Over the Fence

Yesterday, I got home from work after the kids had finished dinner. I walked inside to an empty house, but realized instantly that Londo was outside with the kiddos. I changed into a pair of flip flops and hurried outside. I took the Pookie and pretended to have a picnic with the Pumpkin, while she ran around collecting "special treats" and flowers and things for the picnic. It was a lovely evening, and we were all enjoying our backyard.

Just before Easter, I found out that a girl in the Pumpkin's pre-school class lives diagonally behind us. As in, the corners of our backyard fences touch. We have tall fences in our neighborhood, but they live up the hill and even have a lovely deck overlooking their backyard.

I had known for a while that they lived in our neighborhood and that their younger daughter was a month older than the Pookie. I have been meaning to set up a playdate with them, especially since realizing how close they live, but things have busy lately for everyone. But with the weather so nice, I definitely would love to have people in the neighborhood to do things with, especially people with kids our kids' ages.

So yesterday while we were outside in our backyard, we suddenly hear a little girl's voice calling out our daughter's name. I look up, and sure enough it's C on her deck calling down to my girl. I explain to the Pumpkin that that is C's house and point out where she is on her deck. The Pumpkin immediatly and happily calls back a greeting while waving.

C's mom came out on the deck, and we greeted each other and asked after the families. I said that we really should do a playdate soon, and she agreed. Meanwhile, the girls are still calling to each other. The Pumpkin asked C if she wanted a cucumber, and she replied yes. So the Pumpkin ran to the corner of the yard and pretended to hand up a pretend cucumber, though she was no where near C. C pretended to take it and thanked her. That happened another time or two, until C's parents finally got her back inside to finish dinner and the Pumpkin moved on to other things.

It was just so adorable. It reminded me of my best friend growing up who lived in the house behind my house. We were always climbing over the relatively low fence to go play with each other. In fact, our parents put a big stone on one side of where we climbed over to help us get over more easily. We used to shine flashlights into each other's rooms at night. We would leave each other notes in certain trees when the other wasn't home. We treated each others' yards as extensions of our own. Until they moved away, I was as close to her as I was my own sister.*

The Pumpkin and C are both very outgoing and friendly girls, with baby siblings the same age. They seem to get along pretty well at school. I am on the same schedule as the dad, so I see him all the time at school and we chat about the kids. The parents seem very nice, and I am planning to see if they are available on Sunday to come over and play. I am not at all going to force a friendship, but I want my kids to have the opportunity to become friends with kids in the neighborhood, to have buddies to go outside and play with, to have friends to go to the pool with, to have the experience of growing up in a nice, kid-friendly neighborhood. At this age, I know it's up to me to show her the possibilities.

*We've been in and out of contact over the years. Recently, I found her sister on Facebook and got her phone number, but I haven't yet called her. Maybe I will this weekend.

Becoming, Age Three

Now that she is
outside my womb
my arms
my house
she is becoming
her own person.

She is picking up
toys
words
ideas
from other people
places
environments.

Now that she is
older
wiser
bigger
taller
stronger
she is more capable
more sure of herself.

She is developing
her own humor
phrases
games
skills
interests
that in some ways
mimic my own
my husband's
but also others'
but also no one's.

Now that she is
three,
she is becoming
a little kid
a big sister
a little person
a big girl
her own self
doing things
by herself
on her own;
as she says:
by her own.

DC Area May Meet Up

It's been too long, my friends, since we got together. I feel very bad that I haven't organized anything since... I can't even remember when... last fall?

But it's spring now, the snow is gone, the sun is out and the weather has generally been nice. So let's all get together in early May.

-I'm going to put up a poll on the right side of my blog for you all to select which day of the first 3 weekends in May is good for you.
-I'm thinking we should go to the Playseum in Bethesda. I've heard great things but not gotten there myself yet. What do you guys think?
-Have any other suggestions?

We still haven't done an adult get together in a long, long time. Maybe we can in June? I'm going to try to have more regular get togethers this spring and summer, and hopefully it will carry over into the fall and winter. I would love help with the ideas, organizing and email group. Any volunteers?

Question of the Week - Favorite Poet/Poem

Did you know that April is National Poetry Month? I didn't realize that until this weekend. Had I realized early and been less busy this month, I would have been writing more poems! I have about three that are currently in process, but are not ready yet. For the ones I've already posted, I created a page that list them with links to them, and you can go to the page titled Poems: My Life as Mother at any time from the link at the top of the screen under the header.

