I love that my son gets his own bowl and spoon and box of cereal every morning (and randomly throughout the day, which is a little frustrating when it's almost dinner time and Londo's cooked a delicious meal, but that's a different post!). I especially love to watch them play together and work out their differences and start to understand each other on a new level.
This parenthood thing is definitely worth it.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Question of the Week - Car Games
The weekend before the sickness struck down my house like the plague, the Pumpkin and I had a special weekend together with my parents.
My parents just bought a house at the beach about 2.5 hours away. That weekend was my first chance to see it since they got it in November. January in Maryland is too cold to go to the actual beach, but I wanted to see the house and spend a weekend with my girl. So the Pumpkin and I took a little road trip!
We had a great weekend together and with my parents. The house is beautiful and very comfortable. It's a 5-10 minute drive from the beach. There are three guest rooms, each with two twin beds, plus a pull-out couch in the living room. They are making it kid friendly, with a big room they are calling The Rumpus Room.
Best of all? They have agreed that it will be a peanut-free house! As soon as I brought up the issue with my mom, she quickly assured me that it would have to be a peanut-free house so that we could relax there and bring the Pumpkin without worrying constantly for her safety. What a relief!
I am planning many many MANY trips out there this spring and summer! I'm planning to go as a family, bring one or both kids myself, go by myself, and spend a lot of time with my parents, sister's family and brother's family. Plus whichever friends of our families can go. I think the only person more excited about the beach house is my parents!
But this means a lot of 2.5-3.5 hour car trips coming up. That's not too long, but just long enough to start needing some entertaining car games. My favorite car game from growing up, which I still play with Londo or even by myself, is The Alphabet Game. That's when you look out the window of the car and get each letter from A to Z. The first one to find them all wins.
The Question of the Week is:
What car games do you and your kids like to play?
My daughter is too young for the alphabet game, so I started making up some others on our way back from the beach. We looked for colors outside, calling out where we see the color (green sign!), and we looked for shapes. We also guessed the animal by the animal noise we made.
But my favorite to play with her, and I'm pretty sure he favorite also, was Name That Song! I would whistle a song, and she would call out what it was. Then she would hum one, and I would call out the name. It turns out that my girl is REALLY good at guessing the songs! We've been playing this on other car rides since then, or at other times during the day.
What about you and your family? What did you play in the car growing up? What do you play with your kids on car trips now? What games are you waiting on until they are old enough to play with you? Or do you just sing along with the radio?
My parents just bought a house at the beach about 2.5 hours away. That weekend was my first chance to see it since they got it in November. January in Maryland is too cold to go to the actual beach, but I wanted to see the house and spend a weekend with my girl. So the Pumpkin and I took a little road trip!
We had a great weekend together and with my parents. The house is beautiful and very comfortable. It's a 5-10 minute drive from the beach. There are three guest rooms, each with two twin beds, plus a pull-out couch in the living room. They are making it kid friendly, with a big room they are calling The Rumpus Room.
Best of all? They have agreed that it will be a peanut-free house! As soon as I brought up the issue with my mom, she quickly assured me that it would have to be a peanut-free house so that we could relax there and bring the Pumpkin without worrying constantly for her safety. What a relief!
I am planning many many MANY trips out there this spring and summer! I'm planning to go as a family, bring one or both kids myself, go by myself, and spend a lot of time with my parents, sister's family and brother's family. Plus whichever friends of our families can go. I think the only person more excited about the beach house is my parents!
But this means a lot of 2.5-3.5 hour car trips coming up. That's not too long, but just long enough to start needing some entertaining car games. My favorite car game from growing up, which I still play with Londo or even by myself, is The Alphabet Game. That's when you look out the window of the car and get each letter from A to Z. The first one to find them all wins.
The Question of the Week is:
What car games do you and your kids like to play?
My daughter is too young for the alphabet game, so I started making up some others on our way back from the beach. We looked for colors outside, calling out where we see the color (green sign!), and we looked for shapes. We also guessed the animal by the animal noise we made.
But my favorite to play with her, and I'm pretty sure he favorite also, was Name That Song! I would whistle a song, and she would call out what it was. Then she would hum one, and I would call out the name. It turns out that my girl is REALLY good at guessing the songs! We've been playing this on other car rides since then, or at other times during the day.
What about you and your family? What did you play in the car growing up? What do you play with your kids on car trips now? What games are you waiting on until they are old enough to play with you? Or do you just sing along with the radio?
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Sickness and Sweetness
The flu knocked me flat on my butt last week. I haven't been that sick in a long, long time. Three or four days are a feverish blur of trying to care for the kids and sleeping. Another three days of still being really sick. And now I've developed bronchitis. Good times.
Over the last week plus, each member of my family has been sick to some degree. We also spent the week and both weekends watching a six-month-old puppy for a friend and added my parent's dog for the last weekend.
In other words, things have been C-R-A-Z-Y at my house!
