Why I Am A Mommyblogger

Let me take a break from complaining about the sleep issues in my house. Instead, let's talk about "mommyblogging."

When I was at the DC BlogHer conference, I introduced myself to one young lady (did I just write "young lady"? I am getting old. But I wanted to write girl, but that wasn't fair) as I did to everyone else, "I'm a mommyblogger." She asked me why I call myself a mommyblogger, after all just because I'm a woman (and I assume she means a woman and a mom) does not mean that all I am is a mom because I could blog about anything. She proceeded to name a bunch of different things that I have little interest in as topics to blog about. I gave her a shorter version of what I'm about to explain to you all now.

Before I became a parent, I did not understand why in the world people would blog. I don't like reality TV or talk shows, which is basically what blogging reminded me of. I didn't understand why people would want to talk about their lives on the internet. I just didn't get it.

Then, I had my child. My lovely, wonderful, fussy, high-needs child. My first foray into anything blog-like was when I was struggling with the fact that the only way my child would sleep at night was swaddled in a swing. A good friend sent me a post from Ask Moxie (this post) which made me feel so much better, and I began to devour her site. Here was a woman who was talking about how hard it was to be a parent, and the comments of other women who understood and comisserated. There were good things too--bright uplifting things that kept me going through those tough first few months. This site became a daily place I went daily to read and feel better.

Then, I went back to work. I went to a new project and got along well with my new coworkers, but they were almost all men. Young, unmarried or just-getting-married men. In my large office, there were other parents, but I didn't know them. The other new mothers were still out on maternity leave. In fact, I was the only person using the Mother's Room at the time, which was nice for privacy, but lonely for understanding. The young men I worked with would listen to how tired I was, ask good questions to understand how hard, and were really great about welcoming me and letting me talk about the Pumpkin. But they just didn't understand and couldn't share their similar experiences (being an uncle is simply not the same).

So one day, as I'm in the Mother's Room pumping, I'm IMing a friend who also had a baby and went back to work. She asks if I've read any mommyblogs. I told her that I'd been reading Ask Moxie, which she hadn't discovered till I told her. She told me about Mom-101, Motherhood Uncensored, Girl's Gone Child, Her Bad Mother and probably a couple others. After a while of IMing about the mommyblogs, my friend fessed up that she actually has a blog, which I quickly added to my favorites.

Wow. These people understood what I was going through. They were talking about it, writing about it, sharing the good and the bad. The comments were other women who were going through the same things. The light came on in my head, and I felt like I finally had a place, a community. I finally understood why people blog, and why people read and comment.

I quickly became an addict. I read those blogs and used their blogrolls and comments to find other blogs. I started understanding that even on Ask Moxie, I could click a commenter's link and read their blog too. Then, I started leaving comments (after coming up with a name for myself). This was better than parenting magazines. This was better, to me, than even parenting message boards, which I had been going to. This was like the best of both non-fiction articles of magazines and the interactiveness of message boards.

I debated for a while about whether or not to start my own blog. I talked about it with Londo, because I wouldn't talk about our lives without his backing. Finally, last Thanksgiving, I decided to do it. I started a blog myself. This way, when I commented on others' sites, they could come back to me and see who I was, what I was going through. It would be more two-sided, more like a conversation. Like a community.

I generally only read mommyblogs, although there are some others I read. Since having kids, that's what I want to talk about with other people. I can't do that at work or with non-parents, as they quickly get bored. But I don't get bored with stories about people's kids or parenthood and all that we go through. I eat those stories up and look for more (I still haven't updated my blogroll, but I read A LOT of blogs).

Why am I "just" a mommyblogger? Because that is what interests me. Why are do some people blog only about politics or sports or their type of job or books? That is their area of interest. Why do some people just blog about their lives and all that encompasses? It's what they want to blog about.

I prefer to keep my blog focused on my area of interest. More than that, I have discovered an online community of women and men who are going through what I am going through. Parenthood. It's not easy, and those who don't have kids won't understand. But those who do, and who reach out and are supportive and kind to each other? Those are my people. My fellow bloggers and commenters.

Finally, although we talk about poop, developmental milestones and problems sleeping, we also talk about politics and work and marriage (or partnership) and life. We are more than just mommybloggers. We are women and men. We are also parents and there is nothing wrong with blogging about that. In fact, there is so much that is right about it and this parentblogging community.

I'm proud to be a mommyblogger.

No Comment

Before I had my own blog (was that really just 2 weeks ago?), I didn't comment much on other people's blogs. I read a bunch regularly, was often amused and interested, and on occasion, when I really felt compelled, would comment. The only exceptions were places I started to feel very comfortable or know the blogger IRL.

Reading blogs felt like I was listening in on other people's conversations, or even sneaking glances in other people's journals. Hmm, I think the conversations is a better analogy. To me, it felt like people were sharing bits of their lives with their friends, who would respond in the comments. But these people didn't know me. I would be an interloper, just randomly commenting. I felt like they would wonder who I was and why was I jumping in.

I'm not a shy person. In fact, I will jump in on people's conversations around me("Oh no, it's raining out there?" and "It took you how long to get into work?" were recent jump-in comments I made on the elevator last week). It's even a bit of joke in my family, how I'm such a wallflower. But still, even when I jump in on a conversation, I usually back right back out unless invited to stay by look or return comment. And that's just not really how blogs work.

And, I will admit, I've been a bit intimidated by some fellow bloggers. I said this to my husband, and he was surprised. "It's not like you to be intimidated by anyone," he responded. But some people are just so popular or seem so cool or so different (I won't link here, because I don't want anyone to take offense to me saying they are different, even though I mean it in a good way cause I like different) or have so many other commenters. Yes, I was intimidated.

But ever since I started my own blog, I have been commenting a lot on other sites. This is for a couple reasons. I personally love getting comments. I'm putting myself out on there for the whole internet world to see. And I'd like to know what people think about what I say. Besides, I'd rather have a conversation than a monologue. I have to assume (although you know what they say about assuming...) that others feel the same and would like to hear from their readers.

Also, I finally feel like I'm not some Great Unknown Commenter. If people read my comment, they can track me back to my blog and see who I am and that I'm not some Crazy Weirdo Internet Stalker. I'm just another mom, going through the same things.

Okay, maybe I'm a little crazy and weird, and maybe no one else feels the same. I guess I won't know for sure unless people comment...

(Totally off topic, but here is an interesting article about testing toys for toxins. Check it out.)

Another Meet Up! This Time, Dinner Out!

