Infertility Stories

The fun post with my romance novel recommendations is being pushed back yet another day. But for an even better reason than yesterday's reason.

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. I wish I had realized it sooner, but it was only yesterday that I read about it on the blog a little pregnant. (I believe I missed it last year too, because I'm bad for remembering dates of things.)

I've talked a bit about our struggles with infertility and I've written a whole post about my miscarriage. So I'm not going to go into my stories any more right now. Especially since we were especially lucky to have needed only ONE medicated IUI cycle to get pregnant with the peanut currently in my belly.

Instead, I want to share some other stories of people I know who have struggled with infertility, because there is so much that people go through that others don't even realize. Happily, the stories I know have good endings, although that is simply not true for everyone.

I have a family member who struggled with maybe 7 or 8 years of infertility with his wife. She had to have surgery for polyps and all sorts of other treatments. Finally, after learning that her eggs just weren't viable, they tried donor eggs with the husband's sperm. After a couple of IVF tries, two transferred eggs implanted and the wife was able to carry the twin! Although born premature, the two boys have done well and are now celebrating being 6 months old. They are very much loved and wanted, and my family is all very happy.

A colleague and friend of mine started fertility treatments around the same time I got pregnant with the Pumpkin. She started the treatments because she had had 2 or 3miscarriages and realized it was time to see a specialist. After more miscarriages (a total of 5) and talk of looking into adoption instead of continuing to go through the heartbreak, she finally was able to carry a baby to term! She and her husband now have an adorable little girl who is almost 1!

A friend of my husband and mine had also suffered from multiple miscarriages due to a unusually shaped uterus. She and her husband kept trying, though. They looked into fertility treatments, but decided after one cycle that it wasn't right for them, since the problem didn't seem to be conceiving but maintaining the pregnancy in her uterus. I believe she looked into alternate medicines, but I don't know too many of the details. What I do know is that she was able to carry a baby girl, and though she was put on hospital bedrest for more weeks than I want to think about (I think like 2 months), she delivered her baby at almost 31 weeks. After a stay in NICU, their daughter came home, is doing well and is incredibly adorable!

Another colleague of mine was going through fertility treatments at the same time I was when I got pregnant with the Pumpkin (and at the same place). After 2 IVF cycles, they got pregnant with a beautiful boy who is about a month or less younger than the Pumpkin.

Yet another colleague of mine has PCOS. She is now pregnant with her second, and her first is just a few months younger than the Pumpkin. She fortunately didn't need to go to a specialist, but she and her husband worked with her OB/GYN to get her on the right medication for the cycles when they were trying to conceive.

An acquaintance of mine (and good friend of my good friend) got pregnant right away with her first child. When she and her husband tried for their second, they suffered through 3 miscarriages and a much longer wait than they had "planned." They saw a specialist, and though I didn't pry into what they went through, I do know that they had a healthy boy over a year ago.

These are just some of the many stories I've heard IRL as I am more and more open about my struggles. I have heard other stories, too, and I'm sure there are many people around me who have struggled but don't talk about it.

For all those who are struggling with fertility issues, I wish you a happy ending to your story, and hopefully not too rough a journey in getting there. And if the treatments aren't working, then I hope that you find your peace in another way, be it adoption to have a child or happiness without a child.

For all those who have never thought about fertility issues, I'm so happy that you haven't had to deal with it and hope that you won't have to. I also hope that reading these stories gives you an idea of the struggles some of us go through just to have children.

Children are a blessing to all around them. Please do not take them for granted. Please do not assume that others can easily plan when and how many or easily conceive the first time or any subsequent times. Please remember these things when speaking to others on the topic of children and/or conceiving.

Thanks for listening.

Of Childbearing Years

Hey, I won the Parent Bloggers Network Blog Blast I Live in a Zoo for my entry All the Monkey's Aren't in the Zoo! I was randomly selected as a winner, but let's pretend it was due to my excellent writing, m'kay? It was a fun topic, and there are tons of other great posts. You should check some out!