But amongst all the sickness, there has been some moments of overwhelming sweetness. I'm going to try to capture it all.
-----------------------------
Sickness
It all started with a phone call from the kids' school on Friday afternoon saying the Pookie had thrown up and needed to be picked up.
Though he seemed a little better on Saturday morning (no more throwing up), he went down early for his nap and after four hours, we started to worry. I went in to check on him, and he was burning up and his nose was running like a leaky faucet. Poor guy looked miserable! Not only that, but when I changed his diaper, his bottom was bleeding. I got really worried, and then I noticed one of his fingers was really inflamed and swollen, with a pus-filed, crusty scab on the side of his nail. Definitely time to call the doctor on call.
In addition to those things, the doctor heard my boy's wheezy breath while I was on the phone with her. It didn't take long for her to say I needed to take him to the emergency room to get his breathing and finger checked, though she wasn't worried about his bottom.
That was the first trip to the emergency room with one of our kids. Londo stayed home with the Pumpkin, while I hurried the Pookie to the ER 5 minutes down the road. There was a pediatrics wing of the ER, and we were brought almost straight back.
My boy was a real trooper! Though feverish and miserable, he didn't fuss or cry while getting checked on. Not even when they poked a needle in his infected finger to drain the pus! Not even the first time they put him in some contraption to hold him still for a chest x-ray. We actually had to redo the x-ray, and that second time he did start wailing because I took his cracker away while he was in it. (To be honest, we all kind of wanted him to cry because it gets a better x-ray when they fill up their lungs for a big cry, and we didn't want to have to redo the x-ray another time.)
Luckily, his lungs were fine (and his little ribs in the x-ray were so cute!). But he did have the beginnings of an ear infection, a severe diaper rash, and an infection on his finger called a paronychia. After another dose of medication for his fever finally brought his temperature down, a dose and prescription for antibiotics and a prescription for antifungal cream for his bottom, we were discharged. At home, I got him a quick, late dinner, and put him straight to bed.
Sunday, he was still not feeling too well, but by Monday he was fine. His school was closed for MLK Day, but he was doing much much better. Tuesday, school was closed due to the snow and ice, but he was back at school Wednesday. He had a follow-up appointment with his pediatrician Thursday, and she said everything looked really good by then!
I'm sure I don't have to say how worried I was, taking him to the ER and all those things wrong with him. It broke my heart! I held him and cuddled him the whole time at the hospital (except during the x-ray). And I'm sure I don't have to say how relieved Londo and I were when he bounced back so quickly!
Sweetness
Because Londo picked up the Pookie early from school on Friday, I picked up the Pumpkin at her normal time. She has just gotten used to the Pookie being at her school and the new drop off and pick up routines (he started the first week of January). And that day was the first time he wasn't part of the normal pick up.
When I explained to her that the Pookie had thrown up and was home with Daddy because he was sick, she got really upset. She started tearing up, and said, "I'm very worried about him! I'm crying because my brother is sick! I need to go home and check on him!" I carried her to the car, assuring her we would check on him as soon as we got home.
Sweetness
As I was grabbing a couple diapers and a cup of water to take with us to the hospital, I asked Londo if I should bring anything else? Was there any comfort item that he might want with him? And Londo responded, "Just you. You are his comfort item." And it's true.
Sickness
I was the next one to get sick. Sunday morning, I started to feel run down. By afternoon, I was feverish, with body chills, shaking, delirious, foggy, unable to stay awake or think clearly. There was also a runny nose, coughing, post-nasal drip and my body ached like I'd been hit by a truck. I was a mess.
I spent the next few days in and out of that foggy haze of a fever, most of the time sleeping under piles and piles of blankets. I barely ate, barely spent any time with the kids or dogs, no time with Londo, didn't get to all the cleaning I had to do, and certainly didn't work more than an hour or two here or there. For the whole week, I was out from work, and watching the kids and dogs fell to Londo for the majority of the time.
Finally, my fever broke on Wednesday morning. I even took the Pookie to school, though I think that caused a bit of a relapse. I got myself to the doctor on Thursday afternoon, and he said it sounded like I'd had the flu and post-nasal drip. And he said that I now had bronchitis. Which apparently doesn't go away in a day or two.
So I'm still coughing and a bit congested. I'm taking cough suppressants and cough drops. I'm back at work and crazy busy, but trying to at least be still as much as possible. It's when I move much that the hacking starts up again.
Sweetness
Sunday afternoon, while the Pookie napped, Londo brought the Pumpkin into our room. She got up on the bed with me, and we put on a show for her to watch. Londo said, "I need to go to the grocery store. You take care of Mommy while she naps, because she's sick and needs you to take care of her."
And she did. She rubbed my back, made sure I was covered and cuddled next to me while I dozed in and out of consciousness. She was very proud of being able to take care of me while I was sick.
Sickness
Next, the flu struck the Pumpkin. She started getting a little sick over the weekend, but by Monday she was getting bad. She had the same symptoms I had, and her fever got pretty bad by Wednesday or so. She stayed home the rest of the week, with Londo and me taking turns watching her.