In honor of National Poetry Month, this week's question of the week is really two questions, and you can answer either or both:

Who is your favorite poet/a poet you like? What poem would you like to share (it doesn't have to be by your favorite poet)?

I have two favorite poets, and I am unapologetic about it. One is e.e. cummings, who I first discovered and became fascinated with in 6th grade. I especially love his style (check out She being Brand, and do note that the poem is a total metaphor). My other favorite is Robert Frost. I love the way he writes and what he writes about (I can't even pick one to link to, since so many of them speak to me).

Besides my own poetry and poems by cummings and Frost, I would like to share a poem that has, with irony, been on my mind a lot since having kids: This Be The Verse, by Philip Larkin. (Please note that there is the eff bomb a couple times in that poem, so don't click that link if that will offend you.)

How about you? Do you have a favorite poet? Any poems you love? Something you vaguely remember from 10th grade english class but can't recall what it is? Share it with us! After all, I think perhaps there may be at least some poems as lovely as a tree...

Learning Her Native Language

I'm so fascinated with how my daughter is learning language. As a person who loves languages and words, seeing how a child's language develops first hand is really eye opening to me. I remember when I lived in Italy and spoke italian almost fluently, I was get so mad at myself when I mixed up pronouns or tenses. But watching my child go through those same things, I'm realizing that it is a natural part of learning any language.

We don't expect children to get even their native language correct from the get go. We know that they will say some words wrong, misuse phrases, mix up pronouns and verb tenses, and generally not understand some things that we usually take for granted. We generally aren't unreasonable in our expectations of children. We correct them or let it go when they don't say things right. It takes years and years and YEARS for them to learn their native language fluently, with higher and higher levels of vocabularly and grammar rules and goodness knows what else!

We tell them to "use their words" when they are frustrated/mad/sad, and it's up to us to teach them those words. Teaching them the words for their emotions, their needs and their wants not only helps us understand them and cuts down on their tantrums, but it also allows them to begin to understand their emotions, needs and wants. If you have a "spirited" child like I do, the book Raising Your Spirited Child has really helped me come up with phrases and ways to say things that I am teaching my daughter so that she will understand herself and be able to help other people understand her.

Recently, we've been working on helping her learn how to go to sleep by herself. It's a long process (no Baby Sleep Boot Camp for this child!), and I will post about my methods soon. Part of my strategy is teaching her the words she needs to know to understand what is going on and what she needs to learn. In the last few nights, I've heard her tell me the following:
-I'm having trouble going to sleep.
-It's hard [to go to sleep].
-I'm going to lay down and try to sleep. (I'm still working on lay versus lie with her)
-I just need to cuddle a little in your lap. (She gets back in bed after I cuddle with her a little.)
-I'm ready for you to go now. (She wasn't, but it was still good to hear the words.)

I believe it is because I'm teaching her the words that truly reflect what's going on that I'm hearing less of the follow at bedtime:
-There's a shark in the anchor (pointed to the cords of the window). It's going to eat me!
-I'm scared to lay down.
-Nooooo! Lay down with me!
-Go away! (and a second later) Don't leave!

And apparently, I'm also teaching her how to say some things simply because I say them all the time. These include:
-Hey--as in, "Hey, everybody!", "Hey, that's not right!", and "Hey! Hey! Hey!" (to get attention).
-Cannot--as in, "No, you cannot do that." I'd heard Londo say to her, "Embrace the use of the contraction," and I couldn't figure out why she was always using cannot instead of can't. Until I heard myself tell her, "No, you cannot do that!" one day. Aha!
-Actually--as in, "Actually, it does fit you." Actually, I have realized I use this word a ton. Actually, it's really cute when she says it, too. Actually, I have no plans to stop saying it.
-Oh my gosh--as in, "Oh my gosh! Those are so cute!" which she said about the clothes I picked out for her this morning, even though she "actually" didn't want to wear the shirt I had picked out. She has always loved to make the surprised face and sound, and now she's added oh my gosh.

But some cute phrases she has either picked up somewhere else or developed on her own. My favorite one lately is:
-By my own. As in, she came up with that one by her own. Not on her own or by herself. She wants to do things by her own. And I love it!

All my observations about how her speech and language develops is making me want to re-learn italian or maybe even another language too. I think I will feel less inhibited about speaking now that I realize that making mistakes and not speaking perfectly is a natural part of learning a language. And maybe I'll come up with some cute little phrases in italian all by my own!