And now onto today's regularly scheduled post...

It is tough to be of childbearing years, especially the time period between children. There are so many things I can't do just in case. There are all these things that I can't give away, from my maternity clothes to baby toys. I find this time period difficult in many ways, from caring for my body (or "The Vessel") to finding places to store everything.

I miss drinking and dancing and late nights. I really do. This last weekend, I was at a wedding were I actually DANCED! It was so fun and I missed it. I know many people will say that you can still drink and dance and have late nights. But I can't. I know me and my body. I can't handle it anymore. Not only that, but the amounts I used to drink are not compatible with breastfeeding or trying to conceive, so it's been a long since I really truly got WASTED! I suppose that's a good thing, because I know my recovery period will be much longer now than it was in my early 20s. But I still miss it sometimes.

As for dancing... Do you know where I'd have to go to go out dance? To clubs and bars and places that I don't frequent because of smoke and single guys and Lord knows what else. It's just not part of my lifestyle anymore. It's not what a mom does, or even wants to do. Now, Londo and I did used to take dance lessons where we learned everything from the waltz to swing, and we loved it! But that costs money that we don't have anymore, and it would require a babysitter. We are just not in a place in our lives where we can do that. We will again some day.

Because of trying to conceive, I am trying to take care of my body. Which means no late nights, not a lot of junk food, trying to cut down on stress (although that doesn't always happen), giving up coffee (OMG, I miss my coffee!!!) take care of my skin and hair, not taking most medications, and so much else. The Vessel needs to be in prime condition, after all. We are spending time and money on the fertility treatments, and I am trying to make sure to do everything I can to help.

Except exercise. I really just can't find the time or energy to exercise. I've lost all my pregnancy weight and some of the weight I gained last round of fertility treatments, so that's awesome. But my body has definitely changed, and my clothes don't fit exactly right. But I just don't have it in me to kill myself fitting in a workout routine when I am hoping to pregnant again soon. I stopped exercising last pregnancy because of spotting issues, and I didn't want to chance another miscarriage. I won't want to exercise this time either, just in case.

Which leads me the fact that I have all these clothes in a variety of sizes! Where am I supposed to store them all? I do have a good-sized walk in closet, but I'm running out of room. I've got the maternity clothes, two sets of in between sizes for going up and back down from pregnancy, my clothes that fit me now, and my skinnier clothes for when I am done with kids and ready to exercise and get back my smoking bod! And for most of these sizes, I have summer and winter clothes. I can't get rid of them, because I'm not done with the childbearing (I hope), so I will need them again. I am NOT going to buy all new clothes each time I go up or down a size. So I have to find somewhere to put them.

I also need to store all the sizes of childrens clothes. Everything from the newborn to the 12 month size that the Pumpkin has grown out of. She's got a lot of clothes. (Should I mention that I don't like doing laundry often, so I like to have at least 2 weeks worth of clothes for her. And me.) These clothes will likely be handed down to the future child. I like to buy some things that are girly and pink but also other things that are neutral, so even if we have a boy next there are a lot of the clothes we could reuse. And we still don't know if we will have 2 or 3, so I will have to continue to store them for a while.

Also, the baby toys and equipment. We got A LOT of hand-me-downs from my sister's daughter and my brother's twins. We had 3 bassinets and 2 exersaucers (not that she really used any of those), as well as three swings (she would only use one, but that was the one that let us sleep at night), two bouncy chairs and tons of little rattle and squeeze toys. It was way more than we needed, but when it's free, how can you say no? And now I worry that the next child (or two) will be do different and need even the things that the Pumpkin did not. I also worry that we will have twins next, since our chance of multiples does go up with the fertility treatments (Lord, help me!). So I don't want to get rid of any of it. Just in case.