I had the Pookie's follow-up appointment on Thursday morning, and I called Wednesday afternoon saying I wanted to bring in the Pumpkin, too. Though the Pookie was looking good, the Pumpkin was not. The pediatrician was worried about her breathing, so she gave my girl a breathing treatment right there and then listened to her chest again afterwards. The concern was that what the pediatrician was hearing was pneumonia, so it was important that she do the treatment and let the doctor listen again. Luckily, the breathing treatment cleared her right up and the doctor was able to be sure it wasn't pneumonia.
The Pumpkin did not like having to do the breathing treatment, but she is fortunately at an age where she can be reasoned with and still be distracted. We got through those long minutes by my making up a story for her about a flying horse and a dragon and a princess, one of the Princess Pumpkin stories I make up for her.
The good news (besides clear lungs for her) was that her throat looked fine AND HER EARS LOOKED FINE!!! I am sure that she would have had an ear infection from this congestion if she hadn't had the adenoid removal surgery. She got ear infections every other time she had congestion even half this bad!
The bad news was that her fever persisted. Londo called me a little while ago and said he thinks it finally broke, and I sure hope so. She's been miserable--lethargic during the day, coughing all night, fussy and clingy. She's fallen asleep almost every day of the last week, my girl who doesn't nap! She's been going to bed in our room before dinner, barely eating anything.
The doctor said the fever might last another 5-10 days from the appointment last Thursday. So even though we've been worried, we've also not been freaking out. Plus, she really does exactly the symptoms I had, just for longer. Which doesn't surprise me. My girl does everything to the extreme!
Sweetness
When the nurse first put the breathing mask on the Pumpkin's face, she was crying a bit and saying she didn't want to do it. She tried to pull it off, but the nurse and then I held it on until she could adjust to it and be distracted by my story.
Well, the Pookie watched all this, and he got really upset. He climbed up to his sister in her chair and tried to rip the mask off her face for her, kind of hollering while he grabbed at it. If he had a full vocabularly, I'm sure he would have sound like, "Get that off my sister! She doesn't like it! Don't do that to her!"
Though I had to keep him from pulling it off of her, keep holding it on her, distract her with a story and try to keep him occupied by something else, my heart melted at his protectiveness over his sister and what was upsetting her. Once she calmed down and even held the mask herself, he calmed down about it too.
Sickness
And this whole time, Londo has been struggling with sickness as well. He hasn't had it as bad as the Pumpkin or me, but he has been pretty sick and very run down. But that hasn't stopped him from taking care of me, the kids, the dogs, work, the house and goodness knows what else! I so badly want to be better and have enough energy to tell him to take a few days for just himself, doing whatever he wants. I'm just not sure I'll be able to for a while.
Sweetness
Londo had been planning a game night with some friends he works with. He had been looking forward to it for weeks. He cleaned up the basement so it's usable again (instead of a storage overflow in the living area of the basement). He scheduled a babysitter for the evening. He invited his friends. He planned out the games and the food and drinks. He said looking forward to that night was the only thing keeping him going through some of the times lately.
The game night was to be last Saturday, and we had some concerns that it would happen, what with all the sickness and dogs in the house. I'm happy to say that we pulled it off! Although the Pumpkin was still sick, I was almost myself by Saturday afternoon. I was even able to help cleaning and setting up! I also put the Pookie to bed while the babysitter put the Pumpkin to bed. And I even stayed up until 11:30 playing games, even though I was still feeling so run down and exhausted.
We had a lot of fun, and Londo felt so much better having a real night of fun with adult friends. It makes us realize that we will be able to do more and more entertaining and spending time with adults as the kids continue to get older.
And sometimes, the sweetest thing of all is feeling like you not only get through the tough times but also enjoy those times as well.
Over the last week plus, each member of my family has been sick to some degree. We also spent the week and both weekends watching a six-month-old puppy for a friend and added my parent's dog for the last weekend.
In other words, things have been C-R-A-Z-Y at my house!
But amongst all the sickness, there has been some moments of overwhelming sweetness. I'm going to try to capture it all.
-----------------------------
Sickness
It all started with a phone call from the kids' school on Friday afternoon saying the Pookie had thrown up and needed to be picked up.
Though he seemed a little better on Saturday morning (no more throwing up), he went down early for his nap and after four hours, we started to worry. I went in to check on him, and he was burning up and his nose was running like a leaky faucet. Poor guy looked miserable! Not only that, but when I changed his diaper, his bottom was bleeding. I got really worried, and then I noticed one of his fingers was really inflamed and swollen, with a pus-filed, crusty scab on the side of his nail. Definitely time to call the doctor on call.
In addition to those things, the doctor heard my boy's wheezy breath while I was on the phone with her. It didn't take long for her to say I needed to take him to the emergency room to get his breathing and finger checked, though she wasn't worried about his bottom.