It's high time we DC Area bloggers and readers get together again. I think we all wish that we were able to talk more and get to know each other more at the first meet up. Don't get me wrong, I loved meeting the kids, seeing how cute they are, and watching them do the developmentally appropriate things that my child is/will be doing. But kids and the zoo leave little time for adults to sit around and chat. And I like to sit around and chat.

So this time, let's do dinner out! Without the kiddos! With drinks (for those who want them)! Woo hoo!

First step, go to that lovely little poll I put up on the left side of my blog and vote for which night you'd be able to get a babysitter or convince your partner to watch the kids. If you select other, please say in the comments of this post which date you would prefer that is not listed. (Hmmm, I haven't checked any of these dates with my husband, so they may be subject to change. hehe.)

There were requests that the adult night out be located somewhere close to a Metro stop, and since I'm on the MD side, I am suggesting the Bethesda Metro stop. It's not in DC, so we don't have to deal with DC night life (I'm old). It's not far outside of DC, so no Metroing way out into MD. And there are a ton of really great restaurants right there (all walking distance from the Metro). But if you have a better area in mind, please suggest it in the comments. I'm just throwing Bethesda out there as the best one I can come up with.

If we do go with Bethesda, I'm going to suggest Cafe Deluxe, which seems to be nice without being outrageously expensive. But please check out other options and feel free to suggest something else! I have not been out at all in Bethesda in a long time. Here's a great guide to downtown dining in Bethesda if you also need a refresher.

Last item is timing. I am going to suggest that whichever date we go, let's get there relatively early. I will make reservations*, but you know how crowded good restaurants in this area get! Doesn't matter to me how late people stay, or if we move to another location after dinner for more drinks or coffee or something.

What do you guys think?

*The reservations will be under the name "Cara." I just want to make sure everyone knows right off. (That was for you, Burgh Area Bloggers! haha)

Question of the Week - Ask the Grammar Queen

I want to reiterate here that even though I love grammar and notice mistakes, I do NOT judge anyone based on those mistakes. Unless you are applying for a job as a technical writer/editor and you have mistakes in your resume. Then, I will shake my head, laugh, and toss your resume into the trash.

But on your blog or in comments? No big deal. Heck, I know I make mistakes too. I hate it when I am rereading a post I already published and find grammar mistakes, typos or just confusing writing (usually stemming from sleep deprivation).

I do know grammar pretty well. And after all the comments on last week's post, I thought maybe for the Question of the Week I'd offer you the opportunity to ask me questions:

What question about grammar would you like me to answer?

Shoot me anything that you're not sure about or have always wondered. Heck, see if you can stump me! I'll be honest if I have to look up an answer.

And I'll start with one of my own and see if anyone can tell me:
-What is the difference/when do you use "wish I was" versus "wish I were"?

I had a boss a long time ago who told me the answer, but I have totally forgotten and am always wishing I knew. Anyone out there know?

What have you forgotten? What do you want to know? Are there any grammar or word usage errors that you often make?

Looking Together Vs. Having It Together

The posts and comments on Ask Moxie the last couple of days, plus some emails on the side and some comments IRL, have got me thinking about the difference between looking like you have it together and really having it together.

For example, my officemate at work told me recently that she never would have known I had PPD if I hadn't told her. She said I always seem so happy and cheerful (she might have even used the word "chipper"). And I'm sure I usually do... at work. It's home where I crash when I'm feeling depressed or even just down. It's in the privacy of my own home where I melt down and cry or sit on the couch and zone out not looking at anything. It's home where Londo has to make sure I've eating something, makes sure I go to bed, makes sure I'm really honestly alright (or not).

So many of us put on our best show for the outside world. So often parents who are incredibly sleep deprived go out in the world and try to appear like they have it together, when underneath they are "hazy foggers." Since about high school, I personally have develop this habit of dressing extra nice when I'm feeling really bad. For me, it's a way to help me feel better by at least looking nicer than I feel and also to put up a facade so the world doesn't know just how rough I'm doing.

And the facade I put up is often more than just the physical appearance. One of my best friends IMed me after reading a post I wrote recently about how much better I was feeling. She said she didn't realize just how bad I was feeling. She said I kind of mention that I've not been feeling well and when she asks I say I'm fine. I realized that this is because I don't really talk about how bad I'm feeling until I feel better (with everyone except Londo). Once I'm feeling better, then I can share that I was feeling really depressed or whatever I was feeling. But by that time, when people ask how I am or if they can help, I doing better and don't need help.

For me, my depression is tied to the Seasonal Affective Disorder (and recently to the PPD), and therefore come every winter. I guess in my head, people who know this about me should simply know that in the winter I am not doing well. But people forget, and I act fine on the outside. To be honest, I don't know how else to act. I can't have a breakdown at work or when I'm out in public, because it would be putting myself on display. Who's going to want to do that? In most cases, people do act like they've got it somewhat together in public.

So when I see other moms looking like they have it all under control, I rarely believe that they really do. I never assume that everyone else handles this parenting thing just fine, that it's just me who has a hard time. I know that not all babies are as fussy as mine, but I do know that most babies go through sleep regressions, teething, sicknesses, terrible twos/threes, and just general grumpiness. Moms who look perfect and seem to be able to juggle everything with a smile--I think it's great that can look like they have it together! Do they really have it together? Maybe, but probably they are struggling with the same things I am, you are, everyone is. For all I know, I might look as put together as they do--and on occassions I might even feel that together!

But the one thing that makes me sad is when we verbally lie to each other. Now, I understand that people don't want to share their troubles with random strangers. But if someone I know were to look at me and say that being a mom isn't that hard, that they can handle everything, that they really do have it all together, I will believe them. If they are lying, that makes me sad. I guess people do it because they don't want advice or for others to think they can't handle being a parent. I understand that, but if we don't share how hard this can be with each other, how will we ever know that it is normal to struggle? That it's normal to have a baby that doesn't sleep through the night? That it is normal to feel down? That you are not alone in having PPD or other emotional problems?

I'm rambling, I know. But I'm tired, because we are in a bit of a sleep regression. I really am circling around two points:
1. I think it's important we don't judge a book by its cover. Especially when the person we end up judging is ourselves because we don't think we have it together like so-and-so.
2. I think it's equally important that we are honest with each other. We aren't afraid to say, "My child is fussy, she is not sleeping, and this parenting thing isn't easy." The more of us who are honest with each other, who put ourselves out there as not "perfect," the better we will be as a community of people.