But where oh where do I put all this stuff? Our storage room is overflowing and my closet is stuffed to the gills! I think it's time for an overhaul of the storage room, but I'm not sure we can make more out of what we have. If only I had Mary Poppin's carpet bag...

But once I'm out of these childbearing years and done with having children? You better believe we are having the most amazing yard sale! Come one, come all! I'll make deals and deals galore! You won't want to miss it! Everything must go! And what doesn't sell will go straight to a cause in need.

Being Mrs. Brightside

It sucks to pull down your pants and be disappointed. I doubt men are disappointed when they pull down their pants. Well, some men probably are, but I think most are just thinking, "Hey, cool. My penis!"

With women, there are some months when you pull down your pants and you are disappointed. This can be because you are on your honeymoon, on a beach vacation, out camping, in a strange bathroom without your purse or similar reasons. For some of us--oh, let's just say it--for me, it's because I know for sure that I'm not pregnant.

I'm trying to be all Mrs. Brightside about this. Okay! We are ready to start the medicated IUIs again! Now this whole Trying To Conceive thing is ON! Now, we mean BUSINESS!

But yesterday I got my blood taken AGAIN (two previous times last month were for pre-treatment testing), I had to wait 1.5 for a nurse to stick a phallic ultrasound object up my girl*, and I started the first type of medication (Clomid, for those who know what that is). In a couple days, I'll start giving myself injections. In. My. Stomach. I will have to do at least four this month. Good times.

It'll be worth it! We had to go through a lot for our first, and she was worth it! We can do this. I can do this. Grin and bare it. Walk it off. Rub some dirt in it. Wear long sleeves so no one things I'm a junkie. Make up excuses so people don't wonder why I keep coming in late... Oh, wait. Those last two weren't exactly Brightside... Get back on the horse. Yada yada yada... You get the picture.

As a side note, is it any wonder I haven't updated my blogroll in FOREVER and I've been bad about keeping up with all my wonderful internet friends' blogs? I really really will make time for both things very soon. I'm just crazy busy at work, at home and at the doctor. So just because you don't see your blog in my blogroll or see my comments on your posts, don't think I don't love you and your blog! I'll be back on track soon.

But as a final Brightside note, the Pumpkin slept through the night last night! So our tally is: 6 nights in a row she slept through, 4 nights in a row up early and had to cosleep, and last night slept through. So at least I've got that going for me, which is nice.

*Was that too much information? Probably. Londo hates it when I am too detailed about these things. His best friend and brother read the site, after all. And so do other random strangers on the internet. But hey, this is what we women have to go through! I consider it a PSA!

My Miscarriage Story

A week ago was September 3rd. That day has particular significance for me. That was the due date for my first pregnancy. The one that ended in miscarriage. I wasn't sure I was going to write about that experience, but I have been feeling particularly down and think that perhaps it will help to share what happened. At least to get it out of my system. For now.

Do I even need to bother with a warning? Just in case...

Warning: This is a very sad post. I discuss my miscarriage and resulting D&C. If loss like this upsets you, skip this post. I'll understand.

I know people who have had multiple miscarriages, and at times I feel fortunate that I had only one miscarriage (so far). But it was still a devastating loss to me. After trying on our own for two years with no success, it took us 3 medicated IUI cycles to get pregnant that first time. All those months of disappointments, and finally, a fertilized egg that actually implanted!

I still remember how we found out. My MIL and FIL were up here visiting, but Londo wasn't ready to tell them that we were even trying to conceive. We had taken the day off of work to spend with the inlaws, however my appointment for the pregnancy blood test was scheduled for early Friday morning. I snuck out of the house, successfully avoiding my inlaws, had my blood taken, and was back in time for breakfast. I think Londo told them I had to go help my mom with something so they wouldn't suspect anything.

After breakfast, we headed off to the DC museums. We saw the American History museum and then met my dad downtown for lunch at the American Indian museum. After lunch, we went around the American Indian museum. I was getting tired from the full day downtown and went outside the gift store to sit on a bench. That was when I got the call. After receiving the good news, I motioned Londo out of the store and told him. As we left the museum, we told his parents, and included the whole tale about our trouble trying. Everyone was so happy.