That was the first trip to the emergency room with one of our kids. Londo stayed home with the Pumpkin, while I hurried the Pookie to the ER 5 minutes down the road. There was a pediatrics wing of the ER, and we were brought almost straight back.
My boy was a real trooper! Though feverish and miserable, he didn't fuss or cry while getting checked on. Not even when they poked a needle in his infected finger to drain the pus! Not even the first time they put him in some contraption to hold him still for a chest x-ray. We actually had to redo the x-ray, and that second time he did start wailing because I took his cracker away while he was in it. (To be honest, we all kind of wanted him to cry because it gets a better x-ray when they fill up their lungs for a big cry, and we didn't want to have to redo the x-ray another time.)
Luckily, his lungs were fine (and his little ribs in the x-ray were so cute!). But he did have the beginnings of an ear infection, a severe diaper rash, and an infection on his finger called a paronychia. After another dose of medication for his fever finally brought his temperature down, a dose and prescription for antibiotics and a prescription for antifungal cream for his bottom, we were discharged. At home, I got him a quick, late dinner, and put him straight to bed.
Sunday, he was still not feeling too well, but by Monday he was fine. His school was closed for MLK Day, but he was doing much much better. Tuesday, school was closed due to the snow and ice, but he was back at school Wednesday. He had a follow-up appointment with his pediatrician Thursday, and she said everything looked really good by then!
I'm sure I don't have to say how worried I was, taking him to the ER and all those things wrong with him. It broke my heart! I held him and cuddled him the whole time at the hospital (except during the x-ray). And I'm sure I don't have to say how relieved Londo and I were when he bounced back so quickly!
Sweetness
Because Londo picked up the Pookie early from school on Friday, I picked up the Pumpkin at her normal time. She has just gotten used to the Pookie being at her school and the new drop off and pick up routines (he started the first week of January). And that day was the first time he wasn't part of the normal pick up.
When I explained to her that the Pookie had thrown up and was home with Daddy because he was sick, she got really upset. She started tearing up, and said, "I'm very worried about him! I'm crying because my brother is sick! I need to go home and check on him!" I carried her to the car, assuring her we would check on him as soon as we got home.
Sweetness
As I was grabbing a couple diapers and a cup of water to take with us to the hospital, I asked Londo if I should bring anything else? Was there any comfort item that he might want with him? And Londo responded, "Just you. You are his comfort item." And it's true.
Sickness
I was the next one to get sick. Sunday morning, I started to feel run down. By afternoon, I was feverish, with body chills, shaking, delirious, foggy, unable to stay awake or think clearly. There was also a runny nose, coughing, post-nasal drip and my body ached like I'd been hit by a truck. I was a mess.
I spent the next few days in and out of that foggy haze of a fever, most of the time sleeping under piles and piles of blankets. I barely ate, barely spent any time with the kids or dogs, no time with Londo, didn't get to all the cleaning I had to do, and certainly didn't work more than an hour or two here or there. For the whole week, I was out from work, and watching the kids and dogs fell to Londo for the majority of the time.
Finally, my fever broke on Wednesday morning. I even took the Pookie to school, though I think that caused a bit of a relapse. I got myself to the doctor on Thursday afternoon, and he said it sounded like I'd had the flu and post-nasal drip. And he said that I now had bronchitis. Which apparently doesn't go away in a day or two.
So I'm still coughing and a bit congested. I'm taking cough suppressants and cough drops. I'm back at work and crazy busy, but trying to at least be still as much as possible. It's when I move much that the hacking starts up again.
Sweetness
Sunday afternoon, while the Pookie napped, Londo brought the Pumpkin into our room. She got up on the bed with me, and we put on a show for her to watch. Londo said, "I need to go to the grocery store. You take care of Mommy while she naps, because she's sick and needs you to take care of her."
And she did. She rubbed my back, made sure I was covered and cuddled next to me while I dozed in and out of consciousness. She was very proud of being able to take care of me while I was sick.
Sickness
Next, the flu struck the Pumpkin. She started getting a little sick over the weekend, but by Monday she was getting bad. She had the same symptoms I had, and her fever got pretty bad by Wednesday or so. She stayed home the rest of the week, with Londo and me taking turns watching her.
I had the Pookie's follow-up appointment on Thursday morning, and I called Wednesday afternoon saying I wanted to bring in the Pumpkin, too. Though the Pookie was looking good, the Pumpkin was not. The pediatrician was worried about her breathing, so she gave my girl a breathing treatment right there and then listened to her chest again afterwards. The concern was that what the pediatrician was hearing was pneumonia, so it was important that she do the treatment and let the doctor listen again. Luckily, the breathing treatment cleared her right up and the doctor was able to be sure it wasn't pneumonia.
The Pumpkin did not like having to do the breathing treatment, but she is fortunately at an age where she can be reasoned with and still be distracted. We got through those long minutes by my making up a story for her about a flying horse and a dragon and a princess, one of the Princess Pumpkin stories I make up for her.