Of course, for my second point to work, we have to be less judgemental of other people and be willing to ignore those who are judgemental. They are either lying to you or themselves or simply don't know what it's like to be in your shoes. They are not your target audience. But there might be someone listening, some other parent or soon-to-be parent that hears you and what you say makes all the difference in the world to them.

What We Put In Our Bodies

First two things I wanted to mention, and then on to my post. Thanks for all your comments about my childcare delimma. It helps to hear other opinions, and that website that La Folle Maman gave has been fantastic! I'll keep you all updated as we go along, including my reaction to the Montessori school I visited (I LOVED IT!!!). Speaking of updates, I updated the Quote I Love at the bottom of the blog with one of my favorite quotes from Mark Twain. It's a good one--check it out. Now, on to today's thoughts...

I've mentioned before that I'm a bit of a hippie mom. Well, this seems to be especially true in my choices for foods and other things that my baby girl might ingest. I used to roll my eyes at people who bought organic foods or said how eating this or that could cause cancer. It seems that everything causes cancer, so that scare tactic wouldn't work on me!

Now, I'm thinking that everything DOES seem to cause (or at least contribute to) cancer. Or ADD/ADHD or autism or fertility issues or early puberty (even though as a species we are having children later, so evolutionarily we should be having puberty later) or allergies or diabeties or... Well, you get the picture. In the past, oh, 23 months or so*, I've really started paying attention to what I'm ingesting and what my child is ingesting. (I'm also paying attention to what Londo is ingesting, but I try to only encourage not control what he eats since I like being married to him.) And I'm concerned about the amount of incidental crap that is in the foods we buy and eat.

This is why cutting back on high fructose corn syrup and buying more organic foods were two of the three things I picked as part of Ask Moxie's 60 Challenge. I'm also trying to cut down on things with perservatives, food coloring, food additives (what does that even mean?), and processed foods. This doesn't mean that I don't occassionally go out and get the McDonald's cheeseburger and fries, but in general I'm trying to buy, cook and eat better. More natural.

This means that my grocery shopping trips take 2-3 times as long because I am reading the ingredients in EVERYTHING, which in turn means that I don't bring the Pumpkin with me to the grocery much. It also means I'm shopping more and more at Wholefoods and I plan to start going to the local farmers' market and Trader Joe's. It means that I'm trying to bake my own bread** and cook healthly meals more often in order to control the ingredients that goes into what we are eating.

I'm not generally an alarmist, but I see the way the world is moving and I want to get off that ride. For the convience of time, our diets have changed in ways that I'm not sure our bodies are designed to handle. I'm not saying that all the world's ills are because we are eating ready-made dinners. But if I can make time to cook things myself and pay attention to what is in the things I buy, that can't hurt. I don't always have the time, because Londo and I both work out of the home and have a lot going on. But I'm trying to make the time and do things in advance and change the way we think and the way we live, not just for our sakes but for the Pumpkin's sake especially.

There is another example of me being a hippie mom. I'm not a perfect hippie, but I aspire! I'm also buying some interesting books on these topics, and I'm sure I'll share my reviews of them after I read them. I think I'd feel a little more awkward about this concern, except I've found more and more of my friends worrying about the same things, especially those who've recently had children. And based on the comments I got about the baby-led weaning/feeding, maybe being a hippie mom is really just being a mom. Someone tell that to Londo, who still calls me his little hippie wife. ;-)

*That would be calculated as 9.5 months pregnancy plus 13 months of life for my child.
**Did you know that most whole wheat bread has high fructose corn syrup in it? And that a lot of mixes for breads and pancakes have aluminum in them?

Question of the Week - How Many Kids?

There has been talk lately about how many kids people are having (see the talk in posts by Moxie (comments section), hush, Cloud, to name a few).

Though there are lots of answers on those posts and comments, I'm asking the question out right here for this week's Question of the Week:

In an ideal world, how many kids are you going to have?

I say "an ideal world" because of my intimate familiarity with infertility. I know there are some out there who want more and are having problems with conceiving and/or carrying another child or even a first child. BTDT.

But for the sake of pretend, let's say that fertility is not an issue. How many kids would you have?

My answer: Hmmm. My answer...

Well, before I had kids, I almost always wanted three kids. I was the youngest of three, as was my husband. I am used to three. I like the dynamics of three. Three is comfortable to me. And heck, if my parents had stopped at two, I wouldn't be here!

There was a short period of time when I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to handle three, and thought just two. This was still before I had kids, but after I years of dealing with recurring depression which turned out to be Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). At the time, taking care of just myself even with the help of Londo seemed overwhelming. But then I figured out that it was SAD and started light therapy during the winters. Life seemed a bit easier.

And then we had the Pumpkin. My vivacious, spirited, active daughter who had such problems with sleeping and requires so much energy. But who also gives back so much joy and laughter and love.

To be honest, that first year of her life, I thought the idea of having more kids was I-N-S-A-N-E! But Londo and I had always planned on having two, at minimum. And after the first year, I started to regain some of my sense of self and sanity and even sleep. I continued to be sure I wanted at least one more. Not knowing how long it would take us to conceive again, we jumped right back into it, and were very lucky that it didn't take long with some help from the specialists.

Then was the really rough pregnancy, during which I swore up and down that that was it. I couldn't do it again. It was too hard, I was too tired. I could not handle another pregnancy. Two was it! I was so 100% sure!

Then... well, then there was the Pookie. He was an easier baby, and I didn't dislike the infant stage so much the second time around. And there were some really sweet moments with two children, and I would say to Londo, "well, maybe three." And he'd usually shake his head and insist that he was done. But once or twice he said "maybe" and meant it. In fact, we both agreed that he would hold off doing something permentant in the way of prevention for five years after the Pookie's birth. Just to be sure.

Enter into the narrative the Pookie's 6 month growth spurt/sleep regression, during which he woke up every. freaking. hour! to nurse! I made my sister promise me that if I ever started talking crazy about having another kid to remind me of that time, that hell of a time with both kids waking in the night, feeling drained and OMG I just could NEVER do that again! No way! I was done! Two and through! (Londo remained steadfast in his stance of just two.)

And now? Since about the time the Pookie was 9 months old on? I'm back to wanting three. I think I'm crazy. I can't imagine doing it again. We certainly can't afford it now AT ALL (which is the main reason I'm not pushing the issue with Londo. Yet). However, I do think I could handle three kids once I'm through the pregnancy and first year, thanks to the medication that was so successful for me last year. Granted it would be harder to have three, but I just don't think it would be exponentially harder. Just a fraction harder. After all, I found going from one to two not NEARLY as hard as going from zero to one. Surely going from two to three won't be as hard, either. (Unless perhaps we are blessed with another spirited child!) (Also, Londo does not feel the same about this. Londo found it harder than I did to go from one to two.)