For those who don't know, when you are getting fertility treatments, you get your blood taken and measured for the pregnancy hormone every few days until you reach a certain threshold, and then you go in for weekly ultrasounds until they are satisfied the baby is growing, has a heartbeat and seems fine. After three more blood tests that all looked good, we went in for the ultrasound and saw the egg growing. The following week, Londo couldn't make the appointment, but since I was only 6 and a half weeks along, we figured it would be too early to see a heartbeat so he wouldn't be missing anything major.

There was a heartbeat. But it was slow. I did not know what that meant, but the ultrasound technician who had been so cheerful the week before was very reserved when she told me. The doctor came in, and I'm sure he explained what it could mean, but I don't remember now what he said. I do know that I was still unsure how bad a sign a slow heartbeat was. Of course I googled it when I got home, and I found out the likelyhood that the baby would make it was very slim.

The next, Londo was sure to come to the appointment with me. The doctor was in the room for the beginning of the ultrasound. There was no heartbeat at all. The doctor put his hand on my knee and said "I'm sorry."

Londo and I were devastated. We had tried all week to hope for the best, but I had tried to prepare for the worse. Let me just tell you, nothing can prepare you for looking at a picture of your baby inside you whose heart is no longer beating. I cried. They gave me and Londo time to get ourselves together, and we left. Later, I talked with our nurse over the phone about what it would mean and what we should do at that point.

We decided to wait and see if it would "pass naturally." After a week and a half, it still had not "resolved" itself. I don't know how this might sound to anyone else so please excuse me if this is at all offensive, but at that point I couldn't stop thinking that I had a dead baby inside. My dead baby. (Excuse me while I take a minute to collect myself... Okay.)

We decided to go ahead and have the D&C so I could start recovering and we could move on. The D&C sucked. Everyone was wonderful and understanding, afterall the procedure was done by the people in the fertility center. Londo was the most wonderful, being supportive and trying to keep me in good spirits, even though I know he was as upset by the whole thing as I was. I was unconscious when they did the procedure, but I was awake when they wheeled me into the room, got me on the table, got my legs in the stirrups and strapped my arms down. Sucked sucked sucked.

I don't think recovery took more than I few days, but I was emotionally miserable, physically uncomfortable and hormonally whacked out. I. Was. A. Mess. I got better, and we did start treatments again, which resulted in our second pregnancy and subsequent birth of my precious baby girl.
I don't remember the dates of these events exactly. We found out we were pregnant in December. We found out the heartbeat stopped in January. I had the D&C in January. (We took a cruise in March to help get away from it all and feel better.) But I don't even try to remember the dates. The only date I know for sure was September 3rd, the baby's due date. Every year on and around September 3rd, I am reminded and feel down at the loss of my first baby. The baby who wasn't.

Pumpkinisms

First of all, let me just say how surprised I am that when I asked a bunch of internetters who read my blog what they couldn't live without, the majority of you answered The Internet! I'm shocked! Truly, that's just so out of left field! Who would have guessed?

*snicker*

And now to make me feel better after having gotten my arm stuck with a needle this morning and 6 vials of blood taken (but at least we'll know for sure that I'm still immune to chicken pox and rubella!), I'm going to regale you with some cute Pumpkinisms.

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On Sunday, I pulled out my old hair clips that I'm obviously too old for now, and I sat down with the Pumpkin to play with them. She loved the glittery little butterfly clips in a rainbow of colors (totally 90s, but I loved them). She kept handing me ones, and I kept putting them in her hair. They didn't last too long in her hair, but now she is always asking for them.

Best part? She says the word butterfly like this "wobberwhy."