The good news (besides clear lungs for her) was that her throat looked fine AND HER EARS LOOKED FINE!!! I am sure that she would have had an ear infection from this congestion if she hadn't had the adenoid removal surgery. She got ear infections every other time she had congestion even half this bad!
The bad news was that her fever persisted. Londo called me a little while ago and said he thinks it finally broke, and I sure hope so. She's been miserable--lethargic during the day, coughing all night, fussy and clingy. She's fallen asleep almost every day of the last week, my girl who doesn't nap! She's been going to bed in our room before dinner, barely eating anything.
The doctor said the fever might last another 5-10 days from the appointment last Thursday. So even though we've been worried, we've also not been freaking out. Plus, she really does exactly the symptoms I had, just for longer. Which doesn't surprise me. My girl does everything to the extreme!
Sweetness
When the nurse first put the breathing mask on the Pumpkin's face, she was crying a bit and saying she didn't want to do it. She tried to pull it off, but the nurse and then I held it on until she could adjust to it and be distracted by my story.
Well, the Pookie watched all this, and he got really upset. He climbed up to his sister in her chair and tried to rip the mask off her face for her, kind of hollering while he grabbed at it. If he had a full vocabularly, I'm sure he would have sound like, "Get that off my sister! She doesn't like it! Don't do that to her!"
Though I had to keep him from pulling it off of her, keep holding it on her, distract her with a story and try to keep him occupied by something else, my heart melted at his protectiveness over his sister and what was upsetting her. Once she calmed down and even held the mask herself, he calmed down about it too.
Sickness
And this whole time, Londo has been struggling with sickness as well. He hasn't had it as bad as the Pumpkin or me, but he has been pretty sick and very run down. But that hasn't stopped him from taking care of me, the kids, the dogs, work, the house and goodness knows what else! I so badly want to be better and have enough energy to tell him to take a few days for just himself, doing whatever he wants. I'm just not sure I'll be able to for a while.
Sweetness
Londo had been planning a game night with some friends he works with. He had been looking forward to it for weeks. He cleaned up the basement so it's usable again (instead of a storage overflow in the living area of the basement). He scheduled a babysitter for the evening. He invited his friends. He planned out the games and the food and drinks. He said looking forward to that night was the only thing keeping him going through some of the times lately.
The game night was to be last Saturday, and we had some concerns that it would happen, what with all the sickness and dogs in the house. I'm happy to say that we pulled it off! Although the Pumpkin was still sick, I was almost myself by Saturday afternoon. I was even able to help cleaning and setting up! I also put the Pookie to bed while the babysitter put the Pumpkin to bed. And I even stayed up until 11:30 playing games, even though I was still feeling so run down and exhausted.
We had a lot of fun, and Londo felt so much better having a real night of fun with adult friends. It makes us realize that we will be able to do more and more entertaining and spending time with adults as the kids continue to get older.
And sometimes, the sweetest thing of all is feeling like you not only get through the tough times but also enjoy those times as well.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Parenting with SAD, Part 3: Conception, Miscarriage and Pregnancy
Once Londo and I were ready to start a family, I really had to think in depth about my disorder and how it would affect my parenting and my kids. I still wasn’t able to find much about how SAD affects parenting, but I did research into recurring depression. Turns out, women who suffer from depression are at a higher risk for postpartum depression (PPD). Londo and I thought it would be better if we had a baby in the late spring or summer for the PPD reason, and also because I was worried about having the energy every fall or winter to plan and deal with birthday parties.
Unfortunately, we had fertility issues, and at a certain point with those issues you have to give up trying to time an ideal birthday and simply do whatever you can to get pregnant. It was really hard to give that up. Adding to the heartbreak of infertility, we had to come to terms with the fact that if we did get pregnant, we might have a baby at a really rough time for us, making things extra hard. But though it was difficult, we did our best to make peace with it and began fertility treatments.
When we finally did get pregnant, we found out in December and the due date was September 3rd, so we started to mentally prepare ourselves for a very tough winter the following year with a newborn. Unfortunately, that baby was not meant to be, and the tough winter was right then.
It’s an understatement to say that dealing with a miscarriage in January was difficult and emotionally rough. A miscarriage in and of itself is (or can be) devastating, especially after trying for so long already. Add to that the chemical issues that normally have me exhausted and depressed, and well, it wasn’t pretty. It was not a hard decision for us to decide to take a cruise in early March down in the Caribbean, both to ease the pain of the lost baby and to get me more sunlight.
My next pregnancy, the one that resulted in my awesome and beautiful Pumpkin girl, started in June. I thought this would be a good thing, but the exhaustion of the first trimester is very much like the exhaustion I feel in winters. So instead of having half a year or so of energy, I had almost a full year of close to overwhelming exhaustion. I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t have easy pregnancies anyway, but I definitely found it rough that entire 41.5 weeks.
