Question of the Week - How Many Kids?

There has been talk lately about how many kids people are having (see the talk in posts by Moxie (comments section), hush, Cloud, to name a few).

Though there are lots of answers on those posts and comments, I'm asking the question out right here for this week's Question of the Week:

In an ideal world, how many kids are you going to have?

I say "an ideal world" because of my intimate familiarity with infertility. I know there are some out there who want more and are having problems with conceiving and/or carrying another child or even a first child. BTDT.

But for the sake of pretend, let's say that fertility is not an issue. How many kids would you have?

My answer: Hmmm. My answer...

Well, before I had kids, I almost always wanted three kids. I was the youngest of three, as was my husband. I am used to three. I like the dynamics of three. Three is comfortable to me. And heck, if my parents had stopped at two, I wouldn't be here!

There was a short period of time when I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to handle three, and thought just two. This was still before I had kids, but after I years of dealing with recurring depression which turned out to be Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). At the time, taking care of just myself even with the help of Londo seemed overwhelming. But then I figured out that it was SAD and started light therapy during the winters. Life seemed a bit easier.

And then we had the Pumpkin. My vivacious, spirited, active daughter who had such problems with sleeping and requires so much energy. But who also gives back so much joy and laughter and love.

To be honest, that first year of her life, I thought the idea of having more kids was I-N-S-A-N-E! But Londo and I had always planned on having two, at minimum. And after the first year, I started to regain some of my sense of self and sanity and even sleep. I continued to be sure I wanted at least one more. Not knowing how long it would take us to conceive again, we jumped right back into it, and were very lucky that it didn't take long with some help from the specialists.

Then was the really rough pregnancy, during which I swore up and down that that was it. I couldn't do it again. It was too hard, I was too tired. I could not handle another pregnancy. Two was it! I was so 100% sure!

Then... well, then there was the Pookie. He was an easier baby, and I didn't dislike the infant stage so much the second time around. And there were some really sweet moments with two children, and I would say to Londo, "well, maybe three." And he'd usually shake his head and insist that he was done. But once or twice he said "maybe" and meant it. In fact, we both agreed that he would hold off doing something permentant in the way of prevention for five years after the Pookie's birth. Just to be sure.

Enter into the narrative the Pookie's 6 month growth spurt/sleep regression, during which he woke up every. freaking. hour! to nurse! I made my sister promise me that if I ever started talking crazy about having another kid to remind me of that time, that hell of a time with both kids waking in the night, feeling drained and OMG I just could NEVER do that again! No way! I was done! Two and through! (Londo remained steadfast in his stance of just two.)

And now? Since about the time the Pookie was 9 months old on? I'm back to wanting three. I think I'm crazy. I can't imagine doing it again. We certainly can't afford it now AT ALL (which is the main reason I'm not pushing the issue with Londo. Yet). However, I do think I could handle three kids once I'm through the pregnancy and first year, thanks to the medication that was so successful for me last year. Granted it would be harder to have three, but I just don't think it would be exponentially harder. Just a fraction harder. After all, I found going from one to two not NEARLY as hard as going from zero to one. Surely going from two to three won't be as hard, either. (Unless perhaps we are blessed with another spirited child!) (Also, Londo does not feel the same about this. Londo found it harder than I did to go from one to two.)

When I walk around and see other families with three kids, I long for a similar family. When I think about the kids when they are older, I think how nice it would be to have three. When I think of the kids grown, I imagine three kids and spouses/partners and grandchild! There is something about a family with three kids that feels so right to me.

That doesn't mean that we will have three. Londo is still pretty sure his answer is two. I love our two kids, and I will definitely be extremely happy with this family as it currently is. But I worry that I will always feel like I wasn't done. That our family should have had one more. I just won't insist on it at the expense of going to the poor house or Londo having a total breakdown (his threats to leave me are just a joke... but his having a breakdown might have some truth to it).

I may want three kids now, at this moment, but my two are fantastic and I don't want to miss a moment with them. So I will focus on them now, and give it another year or two to decide for sure with Londo. This does mean we have to keep all that maternity clothes and infant clothes and toys for a few more years. It will be nice to get all that out of the house. But I'm not ready yet to say that we are done.

What about you? Are you done with one? Two and through? Three and let it be? Four or more? Has your answer changed over time, especially since actually having kids? Is your partner in agreement? If you don't have a partner, would you be willing to have more on your own? In your ideal world, how many kids would you have, knowing what you know now?

Recipes Review, Bloggy Book Club and August Meet Up

Recipes Review

Get this: I posted a cake and muffin recipe review on my review site! Didn't know I had a review site? Well, I haven't posted in a LONG time. But it was one of my New Year's Resolutions to start posting on my review blog again. I've got all sorts of things I've been wanting to write up, but to get me going at all I started with some easy recipes. They are good ones I found on allrecipes.com, though. And the upcoming reviews are even more interesting!

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Bloggy Friends Book Club

In early July, hush did a book discussion for The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. I definitely have plans to read the book and add a (hopefully) meaningful comment to the discussion. If you've read it, head over and post your thoughts!

I had had this thought that those who like reading and are interested could host a book discussion on their blogs and/or comment to participate, thereby creating a sort of Bloggy Friends Book Club that meet at each others' places to discuss the book of the month.

So I'd like to host a book discussion of Midwives, by Chris Bohjalian on August 11, 2010! If you are interested, get the book, read it and come here and comment on August 11th.