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The Pumpkin is a huggy girl, and she often asks Mama and Daddy for hugs. (Also loves to hug the dog, which is super cute.) Lately, she's stuck an "a" sound in between the word hug and who she's asking for the hug. So she says, "Hug-a-Mama?" or "Hug-a-Daddy?"

I keep thinking it's like Whac-a-Mole, but with more love.

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She is still pretending to sleep (and fall down), but she's added a new action to the sleeping. Now, once she says "Pumpkin seepin" and lies down, she reaches an hand around and rubs her back. So she must like the back rubbing a little, even though she will often push my hand away if I'm really trying to get her to go to sleep.

Realizations and Pretending

I've realized a few things over the past couple of days:

1. I'm transparent. I always suspected this, but the many people who said that they suspected we were trying confirms it. Although I must say I wasn't going out of my way to keep it a secret. I just wasn't laying it out there until now.

2. You people are wonderful. Of course I knew this already, but it hit me again. My friends inside the computer (as well as those IRL) are very supportive and understanding, and I appreciate every kind word you've said to me. Thank you all.

3. It helps to know others who have struggle with IF while I'm going through it again. I was going to write that I no longer feel alone, but that wouldn't have been accurate. Londo was with me every step of the way, and I had great support from my family and some close friends. But no one else had really been through it and totally understood exactly what it felt like. The closest was of course my husband, but as a man, he couldn't experience the same exact things I went through. The internet is really amazing in helping provide this connections to others with the same experience.

Also, I'm really sorry that some of you have also struggled with infertility and miscarriages. My hugs to out to you, too.

And now, on to some cute Pumpkin stories for a lighter note on Friday.

The Pumpkin has recently discovered how to pretend things. It's really quite cute. I would say there are probably three ways in which she pretends, and she does these all. the. time.

1. She pretends to put lotion on her hands and face. It's really cute to watch her rub her hands together (just like Mama!) and also rub her hands down her face (just like Mama!). My hands are really dry, so I'm always putting on lotion. When I do, she used to just also rub her hands together in the same way. Although now the Pumpkin comes up to me and says, "Hans?" (She says hands when she wants to hold your hand and take you somewhere, when she wants to hold your hands to help her down from somewhere, and when she wants to wash her hands. Really, whenever something involves hands.) I give her a touch of my lotion, and she rubs her hands around, which is a little less pretend. Also, every morning I put lotion on my face. The Pumpkin watches this and then pretends to get lotion out of the toothpaste container and rub it around her face. I get such a kick out of this.

2. She pretends to fall down. She does this all the time. She stubbles and falls to her knees totally on purpose. Then she gives this fake cry and says, "Whaaaa. Pumpkin* fall down!" The nearby adult needs to then go hug her or hold her and say something comforting. I think this game started suspiciously close to the time when I taught her Ring Around the Rosies. I figure that she is learning cause and effect and that she's playing through the scenerio of falling in order to deal with real falls. (I highly recommend Playful Parenting, by Lawrence Cohen, to learn about how kids play through scenerios in order to understand how to deal with things in their lives.) This one does get old after a while, but what can you do.

3. She pretends to go to sleep. She lays her head down on a pillow or the floor and says, "Pumpkin* seepin" or some version of that, and then she makes snoring sounds. Sometimes, if there is a blanket nearby, she will pull the blanket up too. This was totally learned from different books we have read, and it has been highly encouraged by her parents and babysitter in the hopes that it will help for real when trying to put her to sleep and in the middle of the night. It might be helping. I like to think it is. Let's humor me and pretend that it's totally helping. I like to play pretend too!

Isn't she adorable? These cute things totally make up for her recent real life game of trying to bite my shoulder when she leans in for a hug. Urg. Mama also plays pretend then... I pretend that I am not about to lose it completely. Sometimes, Mama is not so good at pretend. ;-)


*She says her own name instead of Pumpkin. Which is probably obvious, but I felt the need to clarify anyway.