Surprisingly, my third trimester in January and February was not as bad as we thought it would be. I made sure I had enough time to do my light therapy, Londo saw to my comforts and my dad drove me to and from work (which was close to his office at the time). My work was incredibly busy and stressful, but I was able to work from home 2-3 days a week, and full time in the 2 weeks prior to my due date and until I went into labor. I was disappointed that I didn’t have the energy and time to do all the nesting that my instincts were screaming for, but we got enough done to be ready for a new baby.
The Pumpkin’s due date was early March. I was concerned about my lack of energy becoming an issue during labor and delivery, so we lined up a duola. Although I knew Londo would be an excellent couch, I figured a duola could provide additional help and might have ways to help me through rough patches. I believe that it really did help having the duola there, even though I ended up with a C-section. And I feel very confident that the C-section had nothing to do with the Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Overall, that pregnancy was manageable, though difficult.
But being pregnant while having a toddler during the winter? That was the hardest time period in my life.
The Pumpkin has always been a spirited, active little girl who needs a lot of attention and interaction. In the winters, I become more introverted, needing to decrease my interactions with others and needing to have a certain amount of time to myself. In addition, I need time to do my light therapy, which again is too strong of a light to have in front of the little, developing eyes of toddlers and I have to sit still in front of instead of running around after a kiddo.
In winters prior to having kids, Londo had not only helped take care of some of my basic needs, but he also took over pretty much all of the pets’ care and the majority of the household chores. After having the Pumpkin, Londo had to also take over the majority of her care as well. On top of all that, I was having a rough pregnancy and becoming more and more depressed, even though I was doing lots of light therapy and had even started medication.
Depression during pregnancy was no fun. When I started losing weight in my second trimester, was barely making it into work, and was resenting the time I spent in front of my light instead of with my toddler who was having fun with her daddy, I knew it was time to make a change. I talked with my doctor and decided to up my medication dosage, and I made some additional changes to help me and Londo get through that winter. It was hard to admit that my depression was out of my control and that I needed more help. But at a certain point, I just had to bite the bullet and admit I couldn't manage on my own, especially when the health and well-being of my toddler and the baby in my belly was at risk.
But thanks to help from family, special considerations from work, and upped medication and light therapy, we made it through that winter! The Pookie was born healthy and happy (though again through a C-section after a failed attempt at a VBAC) in June.
Perhaps other people with Seasonal Affective Disorder have had easier pregnancies. Perhaps they were able to conceive with no problems, deliver at an ideal time, don't have miscarriages in the depths of winter. Perhaps the glow of pregnancy kept them warm and happy all winter long, the crazy pregnancy hormones providing energy and happiness through the short days and long nights. I hope that is the case for others, but it simply was not the case for me.
So yes, trying to conceive, the miscarriage and the pregnancies were tough for me. But the biggest upside to this condition is that I (and my family and friends) know that things will get better in the spring. Of course, the biggest downside is that I (we) have to deal with it every fall through winter. Those of us with SAD have to continue on with our lives and manage the disorder through the tough times. We can't stop planning our futures, our families, our lives because half of the year is a tough time for us. It's just about figuring how to get through the tough times, managing our health, and forging ahead, knowing that things will get easier over time.
And isn't that the case with just about everything difficult in life?
Unfortunately, we had fertility issues, and at a certain point with those issues you have to give up trying to time an ideal birthday and simply do whatever you can to get pregnant. It was really hard to give that up. Adding to the heartbreak of infertility, we had to come to terms with the fact that if we did get pregnant, we might have a baby at a really rough time for us, making things extra hard. But though it was difficult, we did our best to make peace with it and began fertility treatments.
When we finally did get pregnant, we found out in December and the due date was September 3rd, so we started to mentally prepare ourselves for a very tough winter the following year with a newborn. Unfortunately, that baby was not meant to be, and the tough winter was right then.
It’s an understatement to say that dealing with a miscarriage in January was difficult and emotionally rough. A miscarriage in and of itself is (or can be) devastating, especially after trying for so long already. Add to that the chemical issues that normally have me exhausted and depressed, and well, it wasn’t pretty. It was not a hard decision for us to decide to take a cruise in early March down in the Caribbean, both to ease the pain of the lost baby and to get me more sunlight.
My next pregnancy, the one that resulted in my awesome and beautiful Pumpkin girl, started in June. I thought this would be a good thing, but the exhaustion of the first trimester is very much like the exhaustion I feel in winters. So instead of having half a year or so of energy, I had almost a full year of close to overwhelming exhaustion. I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t have easy pregnancies anyway, but I definitely found it rough that entire 41.5 weeks.
Surprisingly, my third trimester in January and February was not as bad as we thought it would be. I made sure I had enough time to do my light therapy, Londo saw to my comforts and my dad drove me to and from work (which was close to his office at the time). My work was incredibly busy and stressful, but I was able to work from home 2-3 days a week, and full time in the 2 weeks prior to my due date and until I went into labor. I was disappointed that I didn’t have the energy and time to do all the nesting that my instincts were screaming for, but we got enough done to be ready for a new baby.