When I walk around and see other families with three kids, I long for a similar family. When I think about the kids when they are older, I think how nice it would be to have three. When I think of the kids grown, I imagine three kids and spouses/partners and grandchild! There is something about a family with three kids that feels so right to me.

That doesn't mean that we will have three. Londo is still pretty sure his answer is two. I love our two kids, and I will definitely be extremely happy with this family as it currently is. But I worry that I will always feel like I wasn't done. That our family should have had one more. I just won't insist on it at the expense of going to the poor house or Londo having a total breakdown (his threats to leave me are just a joke... but his having a breakdown might have some truth to it).

I may want three kids now, at this moment, but my two are fantastic and I don't want to miss a moment with them. So I will focus on them now, and give it another year or two to decide for sure with Londo. This does mean we have to keep all that maternity clothes and infant clothes and toys for a few more years. It will be nice to get all that out of the house. But I'm not ready yet to say that we are done.

What about you? Are you done with one? Two and through? Three and let it be? Four or more? Has your answer changed over time, especially since actually having kids? Is your partner in agreement? If you don't have a partner, would you be willing to have more on your own? In your ideal world, how many kids would you have, knowing what you know now?

There's a Recession? Ah! Blog It!

So apparently there is some sort of recession going on and we should be doing some sort of economic stimulus. I don't really know much about it, since I avoid the news like the plague. But I hear it's happening, and it's affecting even the bloggers here in the blogosphere! It may even strike on of you--or, heaven forbid, ME!

But don't worry, there is a plan!

August is Blog the Recession month, hosted by Motherhood Uncensored!



What this means is that those of us who read blogs should actually visit the blogs. That's right, click off your reader/feed and get thee to the blog! And maybe even click around a bit. Check out other pages. Check out links. Those extra clicks might mean the difference to some poor, starving blogger. Even for those of us who don't have advertising (at least not yet), the extra page views and time on page can really mean a lot. If you are feeling crazy, you could even leave comments--I especially love the conversational aspect of blogging/comments.

As for me, I always open the blog from my reader. But I will be doing my part by going down my and other's blogrolls and finding new blogs. Sure I'm exhausted and super busy, but I will do it for You! And you. And you.

So please, go click some blogs. You can make a difference. Think of the children!!

---------------------

In other news, I got two solid chunks of sleep last night! Not as good as sleeping the night through in my own bed, but I will take whatever the Pumpkin gives me.

DC Area Blogging Happenings

You all are wonderful, and it helps to read such supportive comments. Thank you. Now if only you all lived close to me and could get together and hang out with me!

On Monday, October 13th, I'm going to go to the BlogHer DC '08 Conference, which is part of the BlogHer Reach Out Tour '08. For those of us who are totally geeks about blogging interested in learning more about blogging and want to network with other bloggers but couldn't make it all the way out to San Francisco last July, BlogHer is doing this Reach Out Tour to different cities. Luckily, DC is on the list!

I know that Colleen is going. She and I are already planning to meet up at breakfast. Is anyone else going? It's apparently not to late to sign up, if you happen to be free on Monday.

Also, I had talked about spearheading another DC area get together in late September or October. Here we are almost mid-October and I haven't said a word about it. I was actually starting to think that maybe we could do something Halloween themed, maybe on Saturday, November 1st, the day after Halloween? What do you guys think? Maybe a play date at my house, which will be all decorated?

Anyway, that's all that my brain can handle right now. I'm still exhausted, and the Pumpkin is still sick. She did sleep last night... On me... In the glider/recliner... Shifting and kicking and arching every hour or two. So, I'm still exhausted. Did I say that already?

Question of the Week - Caring for the Child

I hope all the mothers out there had a happy Mother's Day. (At least for those who knew it was Mother's Day. hehe. I guess it's not as big a deal in other countries.) For those who are not yet mothers or are still trying to be mothers, I hope next year brings you a lovely Mother's Day filled with all you could have hoped for.

I'm gonna update about my weekend first, and then we'll get to the Question of the Week. Because I haven't complained enough about our lack of sleep. ;-)

My brother needed Londo's help moving on Sunday, so Londo gave me Saturday as a day off from childcare and anything else to enjoy doing whatever I wanted, which included a 2 HOUR NAP!!! and playing around on the computer for the rest of the afternoon. Alas, I still haven't caught up on all the blogs I like to read, but I was working on other things.

Unfortunately, Londo had to deal with a very fussy toddler and he was grumpy on his own anyway. These things kind of twinged my day a bit because I'm the type to feed off of others' emotions, especially those closest to me, and because I felt a bit guilty taking time off (oh that mother's guilt) especially when she has been so fussy.

We knew her second bottom molar was coming in, but by the evening we were starting to think she felt hotter than the slight fever she gets when teething. She hadn't been sleep well for a while (minus that one glorious night after her first molar broke through and she slept through the night), but Saturday night the Pumpkin was miserable. She was so hot and getting shivers. We gave her Motrin and try her in our bed, but she was kicking and flailing so much that no one was getting any sleep. Londo finally got her to sleep in her crib from about 4 to 6, but most of the night was pretty awful for all of us.

The next morning, she seemed fine and didn't seem feverish, just a little warm like she does when she's teething. So we went over to my mom's for a Mother's Day breakfast with my parents, my grandmother, my sister's family, and my brother's family, and we had a really good time. When we brought her back home at morning naptime, she was melting down and feeling miserable. I just held her for her nap and we both napped in the recliner, while Londo went to help my brother move. We napped about 40 minutes, but she woke up still tired and cranky and very clingy. It was kind of nice to have her so clingy and cuddly on Mother's Day, but it was a shame she felt so bad.

She fell back asleep in my arms an hour or two later, after eating very little. I was able to go online and type one handed while she slept on me (sorry to those who got my sloppy comments!). When she woke up again, she was still so groggy and hot. I finally decided to take her temperature rectally (the forehead thermometer just isn't accurate), and it was 104.3!!! That was when I got panicky and called my pediatrician's nurse on call. She made me feel a lot better and we talked about what I was doing to help the Pumpkin: medicine for the fever, liquids, saline swabs for her nose, foods when she'd eat them, keep her cool. I was doing all but keeping her cool enough. So I stripped her down to her onsie and light pants (not even socks) and gave her a couple of ounces of cold milk. After she finished the milk, she popped up, wanted to get down and started running around playing! She did so much better the rest of the evening!