Going For Number Two

Here is the post where I spill my guts. I've debated whether I wanted to write about any of this or all of it or what. I debated whether my hubby really was okay with me "telling the world," but I'm taking him at his word when he told me to go ahead. I worry about keeping some things private, but I am no longer sure why I would want to keep this private. Going through it last time was so hard to do when I didn't know anyone IRL who was going through it, and it can be so isolating. Thanks to some friends I found through the internet, I had people to talk to. I need support and I need to talk and write about this, because that's how I deal. Besides, the real life friends and family we have who read my blog already know, so here goes...

We are trying to conceive a second child. Some people wait until their child is older and things are more settled to go through the chaos of babyhood/toddlerhood all over again. Londo and I are in agreement that we want to get it all over with together. All the fertility treatments, all the pregnancies, all the nursing, diapers, sleepless nights, teething, etc., we just want to get it all over with in one big lump of sleepless years. Pull it off, like ripping off a bandaid. Have I mentioned that the baby stage is not my or Londo's favorite stage? But we are enjoying the toddler stage, and we seriously are looking forward to 3 and older. So we want to get the baby stage over and have 2 to 3 kids who are 3 and older. We'll get there.

But how will we get there?

I've mentioned before that we struggled with infertility and needed help to conceive the Pumpkin. We have no idea why we had problems, and we were determined to have "unexplained infertility." I won't get into the frustration of a diagnosis like that, especially when we are the types of people who research and try to fix things. There was no specific "problem" to fix. Instead, the specialist (a reproductive endocrinologist (RE)) recommended full medicated IUI cycles to just cover all our bases and hope it worked.

After 2.5 years of trying to conceive (TTC), 5 IUI cycles, 1 miscarriage, 1 D&C for the miscarriage, more needles than I can count, and lots of hormones, we got pregnant with the Pumpkin. I carried to term (past term) delivered our beautiful baby girl. It is a rough road, but it truly was worth it.

And now we are back on the rollar coaster of emotions, hormones, treatments, needles (oh, the so many needles) and who knows what else. We have used any form of birth control for over a year, and we actively tried for a few months. Nothing. We could have kept trying, but as Londo pointed out to me, we don't know if we could ever conceive on our own. Why are we wasting time when we know that the medicated IUIs did work for us--we got pregnant 2 out of the 5 times, so that's a 20% of the time. So since we want to have this second kid soon, we decided to get back to the specialist and start the treatments again.

So, I weaned, because I'm more ready to be pregnant than I am not ready to wean (if that makes sense). I've given up coffee. I've worked with my insurance to figure out insurance stuff. We met with the specialist and set up a plan (in fact, the same plan that worked for us previously). And we have begun to do all the pre-treatment testing again, I guess to make sure that we are still "unexplained."

In fact, just this morning, I went in for the HSG, which is a test where they shoot dye up through my uterus and my fallopian tubes and take x-rays to make sure there are no abnormalities of shape and that my tubes are clear. The cramps that result from this test are pretty bad, but I'm happy to report all was clear!

On the unhappy note, the procedure room was in the same area where I went to have the D&C for the miscarriage I had. Even just going back into the exam rooms brings back so much, like the excite me of a heartbeat, or the devestation of a heart no longer beating. Things I'm sure I'll go into in more detail later, but having been hit pretty hard with some bad memories today, I'm not quite ready to talk about it.

When you go through infertility, there is just so much baggage attached to what is so simple for other people. We want another child. It sounds so easy. Just sex, right? In fact, lots of it to give you better chances! That's sounds great! But when just sex doesn't do it, when it's not that simple... it's just hard to go through. Again. Physically, emotionally, hormonally, mentally...

I (and Londo) just keep trying to concentrate on the wonderful outcome we had last time. In fact, it's easier to go through this time already, partly because we know the drill, but mostly because we know that it can work for us. We have the proof in one amazing, beautiful, supergenius toddler. I am confident that we will have another great outcome. It's just not an easy path for us to get there.