The Pumpkin’s due date was early March. I was concerned about my lack of energy becoming an issue during labor and delivery, so we lined up a duola. Although I knew Londo would be an excellent couch, I figured a duola could provide additional help and might have ways to help me through rough patches. I believe that it really did help having the duola there, even though I ended up with a C-section. And I feel very confident that the C-section had nothing to do with the Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Overall, that pregnancy was manageable, though difficult.
But being pregnant while having a toddler during the winter? That was the hardest time period in my life.
The Pumpkin has always been a spirited, active little girl who needs a lot of attention and interaction. In the winters, I become more introverted, needing to decrease my interactions with others and needing to have a certain amount of time to myself. In addition, I need time to do my light therapy, which again is too strong of a light to have in front of the little, developing eyes of toddlers and I have to sit still in front of instead of running around after a kiddo.
In winters prior to having kids, Londo had not only helped take care of some of my basic needs, but he also took over pretty much all of the pets’ care and the majority of the household chores. After having the Pumpkin, Londo had to also take over the majority of her care as well. On top of all that, I was having a rough pregnancy and becoming more and more depressed, even though I was doing lots of light therapy and had even started medication.
Depression during pregnancy was no fun. When I started losing weight in my second trimester, was barely making it into work, and was resenting the time I spent in front of my light instead of with my toddler who was having fun with her daddy, I knew it was time to make a change. I talked with my doctor and decided to up my medication dosage, and I made some additional changes to help me and Londo get through that winter. It was hard to admit that my depression was out of my control and that I needed more help. But at a certain point, I just had to bite the bullet and admit I couldn't manage on my own, especially when the health and well-being of my toddler and the baby in my belly was at risk.
But thanks to help from family, special considerations from work, and upped medication and light therapy, we made it through that winter! The Pookie was born healthy and happy (though again through a C-section after a failed attempt at a VBAC) in June.
Perhaps other people with Seasonal Affective Disorder have had easier pregnancies. Perhaps they were able to conceive with no problems, deliver at an ideal time, don't have miscarriages in the depths of winter. Perhaps the glow of pregnancy kept them warm and happy all winter long, the crazy pregnancy hormones providing energy and happiness through the short days and long nights. I hope that is the case for others, but it simply was not the case for me.
So yes, trying to conceive, the miscarriage and the pregnancies were tough for me. But the biggest upside to this condition is that I (and my family and friends) know that things will get better in the spring. Of course, the biggest downside is that I (we) have to deal with it every fall through winter. Those of us with SAD have to continue on with our lives and manage the disorder through the tough times. We can't stop planning our futures, our families, our lives because half of the year is a tough time for us. It's just about figuring how to get through the tough times, managing our health, and forging ahead, knowing that things will get easier over time.
And isn't that the case with just about everything difficult in life?
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Fun Family Shorts
Now that 2010 has closed, I thought I would write some snippets about what fun we've been having together as a family of four over the last year, especially recently. My daughter is 3.75 years old, and my son is 18 months old. Londo and I are really enjoying these ages--despite the frustrations of Three and the whining of 18 Months. We are a fun, silly family and that's what's making life so good right now.
------------------------------
The other day, the Pumpkin told me that she and her brother were having pretend names. The Pookie was "Midnight," and she was "Kookie." She asked what my name was going to be, and then named me "Boopie." Unfortunately, when she said it, it sounded either like boobie or poopie, so I told her I wanted to be "Strawberry."
Then she asked Londo what his pretend name was. He said, "You may call me... Tim." I got a good chuckle out of that.
And then the game began. "Tim" sat on the couch, and any time one of us would get close, he would grab us and hold us. We would call for the others to come save us. It was so funny to hear my daughter call out, "Strawberry, we've got to save Midnight!" And save him we did.
And this game? We pretty much play many variations of it all the time.
------------------------------
We were down at my inlaws for Christmas. We had a great time, and got to spend a lot of time with each other and my husband's family.
One day as we were all playing in the game room, the Pumpkin said we were going to go to a bird show. So we gave tickets and pretended to learn about and feed the birds. Then for some reason, Londo said he was a penguin. So he started walking around in a penguin waddle with his arms down at his side but his hands sticking out. If you've seen the Diego where he shows how to waddle like a penguin, you know what I'm talking about.
So then, the Pumpkin started waddling like a penguin, and they were both waddling around saying "waddle, waddle, waddle" and pretending to eat fish and giving penguin hugs.
Of course I jumped into the new game, and started waddling. The Pookie had been watching and laughing, but he is always quick to join in, too. So he did his best to imitate the waddling, and we all walked around in circles as a penguin family. It was really cute.
------------------------------
When I was a kid, my family used to play a game we called "Stack 'Em Up." My dad would lie on the ground and call out "stack 'em up!" My brother, the oldest kid, would lie down on my dad. Then my sister, the middle child, would lie down on my brother. And then I, the youngest, would climb on and lie down on the top. My mom would watch (and I now suspect she also tried to make sure no one got hurt) and laugh. We'd all laugh. Though simple, it was a really fun game.