We still had a rough night, and my back, arms and legs are so sore from sleeping in the recliner, but the fever has not seemed to come back. I'm taking her in to the doctor today even though her fever seems gone. She's still fussy and not eating much, but that's how she was with the molar teething before all this. I'll feel better after the doctor checks her out.

The Pumpkin and I didn't wake up from our sleeping in the recliner until 7:00, and then I nursed her for about a half hour, got her dressed and ready, and it was almost 8:00. I still was not ready at all, hadn't even used the bathroom! But the nanny arrives at 8:00 (or shortly after), so I just brought the Pumpkin downstairs and when the nanny got there, I was able to go up and shower and get ready without having to chase around the toddler! It was such a relief because I was running so late (I like to be out the door just after 8:00).

So, this got me thinking... Usually we parents are full of guilt about the choices we make for going back to work or staying home, for sending a kid to daycare or spending money on a nanny, for so many things that seem so important in raising our children. What if we take a minute to say some good things about our childcare situation, whether it be staying at home with the child, having a nanny or family member watch the child or the child getting to go to daycare. So the question of the week is...

What is great about your childcare situation?

Mine is that the one-on-one care for the Pumpkin has been really good for her, and the nanny at our house is making my time getting out the door so much easier. Also, if the baby was this fussy and I was dropping her off at my mom's, I would always feel so bad because she is mom my doing this favor for us, but when it's the nanny I have less guilt about the Pumpkin being fussy because she is watching just her and can devote attention to her when she is fussy and clingy and, let's be honest, because we are paying her I feel like it's her job to watch the Pumpkin through the good and bad. I don't know if that makes sense out loud, but it does in my head.

How about you? What makes you happy about who is caring for your child and how?

Question of the Week - Halloween Costumes

I'm feeling much better. Thanks for all the nice comments. They really did help. Some days, I just wake up on the wrong side of the bed and everything frustrates me.

It didn't help that it was Halloween, my favorite holiday, and we had done almost nothing for it. Since we canceled our party, we just didn't bother to do anything. Londo got out the storage boxes of Halloween decorations and costumes, but those boxes sat untouched in our dining room. I looked at costumes for the Pumpkin, Londo and me, but I didn't buy anything. I borrowed my nieces costume from last year for the Pumpkin. And I think this was the first Halloween EVER that I didn't dress up at all. I wore orange and black at least, but I didn't even pull out any of my old costumes from the box.

But I finished my work on Friday on a high note (which helped me feel adequate again). When I got home from work, we dressed the Pumpkin in her borrowed costume and took a walk around the block to look at the houses that were decorated and see some kids out playing. After dinner, I sat outside with the Pumpkin in her costume and handed out candy to all the cute kids in their costumes. I ended up enjoying my favorite holiday even if we took it easy this year.

As a quick side note before the Question of the Week, a coworker said to me on Friday that it seemed a bit morbid that Halloween was my favorite holiday. So I explained to him: there is candy, dressing up as anything you want, kids dressed up in cute costumes, fun decorations, and neighbors visiting each other while the kids get candy. It's really rather friendly and fun, as holidays go. There is no pressure of having to pick which grandparents' house we are going to, no having to deal with families at all if you don't want, no big meal to worry about cooking and cleaning up from, nothing religious (to me) to have to do, and no presents (other than candy) to have to buy. The religious and family holidays are nice, but they just always seem like a lot of pressure. Halloween is just mostly some of my favorite, pressure-free things. So I'm not nearly as freaky as I sound when I say that Halloween is my favorite holiday.

And now on to the question of the week...

What was your kid for Halloween? And if you dressed up, what were you?

The adorable costume we borrowed for the Pumpkin was a monkey costume! This was really fitting for the Pumpkin, who is a little monkey, so you see I actually gave it some thought when I borrowed it. For once, I didn't dress up, nor did Londo. I didn't even dress up the dog! But last year, the Pumpkin was a unicorn, I was a fairy and Londo was a knight. I do love themes. Although the dog was a cow, which didn't go, but was very cute.

What about you? What was your little one(s)? What were you? Did you all do anything fun?

Question of the Week - New Passions

I've been thinking about Jac and SarcastiCarrie's comments on my last post. Specifically, I've been thinking about how becoming a parent can bring out things we didn't realize we cared a lot about until we had children. Whether it's realizing we think more about feminist issues after having a girl as opposed to boy or about the institutional sexism of school systems that are geared towards girls over boys or even about high fructose corn syrup in bread, there are topics and areas of, well, life that simply didn't cross our radar until we had kids.

As I said recently, I've always been a feminist. I've even always been a bit of a hippie. But since having kids, I have become passionate about topics that I hadn't even thought about before. I'll bet you have too.

This week's question of the week is:

What have you become passionate about since having kids?

I've become passionate about feminism from a mother's perspective and how sexism will affect my kids. I've become passionate about eating healthy foods, organic foods and cutting down on sugars, artificial dyes and other processed foods. I've become passionate about breastfeeding and supporting breastfeeding. I've become passionate about infertility and the availability of fertility treatments to everyone. And I've become passionate about the Montessori method of teaching and Montessori schools.

It's not that I always rant about these things, or even follow through with the support I want to provide others and myself. But internally, I feel the passion for these things. I may not be able to afford to buy all organic, but I do prioritize some organic foods, especially the foods the kids eat. I may not want to give my son processed chicken tenders with high fructose corn syrup, but since it's all he'll eat most days I do give them to him. I may not be breastfeeding my kids anymore, but I do give a smile of encouragement and support when I see another mother breastfeeding in public. I may not have a lot of time to be involved with my kids' Montessori school, but I do explain the method and why it's been so good for my kids to people around when the topic of my kids' pre-school comes up.

As the kids get older and I start to have more time and money to myself, I do plan to support my new passions more. But even before then, I do feel the passion. And it amazes me that things I feel passionate about I didn't even have a clue about pre-kids.

What about your passions? Have you developed new ones since having kids? Do you feel fired up internally about feminist issues or race issues or the state of the schools today? Do you do anything to support other parents or their kids under the umbrella of your passions? Do you now buy all organic, locally grown foods when you used to live on Hot Pockets? Which new interests have you developed since becoming a parent?

Ways I'm Dealing with Depression

You all are so great. All your comments have really helped me. Thank you so much for your kindness and support.