I hope that it will be a bit easier having a place to talk about it and get support.

Fancy Meeting You Here

A friend of mine just started fertility treatments at a local fertility center. Yesterday, she wrote about the fertility waiting room phenomena. I can't discribe the phenomena any better than she did when she said, "Nobody was looking at each other or talking, and the women with husbands were looking extra tense. We all have a common bond, but we were sitting there in our private worlds, not sharing. The vibes passing between people are basically, "you're infertile. I'm infertile. And I don't want to talk about it." It's like a bus station full of infertile people."

That's it exactly. Londo and I would bring books and just sit there reading, occassionally whispering to just each other. The fertility center waiting rooms are truly the most awkward of all the waiting rooms in the world. Londo did not come with me to all the appointments, like those when I was just having blood drawn, although he did come to most especially in the beginning. But there was this one time when he wasn't with me...

We had gotten pregnant after our third medicated IUI cycle, but the baby's heartbeat stopped at 7.5 weeks (this is a devasting story on its own, and I'm sure I'll write about it another time). When I didn't miscarry on my own, I had a D&C. After that, I had to go in every couple of days in the morning to have blood drawn so they could make sure my progesterone levels went back down.

Anyway, in the office the afternoon before, I let my coworkers know that I would be in late the next morning. I didn't say why, just that I would be late. One of the guys who I shared an office with, we'll call him R, said that he'd be in late too
because he was taking his wife to a doctor's appointment. I thought that was nice of him to be taking her. Then he said, "Actually, the doctor's out by you, so we'll be out in Maryland."* And I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be funny if he was going to the fertility center too? Nah. What are the chances."

I don't know what the chance are statistically, but the next morning I walked into the waiting room and you know who I saw! I was hanging up my coat and just happened to notice R sitting across the room with his wife. Our eyes met, I gave a little wave, and quickly sunk into a seat and pulled my book to cover my face. I believe we both probably turned bright red. We did not say another word to each other, or even look at each other. When his wife was called back and he stayed in the waiting room, I did not look up. When I was called back, I did not look up. I left as soon as my blood was drawn and drove into the office.

When I got there, no one else was in yet. I think our other officemate was working in a different location that day. I thought alot about what I would say, and I knew I should say something. You can just pretend that the pink elephant isn't in the middle of the room. Or I can't. It's not my way.

When he did get in the office, we said good morning and I gave him time to start up the computer. Then I just went for it, "So, I see you have the same doctors as I do." I thought that was a pretty good opener. And indeed, it opened us both up. Lo and behold, we were going through very similar issues. Neither of us really knew anyone going through fertility treatments who we could talk to about it. But suddenly, we could talk to each other. They were just starting out with the doctors, and they were doing IVF. I was able to explain his wife's mood and the effects of the drugs, he was able to talk about how hard it is to go through from a guy's perspective. It was really great for both of us.

And we probably never would have known about each other if it wasn't for the embarrassing moment in the fertility waiting room.

*For those who don't know the area, Maryland, Virginia and DC are all right near each other, and people in this area may live in MD, VA or DC but work in another state or the district. It's very common.

Happy Thanksgiving

It seems fitting to start my blog on Thanksgiving. I am thankful for so many things, one of which is having a great online community of mommybloggers to read.

Of course the thing I am most thankful for this year is my beautiful 8-month old baby girl, the Pumpkin. Words cannot express how much joy she has brought into my life. The constant holding and rocking, the months of sleepless nights, the struggle with naps and everything else has been worth it. She is amazing.

I'm incredibly thankful for my husband, and for having met him 10 years ago. He is truly my perfect match. I'm also thankful for my family and his family, who are loving and supportive. I am thankful for all my friends in real life and online. I am very blessed.

I am thankful especially this year for fertility treatments and those who work in the field who are compassionate and helpful.

Well, this first post is especially sappy, but I guess that's what Thanksgiving brings out in me. Just wait until Christmas!