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August DC Area Meet Up

I know everyone is more than ready for an adult-only get together. Let's do it in August! Please vote for the day and time in the poll on the side panel. There are lots of options because it occured to me that I should offer lunch and dinner times for each day. I'm unable to do the weekend of the 21-22, so I didn't include those.

I'm thinking we meet in McLean and go to one of the restaurants there. I really like a few in the Tyson's Corner II mall. What do you guys think?

My Adventure Girl

When we went on vacation last month, my friend (commenter Bisbink), her husband and son spent the weekend with us and my dad. One day that weekend, Londo and my dad went golfing, while I took both kids down to the boardwalk with my friend and her family. We walked around, had lunch and played in the sand. It was fun and a nice time.

But the best part was after we did all that, we went to the amusement rides part of the boardwalk. The Pookie had just (finally!) fallen asleep in the stroller, and thanks to my friend and her husband, I was able to focus more on my adventurous daughter.

This was her first time on any real ride. She'd been on those little up-and-down animal/car rides at the mall, but never a true round-and-round ride at any sort of amusement park, like my friend's son (who is just a few months older than the Pumpkin) had. Thanks to my friend staying with the sleeping babe in the stroller, I was able to go on the Pumpkin's first ride with her: a carousel!

We sat on horses next to each other, each strapped in on our horse (so we can be safe!), and my hand on her back. She LOVED it (even more than I did) and was totally ready for another ride.

The next ride was a sit-in-a-car (or was it a train?) ride that went round and round. She went in a car by herself, while my friend's son went in another car. Her whole face was light up the entire ride. It was magical for me to watch.

The next ride was an airplane ride, another round-and-round ride, but this one could go up and down too! She went in an airplane by herself, and she used the control stick to make herself go up and down. At first, she pulled the control stick, and when the plane started to jerk up, she let go of the stick to hold on to the sides of the plane, and the plane came back down. It took her a few circles to figure out that she needed to keep her hands on the stick and keep pulling down to get her plane to keep going up. Once she figured it out, she was a wiz! I could see the Thrill of the Ride in her face the whole time.

Finally, we had enough tickets for her to ride in a puppy dog that went round and round and up and down, although the up and down was an automatic one not controlled by her. She still loved it!

She did not want the fun of the rides to end, but the baby was waking up, we were out of tickets and she was WAY over-stimulated. So I made us leave, and thanks to no more tickets, she didn't complain TOO much.

On the way to the parking lot, she pointed out the ferris wheel and said she wanted to go on that. Now that I'd seen my adventure girl on the kiddie rides, I realized that she could handle the ferris wheel and the thrill of heights. I promised her that we would come back to the boardwalk later that week with Daddy, and I'd go on the ferris wheel with her. After all, I love ferris wheels and would love to share that with her!

Sure enough, that's what we did a few days later. First, we had to check that there was no height or age requirement, which there weren't. Then we had to wait for our turn, and we did some fun dancing to the music while we waited. I explained the rules of no leaning out of the car and staying seated, and made sure the guy who ran the ride re-iterated what I said (he totally mumbled it, slightly amused, but understanding that I needed him to say it to her as the official ride operator). Londo stayed at the bottom with the Pookie, while the Pumpkin and I got in the car and rode all the way to the top!!!

We could see "eva-ree-ting!" (everything!) from the top! She loved to look around and go around the big wheel. Ferris wheels aren't the same thrill as a fast ride, but the sheer height and view was so exciting for both of us.

My daughter has always had an adventurous spirit. She was climbing jungle gym equipment with ease and no fear since shortly after she started walking (at 10 months!). She has always gone to the edge of things, jumped from as high as we'll let her, climbed everything she could find. She has always loved the thrill of doing physical things. Of course rides were right up her alley. And I'm so happy I've gotten to experience her joy with her.

Maybe My Birthday Rule Will Work Next Year

Today is my birthday! Happy birthday to me! I still love my birthday, because each year is still better than the last.

This morning, I told my kids that the rule on Mommy's birthday was: No fighting, arguing, crying*, screaming or whining.

They did all five anyway, of course!

*I actually rescinded the crying part, because I've always said that if anyone feels the need to cry, they could go ahead and cry.

Question of the Week - Internet Writing

The Internet has changed the way we write. It's influenced how we speak and how we act and, I would even argue, how we think. Being a language person, I really love to think about how language changes and is influenced.

Consider the following ways of writing that are normal on the Internet, but perhaps were not the norm prior:
-Acronyms for often-used phrases (LOL, YMMV)
-Written sounds we make to convey speech (meh, gah)
-Use of punctuation to describe how we are speaking (emphasizing. every. word. A lot!!!)
-Purposely mis-spelled words for effect (teh, haz)
-Brand new words to describe brand new things (tweets, blogosphere)
-Emoticons/phrases to express, well, emotions ( ;-), I <3 your blog)

Those are just a few I thought of off the top of my head. I'm sure there are many more examples of how the Internet is changing our language.

This week's question of the week is:

What is your favorite new way of writing that you get from the Internet?

I've got two: the written sounds and the punctuation to show the speech pattern. I especially love the words "meh" and "gah!" And I'm a huge user of the periods between words and multiple question marks or exclaimation points. It's just cause I love. them. so. MUCH!!!!

What about you? Do you find yourself using the acronyms regularly or throwing some internet words out in real life? Do you like the changes in teh language or r u wishing everyone would still write out the words even if it means longer texts? Any cool interweb speak that I missed which you enjoy?