When I wrote I feel like the worst mother in the world, it was because I had finished my evening light therapy but I was too tired to get up and leave my room. I could hear Londo and the Pumpkin downstairs laughing and playing. I could also hear her start to tantrum and Londo get frustrated. Normally, I would have gone downstairs to join in the fun or help out with the tantrum. But I couldn't do either. I just couldn't be part of my family. I am not able to spend much time with my darling girl. And I happen to love the toddler stage and can even handle tantrums (to a point, of course). I just feel removed from my family, and that makes me even more sad and guilty. But the Pumpkin still lights up when she sees me, and we still laugh and have fun. And I know this is a short time in our lives, and future winters will be better when I'm not pregnant and am able to take the right medication I need. It's just hard to sit upstairs depressed while life continues below me.

I'm doing a little bit better. When I realized how bad I was doing Sunday and Monday (and leading up to it), I also realized that I needed to do things to help me feel better and get through this. I'm very proud of myself for the things I've done in the last few days. Especially because doing anything at this point seems overwhelming. For example, I need some comfortable, flat, brown shoes (pregnancy has me out of my heels, boo hooo). To most people, it's nothing to run out and buy a pair of shoes. But the idea of going to a store, finding/picking some out, trying them on, buying them... it makes me want to cry because it is so overwhelming to me.

But let me concentrate on the good things I've done, which will help keep me feeling better.

The two biggest things I'm doing are:
1. Telling the people who need to know that I am not doing well. While it's happening, not after I am feeling better (which was my usual MO).
2. Asking for the help I need. This includes determining what help I need, who can/should provide that, and reaching out to let them know I need help because of #1.

Because of these two things, I have accomplished the following:
-I upped the length of time I'm doing my light therapy.

-I have been taking Tylenol PM semi-regularly, while Londo takes night duty, so that I can get better quality of sleep. The Pumpkin is sleeping some nights by herself in her own bed! But even those nights, I wasn't sleeping well because I have a lot of trouble falling asleep and staying asleep (and falling back asleep) during pregnancy. My OB said (as has Cloud and others--thanks again) that Tylenol PM is perfectly safe to take, and I can take it as often as I need.

-I made an appointmnet with a new doctor to montitor my medication, because my old doctor is moving. My old doctor gave me the name of the new doctor, and I had left her a message, but didn't do anything more. Finally, I sent an email saying how poorly I was doing and could she squeeze me in soon. Which led to...

-I saw the new doctor last night, and we agreed to up the dosage of my medication a bit more. Apparently, it's still really safe in pregnancy at any dose, so I'm feeling good about that. She also helped me figure out ways to deal with what I'm going through, including telling me the other things I've been doing are right on.

-I have asked my mom to help me with things around the house. She was already on board with helping me prepare the Pumpkin's new room (and there is a lot of work to be done to get it ready), but right now, I need help with laundry and dishes and just picking up. Londo can only do so much, and right now, he's pretty much doing it all. We live around all of my immediate family, and they want to help. So I'm asking for help, and they are happy to do it!

-My MIL and FIL are planning to come up next weekend, and my MIL asked if she could stay for an extra week. I have happily agreed! I get along really well with my ILs, and my MIL is soooo helpful. We will still have our nanny come during the day, and my MIL often tries to help around the house while the nanny is here. I'm going to ask her for the help I need, in addition to her watching the Pumpkin in the evenings and some nights (she actually requests the night shift both to give us a break and to get snuggle time while cosleeping with the Pumpkin).

-After many talks with my bosses (I have at least three) over the months about what I'm going through and what we cn do to make things work for me, I finally came up with a plan with them that will work for me. They had one plan, but that fell through. Then the boss I'm mainly working with to figure this out came up with another plan that probably would have worked for me a few months ago. But I had to tell her that I am in a different place now, I'm really not doing well, and my needs have changed. So together, we came up with what I think will work for me, both in hours, location and projects. This has eased my stress a great deal!

It's amazing to me how I can feel better just by admitting I need help and asking for what I need. Of course, that means figuring out what I need. I honestly don't think I could have figured it out if I hadn't upped my light therapy and gotten some goods nights of sleep. But now, I am thinking a little more clearly and feeling a little bit better. This will be a tough month, and next month won't be great. But that's only another month or two, and then things will get better.

And then, we'll have a newborn and toddler and be crazy all over again! At least it will be June!

Question of the Week - Communicating with Friends

A good friend and I had an interesting discussion about communicating with friends and responsiveness. She has recently made friends with a woman who is really bad about returning calls and never answers her phone. My friend is understanding, because the woman has something like 3 jobs, a demanding husband and 2 kids. But after a while, it gets frustrating. It doesn't sound like the woman is blowing her off, because they get along great when they get together. To me, it just sounds like she is crazy busy and not good at responding/communicating.

I understand that, because I pretty much suck at being responsive in the communication department (especially in the winter). Maybe you noticed my lack of posting this past week or two, for example. With some friends, I do pretty well at keeping in touch with. With others, not so much. I am deeply fond of many people who I do not stay in touch with very well. I've been thinking it must have to do with communication styles.

So today's question of the week is:

How do you stay in touch/communicate with your friends?

Let me just say right off, I LOVE Facebook. It has enabled me to get back in touch with friends I wished I had kept up with, as well as keep up better with my good friends and family. I think why it works so well for me is that it's a very passive, very easy way to stay in touch. One click of the Like button, and my friend knows I've seen their status or picture and have enjoyed it. One sentence in a comment, and I'm interacting with my friend. My goodness, it's easy enough for even me to use regularly!

Blogs are also easy for me. I like to hear about what's going on in my friends' lives and be able to make short comments. Although there are times when I get behind on my blog reading or I'm reading but not commenting. I always catch up, even if I don't always comment.

You'd think I'd be good at emails, since I love to write. But I'm not really. I mean to be, just like I used to mean to be good about writing letters. I'm just not. And phone calls? Well it has to been easy and convienent. My friends who enjoy phone chats around 9 AM and/or 5:30 PM are the ones I talk to the most, thanks to a 30 minute plus commute and a hands-free ear piece. The people I keep in touch with best are those who read my blog and are able to chat on the phone at times convienent to me.

I don't mean to be a bad friend. I'm just... I don't know... lazy? Busy? Somewhat introverted? The friends who've been my friends for a long time are very forgiving of this character flaw of mine. They are okay with going months without hearing from me, and they don't hold it against me. I, apparently, need that kind of leeway. Though I absolutely love to get together for a lunch or a playdate and spend real time with my friends, it seems like we are all so busy these days. And it takes more initiative than I have in the winter time, so I often wait until spring and/or summer to do get togethers.