So of course I've started the same game at my house! Before the Pookie could play, Londo would lie down, I would lie on him and the Pumpkin would climb on top of me. Now, either Londo or I lie down, then the Pumpkin and then the Pookie climbs on top (while the other parent makes sure the Pookie doesn't fall). I can foresee the time when the Pookie is able that we will all be part of the stack!
We've got variations, too. Although it's supposed to go from largest on the bottom to smallest on the top for obvious reasons, occasionally we mix it up a bit, being very careful of smaller people below us. Also sometimes just the Pumpkin and the Pookie will play, and that's really cute.
I recently told my siblings and parents that we've carried on the tradition of playing this game, and my SIL said that my brother's family plays a similar game but they call it making a sandwich!
------------------------------
One of the games the Pumpkin got for Christmas is called Elefun. It's this toy elephant with a very long tube of a nose. You put "butterflies" in the elephant, turn it on and it blows them out the nose. You use nets to catch the butterflies as they are shot out the nose, which is taller than me (but I am short)!
So the other morning, the Pumpkin wanted to play for the first time while the Pookie was around. I thought it was safe enough, so I got it out, handed both kids a net, and started it up. As we were laughing and cheering for each other, Londo joined in too!
I was so excited and happy to have the whole family play what is basically a game in the board game category! I have always wanted to have a Family Game Night once a week or every other week. We are close to being able to have that now, and that makes me happy.
A family that plays together, stays together, right?
------------------------------
The other day, the Pumpkin told me that she and her brother were having pretend names. The Pookie was "Midnight," and she was "Kookie." She asked what my name was going to be, and then named me "Boopie." Unfortunately, when she said it, it sounded either like boobie or poopie, so I told her I wanted to be "Strawberry."
Then she asked Londo what his pretend name was. He said, "You may call me... Tim." I got a good chuckle out of that.
And then the game began. "Tim" sat on the couch, and any time one of us would get close, he would grab us and hold us. We would call for the others to come save us. It was so funny to hear my daughter call out, "Strawberry, we've got to save Midnight!" And save him we did.
And this game? We pretty much play many variations of it all the time.
------------------------------
We were down at my inlaws for Christmas. We had a great time, and got to spend a lot of time with each other and my husband's family.
One day as we were all playing in the game room, the Pumpkin said we were going to go to a bird show. So we gave tickets and pretended to learn about and feed the birds. Then for some reason, Londo said he was a penguin. So he started walking around in a penguin waddle with his arms down at his side but his hands sticking out. If you've seen the Diego where he shows how to waddle like a penguin, you know what I'm talking about.
So then, the Pumpkin started waddling like a penguin, and they were both waddling around saying "waddle, waddle, waddle" and pretending to eat fish and giving penguin hugs.
Of course I jumped into the new game, and started waddling. The Pookie had been watching and laughing, but he is always quick to join in, too. So he did his best to imitate the waddling, and we all walked around in circles as a penguin family. It was really cute.
------------------------------
When I was a kid, my family used to play a game we called "Stack 'Em Up." My dad would lie on the ground and call out "stack 'em up!" My brother, the oldest kid, would lie down on my dad. Then my sister, the middle child, would lie down on my brother. And then I, the youngest, would climb on and lie down on the top. My mom would watch (and I now suspect she also tried to make sure no one got hurt) and laugh. We'd all laugh. Though simple, it was a really fun game.
So of course I've started the same game at my house! Before the Pookie could play, Londo would lie down, I would lie on him and the Pumpkin would climb on top of me. Now, either Londo or I lie down, then the Pumpkin and then the Pookie climbs on top (while the other parent makes sure the Pookie doesn't fall). I can foresee the time when the Pookie is able that we will all be part of the stack!
We've got variations, too. Although it's supposed to go from largest on the bottom to smallest on the top for obvious reasons, occasionally we mix it up a bit, being very careful of smaller people below us. Also sometimes just the Pumpkin and the Pookie will play, and that's really cute.
I recently told my siblings and parents that we've carried on the tradition of playing this game, and my SIL said that my brother's family plays a similar game but they call it making a sandwich!
------------------------------
One of the games the Pumpkin got for Christmas is called Elefun. It's this toy elephant with a very long tube of a nose. You put "butterflies" in the elephant, turn it on and it blows them out the nose. You use nets to catch the butterflies as they are shot out the nose, which is taller than me (but I am short)!
So the other morning, the Pumpkin wanted to play for the first time while the Pookie was around. I thought it was safe enough, so I got it out, handed both kids a net, and started it up. As we were laughing and cheering for each other, Londo joined in too!
I was so excited and happy to have the whole family play what is basically a game in the board game category! I have always wanted to have a Family Game Night once a week or every other week. We are close to being able to have that now, and that makes me happy.
A family that plays together, stays together, right?
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