Luckily, I know this about myself, and I try very hard to account for it in my friendships, especially new ones. I've had friends invite me over and over to do things, when I constantly couldn't do it for one reason or another. I've had friends call me and leave me messages without getting return calls. But I try really hard to acknowledge this with my friends and ask them to keep inviting me places and keep calling. I try to be sure to let them know I'm not blowing them off. I just suck. It's not them, it's me.

What about you? Are you a phone chatter? Do you prefer emails? Are you just great about planning get togethers? How do you keep in touch with your friends? Do you respond right away? What kind of effort do you make to communicate?

Question of the Week - Geek Out

I'm a geek. I totally admit it. I don't think I look like a geek or usually act like one. But once you get to know me, it's not long until you realize it. If you know me in real life, you've known it for a long time. If you've been reading me for more than, oh, a day, you probably have already realized it.

I'm a geek. But not just because I can be a general geeky person. I am a geek because of the things I like and do. Want to hear all the ways I'm a geek? Sure you do!

-Blog Geek: I believe going to a blogging conference has put me firmly in the category of Blog Geek. Not to mention that I coordinate DC Area get togethers of bloggers and commenters. (Stay tuned, because there will be another one VERY SOON!)

-Science Geek: I love science and read science books and magazines. In fact, my thesis for my Masters pertained to Mars, which included analyzing history, science and pop culture pertaining to the Red Planet. Also, I recently made a geeky reference to Schrödinger's cat which was quite amusing to me and the other science geek.

-Sci-Fi Geek: Oh, I am. I am. Big time. My favorite show of all time is/was Farscape. I love the Star Treks except Enterprise (but no, I'm not a Trekker) and other sci-fi TV, movies, books, you name it. Although I have never been to a conference, but I would totally go to one. I would not dress up if I went. I'm not quite that geeky (not that there's anything wrong with that). But I have dressed up as sci-fi characters for Halloween, including Princess Leia and Chiana from Farscape.

I'm sure I've got many other varieties of geek in me. In fact, if any of you know another one, feel free to put it in the comments. But for now, let's get to the Question of the Week:

What kind of geek are you?

I mean, we all have a little geek in us, right? Be it technology, animal obsession, blogging, just about everyone has a passion that puts them right into the geek category. What is yours?

Four Year Old World of Extremes

I don't know if it's a phase or the age or her personality or something she is picking up from those around her (like her parents), but lately the Pumpkin has living in extremes. It's not just the "ever"s or "never"s she is constantly saying, but it is also often about who is the "best" or "most" or "better" or "faster" or... well, you get the point.

I mostly just let it go. I know she doesn't mean it when I give her a hug or kiss I didn't know she didn't want and she says she is never going to hug or kiss me ever again. Or when we insist she cleans up her toys or brushes her teeth and she says she is never going to do it again. Or even when her brother does something she didn't want him to do and she says she's never going to play with him again.

It's the heat of the moment. It's her feeling her emotions to the fullest. It's her lashing out. At least it's not her hitting or pushing. She is using her words... but words can hurt and I know we will need to address it when she can understand a little better how those words hurt and when she has the control to not just lash out. In other words, when she's a little older... like 30... or maybe 40. I'll let you know when I've figured it out myself. Heh.

I do get a wee bit frustrated when she is so competitive about things. She has to "win" at everything, from finishing her food before her brother to going up the stairs to building a tower with blocks, she wants to beat him. While I think this is probably a normal phase for her age, I want her to know NOW that it's okay not to win, and that not everything needs to be a competition.

Just this morning, she finished her toast first and said she won. I said (as I have many times before) that it's not a race. You eat what you are hungry for until you are full. You don't need to eat it fast, and that it's better to take your time so you digest better. I have a feeling that I will have to continue making these statements for a while.

A little healthy competition is good. My husband has good results getting the kids to do some things by making it a race or seeing who can do it fastest. But when it's about everything and it's all about winning, I worry about it. I want her to have fun playing and doing things. I want her to encourage her brother and others with supportive comments. I want her to want to win in competions, but not be crushed if she loses. Most importantly, I want her to learn to be a good sport no matter if she wins or loses.

It doesn't have to be the tallest tower. She doesn't have to be the fastest up the stairs, especially when we are trying to be calm on our way to bed. She doesn't have to finish her food first. She doesn't have to say she'll never hug me again. It doesn't have to be all about the extremes.

We've been watching the Cars movie (SPOILER WARNING: I'm going to talk about the end of the movie and who won the final race!!!), and yesterday when it was near the end and they were doing the final race, she said that Lightning McQueen and the King won. And Londo and I explained to her that they didn't win. Chick won. Lightning went back to help his friend, The King. We explained that it was more important to him to help his friend than it was to win the race. That was the lesson that Lightning learned. This was just after we had talked about the things he learned from his friends that he used in the race.

She was quiet for a minute, watching the movie. Then she said, "Lightning learned two things from his friends. He learned to go backwards from Tow Mater. And he learned to turn from Doc." Londo said, "Yes, he learned those two things about driving for the race. But he also learned a third thing." I said, "He also learned that it's more important to help his friend than to win the race." Even though we had just said this, it felt important to repeat it.

These are the lessons we will work on. Right now, she is living in extremes. I've always said that the Pumpkin feels her emotions to the fullest. If she is happy, she is giddy with happiness. If she is sad, she is devestated. If she is angry, she is furious. She is my girl with the curl right in the middle of her forhead. I feel emotions like that at times as well. I understand getting overwhelmed and needing to express what I'm feeling. But I also understand how it can feel to be on the receiving end of those emotions, and how important it can be to temper them or find an appropriate outlet.

So we will keep talking about it. We will keep expressing the importance of being a good sport. We will work on teaching how words can hurt and how to express ourselves in ways that are not hurtful to others. And I think we'll be watching the Cars movie a few more times and discussing the lessons we can learn from that.

And maybe the world of extremes will continue. There are worse things that can happen. Hopefully she learns ways to express those extremes that aren't quite so, well, extreme. Time will tell.

Is It Only Wednesday?

This has been a crazy week. My husband has his super important annual meeting (of some sort or another) tomorrow, and each year it requires a LOT of preparation on his part and his team's part. So he's been working late every night this week. And although he was able to help me out a little this morning, it's pretty much been me and the kids for the past few days straight.

We've been having a really fun time! Whenever I get to do the late afternoons with the kids, I have so much fun. Our mornings almost always feel so rushed and hectic, with me trying to get everyone ready for the day and fed breakfast and then getting the Pumpkin and myself out the door. In the afternoons, I pick up the Pumpkin and come home to the Pookie. The nanny leaves, and we have snacks and play inside or in the back yard. I make some dinner, we eat and then get ready for bed.

I do get some help at bedtime, since both kids need a person with them until they are asleep (though, sometimes the Pookie is able to be put in his crib in that almost mythical state of drowsy-but-awake and then falls asleep by himself!). My dad came over last night, and my mom came over tonight.

My only real issue with this week is that I am not able to get into work any earlier but I have to leave early to get the Pumpkin and relieve the nanny in time. I'm not getting enough done at work because of the short days, and I'm spending hours each day in meetings. Luckily, we are really getting stuff accomplished in those meetings--real working meetings!

These days, I have precious little time for myself, which means very little time for blogging. And the worst of all? My work no longer allows me regular access to Blogger! Apparently they've changed the access and to log into Blogger, so that there is a "quota" of time that I can have on that site. It said I have 60 minutes for the site, but I don't know if that is per day or per week or what! Not that I'm logged into Blogger much at work, but I do have to log in to publish comments. And I think that each time I log in, subtracts 10 minutes at a time. I'm scared to find out for sure! Either way, it SUCKS!

I'm really looking forward to this weekend, though! DC area meet up on Saturday, and Mother's Day on Sunday!

Guest Blogger: With Every Christmas Card I Write...

I have a special treat today... My good friend MommyEm has agreed to provide a post for today so I can continue day 2 of baking (which will probably go into a day 3 and maybe 4) and work on my own Christmas cards! Just maybe I'll get it all done close to Christmas. Thanks MommyEm, and enjoy readers!

------------------------------

All names and some details have been changed to protection the innocent…oh, who am I kidding…it’s to protect me! - MommyEm

I used to like Christmas letters. Until exactly 40 second ago. I liked everything about them – the pictures, the paper, and the concise life updates. My favorites were from close friends and family since I knew the real dirt and liked to see how they edited out the PG-13 and R rated details from their lives. I suppose it all started when my sister and I were the stars of our parents Christmas letters and I liked that people around the globe (my mother has a friend in Holland) were reading about my adventures in life.

But my love of mass yule tide greetings came to a screeching halt when I excitedly ripped open a friend’s letter and can came face to face with a perfection confection that just made me sick. And jealous. Both feelings that make me turn green, which isn’t good with my skin tone. But as a new mom with an 11-month-old who thinks sleep at night is for the weak, I beg your and my friend’s (although I really really really hope she never reads this) forgiveness. Here are six reasons for my unattractive jealous rage towards a dear friend:

1. The letter is perfect and on-time – the perfect picture of darling child with jolly Santa. If we are lucky, Dorothy will get her picture at a local pharmacy Santa with a candy cane in one hand and complimentary bottle of baby Tylenol in the other (childproof cap, of course).
2. Quote – the perfect child is “sleeping through the night since 10 weeks.” No comment. Well, actually lots of comments, but I don’t want Dorothy’s second word to be “@#%&#!!”
3. Adorable cat loves adorable baby – I keep worrying that Dorothy will need a baby eye patch after our demon cat Medea takes a swipe at her one day.
4. She loves her job and gets paid well. I love my job, but the last time I checked this stay-at-home mom thing was an unpaid internship.
5. Perfect husband got a new perfect job. My perfect husband, love him as I do, got the perfect job, but it requires a move during the holidays.
6. They have the perfect house. I have a house that looks like it could audition for an episode of “Clean House.”

See? She’s organized, sleeping, and looks really cute in her picture. Of course I hate her. Can you blame me? Wait…don’t answer that. Jealous ragers, especially those who haven’t slept for over a year, only ask rhetorical questions. Childish? Yeah. Petty? Sure. Will feel bad about disparaging a friend? Absolutely. After eight straight hours of sleep. I swear. So, happy holidays from the Land of NO-Z’s and may all your children sleep through the night.

DC Area Meet Up THIS WEEKEND!!!

Updated with hair information in caps, by request.

Okay, is everybody as excited as I am for this weekend? I mean, I haven't been to the zoo in two months, so I'm really looking forward to seeing the avian house again...

JUST KIDDING! The zoo is nice and all, but I can't wait to meet all you fine people who are coming out from behind your computers to meet in person. And the weather is supposed to be pretty good: "Saturday: Sunny. Highs in the mid 70s."

So let's finalize the plan.

Schedule for May 24th Zoo Meet Up:
-11:00 Meet outside of the National Zoo Store in the Visitors Center between the Conneticut Ave entrance and the Lot A entrance.
-12:30 - 1:30 Lunch in the Mane Restaurant

How to know it's us:
-I'll be the short girl with long (HALFWAY DOWN MY BACK, BROWN) hair wearing a pink Redskins hat (and probably a pink zip-up over a black T-shirt--cause I'm cute and match like that). My 6'4" hubby will probably be with me, and we'll have a black and red stroller (the Pumpkin may or may not be in it). Also, it is likely my little girl will be in a sling or backpack on me.
-Also look for a group of people and kids with name tags.

Who will be there:
-Becoming Mommy
-liz
-DC Ranger
-chaser
-Sharina
-Anonymous (from original DC Area Meet Up post)
-meggiemoo
-wealhtheow
-hedra of Hands Full of Rocks
-Colleen of Wine Please
-Becky
-caramama of Cara Mama

Anything else? Questions? Comments? More people who want to join?

Cara Figlia - Out and About

Cara mia figlia,

You are so good when we go out to eat. Your daddy and I love to go out to breakfast on the weekends, and the past two weekends you have been great. I love that I can just sit you in a highchair, order off the menu for you and watch you eat with the rest of us. You really love to be out and about, looking at everything and everyone. And everyone around you comments on how bright eyed and happy you are.

Now, we are going to take you with us while we run some errands. You seem to be bored at home lately with the same old toys. Goodness knows your daddy and I are tired of trying to keep you out of the trash and cabinets you aren't supposed to get into. I'm sure we will be getting some new toys for your upcoming birthday, so for now, we're just going to go out and do stuff to keep you from being bored. One of our errands is to buy hardware for the cabinets so we can put baby-proof locks on them. While I'm sure they will frustrate you, they will make your daddy's and my lives a bit easier.

Ti amo,
Mama